More of the Silco survives AU! This is part three. Part 1 and Part 2
The girls learn the truth and Silco gets a taste of a monster
AU I thought of that is very significant to my mental health.
Hey Cherry, I love ur blog. Can I request afab!reader giving Miguel a little strip tease? You can add the context, I just want Miggy to watch as his beautiful lady teases him and makes him wait to get the goods. Thank you very much, and have a lovely new year :)
Pairing: Miguel O'Hara x fem!reader
Warnings: 18+, NSFW, Mentions of Nudity, Sexual Touching, Mentions of Fingering
A/N: You just KNOW it's bad if it says happy new years LOL. I hope this year is treating you well, love!
Not Edited
You didn't mean to be a tease.
You were simply doing what you always did after your shower. The only difference is Miguel laying in bed watching you. You had ignored him, walking over to your things on the dresser. Your towel was clutched tight to your body, the outfit you were planning for your night out sitting on a hanger next to your closet. But before you put it on, you went through your routine.
You reach for your bottle of lotion, (something that smelled pleasant but didn't seem worth the money you had spent on the name brand cream), and hit the cap against your palm. Your music could still be heard from the bathroom, and you hummed along to the tune, occasionally whispering the words under your breath as you uncapped the bottle. With slight pressure, the cold lotion gathered in your hand, and you slapped the cap back onto the heel of your palm before setting it on the dresser. You smooth the clump over your hands, getting them evenly coated before bending down. It was slightly awkward as your hair began to fall in your face and you had to press your arms firmly to your sides to keep the towel from falling off.
As you begin to rub the lotion into your skin, a sudden noise from behind you makes you startle. Still in your position, you turn to look over your shoulder. Miguel enters your view instantly, seeing that he pushed his holographic screens that he was working on to the side to get a good view of you. His hand was pressed into the front of his pants, his eyes half lidded as he looks at you. But his eyes aren't trained on your face. No, they're trained to where your towel rides up slightly over your ass from your position, giving him a perfect view of your pussy. He presses his hand harder against himself, his wrist beginning to move in slow rolls.
It makes your cheeks flush, and you call out his name in a chastise. But he pays you no mind as he continues looking, making you hastily straighten up and turn around. Your face is still hot from his actions, but you clear your throat and try to get rid of the lewd image. You pick up your perfume, clearing your through as you begin fiddling with it as you tilt your head back slightly to spray the sweet scent over your skin. The expensive bottle almost slips out of your hands as you feel Miguel's stomach suddenly pressing against your back. Your head tilts further back to look up at him, your eyes meeting his blazing red ones. You begin to open your mouth to question him, but a sharp gasp leaves your lips as his warm palm snakes under your towel and cups the entirety of your cunt.
Your cheeks absolutely burn, your body becoming very aware of his touch and the hardness pressing against you. Miguel presses against you harder, forcing your body to bend down until your chest is pressed down against the dresser. Miguel's body follows, keeping you down as he buries his head into the junction of your neck to smell your signature scent.
"Let me help you rub that in, hermosa," he mutters, his warm breath heating your ear. And you don't even have time to protest when he slips his fingers inside of you and begins to massage your gummy walls.
Looks like you might need another shower after this.
Alright, my account where I write all my little whatever's @baby-greatness is like.... gone to the world? It's pissing me off so I'm moving back to the main, give me a moment to reconstruct đ
Everyone wanted to be thicc but nobody wanted to be fat. Everyone wanted the dad bod but nobody wanted to be fat. Everyone wants fat mommy milkers but nobody wants mommy to be fat. Everyone wants to be a bear but not like, an actual fat bear. You get what iâm saying
one thing i wonât be doing is having people believe a white person can experience racism
The only woman I'd call mommy to her face.
i mean- c-please just- o-a-anything, i'll do anything.
ALT Text: A GIF of Vi from Arcane fighting Sevika. It is important to mention she is wearing a sleeveless top.
white t girl i love you. and also do not forget that you are not the modern martyr for the oppressed voice. that's still black girls. it's always been black girls. stories of black martyrdom simply don't make it into the news cycle until the unrest caused by its reporting can be packaged as a "riot" segment between traffic reports. i know you suffer, but whatever you're experiencing, i beg you, when interacting with your community and building nuanced understandings of each other and the system which binds us, to not forget that a black tgirl has felt it 100 times worse before positioning yourself as an authority on all systems of oppression for having suffered unjustly at all. because you have suffered unjustly, but suffering unjustly as a white person means something so much different.
