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5 Reasons Highly Sensitive People Struggle With Loneliness

June 26, 2019

For the past month, I have debated on whether or not to post about loneliness as it can involve various factors or perspectives. I would also love to elaborate on this topic in my next article post as I am exploring ways to dissolve my own feelings of loneliness.

As humans, we are wired to connect with others and I believe it is an important need to be addressed. Without healthy connections, people usually try to meet these needs in a variety of unhealthy (self destructive) ways.

Although most people experience loneliness at some point in their lives, this feeling seems to come with the territory of being a highly sensitive person (HSP) on a chronic level.

Why Do We Feel Lonely?

The following list includes five common reasons HSPs may struggle with loneliness...

1. Self Isolation

Most highly sensitive people require plenty of alone time to process things (especially introverts). Although solitude is needed to recharge and protect our sensitivity, we can easily take our alone time too far without realizing it. Too much solitude can lead to self isolation. Experiencing overwhelming emotions may also lead to isolation.

2. Feeling Misunderstood/ Invalidated

Feeling misunderstood also seems to come with the territory of being an HSP. I believe one reason is that many of us want to be true to ourselves and express ourselves authentically in a society that encourages the opposite.

As HSPs, we tend to experience our emotions intensely and process things deeply. It can be difficult to express ourselves in ways non HSPs may understand and (often is misunderstood) as a result, many HSPs may feel invalidated. The HSP may have difficulty finding people that understand or validate their feelings or ideas.

3. Fear of Rejection/ Criticism

Along with feeling misunderstood, HSPs are prone to fearing rejection. Many of us struggle with social anxiety and may feel inadequate.

I believe that many people don't realize that HSPs tend to be highly self conscious and can be hard enough on themselves. The added pressure from other's criticism can simply be too much to process for an HSP. This can lead to withdrawal and loneliness.

4. Vibes

Hsps are often intuitive empaths that can pick up the energy from the environment or other's. We can also easily pick up on social cues, expressions, intentions or the underlying motives of other's.

HSPs may also feel super uncomfortable around "fake" people and want to avoid surface level friendships in general. HSPs tend to prefer deep and meaningful connections and conversations and may avoid certain people or situations if an uncomfortable vibe or feeling arises.

5. Rumination

Highly Sensitive people are known for having abundant inner worlds and a natural talent for creativity (which is amazing)! Unfortunately, this trait can also make HSPs more prone to rumination (overthinking/feeling about situations).

Rumination can also be linked to anxiety, depression, trauma, various forms of addictions (All can be isolating experiences).

The heightened state of anxiety associated with rumination may lead to a fight or flight reaction causing an HSP to either avoid social situations or negatively react. This can lead to more feelings of isolation, invalidation, and avoidance.

You Are Not Alone!

If anyone can relate to this article, please know that you are not alone in this world and your feelings are valid! There are others (including myself) that can relate and care!

I plan on writing more about this topic and my journey to dissolving my chronic loneliness.

If you can relate to this post or need to reach out, feel free to share in the comments! Thankyou very much for your support!

With Love, 

Dahlia

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10 Signs You May Be a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)

March 5, 2019

In a world where being sensitive is misinterpreted as being fragile or weak, many people tend to avoid there feelings and hide their sensitivity. We live in a time where society encourages us to run away from our genuine emotions and we are told to toughen up.

As HSPs, we tend to struggle with this because we have such sensitive nervous systems.This is not an indication, however, that HSPs are weak or damaged individuals.

Highly sensitive people are genetically wired to have finally tuned nervous systems and can easily be over stimulated by various factors(both external and internal stimuli).

Being on the receiving end of an excessive amount stimuli can be very overwhelming and stressful for HSPs. Being wired differently than most of the population can also make it difficult for HSPs to feel validated and understood. It can also make an HSP more prone to a number of physical and emotional issues. It's no wonder so many HSPs tend to need more time to retreat and spend more time alone than other's.

I know all too well how it feels to feel too much and suffer from various ailments ranging from depression and anxiety to chronic fatigue syndrome. I've always felt misunderstood or judged by many people. If you are going through anything like this, I'm here to assure you that you are not alone.

Fortunately, there are a variety of resources and tools that can help HSPs survive and thrive. I honestly don't know where I would be if I didn't learn about my HSP traits as well as related topics to the HSP.

