It's Been A While Since I Had Some Medication Issues But Here Is How The Third Is Comming Along.

I've never been terribly active here but I've returned to share my favourite patterns that make me slightly uncomfy and/or ready to star in an absolutely CRACKING sci-fi miniseries, please enjoy.

DEGEN ADULT EYES SWEATER by Lindsay Degen

Who WOULDN'T want this Biblically accurate sweater? The perfect attire for every horrifying occasion.

#22 Raglan Sleeve Pullover by Laura Zukaite

The rather staid naming of this sweater belies its Mad Max energy. After the apocalypse comes for us I hope we can at least dress like this.

Open Waters Shawl by Melanie Berg

A good shawl to wear to a duel to the death with your mortal enemy, if your mortal enemy has trypophobia.

Romanesco Jumper by Ranti Ehinmola

Honestly, the number of variations shown in the project photos for this pattern is amazing. Not only can you fulfill your dreams of looking like a 5th Element villain, you can do it your way.

DEGEN HOLE SWEATER by Lindsay Degen

This is a practical pattern for people like me who are in denial about living in a desert and stubbornly insist on wearing knitwear despite ample evidence this is a bad idea.

Wilderness by Martin Storey

I absolutely adore the 1950s farmhouse vibe of this photo and the beauty and poise of the model juxtaposed with the fact that she looks like a human bittermelon and she is fucking KILLING it

# 17 Patterned Sweater with V-Yoke by Sabrina/Sandra team designers

An unassuming mass-produced pattern from the 90s that, just coincidentally, looks like something you'd wear to head an intergalactic delegation.

Blume by Norah Gaughan

Speaking of space sweaters, here's another that wouldn't look out of place on the bridge of a starship.

Mullion by Martin Storey

This one, on the other hand, looks more like attire for a... space council?

Space Odyssey by Anna Strandberg

This pattern is literally called "Space Odyssey". The author definitely knows.

Dark Moss Pullover by Teti Lutsak

Bringing things back to Earth, the way these broad cables fade into the fabric reminds me of my desire to be buried in one of those mushroom suits after I die. Your interpretation may vary.

Waterbender by Yiğitcan / Pufido

The ultimate in dramatic sleeves.

Day Dreams by Stacy Collingham

Finally... I think the Power Rangers fought this sweater.

First I love being on my ADHD meds

Second, fuck the FDA and the state I live in fir making all ADHD drugs so hard to get. I do relize that they can be abused by nuritypicals ....but there has got to be a better solution then this.

Anyways on to better news.

My medicated ass.had an idea this moring....for the 7th,

I was always going to do a big drape lacy flowery daisy chain neckas for the 7th, but I just realized that instead of a simple.drape pattern I could use chain to make lungs

Here is my breif concept drawing....

The large rings in the drawing are the large hammered silver(plated) rings. The black lines forming the lungs will be out of the silver and green modified daisy chain.

The dotted lines will be out of fine silver chain. I'll have to purchase that

Here is the rough draft for the back and sides all out of silver chain. I don't think I will be able to get the efect of inflated lungs unless I create a secondary anchor chain around the back like a harness.

So now I need to plot out the mesuments for the lungs.....

These lovely pictures give me an approximate location and a size ratio I can measure on myself.

I may have to lie down on the floor and have my sister use a heavy cord to map put the shape....or better yet I could do that on her.

The other option is to use all those years of math to map out the archs I want on the images I found, to get actual measurements

Jeasus christ.....I just realized I'm trying to reinvent hanahaki

Oh well....I like it, it's going g to be so much work.

And not at all I my colors....

I'm so excited

You ever catch yourself staring at a coworker’s sweater too closely? Like oh man that’s a nice sweater how could I knit that for myself, but you’ve been looking too long counting the rows of rib and the person’s starting to look at you like wtf…

So while I was getting my haircut, the lady asked me if I had other plans for the day and I said:

“I’m just going to pick up the boy from daycare and then it’s date night.”

And the lady says “Oh! How old is he?”

“He’s three.”

“Mine too! Where are you registering him for kindergarten it’s such a hassle-”

And that’s when I realized I said “boy” and not “dog” because I always think of Charlie as “good boy” but this slip up has lead to a miscommunication.

The lady is now 6 minutes into a clearly needed rant about how unnecessarily complex shopping for schools is, esp when you have a neurodivergent child, so I can’t just tell her that Charlie is a dog because then she’ll feel awkward for unloading on me and she clearly has enough going on.

So the rest of the haircut became a game of “how much can I say about Charlie without revealing that he is not a human child?” And the answer is “enough to cover a half hour hair appointment, quite possibly several hours worth if I’m specific enough”

An old and homely grandmother accidentally summons a demon. She mistakes him for her gothic-phase teenage grandson and takes care of him. The demon decides to stay at his new home.

Another commercial I would produce as an advertising executive:

A husband and wife eat a bland dinner together in a dimly-lit kitchen. They don't speak or look at each other. The meal: a pathetic Salisbury steak.

Cut to their bedroom at night. The wife lays sleeping in the bed while in the background the husband is putting on her dress, pantyhose, pearl necklace, heels, makeup, and a wig. When he's done he quietly leaves the room. The wife opens her eyes as soon as she's sure he's gone.

Now we're in a seedy dive bar. A small crowd of mustachioed men wearing leather jackets, black boots, and sunglasses sip beers and puff cigarettes while the "show" unfolds. Camera pans down, then pans to the side. Between the black boots we see the husband on his hands and knees, greedily eating a Chipotle Chorizo Burrito Bowl with Cilantro Lime Rice from a plastic dog bowl on the floor. His makeup is ruined, face smeared with sour cream and hot sauce.

A man steps forward. The husband looks up, and his expression changes to that of a deer in the headlights. Cut to reveal that the "man" standing before the husband is none other than his wife, in elaborate drag as a Tom of Finland biker, false mustache and officer cap and all. She smiles warmly, and nods. The husband smiles too, and resumes his meal.

Chipotle: Own Your Fantasy

Propaganda

Carmen Sevilla (La fierecilla domada/La mégère apprivoisée, La Venganza, King of Kings)— One of the few spanish actresses to really make it in Hollywood. She worked opposite Charlton Heston in the 1970s and reportedly slapped him but that is past the cut-off so you can look it up for yourselves. There's also rumors that Frank Sinatra had a bit of a crush on her and asked her out a couple of times but she rejected him. The woman was just messy as hell in general and an absolute icon. Bless.

Simone Simon (Cat People, La Bête Humaine, The Devil and Daniel Webster, The Curse of the Cat People)— If she turned in to a panther and ate me I would be fine with that

This is round 1 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut]

Simone Simon:

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nothing lasts, really.

CLASSIC HORROR HEROINES SIMONE SIMON as Irena Dubrovna CAT PEOPLE (1942) dir. Jacques Tourneur I like the dark. It's friendly.

so so so so cute

one of simone simon's best remembered movies is cat people, one of jacques tourneur's great b-horror movies that's secretly a sensitive and tender examination of otherness, seriously i cry every time i watch it a short excerpt from cat people

She’s maybe not super well known to a lot of people but holy hell is she a stunner. I literally have her Cat People poster on my wall - she is amazing in that film, playing this tragic character (please go watch Cat People it’s this amazing tragic story of a foreign woman being caught up in a toxic relationship with a man who doesn’t believe her, plus cats). She’s so beautiful!! Look at her!!