I canât stop thinking about bratty princess reader x bodyguards 141
Something something your life is ruined now that your father has hired four broody body guards to be with you at all times. They usually rotate shifts, one staying with you at all times.
Sometimes events call for three of them or all of them. So when itâs time for a royal ball and three of them are needed, Simon opts to sit this one out in hopes to avoid the uncomfortable socialization.
After the ball, John stays at the palace with you and Kyle and Johnny join Simon back at their residence. Simon is absolutely baffled when the boys donât shut up about how bratty you were and the major attitude adjustment you need.
Talking about how you refused to follow directions, even when they were for your safety. Refused to buckle up in the car and struggled so much that Johnny had to hold you down while Kyle buckled you up. Pouting the rest of the way home. Refused to eat dinner at the ball and insisted they stop at a drive through even though that wasnât on your itinerary. Threatening to get them fired if they donât take you.
The boys go on and on about your behavior and Simon just listens, dumbfounded.
âWhatâs that face for Riley? She even worse with you?â Johnny asks with a frustrated tone.
Simon shakes his head. âNo attitude for me.â
The boys both start laughing. Thereâs no way thatâs true. Youâre truly a spoiled rotten brat, they think. Thereâs no way that heâs serious.
They never believe him until thereâs an event that calls for all four of them. Simonâs with you at the palace while you get ready. The three boys pull up out front ready for you to join.
They watch as you walk nicely to the car and climb into the middle settling in next to Johnny. Simon climbs in after you. The boys are ready for the battle of asking you to buckle up.
âBuckle, princessâ Simon grumbles.
âYes, Mr. Riley.â The car goes silent. Johnny and Kyle look like their eyes are about to pop out of their head. John doesnât miss the way your cheeks blushed red.
The car ride is silent. The boys are too shocked to say anything. Since when did you have manners and the ability to follow instructions? John drives with a grin on his face. Simon is unphased as you rest your head on his shoulder.
At the event, you are on your best behavior. You eat your food, move when instructed to move, and smile the whole time. The boys are genuinely so shocked at this new side of you. They watch in awe as Simon approaches you and the ever present feisty look is no where to be found.
âReady to go?â Simon asks softly.
âCan we please stay a little longer?â You ask so kindly. Simon nods and finds his protective position.
âDid she just say please?â Johnny asked exasperated.
âShe doesnât even know what that word means!?!?â Kyle is just as shocked. John just chuckles and shakes his head.
They then watch as minutes pass and you gently tap Simon and tell him you are ready to leave.
When you get to the car, Johnny decides to put this to the test. Simon gets you in the car and closes the door to talk to the event staff before leaving.
âBuckle up sweetheart.â Johnny instructs.
You give him a polite nod and buckle up quickly. John lets out a chuckle and before Johnny canât say anything before Simon is joining them in the car. âBloody hell.â is all that is heard as the car falls silent.
On the way home, you lean over the Simon and ask if you could stop for ice cream. He replies with a simple âNo, princessâ and is met with no reaction from you. A slight nod and your head falls back against his shoulder.
Kyle is about to lose it. You threatening to get them fired if they didnât take you through the drive through the other day. What the fuck has Simon done to you??
Something something and now itâs the end of the night. Simon has got you settled into bed and walks into the castle living room to review how tonight went with the security team.
âWhat the fuck did you do to her?â Johnny and Kyle stare at him as if heâs accomplished the impossible.
âTold ya, no attitude with me.â
John chuckles and pats Simon on the back as he grins.
A/n: is this dumb?? Itâs been eating my brain for a four hour car ride đđ
peristalsis - ii.
selkie!soap x reader. depression. suicidal ideation. strangers to "lovers." 4.9k. . Running away from life to the Scottish Hebrides, you meet a man who won't leave you alone. . Masterlist. Ao3.
previous
You sleep long enough that, when you wake up, you have enough energy to cry.
