This Is Perfect.

Part Two of Simon Riley meeting a single mom at the park and going "that one, I want that one."

As much as Simon feels the persistent gnaw of want, he can’t pinpoint exactly why it’s there, and as the days since he met you drag on, he can’t figure out which is more frustrating — the wanting itself, or the fact that the reason behind it keeps eluding him.

Maybe it’s some biological impulse, that’s one thing he considers. Maybe it’s just a primal impulse drudged up by the sight of your belly and the helpless fear he’d heard in your voice that day. His rotten genes kicking around inside him, whispering to him that they want out.

Or it could be that you look like exactly the type he tends to go for when he allows himself the little indulgence of a pretty woman’s company. Present state aside, that is.

Regardless, he finds himself walking by the park nearly every day, scanning the area just in case he sees you or your little boy there again. He doubts he'd approach you again even if he did cross your path a second time, but even so, his aimless walks don't seem quite so aimless anymore.

It's not until one day, a few weeks after that first time, that he sees your somehow familiar form standing by one of the picnic tables. He'd thought you looked fit to burst the first time he saw you, but now you were somehow bigger still. Even from a distance, he can make out the sweat on your face, the wet bits of hair sticking to your forehead that show your overexertion, as if your rundown expression doesn't give it away.

You look absolutely miserable, and Simon pushes down whatever odd little instinct it is that makes him think about how much he'd like to kiss it all better.

Close by, safe on the ground this time, is your son, Charlie. He darts around the grass by the table while you unload a bag with snacks and drinks, your eyes firmly trained on him while you do it.

Simon walks slowly, trying to decide if it would be better to turn and go back the other way or to walk by as if he doesn't notice you -- he shouldn't notice you. If he did recognize you, it should only be in passing, a brief flicker of recognition that quickly passes, not ... whatever this is.

A small part of him, one that he'd never let see the light of day, considers the idea of approaching you.

The choice is taken away from him when Charlie spots him while doing spins in the grass. The little boy lets out a squeal, pointing directly at him, and begins bounding over.

"Charlie, for the love of --"

Then you look up and see him, and he can't be sure from the distance, but he thinks he sees the flicker of a smile.

He notices how you let yourself take your time a bit as you amble towards him, a small rush of pride going through him that you're not panicking over your child's safety as he runs in his direction. Charlie reaches him first, and he has to tilt his head nearly to his shoulders to look up at him.

"You were on the slide before."

"I was."

"You're too big for the slide."

"Wasn't there to slide."

By that point, you'd manage to waddle your way over, your hand going to rest on Charlie's shoulder as you look to Simon. You greet him, a quick "Hi," then look back down to your son.

"Let's not bother strangers, ok? Come on, we have a picnic."

"He's not a stranger," Charlie argues. "He was on the slide."

If Simon wasn't trying to keep his eyes off the drop of sweat that was trailing down by your collarbone, he would have taken a moment to properly appreciate the simplicity of the argument.

"Sorry," you say softly, glancing up at Simon again. "He's a friendly little thing."

"Quite all right."

"You want juice?"

He can't help but let out a chuckle at the kid's question -- he's never been much of a talker, and it seems like you might not be much of one either, but someone's putting in some effort.

"Mum made crackers too," Charlie adds. "You want some crackers?"

"I'm sure this man has more important things to do than have crackers and juice with us, don't you think?" you say.

But he doesn't. At this moment, he feels like he's never had anything more important to do.

There are a few more precocious little invites, along with some puppy dog eyes, and before he knows it, Simon is being led through a stretch of grass to a picnic table with you and your son.

The conversation is ... not great, honestly. You're either shy or guarded, maybe both, and Charlie isn't quite old enough to spark any kind of intelligent discussion. But he does enjoy the juice box the boy insists he takes, and he likes the strange warmth that spreads through his chest at the sight of you across from him at the table even more.

"Come watch me swing," Charlie demands after a bit. You shrug, apparently content with letting the child run the show at this point, and Simon lets out another deep chuckle, standing and hesitantly following you both to the swingset.

"Thanks for humoring him," you tell him quietly as you push your son on the swing.

"Not at all," he replies. "He's ..."

He trails off, not sure what he was even planning on saying. Sweet? Funny? They don't feel like words he'd use, but this doesn't even feel like an interaction he'd have. It's all new territory for him.

Thankfully, you don't seem miffed by his short responses, or by the silence that follows. You just stand there, one hand pushing Charlie while the other rests low on your belly, while he stands further back, watching.

And there it is again. The wanting. Brutal and undeniable.

“When’s the little one due?”

The question comes out low and gruff, as if it clawed its way out of his throat on his own, which it may have, because he rarely willingly engages in small talk like this.

"Couple of weeks," you answer.

Charlie breaks the next stretch of silence by instructing Simon to watch him kick his legs to swing even higher, which he does. After he gives him what he hopes sounds like a hum of approval, his eyes move back to you, watching the way your hand moves to rest on your hip, your fingers pressing towards the small of your back as if you're trying to keep yourself propped up.

"Kid seems like a bit of a handful to keep up with all by yourself," he murmurs. "Presently, anyway."

It's not his business, but you don't seem to mind because you reply again, eyes still on Charlie.

"He's been ... well, I think he's a little nervous, about the new baby," you explain. "So I've been trying to make these last few weeks of just us special."

You don't talk much, he's coming to understand that, but he doesn't either, so he knows how much can be said in the spaces between. He stays quiet for a moment, taking a pause to watch another one of Charlie's tricks.

"'Just us'?" he asks. "And what about that husband who was supposed to come to the rescue last time?"

"I lied so you'd think twice about kidnapping us."

Simon chuckles at the blunt response, and says, "Decided you're not in danger now, have you?"

"More like I've decided that if you kidnap us after we gave you juice and crackers, you're a monster and we never stood a chance anyway."

You glance up at him then, the first time you've looked at him since the party moved to the swings, and you smile. It's more playful than flirty, but it's for him, and he finds himself smiling back.

Simon doesn't do this. When he's home, he doesn't really talk to people. There's a quick exchange with a cashier or a bartender, or the occasional mutually distant transaction with a woman who wants the same quick release that he does. Some days are so bad that he'll spend more time than he cares to admit considering whether he wants to wear a mask out -- if he wants to just blend in as much as he can like he usually does, all dark clothing and hunched shoulders, or if he wants to risk attracting a bit more attention by wearing the mask since even so, it'll ensure that no one can see his face.

But here he is, for a reason that he still can't quite pinpoint, smiling at a pregnant lady in a park and watching her little boy play.

It doesn't make sense, but it doesn't feel bad either. So he doesn't stop.

It was late afternoon when Charlie first approached him, and now the sun is getting lower in the sky. You reach a hand up to pull on the chain of the swing, slowing the boy down, and tell him it’s time to go.

He whines for just a moment before obediently dragging his feet to stop the swing, standing up. Before Simon can process it, he comes up to him and wraps his arms around his legs.

“Thanks for playing,” he says before running back off towards the table where you’d left your things.

He helps you gather everything, walking the empty juice boxes over to the trash can so you don’t have to move any more than necessary. When you’re all ready to go, he watches you take Charlie’s hand and offer him another smile.

“See you around,” you tell him before turning and walking off towards the sidewalk.

He tries to think of something clever to say, then he kicks himself for wanting to say something clever, and before he can get out of his own head, you’re already halfway down the sidewalk. And, he notices, you happen to be headed in the direction of his own apartment.

Something in him wants to catch up with you, to say that he’s headed the same way, which wouldn’t be a lie. It’s the same part of him that made him a good soldier — the part that sees an opportunity to go in for the kill.

But the part of him that makes him a good leader stays put. The timing isn't right, and he doesn't want to take a chance on a half-cocked impulse, especially when he still hasn't even figured out what it is that's pulling him to you.

So he walks. He goes the opposite way, away from home, away from you, deeper into town. He walks past the shops as they start closing for the night, the pubs as they get more lively. He walks until he's sure that you and Charlie made your way to wherever you were headed, and only then does he make his way back to his apartment.

It's as dull there as ever, the overhead light flickering when he turns it on and walks inside. He hears the familiar creaking of his cheap old couch as it sinks under his weight when he sits, sees the white expanse of the walls, no pictures or paintings or whatever else people put up to make a house feel warmer than this.

But tonight, it's not quite so bleak. There's the faintest taste of apple juice lingering on his tongue, a sweetness he's not accustomed to, and he can still feel a bit of warmth on his face from being in the sun so long.

He wants more of it. He still doesn't know the ins and outs of it all, but he's ready to accept that it exists. And he's ready to start strategizing on how exactly he can get it.

ok reverse the TROPE !!!!!! sugar-mommy!f!reader x retired!simon <333 (18+)

he got discharged on a medical injury. his knee flares up now, phantom pains that shoot up his leg and pinch his spine. he feels like a failure--a lieutenant in his prime, and now he has to acclimate to civilian life and grit his teeth instead of drown the voices in his head out with gunfire.

he's been deployed as much as he could be just to stay away from this kind of place. so he didn't have to get on a train, or take the tube. so he didn't have to think about looking over his shoulder in the shops or learn how to pay a wifi bill. he hates going to the doctor's office, and he hates learning how to properly open his bank account, just to learn that there's nearly nothing in it.

the numbers just dwindle before his very eyes. the rent is too high, even in his shitty studio. when did cable cost that much? why can't he go to the pub for just a few pounds anymore? where is the compensation for giving more than a decade of his life in service of his country just to have to wait in fucking lines to get his medication and argue over the phone about where all his fucking money went.

maybe he never had any. maybe it's all lost somewhere. he'd ask his former captain, but he's halfway across the world, and over his dead body would he hold a hand out and ask for charity when he's 36 years old.

"don't get that one."

simon turns his head, a snarl caught in his throat. there's a pretty thing standing beside him, also staring at the array of ramen packages in focus. you take the orange package out of his hand and put it back on the shelf before reaching for a different package. it's got japanese characters on it, so he can't read the label, but you smile up at him.

"this one is way better. good price for it, too."

"'s more expensive."

"yeah, but you get eight packets in this one. that one only gives you five."

at the till, you notice him subtly counting the notes in his wallet. you pretend not to notice, rocking back and forth on your heels, but just as he picks up his bag to leave, you speak up.

"you wanna get a drink? on me."

and fuck, he could use a bourbon. on the first one, he thought your presence was pleasantly tolerable. by the fourth, he's staring down your shirt, dark eyes mapping out what the curves of your breasts might look like in the palm of his big hand. by the sixth, you're pressed up against a sticky bathroom wall and holding on for dear life as he pounds into you from behind, knickers in his back pocket, manicured nails digging slits into his tattooed forearm.

you sink those claws in that night; and you do not let go.

the third night you ask him out, he sees your flat for the first time. in a nice building downtown, doorman holding the door open for you. the elevator ride is long enough for him to see the tops of buildings, and when you step inside your flat, he swallows hard when he realizes you are way out of his league.

gorgeous leather seats and couch. large tv with surround sound. a french kitchen with a gas stove. your flat is filled with knickknacks and candles, low yellow lights and wonderful collections of art and little glass vases and sculptures. your home is filled with warmth, and you don't belong with him.

just as he thinks about backing out of the place, you turn and grip the lapels of his jacket, tugging him closer. you touch your nose to his over his mask, smiling, and you push the door closed behind him and press him up against it.

"so, which room do you wanna christen first? i thought we could start in the kitchen."

you're a woman that knows what she wants, he'll give you that; and he doesn't have it in him to say no.

the sun wakes him up in the morning. he doesn't remember falling asleep--he doesn't like to make staying over a habit. when he sits up on his elbows, he takes a deep breath, realizing his back hurts a lot less. the mattress of your bed is wonderful, much more supportive than the flat mess he has on the floor in his own place, and he blinks himself awake when you come out of the bathroom.

you're freshly dressed, makeup on, and you're putting on your jewelry when you see him. you smile at him, coming towards the bed, and you bend down to kiss where his mouth would be under the mask.

"good morning, simon. sleep well?"

"mmm..."

you take that as a yes, cupping his jaw, and you kiss him over his mask again before going to get some shoes from your closet. he doesn't comment on the fact that when you open it, he realizes the closet there is only for shoes...

"you hungry, baby? want some breakfast?"

"i--oh..." simon lays back down when his back tweaks, and you reach for him when you see him fall back in the mirror. you smooth a hand down the side of his body, frowning.

"why don't you stay in bed? i'll have my assistant bring you something."

