Pro Tip: If You Know A Narcissist Who Tends To Oscillate Between “I’m Upset, Why The Hell Isn’t

i think it took me so long to realize i have NPD because part of my narcissism is masking my symptoms too be better than people.

even though the fact i’m getting ignored is pissing me off, i’m not gonna lash out- because that’d be immature. and the people ignoring me right now are immature. and i am better than them. so i will be mature about this.

i’m not going to point out i’m better than most people (even though i am) because that’d probably hurt their feelings, and hurting people is below me. i’m better than that.

I <3 my fellow narcs. You're getting booped!

NPD Resources Masterlist

[BPD]

The official resources masterlist for NPD. Includes all the links I've shared in the past and stuff I haven't.

Any posts I've linked about supporting those with NPD have been put in the misc section because I do not want to take away from what this post is really about, which is helping people with NPD, not the people around them.

Diagnostic criteria

NPD diagnostic criteria, rewritten by someone who has it

Official diagnostic criteria

An explanation of the diagnostic criteria

Recovery resources FOR the narcissist

NPD recovery resources

How to find therapy for NPD, common types of therapy and signs of an abusive/toxic therapist

Narcissist supply

What is narc supply?

Things that can give a narcissist supply

NPD stigma

The perception of NPD symptoms vs. how a narcissist might actually experience them

Why those with NPD have a hard time seeking help (spoiler alert: it's not because they're unaware)

A plea from someone with NPD (and some resources debunking common misconceptions)

Narcissism is not abusive / abuse is abusive

Debunking common myths on NPD

Common disproven myths about NPD

Miscellaneous

How to support someone with NPD

NPD Carrd (What is NPD, dpt skills and self-help)

Unravelling the connection: npd as a trauma response

NPD terminology (do's and dont's)

NPD safe blogs

@empath-abuse-awareness

@enigma-in-reality

@loverofmirage

@the-npd-culture-is

@nicepersondisorder

@theegosystem

@mischiefmanifold

NPD positivity so you don't have to go looking

Reblog to kiss a narcissist on the forehead

Reblog to tell your local narcissist that they're the best ever

Happy NPD appreciation day

Positivity for systems with NPD

Be normal about narcissists unless it's to give them love

NPD should be EPD (Epic Personality Disorder)

Of course I have a praise kink, I have NPD

Narcissists are so beautiful and handsome and wonderful

Positivity for narcissists who like sex

I love my narcissists

Aromantic narcissists are amazing

Narcissists I love you

Easy ways to spot a narcissist (it's not what you think &lt;;3)

Narcissists deserve to be loved

As usual, if something needs to be deleted because it's wrong/comes from a toxic author/etc. please let me know. I tried to look on Google but all I found was ableist shit, so these are all found by your fellow narcissists on tumblr :)

Edit: If you have any resources, please send them to me through an ask or DM and i'll check it out/add it!

Tips for Cluster B Anger

~ coming from someone who has BPD and a psychology special interest Have you been feeling like your anger is completely uncontrollable and all encompassing? Do you feel like your anger controls you more than you control it? Me too! But here are some things I've found to be helpful: - Taking notes. Write down triggers for what causes your anger episodes (as well as other episodes e.g sadness or paranoia) once you come down from it and start looking for a pattern. Not only will this help you to slow down and self reflect, you can begin to either avoid those triggers or find ways to regulate the effects. - SLOW DOWN. If something is making you want to hurt someone else or yourself, slow the FUCK down. Push against the grain, step back and let yourself have a good cry or scream into a pillow. Do whatever you can to (healthily) process the emotions, no matter how long it takes, before making major decisions. - Avoid self harm, substances or unhealthy habits like disordered eating or emotional self harm. It's so tempting, believe me, but it will only serve to make things worse. You might feel like you want it to get worse now, but in the future, you WILL regret it. If you start feeling these urges, refer to the urge surfing diagram below this. - Get outside advice. Think you're splitting but you can't tell? Run the situation by a close friend or loved one and see how they feel about it. Try to relay it with as little bias as possible and see if they agree with the decision you're about to make or if you perhaps need to reevaluate some things. - Take care of your heart. I know this is cliche, but a good sleep schedule, hearty food consumption habits, hydration, exercise routine and mental health care go a long way in helping you succeed in the above tips. You are struggling with an illness, and ill people need as much care as possible. Become your own parent. This works for anger in all Cluster B personality disorders, as well as with autism spectrum disorders! Urge surfing:

Everyone is all for celebrating neurodiversity until you're the "wrong" kind of neurodivergent.

me, pretty certain i don’t have NPD

my friend hyping me up and saying shit like “it’s because you’re the best!” in casual conversation

being friends with other people who have personality disorders >>>

being able to understand each other’s paranoia

being able to understand each other’s world view

just being able to talk freely about your experiences without fear of judgement

ASPD Resource Dump

feel free to reblog! here are some resources related to ASPD that i've collected since i've being diagnosed (roughly 5 years).