Itâs a big one. The kind of cry that threatens to turn your throat out, with how hard you sob. Alone in the cottage, far away from anything resembling civilization, you wail like wounded animal, choking on your own tears and mucus, losing track of your body buried underneath the coversâ
But it happens at a remove. You watch yourself implode from someplace deep inside, not entirely sure why itâs happening at allâbut long past trying to figure it out.
This is how itâs been for a while. Thereâs nothing special about it anymore. Nothing urgent. Most of the time, you are a blank space of a person, a vacuum where joy or rage or fear should be, but occasionally some maelstrom or another kicks up to fill it in, and your only course of action is to ride it out until it ends.
Youâve stopped trying to fix it. And youâve stopped hoping anyone else can, either.
So you cry, until at last, youâre empty again. Or youâre too tired to continue. The difference is negligible, but functionally irrelevant. Once itâs done, you get out of bed.
The pressure in the shower is as weak as Johnny reported, but the water is indeed warm when you turn it on; you stand naked under the flow, arms hanging at your sides.
The day stretches itself out before you with nothing to occupying it, just as youâd planned. Nothing to work towards; no effort to put forward. Nothing, thanks to your choice of locale, to feel guilty about not seeking out.
A day of peace and utter quiet.
Suddenlyâviolent banging, somewhere in the cottage. It startles you; you jump so sharply at the noise that you smack your wrist on the soap caddy attached to the shower wall. The banging comes againâannoyed, you realize with no little bemusement that someone is at the front door.
You wrap yourself in a towel and hobble out of the bathroom to answer it, a piece of your mind on your tongue, dart-shaped and ready to flyâ
Of course itâs Johnny.
Johnny, big and burly in a sweater, kilt, and pelt once again, two paper cups balanced in one large hand and a grocery bag hanging from the other. Whose dark brows shoot up his forehead as his eyes travel with surprise, and blatant appreciation, down the dripping length your body.
âWell, good morninâ, bonnie,â he purrs.
âWhat,â you grunt. A cold breath of wind chooses that moment to force its way through the door, gasping across the shower water still running in rivulets from your hair to the rolled edge of your towel. Goosebumps erupt from your bare skin in millions of simultaneous pinpricksâyou flinch bodily at the chill.
âAh, hellâs bells, donât just stand there,â Johnny says, following the wind. âItâs freezin,â go on, let me get in, hurry.â
You let him step inside, for some reason, and he shuts the door behind him with the heel of his boot. He wastes no time after that, heading to the kitchen to set down his things.
âBrought breakfast!â he says cheerfully. âThereâs this bakery on Barra I thought youâd like, fresh doughnuts and coffee. Dunno how you take yours, but thereâs sugar in the pantry and cream in the fridge.â
âI donât want breakfast,â you say.
âWhat? âCourse you do. Iâm noâ takinâ you seal-watchinâ on an empty stomach.â
He starts unpacking the grocery bag and setting things on the counter while your jaw hangs open. Several things occur to you to sayâI never agreed to that and what the hell is wrong with you, for startersâbut your stomach growls at him before you can. The aroma of fresh-baked pastry wafts through the kitchen when he opens one box, and he turns to grin at you, cheeks dimpling.
âDo you get dressed, bonnie,â he says. âItâll still be here when yâget back.â
It is less polite than he perhaps intends it to be, given that his gaze travels appreciatively across your bare shoulders. You cross your arms fruitlessly over your chest and, nothing else for it, retreat to the bedroom, feeling his eyes on you the whole way.
You return to the kitchen after having pulled on wool leggings and the same fleecy sweater from the day before. Johnny, one hip set against the counter, has a cup of steaming coffee in one hand and a half-eaten cruller in the other, crumbs at the corner of his mouth.
âGot anythinâ heavier?â he asks around a chewed-up mouthful. âGets cold out there.â
You look down at his bare calves, broad and taut and covered in a down of dark hair. âYou seem alright.â
âIâm used to it,â he says, shruggingâthe muscles flexing under your gaze.
You purse your lips. âI donât have anything.â You hadnât intended to leave the cottage overmuch.
You approach the counter. Johnny does not move a centimeter, forcing you to stand close as you pick through the two boxes of doughnuts and feel the body heat radiating off of him, displacing the scent of fried dough with his musk.