"no, tha's--"

"i'm not asking, simon, i'm telling you," you coo. you pick up one of his hands and trace one of his scars with your finger. you have long, almond-shaped nails. there's pretty chrome nail art over the wine red color you wear, and he focuses on it as you kiss his knuckles gently. "will you wait for me to come home?"

"where y'goin'?"

"gotta work, honey," you wink down at him. "and i want you to be here when i get back."

"tha' so?"

"mhm," you smile. "right here. in my bed--" you lift the covers a little and peek, giggling as you put it back down after getting a glimpse at his cock resting against his lower stomach. "just like this, simon."

he doesn't remember if he ever goes back to his flat. he thinks he went one more time, to grab a few bottles of his medication, but the tick in his knee hadn't been so bad with the great physical therapy you started paying for and the warm massages you gave him every night.

and his back--your bed always contours perfectly against the muscles of his back, and he finds himself sleeping a full seven hours every single night.

not to mention his new work outs. simon hadn't been to the gym much since coming home, but he knows he must be burning hundreds of calories with you. you test his limits. as soon as you're home, you jump on him, and the stress relief your pussy brings him is just what he needs to get the edge off. you're a fiend, especially after a rough day, and the way you bounce on his cock in every room of your flat keeps him up at night sometimes with the most glorious wet dreams.

you're up late that night. you're curled up on the couch in one of simon's shirts and a glass of red wine, and there's a mountain of papers around you that you're focusing on reading. you have a huge presentation tomorrow, and everything needs to be perfect. simon comes into the living room, shirtless, and you smile when you see him standing there. he's wearing the new sweats you got him, but you can't focus on that too much when you're staring at his pudgy, toned stomach and his nice pecs. you bite your lip, taking a long sip of your wine, and simon hikes up his mask to take a bite out of his bowl of ice cream.

"gonna be up late tonight?" he asks, and you nod. "want me to sit with ya?" you nod again, lifting up your legs, and when he takes a seat next to you, you drape them across his lap. you lean over to give his scarred cheek a kiss, and when you turn back to your paperwork, a thought comes across your mind.

"we should get married," you say softly, circling a note over something. simon keeps eating, as if what you said doesn't phase him.

"why's tha', love?"

"tax benefits."

"mmm..." simon drops one of his hands and thumbs against your ankle. the flat is warm. his stomach is full. his body hurts less, and his heart aches with something nice. "olright then."

you smile.

"good. cause i already bought the ring."

you get paid less than the value you produce. if you didn't, there would be no profit for the business. the capitalist takes a portion of your earnings because they have they have the privilege of privately owning resources, which they use to exploit others. the economy could be owned collectively and all the value you produce could go to our collective wellbeing instead of making some layabout richer. it's really that simple

He’s Just Not That Into You

pairing:  jordan li x reader

summary: a hopeless romantic, you keep looking for love in all the wrong places, with all the wrong guys. that is, until you meet jordan li, who takes pity on you and tries to help you learn when a guy just isn’t into you.

gif credit: artemidosgifs

“You good?”

"Huh?" Dazed and drifting, you look up from your incredibly important task of peeling off the label for the worst tasting artisanal beer ever created.

You quickly remember why you focused on the task in the first place. The lighting at this party sucks. It's mostly dim, to try and hide all the unsavory things happening in every corner of the house. The brightest bits of it are all flashing. Neon blue. Neon red. Neon green. As if anyone has ever looked good in neon green lighting. That plus the never-ending movement of people dancing is enough to make you sick.

"Are you good or are you starting to tweak?" Your eyes adjust enough to see who's talking and you sit up straighter. Jordan Li. Number #2.

She's wearing her ever present scowl that makes you study extra hard in Brink's class. You don't ever want to be in the position to have to ask for clarification on an assignment or further guidance. Brink's so busy being renowned that he's a pretty absent teacher, if you're not one of his favorites. Everything menial falls to Jordan.

"I'm good! Totally good. Just vibing, y'know."

Jordan stares down at you, looks back out onto the sea of partygoers, "What vibe do you think you're matching?"

“Excuse me?”

"You've been sitting here for almost twenty minutes. You've barely moved. Did you take something?"

"No! I.... I didn't take anything. I'm just enjoying the atmosphere."

Jordan rolls her eyes, takes the beer bottle from your hand, and then takes your hand itself. She pulls you to your feet, easy, despite the way you go limp at the last second to try and stay seated. Without a word she begins to pull you through the crowd. Bewildered, you follow.

She doesn't stop till you're outside on the porch. Surprisingly, no one else is lingering. But the air has a chill that's pretty biting for an early day in fall. You take a deep breath. You hadn't realized how loud the music really was. How overwhelming every smell. The itch that crawled across your skin with each jostle of a body coming too near.

"Yeah, you look like you were really enjoying the atmosphere." Jordan drawls, leaned up against the railing, observing you.

Your first instinct was to say 'fuck you' to that, obviously. But at the last second you remember she is your TA and is probably doing all the actual grading for every assignment you turn in.

You force a smile, "Thank you. Guess I was feeling pretty anxious."

"What are you even doing here?"

"Should... I mean, I was... invited? If that's what you're asking. Although I think crashing parties is pretty typical college stuff, even if I wasn't-" 

“Not what I meant.” Jordan interrupts, “I mean you don’t usually go to parties. I never see you at any of them.”

“Maybe we just run in different circles.”

“Not really. You’re in the top ten now. What did you jump to, number 6?”

“Seven, actually.”

“Really? Well, won’t be long. Number 6 is a dick. He’ll be easy to knock out with the type of stats you’re pulling this year.” 

Somehow, this compliment bewilders you more than anything. Jordan must see it on your face, because she rolls her eyes again. 

“I keep an eye on the competition. Even if you are just a sophomore.”

“Okay, Junior.” You narrow your eyes at her. She narrows hers back, which feels like overkill, because she was already glaring. 

“So, what are you doing here?” 

“Did they hire you to be the bouncer for this party?” 

“Jesus, ‘m just making conversation. You looked like you were gonna hurl in there. What? Did your friends drag you here then ditch you?” 

“My friends would never do that. That violates the party safety rule. Arrive together, leave together.”

“Oh of course.” She says, nodding in a way that feels sarcastic. 

“I actually came without my friends.” You say, standing up straighter. Proud of yourself for stepping out of your shell even if it ended on a sour note. 

“You did?” Jordan raises an eyebrow. You deflate a little at the shocked tone. Even your TA thinks you’re lame. 

“Well…. I was supposed to meet someone here. But they… I dunno, I must’ve missed them. Or whatever.”

“Who were you supposed to meet?” 

You hesitate for a second, but they impatiently gesture for you to go on. So, begrudgingly you admit to, “Uuuuh… Andre?” 

“Andre?” In the blink of an eye they shift, and take a step closer. As if he wants you to see the disbelief on his face as clearly as possible. “How do you know Andre?” 

“What happened to we run in the same circle?” You snap back. “Andre’s top ten.” 

“Andre’s a fucking nepo baby.” Jordan scoffs

“Aren’t you friends?” You frown.

“Andre barely shows up to class, he knows why he’s top ten, trust me.” Jordan says. “Andre invited you?”

“Yes, Andre invited me. We were at the club last week and you know…talked.”

“You were at the club? You’re changing it up like crazy this year, huh L/N?”

“Lot of good it’s doing me.” You sigh. You twist the sleeve of your top, wrinkling the fabric. You’d spent hours picking out the perfect outfit that looked like you weren’t trying too hard, but brought out all your best features.

Jordan’s face twists, you’d almost mistake it for sympathy, “Did you see Andre at all tonight?”  

“Did he come here with you?” 

“Would you like me to lie or tell you the truth?” 

You sigh, moving to sit down on the porch steps, emotionally and socially exhausted. “It’s okay, I already know the answer.”

A moment of silence before Jordan moves to sit beside you. He offers back up the beer he took from you earlier, “You look like you could use a drink.” 

“Eh, you have it. If you’re not a germaphobe. Thanks for rescuing me.”

Jordan shrugs, takes a sip and almost spits it right back out, “God it tastes like fucking piss.” 

“You weren’t very nice to me during the rescue, so you didn’t deserve a warning.” 

“Well fuck me, I guess.” He laughs, staring at you. He let’s out a sigh of his own, “So which line did he use?” 

“Huh?”

“What did Andre say to you?” 

“He didn’t use a line.” You protest. 

“Andre doesn’t know how to do anything but use a line. Wait! Lemme guess,” Jordan looks you up and down before glancing at a few rings on your hand. “Were you wearing those?” 

You stare back at him. 

“Well?”

“Yes, I was, why?” 

“Did he come up to you with one of them and ask if you dropped it?” 

“.....Maybe. I repeat, why?” You ask, stomach twisting.

“Cause he slipped it off your finger with his powers so he’d have an opening. It’s his go to for girls that look shy. Seen it a million times.” 

“Oh, well, that’s lovely, actually. Fuck me!” You groan, laying back against the steps and throwing your hands over your face. “You’re really good at comforting people, did you know that?” 

“I’ve been told to work on it.” 

“Clearly not enough.” 

“Just didn’t want you to fall for the bullshit any more than you already have.” 

You scrub your face harshly, trying to ignore the tightness in your throat. “Sorry. Do you like apples? I can put a nice shiny one on your desk Monday morning as a thank you for the solid.” 

“Are you about to cry?” Jordan asks, bewildered.

“No.” 

“Over Andre Anderson?”

“No!” You sit up, glaring at him. He glares back. “Not exactly. It’s just… I don’t put myself out there a lot. So it sucks. That I tried… and all I got was a guy who fed me a line he’s used a million different times on a million different girls, who then ditched me at a party he invited me to. I should’ve just fucking stayed home.” 

You sniffle and then remember who you’re actually talking to and how awkward it’s going to be to see their face Monday morning for class if you keep spilling your guts. You stand up abruptly, already planning on apologizing for whatever you said while you were “drunk” tonight. You’re opening your mouth to make your excuses, already taking steps away from the stairs when Jordan reaches out, grabbing you gently by the wrist. 

“Wait! I’m… sorry, I mean-”

“Why are you sorry?” You sniff, “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I could’ve… I could’ve been nicer. About telling you. About Andre.” Jordan pulls you to sitting back down beside him, slowly, so you can pull away if you really wanted to. 

“It’s okay. I should’ve known better.” You say quietly. 

“Hey, no. I made it sound like he’s super obvious about it but he’s honestly pretty smooth. His only hobbies are picking up girls and cocaine. He could make… fucking, I dunno, Ellen Ripley blush if he had the prep time! It’s really not your fault.” The comment surprises a wet laugh out of you and Jordan smiles, bumping your shoulders together. 

“Thanks, but he probably was obvious. I just… don’t see stuff like that coming very well.” You laugh bitterly.

“What do you mean?” 

“I apparently just can’t tell for shit when a guy is actually into me! Or just… entertaining himself.” You sigh. 

You and Jordan sit in silence for a second. You have no clue what’s going on in his head. You see him tapping his finger on the beer bottle, the sound of his rings the only noise for a moment. 

“I could help you.”

“Help me what?”

“I could teach you how to spot when a guy is just being an asshole or when he’s serious about you. So this doesn’t happen again.” Jordan shrugs, taking another swallow of the beer, flinching again at the taste. 

“Piss kink or short term memory loss?” 

“Offer retracted.” Jordan laughs.

“Why are you offering in the first place?” 

Jordan shrugs, looking out in the distance, “You’re… cool, y’know. Think of it as a welcome to the top ten gift. You’re only gonna get more and more attention now that you’re there. You’ll need to be able to sniff out bullshit or you’ll get eaten alive. No offense.”

“I’ve been in the top ten for the last six months.” You scowl. 

“Mazel tov.” 

“Dick.” You scoff, fighting back another laugh. You and Jordan make eye contact and both lose the battle, laughing together. 

You take a deep breath once the fit passes, “This isn’t a top ten humiliation ritual of initiation thing, right?”

“I’m way too busy to waste my time doing stupid shit like that.” Jordan says, familiar glare falling back onto his face.

“Sorry, rough night, had to ask.” You say sheepishly. “Offer still open?” You smile, extending your hand out for a handshake.

“Yeah, offers still open, L/N.” Jordan rolls his eyes, but he does shake your hand.

“So, number’s one pretty obvious but we have to establish the basics because you told me you were hopeless.” Jordan sips her chocolate milkshake. 

“Didn’t use the word hopeless, but sure.” You mutter, tossing a fry into your mouth and frowning at the lack of flavor. “Hit me.”