Sympathetic Articles

An Autistic Sociopath's Story, Cassy, through Special Books by Special Kids (video. an autistic pwASPD talks about her life and experiences with both.)

An Interview with a Sociopath, Dyshae, through Special Books by Special Kids (video. a pwASPD and bipolar disorder talks about his life and experiences with both.)

Life With Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD), Andrew, through mind.org.uk (a pwASPD's account of their life and experiences with it.)

The Hidden Suffering of the Psychopath, William H. J. Martens, MD, PhD (a sympathetic view of pwASPD, and some information on the neurobiology of ASPD.)

Factors for Development

Antisocial personality disorder in abused and neglected children grown up., B. K. Luntz, C. S. Widom (from 1994. provides evidence supporting the fact that child abuse/neglect is a predictor of antisocial behavior.)

Antisocial Personality Disorder with Childhood- vs Adolescence-Onset Conduct Disorder, Risë B. Goldstein et al. (from 2006. discusses how symptoms vary in pwASPD whose conduct disorder began in childhood vs in adolescence.)

Predictors of antisocial personality: Continuities from childhood to adult life, Emily Simonoff et al. (from 2018. draws connections between childhood behaviors, diagnoses, etc., and antisocial behavior in adulthood.)

Risk Factors in Childhood That Lead to the Development of Conduct Disorder and Antisocial Personality Disorder, Stacey E. Holmes, James R. Slaughter, Javad Kashani (from 2001. covers multiple categories that may lead to development of CD and/or ASPD, including environment, genetics, and individual differences.)

Miscellaneous Articles

Antisocial Personality Disorder: Neurophysiological Mechanisms and Distinct Subtypes, Sean J. McKinley (from 2018. proposes three diagnostic subtypes for ASPD: primarily detached, primarily disinhibited, and combined.)

Executive function, attention, and memory deficits in antisocial personality disorder and psychopathy, Michael Baliousis et al. (from 2019. discusses some neurobiology of ASPD, and how it effects executive function, attention, and memory.)

Self-mutilation in antisocial personality disorder, M. Virkkunen (from 1976. reports on self-injury behaviors in pwASPD, and details their motivations.)

Inspired by @arrgh-whatever's post on helping ppl with BPD

Edit bc I forgot to add this: Being vulnerable means smth different for different ppl, something that could read as being vulnerable to you can read as just another Tuesday for someone else

ID under the cut

[ID: a simply-drawn comic, narrated by a person coloured-in in pink.

Panel 1: The pink person narrates: "So there's a lot of "signs your ex is a narcissist and how to deal with them" and it's not very accurate. So here's how to actually "deal" with a narcissist from someone with narcissistic personality disorder."

Panel 2: This panel has the heading: "1. Supply." The pink person narrates: "People with NPD have very fragile self-esteem, and supply is what keeps us from having a mental breakdown. Supply can be many things, but often attention and praise are effective. Stuff like "Wow! That's super cool!!" can go a long way." A person is shown saying this to another person, who smiles.

Panel 3: This panel has the heading: "2. Criticism." The pink person narrates: "Oh boy. So narcissists take things as personal very easily. It's because if anyone contradicts our delusions that we have built our entire self-image on, it feels like you are attacking us as a person." There is an example shown, where one person says "hey, you were a bit too rude back there," but the other person hears "You're an awful dick no-one likes." The alternative manner of phrasing is suggested as "Hey, you were a bit too rude. You're cool, but some people took it poorly." The second person in this example thinks "I'm still a cool person. It's not my fault, but I can do things to be better." The narrator continues, "We don't really understand the concept of a harmless mistake."

Panel 4: This panel has the heading: "3. Boundaries." The pink person narrates: "With narcissists, setting down strict boundaries is very important. 1. Knowing we have hurt you because you didn't set down boundaries can really upset and annoy us because the delusions that we can do no wrong and know you best get broken. 2. If you let us break boundaries, it can lead us to see you as "weak" and devalue you. Communication is key."

Panel 5: This panel has the heading: "4. Anger." The pink person narrates: "So people with NPD tend to be prone to anger. This is a defense mechanism, because to us, it's either facing the inaccuracies of our delusions and having a mental breakdown, or blaming something else. We do not mean to lash out; we just don't have the skills to cope properly. You can help by: 1. Letting us express out emotions without judgement; 2. giving us praise or attention; and 3. Distracting us from what angered us." Each example of how to help is accompanied by a small cartoon.

Panel 6: This panel has the heading: "5. Other NPD things!" The pink person narrates: "'Love bomb, devalue, discard' is actually: we are genuinely obsessed with you and want you to recognize us as cool, we lose that obsession and move on, we feel threatened in some way and lash out. We can't really handle being seen as vulnerable. We take sympathy and empathy as pity and pity as you telling us we're weak. Not acknowledging we're being vulnerable and acting as if nothing is wrong can be helpful in these situations. People with NPD have a very warped view of reality. We do not mean to hurt you and often do not realise we have. Remember, this won't work for everyone, and talking is very important."

/end ID]

Ty to @aromanticsky for the id