âThatâs all right,â he says. Youâre close enough to hear the way his voice hums deep in his chest. âI can keep you warm.â
You snatch a plain glazed from the box and take two very large steps away from him. The hair on the back of your neck lifts as you press against the sink behind you. If he notices your reaction, it doesnât seem to bother him in the slightestâhe lifts the cup to his lips and drinks, eyes sliding closed with simple, obvious pleasure, dark lashes curling against his cheek.
You take the brief respite from his gaze to stare at him. In the morning light, on a full night of sleep, you can almost believe that whatever youâd seen in him yesterday had been nothing more than a misfire of exhausted synapses. An overlay of a dream; a circadian prompt to rectify nearly seventeen hours of sleeplessness. Youâd been cold, and tired, and hungry. That was all.
You bite down on your doughnut, not really tasting it. The nerves along your spine twitch and contract around the memory of his flashing gaze.
His eyes open again, and he smiles at you. âGood?â He flicks a look at the single bite youâve taken, looks at your mouth, and then waits for your reply.
âItâs fine,â you grumble. Then, âHow did you get here? I didnât hear the truck drive up. Do you live close by?â
âSometimes,â he says. He looks pleased that youâve asked, that youâre interested at all, and you immediately regret inquiring. âLive on a boat, me. Moored in the cove right now.â
âAâŚboat,â you say.
âAye.â A wisp of dark hair, something he must have missed when he gelled his mohawk this morning, flutters as he nods. âNice and cozy. Not as grand as all this, mind.â He gestures around with coffee and doughnut at the less than five hundred square feet of the cottage. âBut itâs still a sight nicer than some other places Iâve slept.â
Heâs likely hinting at his military service. âOkay,â is all you say, unwilling to entertain it.
He smirkâundeterred. âWeâll take her out once youâre ready.â
âI never said I was going.â
Dark brows lift. âGot somethinâ else planned for today?â he asks, incredulous, as if he never imagined you wouldnât want to hang out with him.
âNo, Iââ
You wrack your brain. You have no intention of explaining to this complete stranger that the last thing youâd wanted to do, when you booked this trip, was really anything at allâand in fact, you hadnât even considered that that might be something anyone else would care much about.
Much less proactively address.
âNo,â you repeat, sulking.
Johnny considers you, chewing. His eyes do not stray, this time, to places they donât belong; but thereâs an insight to them. A sharp awareness. A perception in his gaze that is just as undressing, as if whatever is going on with you is visible to the naked eye.
âI figure,â he says, slowly, as if to coax, âyou put your wee shoes on, anâ Iâll pack this back up, and we take it along.â
âYou donât have to do this,â you grouse. âI donât need you to, likeâbe my tour guide.â
âAye, but that doesnae mean I donât wanna,â he retorts, smiling.
He shoves the last bite of cruller in his mouth and gazes patiently at you as he works it with his jaw, the muscles flexing along his temples as he chews.
Exhaustion, your constant companion, stares you down alongside him. It would take so much more energy to fight him than to go along with whatever he has planned. Energy you just donât have anymore. And going along doesnât mean you have to pretend to enjoy yourselfâitâs not like you care enough about Johnnyâs self-esteem to conjure up a happy face to show him.
You can go, and be a bitch about it, and once you do maybe heâll realize youâre not at all worth the effort heâs making, and then finally leave you alone.
âFine,â you say, which is how you end up on a fishing trawler headed south toward, ostensibly, a colony of breeding seals.
Itâs an old vesselâthat much is obvious. Its edges and corners are dull with the passage of time and constant maintenance, scuffed by innumerable passes-over with cleaner and cloth. Mildew competes with the aroma of fresh varnish as Johnny leads you onto the bridge, which is mercifully closed in from the ocean wind.
The interior is mostly wood of a warm, orangish varietyâyou canât tell if thatâs a decision made with aesthetics or function in mind. The space comprises a kitchen, surprisingly well-appointed with a stove, sink, countertop, and fridge, and a small sitting area with both couch and booth seating. Surrounding windows allow in the grey light of the morning.
âBought it off an old bloke on Lewis,â Johnny says, taking his place at the wheel, which is in a little alcove off the kitchen.
If youâd thought steering a boat would have curtailed his chatting, youâd have been wrongâhe seems to have no trouble with that and talking, incessantly, at the same time, as he pulls the vessel away from the cove and into the open water.