“If he calls off plans with you all the time he’s not interested. If he doesn’t give you as much heads up as humanly possible before he has to cancel a plan or bail then he might actually hate you.” 

“You’re exaggerating.” You scoff, shaking extra salt onto your fries.

Jordan reaches over, stealing one of your now delicious fries to dip it into her milkshake. “It’s a type of power play. Too many reasons to name why a guy might feel the need to pull something like that but we don’t wanna get too complicated. All you need to do is memorize the red flags and run when you see them.” 

“Okay…. follow up question, what would you consider to be ‘all the time’?”

“If you just started seeing each other and he cancels two dates in a row without desperately trying to make it up to you he doesn’t give a shit.” Jordan steals and dips another of your fries. 

“What about emergencies? Like… I dunno, a funeral? What if his Aunt died? So he cancels that one date. Then the next one he tries to plan his car breaks down or something, you know?” 

“He should call an uber and get to the fucking location of the date come hell or high water. That’s what a guy who likes you is gonna do. Don’t over complicate, L/N.”

“Oh and you don’t think you’re over-complicating the process of eating my fries?” You smack at her hand as it reaches for your plate for the umpteenth time during this lunch. “You could have ordered fries. Why didn’t you order fries?”

“Didn’t want any until I saw yours.” She tries again but you see the movement coming and block her hand, again. You did not notice the second, slightly sneakier hand that does successfully carry out the theft. 

“Did you just juke me over a fry? 

“Yeah, and I won.” 

You toss a fry at her and laugh when she manages to catch it with her mouth. Asshole.

You sit on the corner of Jordan’s desk, watching as he finishes up some last minute work that Brink asked him to do before heading out. You’d offered to meet back up later but he just shook his head and said it wouldn’t take long.

“What if he’s just a private person?” You ask, kicking your feet lightly. 

Jordan looks up from his laptop and frowns at you, “Why are you trying to invent exceptions to the rules? The rules are there to help you. Can you say that for me, L/N? Can you say the rules are there to help me?” 

“The rules are there to help me.” You repeat back, mocking their tone. 

“Thank you.” Jordan smirks at you, “Like I said, if he’s hiding your relationship from the world then he’s not serious about you. He should be introducing you to people. You should be on his social media. People should not be shocked you exist when meeting you. All that bullshit.” 

“And if they’re a private person?” You challenge.

Jordan pushes away his laptop, turning to face you. “Fuck me. The types of guys you’re gonna be around as a hero are all gonna be doing the same stuff as you. There’s gonna be a certain level of our life that’s always in the spotlight. Minimum of two posts a week if he’s constantly posting in general.” 

“I don’t post very much.” You counter.

“You should be posting more. Especially as a top ten. There’s no reason you shouldn’t be number 6 right now. You need to be more active on socials.” Jordan gives you a look before going back to typing. Two weeks ago that look would have put you on the verge of tears. Now you roll your eyes.

“I’ll think about it.” 

“It was an order as your TA, actually.” 

“Oh god, an order? I’m shaking in my boots.” You tease, playfully kicking his chair. 

“That just knocked your essay from a B- to a C, congratulations.” Jordan quips. 

“You were gonna mark my essay a B-, you dick? You know damn well I don’t turn in B- work. Who do you think-”

The rest of the afternoon is lost to playful outrage. The papers get graded late. Yours comes back an A+. No one besides you has gotten a grade of + anything since Jordan became TA. 

“Okay, so this is one with a grey area.” Jordan says.

“Oh no.”

“Shut up. If he never gets jealous that’s a red flag.” 

“But-” You sit up from where you’re laid out on the blanket you threw on the ground to better soak in the last warm rays of September sun. 

“I am not saying go out with some overly possessive fucking maniac.” Jordan cuts you off. 

“Be specific, Jordan. You can’t give me rules with built in exceptions. I’ll fail. Is that what you want? You want me to fail, Jordan? That’s messed up-”

“Shut up-” Jordan laughs, shaking her head. “Listen to me, if a guy never gets jealous he just doesn’t care at all. The most namaste, enlightened dude on the planet will get jealous in the right situation. I’m not saying tolerate anything crazy. It’s just good if he like… responds, when you say you’re going to study alone with another dude at 9pm, in the guy’s dorm... while his roommate is gone.”

“Is studying alone with another dude, in his dorm while his roommate is gone, okay as long as it ends before 9pm?”

Jordan rips out grass from the ground and tries to sprinkle it onto your face. You put up a force-field and laugh when she sticks her tongue out. 

“He’s gotta give you his full attention. When he’s with you, he’s with you. Everyone gets distracted. But if his head is always somewhere else, every time you see him, he just doesn’t like you.” Jordan swipes at your head, fast enough to be a challenge to dodge but not hard enough to hurt you had the hit connected. 

You go in for a kick yourself and he practically twirls out of the way. You try twice more, managing to evade his own hits just barely. 

Breathlessly, you gesture for a time out and Jordan sighs, “We gotta get you better at hand to hand.”

“That’s what my shields are for.” 

“The way you use your shields is really good. You’ve gotten a lot more creative this year. It’s why you’ve been jumping ranks so fast. You’re powerful.” 

The earnest tone he uses makes you lift up from the hunched over position of misery on your knees, “You think so?”

“Well…. yeah.” He clears his throat. “But you can’t get lazy. What if someone wears you out and you don’t have any energy left for them? No more shields. You need to be able to fight.”

“If I don’t have any energy left for my shields and my only option left is hand to hand combat, respectfully, it’s my time.” 

Jordan rolls his eyes, “Break’s over. Back in position, stay on your toes more so it’s easier to move, okay?” 

You’re about to get back into form when you hear calls of Jordan’s name from across the arena. You turn and see Luke and Cate coming over, wide grins on their faces. You give them a small wave and they both wave back, incredibly eager. 

You’ve always been friendly with one another but the strength of enthusiasm is… strange. Enough to make you blink in surprise.  

“Thought you said you were super booked up this week doing stuff for Brink? Absolutely no free time.” Cate asks, staring Jordan down. 

“This isn’t free time. I can’t slack on hand to hand combat training. It’s important.” Jordan stares Cate down even harder. 

“Why didn’t you ask me?” Luke asks casually. 

“Jordan saw my form in a video I just posted and apparently it was ‘despicable’ and ‘the most insane way he’d ever seen anyone do that before’. He rushed over to show me what the ‘right way to do it is’. Control freak.” You fake a cough as you say the last part.  

“You were gonna hurt your back!”

“Super healing.”

“Super herniated disc.” Jordan quips back and you scoff, shoving him. 

He shoves you back with an eye roll, fighting back a smile.

“How ungentlemanly of you.” You gasp. A shift, and she shoves you again making you laugh, “and unladylike!”

“You shoved me first!” 

“Children, please try and be civil we’re in public.” Luke cuts in and you almost jump at the sound of his voice. 

It’s easy to get lost in your own world when you’re with Jordan. You turn to be politely facing your classmates and not just Jordan, wearing a sheepish smile. 

“Stop teasing them. They’re cute.” Cate smiles.

“Anyways, you guys need something?” Jordan asks.

“We can’t just hang out? Are you trying to get rid of your best friends?” Luke asks.

“Yes.”

“Jordan!” You bump her with your elbow. 

“Okay, okay. We’ll leave you alone. Wanna grab lunch with us after though?” Cate asks, looping her arm through Luke’s.

“You feeling up to lunch, L/N?” Jordan looks over at you.

With three unexpected pairs of eyes on you, you fluster. “If you go easy on me for the rest of training, yes.”

“Not a chance.” Jordan snorts. “We’ll be there though. Now scram. L/N needs a lot of help.”

“No, I fucking do not!” You protest.

The two of you don’t notice Luke and Cate walking away trading looks.

“When you don’t know really know anything about him, it’s not a good sign.” Jordan tilts the bowl of popcorn towards you. 

“And what do you mean, specifically, by knowing anything about him?” You ask, taking some pieces and throwing them back.

“Has has ever shared his feelings? Talked about his personal life? If you don’t know anything besides the superficial stuff he doesn’t care about you.” Jordan states. “You also need to look out for him not knowing anything about you. Does he give you space to open up? Does he remember the shit you do tell him?”

“Got it, so just look out for the superficial surface level conversations if you never have any deeper moments.” You say.

“Exactly.” Jordan says before her eyes snap back to the screen suddenly. “Did they say they’re gonna try and make that house feel more ‘open concept’? What the fuck is their problem?” 

“Huh?” You look back to Jordan’s TV, which is playing Property Brothers. “You got a problem against open concept?” 

“I have a problem with every house being made to look the same, inside and out. It’s bad enough new houses don’t have unique floor plans. Now we’re taking houses that were unique and fucking them up till they’re boring! What ever happened to individuality? I bet they’ll paint the walls grey too. Fuck me.” She huffs, leaning back against the couch. 

“Are you really into this show or just really into design patterns?” You ask, charmed at her passion for something completely random. 

“A bit of both.” Jordan says. “I wanted to be an architect. Before I got my powers.” 

“Shut up! No, you did not.” 

“I did.” She laughs, “I used to draw up plans and torment my parents with them every hour of the day.”

You spend the rest of the afternoon talking about your hidden passions. 

You even get the honor of seeing a few of the sketches Jordan made years ago. They were crinkled at the edges, pencil markings dull with age in some places. You smiled down at the folder Jordan keeps the drawings in. When you look up, finally, to compliment them you notice a strange look on Jordan’s face. 

Thinking you’d made her self conscious with your long silence you wrapped an arm around her and told her she would have made a hell of an architect. And probably killed someone with the utter lack of load bearing beams in her structures. 

You expected her to shove you off playfully but she only leaned into you and smiled, flipping to the next page of the folder.

When you get back to your own dorm room, moon high in the sky, you have to stifle a laugh. The latest post on Jordan’s Instagram is a picture of you standing with your hands on your hips in the middle of their room, looking baffled. 

The caption: I handed her the remote and walked away for five minutes. We’ve been looking for almost an hour #jesus christ #banned from room 4ever. 

You step out into the hallway and call Jordan up, demanding they take down their character assassination attempt because you two only looked for 26 minutes, actually. 

They refuse. 

You’re so incensed by the exaggeration that you wind up back outside Jordan’s dorm room not ten minutes later. When she opens the door, and sees you standing there, she bursts into laughter. She drags you inside, and when you ask her when the ban got lifted she just throws you on the bed. You spend the rest of the night arguing semantics. 

You and Jordan were sitting in the ground floor of the school’s library where you were allowed to talk quietly. You were teaching them how to fold paper to make little stars while they were teaching you how to make the perfect paper airplane. 

“Are you filled with barely suppressed rage? Why is it so damn wrinkled?” You laugh at their mangled star.

Jordan grabs another piece of paper with a huff, pushing her bob back behind her ears. “You are shit at giving instructions. This is impossible. Do the steps slower again.” 

“I’m sorry, I’m actually not capable of slowing myself down times 3 like a Youtube video.” You tease.

“Fuck you.” Jordan kicks you under the table with her foot. “Again. Show me.”

“You start with this corner here, then you twist it over here, next you wanna-”

“Hey! Hey! What’s up people!” You and Jordan turn in perfect sync to hiss at the person to be quiet only to find that person to be Andre Anderson. 

You turn back towards the table, Jordan moves an arm to curl around the back of your chair. 

“Hey.” Jordan says flatly. You make some noise that you hope passes for a greeting.

“Sorry, too loud. So this is where the party is, huh? What’re you two doing?” Andre grabs a chair on the opposite side of the table and you frown, focusing intensely on the paper before you. 

“Don’t you have a class right now?” Jordan asks sharply.

“Blowing it off.” Andre grins back.

Jordan scoffs. You only notice your shoulders are practically up to your ears when Jordan puts her hand there and rubs. You relax, letting out a quiet breath you were holding. Jordan gives you a squeeze. 

“Awww, you making little stars? Cute. Wanna show me how, F/N?” Andre has the nerve to sound flirtatious. 

After ditching you without a word and radio silence to back it up. To really make sure there’s insult to match the injury. You clench your jaw. Keep moving your hands. Try to zone out. 

The hand on your shoulder gets bigger and so does the thigh that brushes against yours under the table. “Could you fuck off for a bit? We’re trying to relax after our exams this morning.”

“Ouch. Didn’t know you couldn’t relax with me around, man.” Andre bites back. “F/N, you want me to stay, don’t you?” 

