You know who this mf look like lowkey?
LOOKKKKKK
Casual
idk how to flirt but i can make things awkward if you're into that
Me on my way back to Ithaca (Lunch period) after 20 years (2 weeks) of waiting, a war (math class), and, an epic and treacherous journey (trying to get past slow walkers) to finally see my wife (gf) and son (my phone).
Since TikTok wants to be an asshole (flag my post), enjoy.
It’s funny.
Well, not really.
Theres nothing humorous about disgrace.
A fall from grace if you may.
A sinner.
I’m supposed to pray—
be thankful,
feel content with what the Lord has given me.
(I’m not.
I don’t pray.
I’m not a prayer.
I’m a sinner.)
Instead, I’m hateful and resent the curses—the wrong I’ve been ridden with,
The curses that have burrowed and brew in my skin.
The wrong that I can’t get rid of.
(I can’t cut them out.
I can’t cure them,
Because it’s apart of me.)
Embedded in my veins,
My skin,
My intestines,
And I just can’t seem to throw them up.
Intertwined so deeply into my soul they cannot be removed.
(I was born a “queer”
A “black sheep”
A “cross-dresser.”
My curses.
I’m a sinner.)
On my knees—
I beg and wail for forgiveness,
Trying to think of what I’ve did to deserve the body I’ve been shoved into.
What I’ve done to be cast as a “burden”
A “mistake”
A “Defect”
“Useless.”
(I’m a sinner.)
I’m forever hoping-
praying he’ll put me in a better body.
(Now I pray
I pray to undo
my mistakes,
To become a saint.
But none the less
I’m a sinner.)
One that does not sin
One that isn’t weak, no
One that’ll get me my place in front of the pearly gates
because in this body,
I’ll never be worthy.
Maybe God was not who crafted me, no
Twas’ Satan who did.
(I’m a sinner.)
I’m no child of God
Not by choice, no
I’m child of Satan,
“Broken, an enemy of God.”
He could never accept such disdain.
(I’m a sinner.)
“Thoughts and prayers.”
Condolences to a lost soul.
(A soul of which is mine.)
“God bless you.”
Isn’t enough to fix a bastard.
(I’m a child of sin,
Of sinners.
I’m a sinner.)
He says, “If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall surely be put to death.”
(I ought be to maimed
disowned—
dropped into the eternal flame
as though;
I am a sinner.)
always an angel, never a god 🤝 i'm not the moon, i'm not even a star
-JJ Maybank