âAll his family moved to the mainland, he told me, anâ this is after generations fishinâ these islands, even makinâ it through the Clearances! No money in it anymore, he said, not like you could make in some office somewhere countinâ someone elseâs money.â He checks something on the dashboard in front of him, but it doesnât distract him for long. âHeld on for a while, but people just kept leavin,â anâ he was gettinâ too old to go out on his own. Got such a good price on it, I think he was just happy someone else was gonna take up the tradition.â
âDid he sell you the cottage too?â you ask, and then dig your nails into your wrist for encouraging him.
âYup,â he says. âNo one else wanted it, but me? I saw somethinâ special about it.â
He turns to smile at youâno doubt pleased you made the connection. You avert your gaze.
âImagine someday Iâll have my own family here,â he continues. âGood place for it. Nice and slow, not like city living. Can hear yourself think out here. Perfect place to have a few wee ones.â
âIf people stop leaving,â you mutter.
He turns to you again. âIâm noâ worried about that,â he replies. Heâs still smiling. âYou came here, after all.â
You have nothing to say to that.
The trip is a short oneâJohnny brings the trawler alongside an island he informs you is called Mingulay, a square mile smaller than Vatersayâs tiny dot in the North Atlantic. Unlike the latter, he says, this island has not been inhabited since 1912, and has been completely reclaimed by the ocean and its wildlife.
After he drops anchor offshore, Johnny disappears down a steep flight of stairs below deck, which he had not offered a tour of, and emerges a short time later with a large, bulky coat.
âDidnât I tell you?â he says proudly, holding it out by the shoulders. âHere, turn âround.â
You pause in the middle of reaching for it. You donât know exactly why you complyâit occurs to you that if you grabbed for the jacket, he could simply not let go of it, and you would end up exactly where he wants you anyway. So you lower your arm and, resigned, give him your back.
He steps up behind you. Warmth pours off of him, more than you think any human body should be able to generate.
You hear him inhale, deeply, as he brings the jacket to your back. As you slide your arms into the sleeves, you feel his exhale on the nape of your neck, teasing through individual follicles of hair.
âThere wâgo,â he murmurs, much closer than you expected.
You can hear the low hum of his voice in his chest; his hands linger on your shoulders far longer than they need to, heavy, big enough that his index fingers brush along your collarbones.
When his hands make to slide down your back you step away from him and fumble to zip the jacket up; he chuckles lightly behind you. When you turn to face him, his lips are curledâsmug.
âAlright then,â he says. âLetâs get out there.â
He rows the two of you to shore in a small kayak, two pairs of binoculars in your lap as you huddle away from the wind. Youâll be walking to the haul-out, he saysâgetting too close to the breeding grounds, which he calls a rookery, would spook them, possibly causing a stampede.
âItâs grey seals weâre gonna see,â he explains as the two of you pick your way across the rocky landscape. âNot the biggest haul-out you could see, some colonies get into the thousands, but weâll have it all to ourselves.â
He insists on taking your elbow every time the two of you cross particularly uneven terrain, even though you donât need it. You think he takes your attempts to shake him off as proof of your lack of balance, because he grasps you all the tighter every time.
âIâm not a child, Johnny, I can walk on my own,â you finally snap at him.
âJust beinâ a gentleman, bonnie,â he replies nonchalantly. He does not let you go.
As you get closer, you hear the seals before you see them, and when their voices reach you across the open island, you stop dead.
Groaning, grunting, hissing in a cacophonous chorus. Some part of your hindbrain double-takes, reshuffles itselfâsome ancestral instinct always on the lookout for predation. If youâd been given a chance to guess what a colony of mating seals might have sounded like, youâre not sure you could have guessed what they sounded like.
Certainly not like what you hear nowâ
Like people.
Johnny grins at you when he notices. âAye, itâs a right ruckus, innit?â
He leads you up a small rise, where he has the two of you settle belly-down over the machair to overlook the wedge of rocky coast that the colony has claimed for its own.
And when you finally see itâitâs underwhelming.
Perhaps two hundred long, fat bodies, in varying shades of brown and grey, lay indolently along the rocks, in groups of three or four, some heavily galumphing from one place to another while others roll occasionally from side to side. The shifting winds catch their scent and blow it uncaringly into your face; you nearly gag at the admixture of dead fish and ammonia.