You get up from the table abruptly. The sudden sting in your eyes doesn’t even allow you you to collect your things. Your chest feels tight. You have to just get out of here. You hope in a school of future superheroes no one will steal your stuff. You think you hear calls of your name from behind you. Some yelling. Your ears are ringing too much. You break into a sprint. 

You can’t even make it to your dorm. You have to settle for tucking yourself into the first patch of trees behind a building you can find. You try to fight back the tears. One breathe. Two. Three. Try to focus on the birds chirping somewhere above you. But the memories are all flooding in at once and you start to cry. Heaving, chest burning sobs.

“F/N. F/N. F/N, hey look at me.” You zone back into the world to Jordan pushing your hair away from your face and you sob.

“Fuck me, I’ll kill him. I’m sorry. I didn’t know you’d get so upset. You seemed like you didn’t care after that night… I-  I’ll fucking knock his teeth in.” Jordan hisses. You’d thought you’d seen them angry before. But their face has never looked like this.  

“What’s… are you having a panic attack?” Jordan asks, still petting your hair gently. You manage to nod. “Is touching you okay? Is it making it worse?” You push yourself into his hands and without another word he pulls you into his lap, tucking you against him. 

You notice absently he’s wearing his favorite jacket and try to shift, so that you’re not getting tears and snot onto the fabric. He pushes your head back against his shoulder, shushing you gently. You let yourself relax, letting out the rest of the tears. Letting the anxiety leave your body. You start your grounding techniques as your breathing evens. You can see the sharp cut of Jordan’s jaw. Hear his heartbeat. The birds chirping. Feel his hands as they rub soothing circles into your skin. Smell the cologne he wears. You tuck yourself closer, even though no more tears are coming. 

“Andre is a fucking loser.” Jordan says, quietly but vehemently, “You shouldn’t waste a second fucking thinking about him. He doesn’t care about anyone but himself. It’s not you. It’s just who he is.” 

“It’s not just Andre… It’s… it’s not even mostly Andre.” You say quietly. “I mean he’s a dick but… it just brings up memories.” 

“Memories?” Jordan echoes softly, and you know you don’t have to tell him anything but you want to. 

“When I was younger… I was even more of a wall flower than I am now. Shocker, I know.” You try to joke, Jordan only hums to let you know he’s listening, pulling you closer. “Even though I had powers I wasn’t popular or anything. I had trouble controlling them. Not enough to be dangerous… just enough to be… well, a loser, honestly. Because of my anxiety, and how loud my head gets my force-fields would just pop out whenever. I couldn’t stop it. If I was scared. If I got nervous. If I was feeling stupid, or ugly. All the time. People called me bubble girl.”

“I learned to just keep to myself but I was such an easy, fun target. Sneak up on the mouse and watch them jump and make a bubble! Fun!” You laugh bitterly. You think you feel Jordan kiss the top of your head, but you’re still out of it. “It made even getting out of bed to go to school hard. Administration wouldn’t take it serious as bullying because I was a supe: if I wanted it to stop I should defend myself.” 

“My parents felt the same way. Wouldn’t let me transfer. But I didn’t want to fight back. I didn’t want to turn myself into something I’m not just to be left alone! I didn’t want to hurt anyone. I thought eventually everyone would get bored, mature a little. But it just got worse and worse every fucking year. Senior year was… bad, though. I was getting better at controlling my powers so what kids would do to make me react was worse. But I just ignored it. I started just… pulling into myself. Whenever anyone would pour paint on my favorite outfit. Or cut my hair. Or hit me, I’d make the bubble in my head instead, and go there. Eventually, towards the end I thought people finally got bored, they stopped fucking with me as much. I thought I’d be able to graduate in peace.” 

“There was this one boy… he was popular. But he’d always been nice to me. He smiled at me in the hallways. Would help me up if people shoved me when he was around. He even gave me his sweater once, when someone cut up my shirt during gym. His friends were dicks but I thought he was different, I thought he was nice.”

“He suddenly started being even more nice to me. It felt… when he asked me to prom I just wanted to be normal for one second. I should have known. I probably did know. I just wanted to pretend, for five seconds, I wanted to pretend.” You trail off, lost in the memory.

“What happened?” Jordan asks, voice sounding hoarse. You try to pull back to see what’s wrong but he keeps you still. You realize he started rocking the both of you as you spoke. You didn’t realize how soothing it was. 

“It was a joke, obviously. We went to go shopping together, so we’d match, he told me. When we got to the shop he insisted we go to all his friends were waiting for us. Recording, of course. They all laughed at me. I still remember what one girl said, ‘you’re more crazy than we thought if you honestly ever believed someone like him would go out with a loser like you’.”

“F/N, those people were fucking assholes. They… god what the fuck is wrong with people. That’s not true.” Jordan makes you look at him, suddenly. You’re shocked that his eyes are red. “You’re not a fucking loser.”

“It’s okay, Jordan. I know they were just assholes. I always knew. It just hurts still. I’ve… I’ve avoided dating ever since, obviously. My first kiss wasn’t even romantic. It was just with a good friend that I knew wouldn’t make fun of me. So I could get it out of the way.”

“I’m sorry.” Jordan looks helpless, like he wants to do something but doesn’t know what. 

“You didn’t do anything, Jordan. No need to say sorry.”

“And then Andre went and fucking… fucking motherfucker I’ll kill him!” Jordan snaps, goes to stand up and then remembers he’s holding you halfway. He sits back down, grip a little tighter, but still gentle. 

“It’s okay. It wasn’t even a joke, what Andre did. He’s just… inconsiderate. And I happen to have a nasty experience that makes me blow everything out of proportion. I’ll have to get used to that kind of thing if I want to actually start dating.” 

Suddenly both of Jordan’s hands are on your face, holding you still so you have to look at him. “You’re not blowing anything out of proportion. And… and you don’t have to get used to shit, F/N. You’re fucking incredible. You don’t need to tolerate anything, from fucking anyone. You’re a fucking… you’re a fucking dream girl! You’re smart, and funny, and sweet, and strong, and beautiful. You’re the sweetest person I’ve ever met. You don’t have to settle for fucking anything. Okay?”

You stare up at him, shocked, he gives your head a gentle shake, “Okay?” You nod slowly.

He pulls you into another hug, the tightest one you’ve ever gotten. You don’t pull away until the sun dips so low you’re both draped in gold. 

“Fucking rank number fucking 5!” Jordan screams, arm wrapped around you tightly. A chorus of cheers from the rest of the group and people nearby. 

You cover your face, laughing helplessly. Jordan didn’t surprise you with this party, they knew that would only make you anxious, walking into a room full of people you weren’t expecting to see with (even if asked not to) cameras pointed at you. 

Jordan had texted you: I am throwing you a surprise party on Friday night to celebrate your new ranking. Please practice your surprised face. 

You had practiced. You’d done a very convincing gasp when you walked in. 

“I’m so fucking proud of you.” Jordan says, for the umpteenth time, looking at you. You feel your cheeks go hot.  

“Oh shut up. I’ll get a big head soon.” 

“You deserve it more than anyone. You’re fucking awesome.” Jordan had started heaping more praise onto you than you knew what to do with, most days. 

She claimed it was practically training. That you needed to get used to people complimenting you, with the level of fame you’re going to reach. That alone had made your stomach erupt into butterflies. Jordan believed in you. Really believed in you. 

“You’re the one who’s awesome… you’re a good mentor, Jordan.” You reach up to hold the hand that’s been wrapped around your shoulder all evening. 

“Are you saying that following my advice works?” Jordan pretends to gasp. You playfully dig your nails into her side and she jumps before grabbing the offending hand and holding onto it. She doesn’t let go. 

Her advice had worked. You posted on your social media more, at her insistence. You started to become a beast at hand to hand, thanks to Jordan’s brutal training regimen. You were socializing more, because as long as Jordan was there you felt safe. But you were even feeling confident enough to do things on your own that high school you would be shocked didn’t instantly send you to the grave. 

You’d done an interview, for God’s sake! All on your own. Although your eyes kept darting to Jordan right off camera, who smiled reassuringly the whole time.  

“I will not. Because then you’ll get a big head.” You tease, giving both her hands a squeeze. 

“Let’s get a drink.” Jordan says, tugging you towards the kitchen. 

It’s quieter in the kitchen. The drink table in the living room is still overflowing so no one’s had to start looking for leftovers yet. 

“How you feeling?” Jordan asks, helping you sit on the counter before going to the fridge. After a second he pulls out your favorite. He hid them in the far back, you can tell by how far he had to lean. 

“Good.” You smile as he pops your drink open before handing it to you. He leans against one of your knees. 

“Party isn’t too much, right?” He asks, for the third time tonight. 

Laughing you push a strand of unruly hair back from his face. He freezes at the touch, before a smile creeps onto his lips. 

“Party is perfect, Jordie. Thank you. For everything. For being so…” 

“Don’t thank me for treating you the way you should always be treated.” 

“You treat me like a princess! What if I get spoiled? You’ll have to deal with a monster.” You tease. “You won’t even be able to be mad at me, because you’ll be the reason.” 

“You’ll terrorize the world.” 

“Cause complete chaos.” 

“Devastation, even.” As Jordan speaks you realize you’d gotten closer. A lot closer. Your chest seizes up with anxiety as you wonder how long you’d been leaning in like this. You almost pull back, ready to apologize. But you’re frozen stiff now and realize the two of you are still getting closer. With a jolt you realize you both leaned in. 

Jordan has a hand on your thigh, you reach down, nervous, to hold his hand as reflex. It’s an every day comfort, lately. You give his hand a squeeze. He squeezes back. You don’t pull away as Jordan keeps leaning in. 

“Jordan! Come stop Luke from doing a keg stand, please!” Cate’s voice, typically pleasant sounds incredibly annoying at the moment. 

“Gimme a sec!” Jordan calls back, still looking you in the eye. You squeeze his hand tighter. He looks nervous. They’ve looked so nervous all night. Nervous you were having a good time. Nervous you were happy. Nervous… nervous to kiss you? Is he about to fucking kiss you?

“He has an interview tomorrow! Hustle please!” Cate calls back in a sing song tone. 

“Fuck me!” Jordan throws his head back, shifting, frustrated. “I’ll be right back, okay?” 

You nod, a little breathless from anxiety and excitement, and dread, and the full spectrum of human emotion. “Okay.” 

Jordan stomps out of the kitchen, probably going to rip Luke a new asshole from the sound of her boots on the floor. She sounds like her own stampede. You giggle, pressing your hands, still warm from holding Jordan’s into your face. You may be bad at signals but… 

You sit under the hideous fluorescent kitchen lighting feeling like something inside you is glowing. You kick your feet, nervous, waiting for Jordan to get back. Wondering what they’ll do. What they’ll say. If you’re delusional. You have to be delusional. You have to be. 

“Guard dog taking a walk?” In the doorway stands Andre, looking a little rougher than usual. His right eye is dark, like a black eye that’s started healing. There’s a small bandage over his nose. 

“What happened to you?” You gasp.

“Your guard dog.” Andre says, reaching into the fridge to pull out a bottle of spicy vodka. “Jordan’s number #2 for a reason. Congrats on making #5 by the way.” 

“Thanks.” You say. “When did Jordan do that?”

“A week ago. Would have probably gotten it earlier but apparently Cate talked them into waiting to see me until they were less pissed off. For which I’m eternally grateful.” He says, taking a sip straight from the bottle without chaser. 

You don’t really know what to say so you sit in silence. Legs still kicking, more from anxiety now, less from giddiness. 

“He gave me a busted lip too, but that healed pretty quickly. I also think he might have kicked a rib loose, been a little sore on the left side.” Andre says, he doesn’t seem to be angry but you don’t know why else he’d talk to you. 

“I didn’t ask Jordan to do that. If you’re wondering.” You say, slowly. 

“No! No! You’re way too sweet for that. This was just my shitty way of getting around to an apology. I’m sorry. I should’ve said sorry before Jordan kicked my ass but I promise Jordan kicking my ass isn’t why I’m saying sorry. The original plan was to ask you out again, make it up to you with dinner. Jordan just kicked my ass first.” 

“I hope to god you’re not working your way around to asking me on a pity date.” You narrow your eyes at him. 

“So Jordan could put me in a full body cast?” Andre laughs loudly, shocking you. “No offense, you’re really cute, but nothing’s worth that fucking beat down.” 

“Well, I guess I accept your-”

“You don’t have to forgive me. Jordan was pretty clear that I tore up some old wounds. I didn’t mean to, but I’m sorry. I can just be… a dick, sometimes. Often. All the time.” Andre jokes. 