Although I am still a work in progress, discovering that I'm a highly sensitive person and learning ways to work with this trait, has helped me become more self aware. It helped me realize that I needed to do more self care and enforce boundaries when needed. It helped me realize I need to stop being so hard on myself. It has also lead me to make connections to other related topics and have a better understanding of why I'm the way I am. Learning about all this has also helped me realize that being an HSP does not make me an incredibly flawed individual and has lead me to realize that I am not alone. Learning about being the HSP has also helped me find new ways of making my life more manageable.

In the next section, I wrote a list of 10 signs that you or someone you know may be a highly sensitive person. Not everyone will identify with every trait and having a small amount of traits is not an indication of being an HSP. I know there are many ways to list HSP traits and many of the traits overlap, so I summed up a variation of common traits into a list of 10 signs. Following are 10 signs that you or someone you know may be a highly sensitive person.

10 Signs You May Be A Highly Sensitive Person

1. You are Hypersensitive To The Physical Environment (Including To Noise, Sight, Touch, Smell, Taste, and Tempurature)

i.e. You may be hyperensitive to bright lights or noisy crowds. You may also embrace and appreciate positive sensory stimuli more than other's and may be more in touch with a beautiful work of art or be musically inclined. You may also prefer to be in nature.

2. You are More Emotionally Sensitive Than Most People and Have Been Told You Are "Too Sensitive"

i.e. You have felt misunderstood or have been told you are overly sensitive and that you need to grow "thicker skin". Some HSPs feel the need to avoid watching violent movies due to a high sensitivity to violence. Highly sensitive people also suffer from emotional issues such as depression and anxiety. On the other hand, being sensitive can be linked to that spark of creativity HSPs often experience.

3. Avoids Conflicts

Many HSPs fear making mistakes and fear rejection. There is also a tendancy toward perfectionism and avoidant behaviors. Many highly sensitive people are conscientious and have self esteem issues. An HSP may have a preference for introversion. HSPs tend to have difficulty making decisions or a tendency to procrastinate. Because many HSPs easily suffer from sensory overload, retreating alone in a peaceful environment can help HSPs recharge and feel less overwhelmed.

4. You Easily Pick Up On Other's Moods/ Behaviors (Or May Be Empathic)

This can lead to feeling emotionally overwhelmed, stressed, and can be very draining for HSPs. It may also be linked to various physical ailments such as having physical pain or fatigue. Being highly sensitive may also be linked to why so many HSPs are empathic and are more in tune with the needs of other's, including animals. They often are seen working in the helping professions or doing humanitarian work.

5. Intuitive

Many highly sensitive people tend to connect ideas and patterns that other's seem to miss. This may lead to being misunderstood by other's. It may also be why so many HSPs have been known to be innovative or create great works of art. HSPs often have the ability of finding new ways to solve problems.

6. Highly Imaginative

Highly sensitive people often have a rich or overactive inner world. This may be related to why HSPs tend to over think or over analyze situations. This may be a reason why highly sensitive people tend to worry a lot and may easily jump to conclusions about things. Highly sensitive people tend to daydream and may appear inattentive or "spacey" to non HSPs. On the same note, having a rich imagination can also spark creativity.

7. Sensitive To Energies

This may lead to over stimulation or feeling uncomfortable in an environment or around certain people or circumstances. This can occur because many HSPs may easily sense the vibes of a room or person. HSPs also tend to be spiritual and may be spiritually sensitive. Energy sensitivity can be a very enjoyable experience if the HSP is in tune with positive energies.

8. Difficulty Sleeping

With all the various stimuli emerging from various sources to the HSPs sensitive nervous system, it is no wonder HSPs are prone to overthinking and feeling. It is also no surprise that many HSPs suffer from sleep issues such as insomnia.

9. Attract Toxic Relationships

Many HSPs tend to attract toxic people such as narcissists or other unavailable people. This is definately where awareness and boundaries may come in hand. Although toxic people are often drawn to HSPs, a variety of people are also drawn to high sensitives in general. Many people are drawn to the caring and understanding nature of HSPs and turn to them for helping assistance, guidance, or for someone to confide in.

10. Do Not Like Being Micromanaged/Judged

Highly sensitive people tend to br hypervigilent to other's behaviors/cues and can easily become uncomfortable or anxious when it feels as if we are being observed under a microscope. This can negatively effect an HSPs performance or functioning, which can make matters worse.

Hopefully this post has been helpful in some way or has helped you recognize that you or someone you know is a highly sensitive person. Identifying as an HSP is one of the first steps to changing ones life for the better! So... Are you a highly sensitive person? Feel free to let me know in the comments. Thankyou and I will post again soon!

With love,

Dahlia

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