It doesnât escape you that this is a rare thing to witness; you are not wholly immune to the fact that you are only a hundred meters away from something most people only encounter on a screen. Itâs just that without a swell of awed music in the backdrop, or a narratorâs breathless wonder at the miracle of pinniped life, whatâs left for you to observe is a population of wet, stinking animals, shitting where they lay, vocalizing without cease while they laze about doing basically nothing.
Johnny does not seem to notice your disillusionment; he hands you one pair of binoculars, and directs your attention to activity along the shoreline. You follow to where heâs pointing; one larger seal is hassling a smaller one, which snarls at the aggressor as it thrashes around with its substantial bulk.
âLittle one thereââ Johnny says, âthatâs a female, probably obvious. Big one knows sheâs ready to mate, can smell it on her.â
The female bares her teeth and lunges at the bigger male, which flinches back but holds his ground.
âDoesnât look like she agrees,â you mutter.
âSheâs just givinâ him a hard time. Sheâs all in heat, see? Just makes her cranky,â Johnny says. You feel his eyes on you, and lower your binoculars to look at him. âSheâs got to fuss to feel all in control.â
You flush. âRight.â
âYou donât think so?â
âNo,â you say. âHeâsâheâs just bothering her.â
He gazes at you for a moment, contemplative. Corners of his mouth quirking upward. He does not reply for a long moment, long enough that you have to avert your gaze from his.
âNah,â he finally says, and you donât think youâre imagining the low, sultry note in his voice. âShe wants it bad as he does.â
You scowl, uncomfortably perceived, and return your binocularsâthe pair is still facing off, gurgling and growling at each other. The female is slim, almost sleek, unlike most of the other seals populating the rookery.
âIs she sick?â you ask.
âHm? Oh, no, sheâs alright. The mums lose a lot of weight when they nurse. Takes three weeks, and they donât eat in the meantime.â
âJesus.â
âBe nice if the dads ever brought âem a bite, aye?â Johnny agrees. âDeadbeats, the lot of them.â
The two of you survey the colony in silence for a moment. As the morning wears on, the cloud covering thins overhead, allowing cool sunlight to filter through. The temperature doesnât rise in response; begrudgingly, you tug Johnnyâs jacket a little tighter around you.
Then, suddenly, his hand lands on your back, between your shoulder blades.
âGot some pups over there,â he says. âLook, by the kelp.â
You find them; smaller bodies, white dinged with wet sand and dirt, lounge near their mothers or wriggle with aimless difficulty. Theyâre fluffy and round as plush toys, with shining black eyes and noses, and once Johnnyâs pointed them out you can differentiate the higher, sweeter pitch of their cries from the overall cacophony.
âSometimes,â Johnny murmurs, âsearch and rescueâll get called out because someone thought they heard a baby crying. Some kid stranded or lost, right? Turns out to be a baby seal.â
âThatâs kind of scary,â you say.
âAye,â says Johnny. âAlways makes me think thatâs where the old legends come from, about seal people or mermaids.â
A small ways away, some of the mothers lay with their pups far into the surf, letting the waves break over them. You watch as one mother thunks her large head overtop of her pupâs as the water rushes toward them; the pup wriggles, and then, as the wave engulfs them, it begins to thrash, whipping up a panicked froth.
âTime for swimming lessons already?â Johnny muses. âSeems early.â
Youâre horrified. âSheâs going to drown it!â
The hand still on your back pats you consolingly. âJust watch,â says Johnny.
The wave reaches as far up the shore as gravity allows, and then begins to recede. The pupâs thrashing calms as the air meets its face once again; the cow allows the pup to lift its head, and after a few sputters, the pup seems no worse for wear.
âTheyâre hardier than they look, bonnie,â Johnny says.
His hand, heavy and warm even over his borrowed jacket, slides down from your shoulders to your lower back, and then he rubs, slowly, side to side, as if to comfort youâbut the knobs of your spine contract at his touch.
âLast of the births this season, looks like,â he says. âMumâs getting ready to leaveâprobably not the only one.â
Something hard drops into your stomach.
âThey leave their babies?â you ask.