“What did Jordan say exactly?” You ask nervously. 

“Nothing specific! I could barely pick out anything at all, really. The sound of her fist breaking my nose was pretty loud.” 

You laugh then try to cover it up by taking a sip. Andre grins and you relax, knowing it was his way of breaking the tension. 

“Can I ask you something?” Andre asks suddenly.

“You can ask, doesn’t mean I’ll answer.” You shrug.

“Fair enough.” Andre says, toying with the bottle. “Do you like Jordan?” 

“What?”

“Because Jordan sure likes you.” Andre states. 

“No, they don't.” It’s a reflex to deny the possibility of someone having feelings for you but the words feel wrong once you say them. Weren’t you just about to kiss? Wasn’t his hand just burning into your thigh like a brand? “Do they?” 

“Jordan would never do a fraction of the shit they’ve been doing for you if they didn’t care about you.” Andre takes another sip, then moves to saunter from the kitchen. He stops, a glance over the shoulder. “However you feel, tell Jordan. And soon. They’re looking a little desperate.” 

Then it’s just you and the sound of the party, and the cool marble you’re sitting on. And a lot to think about. 

“Your incessant leg jiggling is distracting me from how and why they intend to turn this beautiful victorian home into another soulless open concept millennial nightmare.” Jordan says, glancing from the TV to your leg which, yes, has been jiggling for awhile.

“I’ve got a question.”

“Obviously.” 

“How can you tell if a girl isn’t into you?” 

Jordan turns to face you, eyebrows furrowed, “what?”

You feel heat flood your cheeks, but keep your eyes firmly glued to the screen. “Are the rules the same? Or different?”

“You like girls?” Jordan blurts out.

“What?” The question is enough to make you look at her. And now you're trapped by societal standards of politeness to maintain the most anxiety inducing eye contact you've ever shared.

“You've never talked about… you've never said anything about liking girls.”

“You only offered up the help for the one gender. Didn't wanna get greedy.” You force a laugh.

“How long have you…. have you always liked girls?” Jordan asks and you hope to God you're not hallucinating that quick glance at your lips. 

“You follow me on Instagram!”

“What's that have to do with anything?”

“I literally have the pride flag in my bio?”

“I thought you were-”

“-Jordan Li, if you're about to tell me you thought I was an ally I'll beat you to death, and then jump off a cliff.” 

Jordan laughs, ducking her head, hair falling into her face slightly. You dig your fingers into your thigh to stop yourself from reaching out and tucking it behind her ear. 

“Is there a reason why you're asking… about how to tell when a girl isn't into you, all of a sudden?” Jordan looks up at you and the world narrows down to her brown eyes, and her nose, and her mouth. And the look in her eyes you hope you're not reading wrong.

You blink in confusion when amusement crosses over her face and for one awful second you think Jordan is laughing at you and you could throw up. But you realize you're suddenly looking at her from behind a force-field of light purple and feel queasy out of a different sense of embarrassment.

You can hear a smile in Jordan’s voice, but you refuse to unbury your face from your hands, “Never seen you not be able to control your powers before.” 

“Please kill me.”

“Can't. Your forcefield is still up, princess.” She teases, tapping at the bubble. 

With a groan of humiliation you drop your field and peek up at her through your fingers. 

“First the forcefield, now the hands. Still haven't answered my question though.” You almost snip at her that she should take a wild guess at your answer but there's something about Jordan’s expression. It's teetering between playful, guarded, and… something else. And you have to bank on whatever that something else is.

You take a deep breath in and move in closer, “You're not so awful a teacher that the lessons for a guy didn't stick, but considering you're a girl too who knows what incredibly important lesson you didn't know you had to teach me. The lesson… the girl lesson, that would have stopped me from misinterpreting what's been happening here. If I’m misinterpreting. All I know is… all I can really be sure of, is how I feel. And I, well-” You bite your lip, taking a shaky breath, and Jordan moves in closer, “I'm about halfway to being in love with you.”

The words are barely out of your mouth before her lips are on yours. Her hand curls at the base of your neck, pulling you in closer. A brush of her tongue against your bottom lip before you let her in with a breathless sigh. She moans against your lips, other hand moving to your waist to tug you into her lap. 

You lose your balance a little, fall into her in a way that is not at all seductive. You laugh, embarrassed and she chases the sound, using both hands to put you in her lap, holds you there firm and secure.

“You-” She kisses you, interrupting your sentence. “Haven’t-” Another kiss. “Told me-” She holds you tight this time, tilting her head to the side, sweeping her tongue against yours and gasping at your taste. You pull back with shaky hands, keeping her at a distance with a grip on her shoulders.

“Could we use our big girl words?” You ask, breathless and a little dizzy. 

“I’ve fucking only been in love with you for two years, thanks for fucking noticing.” She huffs, exasperated and smiling. 

“How on Earth was I supposed to interpret your seething stare of hate for being in love with me?” You’re already melting against her as she pulls you back in with the guiding grip on your hair. 

“Shoulda looked harder, baby.” She coos, and doesn’t let you up again anytime soon. 

A/N: my magnum opus of pining! if you enjoyed this fic consider reblogging, leaving a reply, or an anon! a writers fuel is engagement. xoxoxo

Farmer!price/blue collar!Simon gives me only two thoughts, being crushed and being nipped. And we've talked about being crushed

His work hands lets him give the worse possible cow bites. Big fat bruises just under your ass after you teased him one morning. Those little short of yours just gets you trouble. And perfect for him to see your fat in his hand.

Okay Farmer!price is a little more mean with the cow bites, pinning you against the counter with his body and pinching a chunk of your cheek fucking hard till your trying to kick and buck out of his hold. Gets his heifer riled up

that last line really stirred something up in me

I’m sorry I don’t know where this came from

(nsfw content below)

thinking about farmer!price wrangling on pregnant wife when she’s having a really bad day. you seem adamant on defying him no matter how hard he tries to get you to settle in bed with a book and one of his big chunky cardigans keeping you warm

instead you’re waddling around the house, panicking about the nursery not being finished and snapping at your lovely husband when he herds you back to the bedroom which results in his gently manhandling you onto your belly. pillows shoved between your swollen belly and the mattress to keep you comfy

“wha’s wrong with you, eh?” he asks in that husky voice of his. you feel one of his rough hands paw at your leaky, sore tits. “yeh need milkin’?” he chuckles, making you scowling and thrash against him

talks to you like you’re one of his rowdy barn animals,

“calm down, girl. tha’s it…”

“keep mooin’ for me, pretty…” this one gets him a smack before he wrangles you back into your place against the plush pillows and blankets

once he’s milked a few orgasms out of you, you’re back to being his good girl. resting in bed where you belong, letting your man dote on you and your big belly <3

Could we get a Viktor drabble where he’s doing that thing teenagers do when they written their name and your name in their journal to see how they sound with your last name?

And getting caught 👀

As you wish, anon. And if Viktor getting caught writing things about reader is your jam, might I suggest A Theory by @gaybybirth which is the fic that dragged me kicking and screaming back into writing on tumblr.

Round and around and around that long finger. How he could twirl chestnut strands so much and not have given himself a permanent little curl or even a tiny bald spot behind his ear was beyond you. As it was he had cowlick after wispy soft cowlick curling errantly in the mess of his hair. It was irritatingly endearing, terribly distracting. Had your own fingers itching every time he started up that bad habit to slap his hand gently aside and and rake your own fingers back down his scalp. Difficult not to think what it would feel like, the silk mess of that hair carded between fingers. To watch him tilt is head back, close those tired amber eyes slowly. Thick lashes dark against pale cheekbones. Let you kiss bruised, tired eyelids softly...

No.

No, thoughts ran away with you far too easily. Not even thoughts - silly fantasies. He was terribly busy, terribly important. Him and Mr. Talis. Busy building the future of Piltover and leashing the power of those terrifyingly unstable hex crystals to allow teleportation across continents, across worlds. And all you could think of was touching that babyfine soft hair that formed a v at the nape of his neck. About the way his voice was always so softly quiet, terribly gentle.

He'd let you hold one, once. A hex crystal. Dropped it into your palm and smiled at how you'd sucked breath in hard and fast as you cradled it like a live bomb. Closed your cupping palms around it with his own.

"Can you feel it?" He asked.

All you could do to swallow, throat sandpaper grit and eyes round saucers. You could feel his fingertips against the outside of your wrists, feel the brush of his thumbs against your own and the warm of his palms to your knuckles. And yes... the shallow pulsing electric vibration of the deadly dangerous crystal you held. Like licking a battery without the copper taste, and with the warning crackle through the whole of your forearms straight to spine.

Lightening in a stone, if not a bottle.

Blue luminescence reflected in gold eyes as he pulled the careful cup of your hands apart and took the stone back. Eyes only for one thing and it surely wasn't for the tech assistant in faded grey and tatty coveralls, constantly smeared in gear grease and always in the background; fixing all the little minor issues the new golden boys of Piltover managed to create with their unlimited intellect and vastly overestimated mechanical expertise.

Sure, they could both design the future, write complex mathematic and arcane problems as foreign to you as Noxian calculus... but ask either to find the actual source of a lack of power in a time train gear network they had designed? Forest for the trees, you supposed. It was fine, you were good with details, with the trees, if this metaphor held.

Details like that hair twirling. Like his shy smile. Like how you'd be under and deep in the guts of a piece of mech and fumbling blindly for a tool only to have him press it into your searching fingers. Never could figure out how he always knew exactly what you were looking for without even having been asked. Nine eighths spanner? In your fingers. Ten quarter allen wrench? Done. The finest pair of needle nose pliers? His fingertips soft against your grease stained palm as he pushed it there in silent passing. Reading your mind.

If only you could read his.

So nice then, that one night, when you’d dragged yourself out from under the guts of their latest prototype, to find him sat there alone, the only other living soul in the lab and shaking an empty pen between twirling the silk licks of his hair.

You rolled tired shoulders and unzipped coveralls to tie the arms round your waist over your sweated tank top.  Wandered over to pull the pen from his fingers and put a fresh one in hand.  So lost in thought he failed to notice.  Went right back to scribbling.  Curiosity had you glance over his shoulder to catch a glimpse of whatever incomprehensibly complex mathematics he was entrapped in.

And instead stared down at two open pages scrawled with your name.  And his.  And little rough sketches and doodles that had a heat rising under your skin with the searing intensity of a late summer sunburn.  Under your lean over his shoulder Viktor had swam to the surface, fresh pen stilling its most recent scrawl of your name before it dropped and he scooped one elegant hand under the jacket of his notebook to slam it shut and spin on you.  Luminous golden eyes wide.

Before you could stop yourself you’d reached past him fast as a striking snake and grabbed up the notebook.  Back pedaled a few steps as you flipped through it.  Your name, his name, doodles and drawings and.... oh.  You turned that page sideways and squinted.  OH.  

“Wait.  Please...”  His voice was broken, begging.  Mortified.  

“Viktor.  Do you...”  You were going to tease him, grinning, delighted.  Until you looked up and saw him wilt, the fine splay of one hand hiding half his face as he slumped back onto his lab stool.  Oh no. 

Still, you weren’t giving that book back.  Yet.  Tucked it behind the small of your back in the waistband of coveralls and closed in on him.  Very much emboldened by all the scribbles on those pages, lovely spidery litany of your name over and over again intertwined with his.  Had you slot yourself between the long spread of his lean thighs.  Permanently stained and calloused hand tugging away the one that hid his face by the wrist.  

He resisted, and for a strained second you felt sure he was going to rise, spindle legs carrying him backward off the stool and out of the lab.  But instead he gave, and let his hand drop, heat burning fever under pale skin beneath.  Hot as steam burnt steel under your fingers as you caught up the fine angles of his face.  Glad he didn’t seem to mind the scent of gear grease and petrol on your skin.  Or how rough your thumb was as you slid it over the little freckle under his eye. 

“Have you settled on one?”  You couldn’t help your teasing nature, had to ask.  So pleased he would be so obsessed as to fill pages with your names together.

“Please.”  Still pained, he tried to pull his face from the frame of your hands, tried to reach round you to grab the book back.  Instead you caught his arm behind you and pressed it higher as you leaned in.

Took a chance and pushed your forehead to his temple.  Watched him exhale a shiver and turn amber eyes up toward yours.  So close you could see the flecks of brown and green imbedded in the gold depths.  Unable to help yourself, you pressed him.

“What else have you written about us?”

cowboy!neighbor!price

His Majesty the King - pt one

King!Viktor x Fem!Reader Royal AU

Series Masterlist - Arcane Masterlist - AO3 - Ko-fi

Series Synopsis: After your family cannot afford to pay a tax, they have the option to offer something up to the King as collateral to buy them more time. They decide to send their oldest daughter: you.

Warnings: sexual tension, fluff, nsfw content, yearning (so much yearning), anachronisms for any historical fiction lovers (I'm sorry, this wasn't researched), viktor undoing your dress, stolen kisses/forbidden romance (sorta), viktor feeding you, dirty talk, fingering

Word Count: 8.1k

A/N: The royal au series i wrote off-the-cuff all put into an official series. Parts one through three are found here. Enjoy!

pt one:

You'd been sold, for lack of a better term. Bartered? Traded? Your parents owed money. A tax they couldn't pay one too many times. We need collateral came after begging for an extension for the umpteenth time. There were a few options they could've offered up. The deed to the house, to their general store. Two easy ones. Locked in the safe in your father's office. It would've taken a matter of minutes to retrieve. But he remained planted in the mud outside your house. Modest, but nothing to brag about. A show for outsiders when there wasn't always food on the table.

"My daughter," he exclaimed, yanking your forward with a harsh grip on your wrist, "take her. Put her to use. Surely you could use another hand around the castle."

You were the only one to protest. Which was cut short as you glanced between your mother, father, and younger sister. Not a word was said between the three as you were tossed towards the soldiers. Into the grips of knights you knew weren't there to save. They were there doing the king's duty, identities hidden beneath the freezing metal. The winter weather pierced your thin cloak like needles when you slammed against their chest plates. Had their gloves close around your wrists, yanking them behind your back.

"She will do," one murmured entirely unimpressed. "For now."

The ride to the castle, wrists bound behind your back with chains you'd mentioned weren't necessary. You had nowhere to go. Nowhere to flee to. You'd been offered up on the slab like a piece of meat. Quite literally.

You have no idea what to expect inside the castle walls. It was hard to like a King that often kept himself out of sight. Who seemed entirely okay accepting a person as collateral for his high taxes. Granted, it was his soldiers that had accepted the bargain. But you doubted they would've agreed had the King not been okay with the barter.

Once upon a time, he wasn't that bad. He and his council of advisors kept the kingdom safe. It flourished. But in the last few years, it'd started to deteriorate. Taxes were raised, days felt desolate, those that wore jewels like they weren't worth your entire house lived beyond reason. Parading around wealth worth the entirety of your family's store. Worth you. Wealth that would've paid the debt that you were currently fulfilling without putting a scratch in their jewels.

Those unsure expectations were satiated quickly upon pulling into the castle gates. Luxurious. That's what the inside was. Rich velvets and silks lined the halls, colors vibrant and bleeding an obvious wealth. Rich aromas of foods you'd never even dreamed of tasting. Fireplaces that warmed each room, making the vast halls feel cold and unwelcoming.

They were taking you to meet the king. In your beige dress, unkempt hair, watery eyes as your demise set in. He had to be informed of your joining the staff. Kitchen or cleaning, the knights had decided. They'll make good use of you. But you were stuck on meeting the king. As if it were some casual introduction. Your heart was lodged in your throat as they opened two massive double doors and shoved you inside, surely hoping you'd fall on your face. That you'd embarrass yourself like the peasant you were in the eyes of royalty.

You nearly did, falling to your knees in front of a lavish throne. You tugged on the cuffs, cursed beneath your breath, fought the way your heart wanted to leap from your chest. Too many emotions too fast. Home, gone. Betrayal from those meant to protect you. Thrown into the fray of working until enough time had passed for your family to pay back the debt. And then what? Would they keep you to make sure your family kept paying? Or give you back with the threat they'd take you back in a heartbeat if they couldn't pay again?

And now you were sat before the king. Knees aching, wrists chaffed, fighting fear.

You locked onto a set of gold eyes. Ensnared with a darkness like the hair on his head. Face angular, two beauty marks dotting his face. Beneath his right eye and above the left corner of his mouth. Grayish purple bags were stark against his pale skin, the exhaustion stretching throughout his lean figure. A thin frame of metal braced his right leg, creaking slightly when he moved. He ran a gloved hand lazily along a cane he held, carefully coming to rest on the gold handle. His thick brows furrowed as he scanned you, and he frowned.

"Who is she?" A man you hadn't even bothered to notice asked. Standing beside the king. Shorter, rosier cheeks, significantly older. His blond hair was combed back with hints of gray poking through.

"Collateral." One of the soldiers stepped forward, motioning to you. He came so close to smacking your head that you flinched. The King kept his eyes on you. His frown deepened.

"She was sent as collateral?" The short man asked.

You couldn't tell if he was offended that someone had sent their daughter in place of a family heirloom or a property deed, or if they were wondering if you were even decent enough to be considered collateral. Something told you it was a mixture of the two.

"For the (Y/L/N) family." The soldier rolled their shoulders, armor clinking. "Unable to pay for the fourth time in a row. When told they needed to offer collateral, they gave us her."

"Well." The short man sighed. "Throw her in with the maid staff for now. See if she can make herself useful there."

"Yes, sir," the soldier said, grabbing the chain between your cuffs and jerking up. A searing pain shot into your shoulders, and you winced as your knees were yanked from the ground only to smack right back down. Not enough strength to lift you entirely, but enough to remind you who was in charge.

You rose on wobbly legs, stealing one last glance at the King as the soldier turned you, and you felt the metal dig into your flesh. At the King whose eyes narrowed as you were dragged from the room. The King who the public envied, hated, feared. Worshipped, put their lives on the line for. Whose name was treated like a curse in one circle and a god's in another.

It was most definitely the former for you as the double doors were reopened. You hated the perfectly tailored shirt he wore. The thin gold crown that glinted under the chandelier that dripped wax down the crystals that hung beneath like a taunt. A reminder that this was what the townsfolks were paying for. What you were covering your family for.

You were shoved out the door despite offering up little resistance to the knight's movements. But your feet stalled at the sound that cut through the room. Quiet. Calm, even. It drew everyone's attention back into the room.

You blinked at the King as he sat expectantly.

"Your name."

Two simple words. He knew your name. Or the one that mattered. You were covering for your family so you'd become just another nameless maid expected to do her tasks without question. Your path would never cross with the King again after this. You were nothing to him. A name wouldn't matter.

But still, he waited.

"(Y/N)," you murmured, forcing your voice to remain steady. His eyes burned with an intensity that you couldn't pinpoint. You swallowed as he nodded.

"Well," he muttered, voice wrapping around you like the silk curtains that lined the hall. You were practically out of the room, but it felt like you were standing beside each other, whispering secrets only the two of you knew. "Welcome to the castle, (Y/N)."

pt two:

You weren't supposed to see him again. One in your position wasn't meant to cross paths with the King. You were to be tossed into a cramped room, given a uniform that felt a size too small, shoes that hurt your feet, and were expected to do your duty without complaint. Conversations forbidden unless they were hushed and behind closed doors. No contact was to be made with anyone, let alone the royals, without permission. So you stuck to your duties. Cleaning, tidying, washing clothes you had only ever dreamed of touching. Getting your hands swatted when you messed up. Verbally berated when you weren't quick enough. Even if you were more efficient than some of those who worked by your side.

Your entire body ached by day four. You could barely move on day six. It was day seven when you were brought to the library in the middle of the night and were instructed to clean it--spotless--due to your lackluster attempts earlier in the day. It was code for those who had cleaned the library earlier hadn't done a good enough job and since you were feeling the repercussions of the job, you were forced to fix their mistakes.

And you had no choice. So you cleaned. You dusted, swept, mopped. Scrubbed and organized. Stole one too many glances at the leather-bound novels. Settled beside the fireplace for a moment longer than you knew you should've. But it just felt so good to just sit for a moment.

And then you heard a voice and you froze, hands stretched out towards the fire, feet tucked beneath you as you warmed up your calloused hands. Your wrists were still raw from the cuffs they'd kept you in as long as they could when you'd first arrived.

"Careful," he whispered. His cane clinked against the floor. "If they catch you slacking, they will not be happy."

You slowly rose and pulled your hands away from the fire but a gentle hand stopped you. He stood beside you, frowning as the tips of his fingers ran over your chaffed wrists. The uniform felt infinitely tighter, making each breath impossible.

"Please, warm yourself." His hand lingered until you stretched your arms back out.

The air in the room felt thick and heavy.

"Yes, Your Majesty."

He winced, sliding the hand that'd once been on you into his pocket. His gaze perused your frame and you felt yourself starting to shake, unsure what he was looking at. Unsure how you were supposed to act in front of the King.

"It's too small." He was frowning again.

"I-I'm sorry?"

"Your attire. It is too small. That cannot be comfortable." He eyed the string crisscrossing across your back, holding your dress firm to your body. Too tight, too small. His hand twitched on his cane before he turned his attention to your face. His concentrated expression softened. His gold eyes flickering in the firelight. "I, er, I am sorry for the circumstances that brought you here, Miss (Y/N)."

You blinked at the King, breath catching in your throat. You blatantly ignored the fact that he'd remembered your name.

Instead, you focused on if he'd been wearing his crown, you would've plucked it from his head, pointed to one of the jewels that glittered the band, and screamed about how half of one would've absolved your family of what was owed. That if he hadn't crave such lavish items, the taxes wouldn't be so high, and you wouldn't even be there in the first place. If he were wearing his crown, of course. And if you suddenly gained a bravery you knew was hidden deep beneath the breath you couldn't quite get enough of.

Still, to your surprise, a smidge snuck out.

"You're sorry? Really?" You laughed bitterly. Right in the King's face. In a heartbeat, you threw your hand over your mouth and stepped back. Fear tingled your skin, all the way down your back. "Oh--shit--I'm so sorry, Your Majesty."

Both cursed and beloved, you had no idea how the King reacted to such behavior. You weren't given much of a chance to see as you backed into a bookcase and yelped, thinking you'd bumped into a guard or even another servant. You spun tripped over your own feet. You expected the ground to knock the wind from you, but the King caught you, both hands on your shoulders, his cane thumping softly on the ground. His grip soft, gently trailing down your arms until he got to your elbows, where the sleeves of your dress stopped, and his skin brushed yours once more.

"Relax, Miss (Y/N)," he whispered, mouth beside your ear. "You are free to speak your mind to me."

It took a moment for you to gather words.

"You apologize when it is because of your laws that I am here. If you were sorry, you'd let me go home and give us the extension anyway."

He was quiet. His hands twitched on your elbows before they dropped. A slow breath. Then another. His hair tickled your neck.

When he finally spoke, his words sounded stilted.

"If I were to make an exception for one, I would have to to make an exception for all. Taxes have to be paid. One way or another."

You would've laughed if tears hadn't been welling up. So you stepped away, wiping away the wrinkles on your skirt, and cleared your throat. You hadn't expected any other answer, but it still hurt to hear. And it hurt knowing that you were stuck at the castle until the debt could be paid.

At least there was food every night. Even if you'd been forced to miss dinner due to cleaning the library.

You wanted to cry. You missed your parents cooking, listening to your sister run around wreaking havoc as you set the table. Your bed that was endlessly more comfortable than the poor excuse they gave you here.

Now, you were standing beside the King, his words like the key locking the door to a cage. You couldn't chirp, you couldn't fly. All you could do was speak when your master commanded it. You wanted to hit him. Maybe upside the head. Maybe with his cane that he was subtly reaching for. Your brows furrowed when you glanced at his leg. He wasn't wearing the brace. Nor was he wearing anything that fancy. Just a basic white shirt and pants. They looked like something you would've thrown on when you snuck out during the night to visit your friends, long past when your parents had gone to sleep.

"I ought to get back to work then," you mumbled. Voice more broken than you ever wanted the bastard to hear. It was his fault you were here. Fucking his. His damn taxes. His damn knights. Being goddamn collateral-

Without warning, you were led to the side.

If someone would've told you that you would've ended up in a compromising position with someone while you were at the castle, you would've shrugged. You had to pass the time somehow. And doing so with some nice company? That'd be the way to do it. But if they told you that it was with the King? You would've called them delusional. That perhaps they needed to get their head checked.

But when the library door opened, its hinges squeaking and two distinct voices carried between the bookcases, a tender hand on your wrist guided you into a crevasse beside the fireplace. Where you'd pulled a potted plant and a vase out earlier to clean. It wedged back far enough for neither of you to be seen.