âAye. Once theyâre done nursing, they mate, and then they go.â
You look back at the other cows with their pups. One baby has its muzzle to its motherâs belly, quivering and suckling, while she lays with her head on a patch of grass. She looks uninterestedâmore, she looks disinterested. As if how voraciously her pup is nursing has nothing much to do with her, and sheâs bored of even having to think about it.
Boredâand already looking forward to the next part of her life without a baby in it.
âThatâs horrible,â you say.
âTheyâre solitary animals, bonnie,â Johnny says, not ungently. âThe only time theyâre really all together is for this.â
A line tightens between your stomach and throat, and you feel it start to build between your ribs. A tremorâforeshocks. The wind picks up, bringing a sharp chill off the ocean and up the rise that cuts into your stinging eyes, abrades the naked skin of your hands and the exposed part of your neck.
When you look through your binoculars again, you wonder how many of the pups you see have already been abandoned.
âAw, bonnie,â Johnny says. Thereâs a kind of pity in his voice that has your hackles raising.
âI want to leave,â you say, yanking away from his touch and shuffling down the incline. âTake me back to the cottage.â
âBonnie, itâs okay!â Johnny protests, rolling to his back to look at you as you stand. âThe pups make it, they figure out how to fend for themselves.â
You glare at him, vision blurring. âAll of them?â
Some part of you knows youâre being irrationalâknows that nature is a cruel home, and that many children face worse fates than the seal pups. Abandoning the young, the needy, is no aberration; it is, in fact, far more the standard than the human practice, which lingers for decadesâ
Most of the time.
Johnny has no response. He holds your angry gaze, brows drawn low, mouth pressed into a thin line. Itâs the first time that cocky aura, which seems to rest in every fine line on his face and every angle at which he holds his body, is completely absent.
He isnât reflecting your anger back at you, thoughâheâs internalizing it. Letting it hit him, you think, and trying to use it to figure you out.
You do not want to be figured out.
You scoff again. âTake me back,â you repeat, and then you start walking in the direction you came, without waiting for him to follow.
Johnny drops you off in the cove, and thankfully does not linger this time before he departsâhe bids you farewell after rowing you to shore, contemplation on his face, and then leaves you to yourself.
You retreat, seeking the cottageâs empty quiet.
As you perch on the couch you listen to the radiator humâthe wind blow over the reeds in the thatch roofâyour own heart beating a drum in the arteries of your neck.
Percussive. Quick and hard. Like heavy knockers on a door. Pounding as if to burst through.
You realize youâre still wearing Johnnyâs jacket, and you throw it off, disgusted with yourself. You get up and pace, and try to ignore it lying in a heap on the floor.
You do something you swore you wouldnât do the moment you set foot on the islandâyou turn your phone back on.
True to Johnnyâs word, thereâs no signal. You picked this island, this part of the world, for a reason; for the past several years, a slow exodus from the British isles has vacated the need for dedicated cell towers or satellite or internet access, especially given that the only ones who remain are too old now to want it or need it or know how to use it.
Itâs isolated. Cut off. Left behind by anyone with better options, and only clung to by those trying to preserve the only way of life they know.
Some kinder part of you belongs with that demographic; the part that was telling your mother the truth, before getting on the plane.
The rest of you holds your phone up and starts walking around.
In the furthest corner in the bedroom, you find a single bar of signal. A tiny chip of connectivityâa thin, frayed thread. Something you lied to yourself about cutting.
Itâs a weak connection. Unstable. It could take a whileâyou stand there, waiting.
The screen dims. You tap it again.
Blank.
You unlock it, look through your apps. Wonder if maybe your notifications are bugged by your new SIM card.
Nothingâ
No one.
You whip around and, with a cry, pitch the thing at the far wallâit hits the stone with a crunch, falling to the floor in pieces.
Youâre out of the cottage then in a mad dash, door slamming behind you, driving yourself back into the wind. Far awayâyou want to be far away, far from everything, so far that nothing could possibly reach you. You trudge down the path toward the beach, banding your arms across your chest, shivering in the cold, and yet you hardly feel it.
Not worth it. No point. Waste of your time. Energy. All of it. Stop trying. Stop wanting. Nothing. Nothing. You want nothing.
Youâre halfway down to the shore, not really knowing what youâre going to do when you get there, when you catch sight of a body on the sand.
You gasp, a sharp breath down your larynx, and freeze in a dead halt.
The body is completely still.
A swimmer? A diver? Itâs dark, like it just pulled itself out of the oceanâor washed upâ
Then, it moves. A twitch, a ripple across its bulk, and your chest rapidly decompresses.
A seal. Itâs a large seal, lounging alone on the beach.
You stand motionless. Youâre very closeâmuch closer than you and Johnny had been at the rookery. You hadnât contended with the sheer size of the animals, tucked safely up and away from them, but there is no illusion of distance now.
Itâs the biggest one youâve seen today, youâre sure of it. Bigger, you think, than most adult men. Its pelt is a riot of every shade of grey, splashy, like liquid paint thrown across a canvas. Black speckles scatter overtop of marbled white and cool slate, and down the center of its back is a broad, dark line, soft at the edges, which reaches all the way up to the top of the sealâs head.
The bullâit must be maleâturns over. It lifts its head, and opens its eyesâ
Fear suddenly zips up your spine as it looks right at you.
You stumble backward and trip on your own feet, landing hard on your ass. Johnnyâs care with keeping enough distance from the colony rushes back to you, along with the warring coupleâs bared teeth.
They canât move that fast on land, right? They arenât interested in people, right?
You scramble backward. Itâs so much bigger than you ever would have imagined. If it got to youâthrew itself over youâit could crush you with its weight aloneâ
The bull watches you placidly. Unperturbed.
You pause.
Its small eyes are dark and glossyâwatchful and focused. The whiskers on its muzzle twitch a little as it takes you in. It breathes, deeply and evenly, huge body expanding and contracting at a slow, calm tempo. Itsâhisânostrils flex, widening and narrowing, as he blinks docilely.
Unafraid.
If anythingâcurious.
Then he snorts, and wriggles in place. It startles a laugh out of you, more reaction than humor. Still watching you, the bull lowers his head back down, resting it again on the sand.
Your heartbeat abates. He doesnât move againânor does his attention leave you. Slowly, you sit up.
Wary. No sudden movements.
He doesnât react; only continues to watch you.
You draw your knees up. Wrap your arms around your shins, and dust a bit of sand from your leggings. Rest your chin in the crevice between your knees.
Thereâs an intelligence in the bullâs eyes that is fathoms deep. There is a massive gulf between his experience of the world and yours, millennia of evolution separating your species from hisâand yetâŚas you hold his gaze, you recognize the look in it.
Him, seeing you. And seeing you see him. The pendulum swinging between awareness of each other, and recognition of that shared awareness.
An empty space in the cloud cover passes overhead; sunlight touches the earth, warms it briefly before disappearing again. You wonder a little why this bull isnât with the other seals.
Johnny would probably know.
âI didnât come for you, you know,â you grumble at him.
The seal blinks. Awareness notwithstanding, you donât share any language.
You sigh. âI guess you didnât come to see me either,â you say.
But you donât move away.
And you stay like that for a long while, you and heâregarding each other as the wind breathes out across the shore.
next chapter early access
a/n: follow for more seal factsâ˘
Also huge thanks to Lev for trawler listings/info. Didn't explore it much this chapter but Soap's boat will show up more soon :)
Johnny "Soap" Mactavish is the kind of dad who throws your kids around for fun, tossing them into the air and catching them just to hear their infectious laughter, ignoring the worrisome protests that you call out from the kitchen when they get a little too high.
Captain John Price is the kind of dad who convinces your children to ask you for pizza for dinner, acting all surprised when you tell him to call the local pizza place, eyebrows rising with "What's the occasion?" despite the obvious grin that his plan worked. You aren't fooled.
Kyle "Gaz" Garrick is the kind of dad who chases your kids around with a nerf gun, relentlessly pelting them with styrofoam bullets and ganging up on your oldest son with your youngest daughter. Waits behind the front door for your son to get home from school and immediately fires on him.
Simon "Ghost" Riley is the kind of dad who holds your toddlers like footballs, your daughter tucked sideways under his arm and dangling your son by his ankle. "Found these mice sniffin' 'round the cookie tin." He says with a deadpan expression, but you don't miss the way his mouth twitches when they giggle and shriek.
MDNI 21 // she // black // arcane // cod // this is where I keep my junk,
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