It did, however, mean that the two of you were wedged so close together that you felt every inch of the other's body. Your back was against the King's chest, one hand reaching out to grab his cane before it fell as his hand came to cover your mouth. His other arm wrapped around your waist and held you as tight as you figured he could. You tried not to scream against his hand, and he held it firm when you tried to drag it away.

His breathing was surprisingly even, contrasting your desperate attempts. Each rhythmic movement making his chest brush against your back. You closed your eyes and counted to ten, trying your best to calm down. But it was growing increasingly harder in the small space. Especially so when his thumb ran reassuring lines along your ribs. An action that felt like fire was licking your skin. That the thin dress had caught the flames just on the other side of the wall.

He shushed you, turning his head towards the voices as they got closer. He tensed and you knew whoever was in the room was right there. If they found you--the King and some collateral hiding in a little corner in the library--you wouldn't be collateral any longer. You'd be six feet under.

"This is where he usually goes when he's not in his room."

It sounded like the old man who'd been in the throne room. Heimer, he went by, you found out shortly after. Your paths had crossed no more than what you could count on one hand, and each time he gave you a glance you couldn't read. Uncaring curiosity? You weren't sure.

"He might have gone to see the cook for a snack," the other voice said. "Or he is with the blacksmith, trying to see the progress on the latest weaponry."

"He's not you, Jayce. You're the one who prefers to do the heavy lifting. Viktor prefers to exercise his mind."

You were shaking, and the King slowly--very, very slowly--lowered the hand over your mouth. It skimmed down your throat, circling back until it slid between the two of you. You let out a shuddering exhale as he tugged on the strings holding the dress against you like a second skin, and very carefully loosened each cross. Each gentle tug of his finger made you silently gasp. The last few times someone had undone your dress even remotely as slowly, tender, and carefully, was not because you couldn't breathe. And the memories were tricking you, with each flick of a touch. Each graze and tug. As the fabric hung loosely around your chest. Not low-cut enough to cause worry of potential exposure. But it did dip lower than appropriate for someone to be wearing near the King. Especially with such a difference between classes. Especially with someone you despised.

Yet as you took your first full breath of the evening, you could've sworn you felt him relax ever so slightly.

"Alright, I'll go check in the kitchen and see if he found his way there. Get to bed, old man, I'll catch him up on what he missed from the council meeting."

"Fine. But I am trusting you to return him to his room, Mr. Talis."

"Yeah, yeah, I will."

Two sets of footsteps retreated and the library door closed shortly after. The King waited a beat before fully relaxing, his head falling back against the wall. He didn't guide you out of the small space.

Your mind seemed to catch up with you as he pulled you to rest against him, subconsciously, it seemed.

"Your Majesty," you whispered even though the two had left. "If I may venture a question?"

"You may." He seemed fond of whispering in your ear. And you weren't fond of the way it made your body shiver in a way that should've been disgust but was the exact opposite. It also wasn't helping that his hand was still firmly on your ribs, thumb running that same teasing circle.

"I can understand why you hid, but why me as well?"

His arms tightened for a brief moment around you before they fell and frustratingly so, you missed the contact.

"I, er." He cleared his throat. You couldn't tell if he was trying to choose his words carefully or if he was stalling. "I did not want you to get questioned. You have already been through enough on my behalf."

Silence. Neither of you moved. Your bodies were still practically pressed together. And without much warning, his hand came atop yours as he reached for his cane. You owed him nothing, yet you felt the urge to say what you certainly should've kept to yourself.

"I wouldn't have said you were here."

He leaned forward, one hand on his cane, the other reaching over your shoulder and pressing against the wall. You clenched your jaw as you felt all of him meld to you.

"I appreciate that, Miss (Y/N)." His breath fanned against your neck. And he stayed like that for a second before sliding out. "Genuinely."

When he was out, he gave you his hand. You hesitated before taking it. It was soft yet calloused, his fingers bony against yours. He didn't let go even once you were out of space.

"Spin," he murmured, eyes alight with something that made your cheeks burn. He held his cane underneath his arm, an obvious well-practiced stance. You did as he said, and he laced up your dress, not nearly as tight as it had been before. You noted how close he was standing. Closer than he needed to be, but you didn't step away. And it wasn't because he was the King and you feared potential repercussions. The exact opposite. It made you clench your jaw.

"I ought to return to my bed chambers," he said when he finished, hands hovering over your waist before falling to his side. "My apologies for interrupting you during your duty. I hope you are not kept up much later in pursuit of cleaning this place. I must apologize for its state of disarray. It's my fault that things are often out of place."

You stared at him in disbelief. He was...apologizing to you? You tried to fan the flames of irritation you'd felt towards him days ago, hours ago, goddamn minutes ago. But the soft, crooked grin he gave you pierced you like a damn dagger. So hard you nearly staggered back. You would've had you not locked your knees. But the damn thing made his entire face light up. Made his eyes sparkle and soften his demeanor.

"It's...alright, Your Majesty."

"Call me Viktor, please, when it's just you and me." You swore there was a dimple on his cheek when his smile deepened. You felt the strange urge to kiss it and you hated it.

"Yes Your...Yes, Viktor."

"Thank you." He nodded, studying you for one last moment before starting towards the door. "Sweet dreams, Miss (Y/N). "

The library door closed gently behind him.

When it's just you and m. Sweet dreams.

You bit your lip as you tried to process the slew of emotions. He expected the two of you to spend more time together. Alone. Something that should've angered you, worried you, shouldn't have made you excited. Secretly, you told yourself. You were secretly excited. But there was a strange curiosity there that you couldn't ignore. That bubbled to the surface.

The King--Viktor--was very much not who he seemed.

pt three:

You saw Viktor dozens of more times after that. All during your duties. In between conflicting feelings about the man you should hate, missing your family, and trying to figure out the relationship between Viktor and the council he seemed to meet with every few days. Meetings he often tried to avoid, you discovered, as you overheard who you discovered to be Jayce telling him that he needed to start showing up again.

That was in the throne room, where you'd been started to get sent more and more shortly after your midnight meeting with Viktor. One that you hadn't stopped thinking about since it'd happened. It was growing increasingly frustrating that you were getting less and less sleep each night as you thought back to that evening.

You saw more of the castle as the days passed. Bringing tea, coffee, and fruits into offices with members who you figured to be of the council. They talked of politics you only somewhat understood. Of wars you hadn't known were in talks of being waged. You felt privy to information you knew they weren't in fear of leaking--who were you going to tell, after all? You were there until your family paid a tax that felt more and more impossible to meet as each day went by.

Saying you met the members was a reach. You were simply able to put names to faces. Kirraman and Bolbok, who cared far more for those inside the walls of the castle than those beyond. Hoskel and Salo, who cared only for trade routes, talked of lowering the pay of the workers since the roads had become nicer, in order to pocket more for themselves.

Then there was Mel and Shoola, the only two who seemed to acknowledge the existence of those beyond the castle walls. Of where you and many of your friends and family lived. Where many of those who funded their lavish lifestyle lived.

The final two, Jayce and Heimer, seemed to be the closest with Viktor. But one thing became clear as you traveled from room to room, witnessed the same Viktor you'd seen on day one. The man with puffy eye bags, unkempt hair, clothes and a crown that reminded everyone of his royal status. The man who you watched turn away begging citizens. His hand gripped the armrest of the throne tighter when each denial he had to give. His jaw clenching, hair curling over his forehead.

"It's for the greater good," you heard Heimer whisper to him.

"We need the money to continue expanding our arsenal," Jayce said. "You saw how well the advancements are coming. They're almost there, Vik."

Viktor didn't always meet your gaze when you offered him a snack. A cup of tea. But he almost always made sure he acknowledged you in some manner. Hands brushing as you passed him a cup or a plate. Whispering a very undeserving and etiquette-breaking thank you that he only ever spared you. Handing you his cane if he needed both hands to be free. He'd even asked you to fetch him a book from the library once.

"On the bookcase you nearly fell into that night. Second shelf, middle, right beside the fireplace."

He hadn't spoken loud enough for anyone but you to hear. And it made your entire body burn up. You hoped you hadn't looked as flustered as you felt as you fetched it for him.

It was after about two weeks of the behavior that you realized he was most likely doing it because he wanted you to feel comfortable. Almost like a distraction from why you were there. And it angered you, strangely, that it was working. That he was even trying to do that.

It made the only alone time the two of you ever got...well, different.

Usually, it was your paths crossing while you were left alone to clean while Viktor was trying to just get a moment to himself. Hiding in one of the random bathing chambers, bedrooms, the kitchen, even outdoors in the garden. The latter was your favorite. The one that stuck with you the longest. The hardest.

The rest were momentary meetings. You both knowing you only have minutes at the most together, sharing small talk as you worked and Viktor took a breather, before someone else came passing through. And the King couldn't be seen conversing so calmly and casually with you.

You hated how you longed for the meetings. The way his hands would graze your skin as he brushed your hair from your face. Passed you a rag that royal hands had never once touched. Wiped the corner of your mouth when he fed you a piece of food that was not meant for a mouth of a maid. Of the collateral. He grinned when you practically moaned at the taste. You'd never tasted something so damn flavorful. It was infuriating.

And then there was the garden. Where he'd found you while strolling, a book in his hand that went unread as soon as he saw you. He sat on the bench beside you as you trimmed plants and plucked flowers for a centerpiece that'd been requested for the dinner that evening. But the sunny weather hadn't lasted long. As thunder crashed and rain poured down, Viktor whisked you away to a small gazebo hidden away in an overgrown section. Away from the castle. Away from the rest of your responsibilities for the day. At least during that moment, they felt far, far away.

He tripped on his way in, falling forward and pinning you against a wooden pillar. The roof sheltered you from the rain, but you were both already soaked to the bone. Freezing. Shivering. He didn't right himself, panting as his breath puffed out in a visible cloud. He was so close. You'd never stared at the mole above his mouth for so long. So desperately. So infuriatingly.

But all the two of you did was pant. Pressed against each other, a cold hand coming up to cup your jaw. You gasped. You hadn't meant to, and you tried to tell him that it was because his hand was cold. But the deep-set shivers made your words stutter. And it'd just made Viktor grin. A sight for sore eyes. Sometimes it made you wonder how he could sit there and frown for most of the day when his entire face lit up with just one crooked grin. One that warmed you like a fire. As did he as he settled between your legs, nose nudging yours as an arm hooked around your waist. You hadn't even noticed that you'd started to part your legs for him. Neither of you, it seemed, were going to comment on it.

Neither that nor the way he held onto you like you would slip through his fingers if he let go.

You wanted to stab him. You wanted to kiss him.

Perhaps both.

But your time was short-lived.

"Your Majesty," someone had called out. "We must get you inside before you catch a chill."

"Forgive me, Miss (Y/N)," he murmured as his hand traveled down your neck, trailing over your exposed clavicle in a touch more teasing than anything you'd ever felt. And you'd done a lot more with someone than a simple light touch. "As much as I do not want to, I must say goodbye for now. Please, do not stay out much longer. I fear the council would have my head if I tried to nurse you back to health if you were to get sick."

A laugh bubbled in your throat at the image. The King taking care of a sickly maid because she'd caught a common cold. An image that was difficult to imagine even if he was right in front of you, whispering it to you himself. The ruthless King. The man who wanted to take care of someone. The man you couldn't get your fingers around enough. His neck or him.

"They would if they knew you were even out here with me," you'd said back, breathless. You blamed that damn tight dress. But you knew it was much more than that. You hoped he wouldn't notice.

"Perhaps." He grinned. "But I am starting to realize that listening to the council may not be in my best interest."

He was gone, walking as fast as he could with the leg brace on. You stood shivering in the gazebo as the train pelted down until the tightness in your abdomen subsided. You went back to your duties once the warmth faded. The bouquet for the centerpiece was small and unfinished, so you expect it to be discarded as a waste. But when you stepped into the dining hall that evening to help clear plates, it was still sat right in the center.

The entire encounter was with you for weeks. You thought you couldn't sleep after your meeting in the library. You really couldn't after that. Sharing a bedroom with four other people was devastating when you got more wound up each night. Thoughts drifting into places they shouldn't have been about him.

Anger was the appropriate reaction. Wishing to take that anger out on him physically? Also appropriate. But the ways in which you wished to? Very much inappropriate. You were starting to understand why some of your roommates tried to pry specific...information...from Viktor's personal servant. A man he rarely ever asked for assistance from. Also a man who spilled absolutely nothing. Except to you after they'd asked if he'd be interested in a bedmate.

"Not from any of you," he'd said, eyeing them with amusement as they frowned and pouted. So they left to return to their duties, dismayed and unimpressed. To them, the King was a man to flirt and attempt with. Not the man who was the reason you were at the castle in the first place. A man who your family had willingly given you to without a damn question. Worth more than a deed. Or, perhaps less. More expendable. But you weren't a fan of dwelling on that thought.

Then, he turned to you. "He already has his eye on someone."

And that was all he ever said on the subject.

Because the next time you were alone with Viktor, the sentiment was proven true.

It was a month later. A very tense month where Viktor had been spending a lot more time with the council. And they'd been dismissing far angrier than when they'd started. Except for Mel and Shoola, those two were the only ones who walked out looking even remotely amused.

Taxes were being argued, trade routes disputed, the parties that the castle once threw every few weeks had become few and far between. Only three had been held since you'd been there. And not once had you even been allowed to peep inside. You'd been forced somewhere else, along with half of the other maids and servants, to do other duties. It was after the third party when you discovered that Viktor had snuck out and often snuck out of the parties.

You'd been instructed to clean a servant's quarters downstairs. It'd taken longer than it should have, but you couldn't shake the anger that came with each party thrown. Funded by the money that could've sent you home. That would've let you be with your family again.

But it was off being spent on fancy gowns and jewelry and crowns. On food that you'd only get to smell, to dream of tasting. On music you'd only ever hear muffled and mixed into a sea on conversations. You wanted to tear the rag you'd been using in half. But that risked consequences you weren't interested in facing. You'd already been yelled at for wearing your uniform too loose. They'd tied it extra tight the past few days as a reminder. It made bending down hurt.

You were walking down a hall, bucket and rag discarded, trying to steal and glance at the party you were to be nowhere near. Just a whiff of the food made your stomach twist. A glance through a cracked door that you dared not to get close to showed a glittering sea of rich colors and fabrics you wished you could touch.

Of gowns and jewelry that you wished to burn and break.

And then you rounded a corner and, when you smacked right dab in the middle of someone, you saw your life flash before your eyes. You thought about sprinting off and hoping they hadn't seen your face. That they'd never recognize you again. Or perhaps dropping to your knees and apologizing profusely.

Then he spoke and you'd be damned if you didn't relax.

"Ah, Miss (Y/N), are you alright?"

You glanced at Viktor and swallowed. He had to know you were supposed to be here. You glanced at the two guards positioned a few doors up.

"Y-Yes Your Majesty. My apologies. I'm terribly sorry. If you'll excuse me, I really must get back to my quarters. I'm sorry for the intrusion."

Viktor frowned, and you only caught it momentarily as your gaze fell to the ground. Just as it was supposed to when you were to talk with anyone above your station. You panicked and curtsied, sucking in a sharp breath of pain as you dipped, wincing as your stomach churned in a mixture of pain and hunger.

A hand on your arm stopped you and you stepped around him, and you froze, peering back at him wide-eyed.

"Come," he murmured. "I would be a horrible King if I let you go off without feeding you."

You bit back the words. You already are thought to be one.

You weren't sure what you were supposed to say. If you were found out to have gone with the King, you'd face consequences. If they found out you'd denied the King, you'd face consequences. You already were once they discovered you'd ventured into part of the castle that'd been off-limits to you for the evening. So you nodded and went with the man you were still conflicted about.

He brought you to a small office where a desk sat unused, the curtains were drawn, and a couch seemed way too plush. Stay he said before he disappeared, so you sat atop the desk, a small sign of disobedience you hoped Viktor wouldn't punish you for. A small part of you figured he wouldn't, but he was still the King. Even if your small interactions made your heart flutter in a confusing way, he was still the fucking King.

The King who came back with a plate of food that smelled so delicious you were worried you'd started drooling. He said nothing about you sitting on the desk. All he did was smile, walk up, and sat his cane and the plate down. He held up a piece of what looked like steak, his eyes twinkling like the damn stars in the sky, as he waited for you to part your lips before he fed it to you.

You moaned. You'd tried not to, but when it was the most delicious thing you'd ever tasted and it was fed to you but the literal King, it was hard not to. And the smile he gave you, so self-indulgent and cocky, one you never expected from the man who oozed anger whenever he sat on that damn throne, who'd only given you boyish grins until now. It made your heart stop.

"Good?" He asked. You nodded. "Then have more."

"I do believe," you spoke slowly as to not sound so affected by his presence," that I am the one who's to be feeding you, Your Majesty."

Something sparked and Viktor leaned in.

"Oh, you are?" His hand came up and cupped your jaw. "I thought I was the one who made the rules, considering I'm the one with the crown on my head."

Your eyes shot up to that damn band of gold. You wanted to snap it in half.

"You hate it just as much, don't you?" He spoke against your cheek, breath tickling your skin.

"W-What?" You weren't sure if you were stuttering at the close contact, because you wanted more, or because he'd called you out so blatantly.

"The crown," he said as he picked up another small piece of food from the plate. His lips grazed your cheek as he fed you the dessert. A tang of strawberry, a hint of sponge, and the sweetness of cream. You sighed. "You glare at it every time I wear it."

How he could've expected any answer besides you melting against him was beyond you. His closeness, his lips grazing you, the damn food. You wanted to strangle him. You thought about it, too.

"Your Majesty-"

"Viktor," he cooed, "I love hearing you say my name, Miss (Y/N). It drives me wild."

"Viktor," you breathed, but not much came out. The damn tight dress. Too many emotions at once. Too many thoughts. Your eyes closed but you couldn't get your heart to stop racing. You clutched onto his sleeve as you trembled and you heard Viktor mutter something indistinguishable under his breath.

"I really ought to have a talk with them personally," he said, sounding as angry as he did when he spoke with Heimer and Jayce once. Hating how much he had to turn so many begging citizens away. "About these damn dresses."

He was between your legs, stepping forward until his chest was against yours, his hands sliding down your back. It wasn't as slow or methodical as it had been in the library. He tugged without restraint on the crisscrossing strings that held your dress tight. Each jerk making you gasp, and you wrapped your arms--and, shamefully, legs--around him until the dress was loose and free.

"There," he breathed out quietly. You didn't drop your legs from around him when you desperately knew you should have. It didn't help that when he pulled back, your dress caught against him, and it fell down your shoulders, exposing the low-cut slip you wore beneath. Neither of you parted.

A comprising situation with the King once more. Once again you would've laughed at the idea. Called them crazy. More so if they told you his eyes would drop to your chest, his hands would twitch on your waist, and his gaze would come up to meet your so hungry that they would draw you in like a magnet. You simply wouldn't believe them if they said he'd kiss you.

But, in fairness, he hadn't.

He devoured you.

And you devoured right back.

You weren't entirely sure who'd made the move. Just one moment you were staring at his mouth, silently begging to know what it felt like against yours. And the next, you were leaning forward and you had that question answered. Amazing. Soft and amazing. Perfect. He tasted like coffee and vanilla.

His hands roamed up to your ribs, but strayed no higher. He held you against him, hips still between your legs, and you held him even firmer against you. You wanted so much from him. To yell and scream, to strangle and kick, to kiss and devour. To take him right there. To let him take you right there.

You grabbed onto his shirt, wincing at the poor soul who was going to have to press out the wrinkles. But the guilt hadn't lasted long. Not when Viktor's tongue grazed yours and all intelligent thoughts drifted right out of your head. You'd tried to keep composure, but when one hand came up and skimmed your jaw, reaching back to tangle in your hair, you were hanging on by a thread. One that snapped as his nails scraped your scalp and he tugged your head back just enough to make you gasp. And you'd be damned if you didn't moan when he took that opportunity to deepen the kiss, his hips finally moving between your legs.

Not much, but enough to tell you how much he wanted you.

And, damn it, you didn't want it to stop. As shameful as you felt after everything, you wanted more. You were dazed from the kiss, barely able to keep up with your thoughts as you unclamped your fingers and attempted at undoing his shirt. Practically clawing at it to get it off.

That's when Viktor paused, breaking the kiss, huffing. You prepared yourself for disappointment. That he was just a King exercising his power, his intelligence, his charisma to play with you. Make you want something you could never in a million years have.

"Not here," he muttered. "If I am going to fuck you, Miss (Y/N), it's going to be in my bed where I can strip you down and taste every inch of you."

You moaned. Practically sobbed. Guilty pierced your heart but you'd be damned if you let it break it.

"And if I wasn't expected back at the damned ball..." He cupped your jaw so tenderly and shook his head. "That is where we'd be right now."

You cursed whatever compelled you to speak because all you managed was, "don't go."

And Viktor laughed. He laughed. That was your undoing.

"Do not worry," he breathed, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck and kissing the soft spot beneath your ear. "I do not intend to leave you in such disarray."

His hand snuck beneath the skirt of your dress and you practically vibrated as it skimmed your inner thighs. Your teeth captured your bottom lip and you whined--never once had you whined for someone until now--when he stopped just before he reached the apex.

"May I?"

You would've begged if you'd had it in you. But you were trying to maintain some dignity. So you nodded. And it all disappeared when his fingers ran between your folds, the tips grazing your clit and making you jump.

"Miss (Y/N)," he breathed as he ran the same teasing line. "Fuck."

You'd said the word dozens of times yourself. But from him? It felt a dozen times dirtier. And you committed it to memory. You were going to hear it every time you thought about the evening. Every time you looked at him. You'd think about him whispering it against your neck as his fingers spread you, his teeth dug into your skin, as he visibly ached to touch you.

And then his fingers found your clit. So damn easily, too. The precise, languid circles he ran over it were already driving you mad, your legs shaking as you tried to slow the coil that was tightening in your abdomen.

"I have not stopped thinking about you," he whispered as he slipped two fingers into your entrance. You buried your face in the crook of his neck to hide your whimpers. "My mind, I must admit, does do not you justice."

You nearly lost yourself at that. He angled himself so his palm grazed your clit with each pump of his fingers, with every movement of his hand as he curled them inside you. You wanted more than his fingers. You wanted him to take you right there on the damn desk. He could've. You would've let him without a second thought. Who needed a bed when you'd throw him in the desk chair and ride him until you were moaning his name. Until he was moaning yours.

"Fuck," you whined and Viktor sped up his fingers.

He felt so damn good. You'd watched him use those fingers to write, to eat, to argue. Hands gesturing, fingers twirling quills, it was torture. What little alone time you got by yourself, you imagined they were the ones making you bite your lip to the point of nearly breaking the skin. That he had you on his lap, legs spread, whispering how good you felt as you came around his fingers.

"Please," he spoke against your skin. "Do not make me leave this room without making do on my promise."

You would've laughed if you weren't on the edge already. Your walls squeezed his fingers and he grinned against you. He curled them a little harder, a little faster. He sucked, licked, dragged his teeth along your neck. Reached his hand up and yanked on your hair, angling to give him better access.

You weren't a begger. Not with him. You'd told yourself that.

"Please," you whimpered. "Don't stop."

"As if I have zero intention of doing so." His mouth brushed the shell of your ear. "Now be good and cum for me like I know you want to."

You did. He held your head back so you couldn't bury your face in his neck. And he watched. He watched you come undone. As your walls strangled his fingers, as your back arched, your eyes closed. As your muscles tensed and you fought the moan that still burst its way out. A strangled mixture of his name and just fuck.

He didn't remove his fingers until a few tears slipped down your cheeks and you slumped against him.

"Now that," he cooed as he brought his fingers up to his mouth. He groaned as he licked them clean, and you were ever thankful you decided to open your eyes as he spoke. "Is what's going to get me through the days until I can have you for myself."

"And when, Your Majesty, do you expect that to be?"

He cocked a brow.

"For all we know," you huffed, "my parents could pay off the debt before our paths ever cross again. I am kept rather busy here."

He grinned and kissed you. Long and hard. He redid your dress before speaking. Waiting until he was at the door to the room, ever the dramatic, he was.

"Then I better start sneaking away more often. Good night, Miss (Y/N)." He nodded towards the plate. "And, please, do make sure you eat."

Pay attention.

Just an FYI. The FDA is not allowed to announce any food recalls due to the health communications pause the current administration enacted. You can still find this information by visiting USDA the site directly.

https://www.fsis.usda.gov/recalls

Here’s the fda link to use to search for recalls, safety alerts, and market withdrawals.

https://www.fda.gov/safety/recalls-market-withdrawals-safety-alerts

So, while you are making your grocery list, you may want to visit the recalls list since there’s no public communication right now.