Same Man

I’m not even a gothamite anymore and refuse to die unless I see his stupid face in the obituaries or on the news.

HC that the average life expectancy in Gotham is actually four years higher than the national average because they collectively just keep refusing to die

Yeah, as someone who used to be a gothamite, this is what goons looked like, I actually recognize the guy in the blue jacket, his name is John, he’s surprisingly nice for a henchman.

I'm sorry but I will never ever use goon as slang for a guy who jacks off a lot or whatever it apparently means now. A goon is a guy in a clown mask and purple tank top who sees a caped crusader swooping down to beat up him and his buddies and yells "IT'S DA FREAKIN' BAT!" and I will accept nothing else.

Seems good

Alright ima write a little story for no reason

Spider-man in Gotham

Spider-man is zipping around, doing tricks mid-air as he tries to stop rhino from robbing the bank as he sees rhino charging into the vault. Then out of nowhere spider-man punches rhino, sending him back a few feet.

“I’m gonna be in so much trouble for punching an endangered species…”

Rhino then got up, wiped some dust off his chin and stared at spider-man

“Little spider trying to stop me from robbin’ the bank, huh? Go home.”

“What’s that?”

*Spider-man points to nothing, rhino falls for it€

*And then a fight breaks out, spider-man zips to rhino, punching his chin as he kicked him in the face. Rhino hits spider-man off of him, knocking him back. Then, rhino picks up a whole car and throws it at spider-man. Spider-man catches to car to save some nearby civilians, and then rather than throwing it back at him, he just… puts it down and continues by webbing up rhino’s arms.*

“I see you have good insurance, eh, rhino?”

“Shut up!”

*Rhino then charges at spider-man, spider-man dodges and then spider-man tries to shoot webs at rhino’s back to keep him from running through buildings… he fails as rhino runs toward the vault, slamming into it. The vault doesn’t break due to the durability of it, as the bank being robbed happens every Tuesday. It is theorized by some that the supervillains are friends and they have a certain schedule, like a 9/5 job but you steal shit and murder people.*

*Spider-man then taunts rhino, trying to get his attention*

“Come on, don’t do that, you’re bigger than that! I mean genuinely look at you you’re built like the brick walls you slam through. No way you’re natural-“

*That was enough. Rhino ran up to spider-man and tried to punch him in the face, he dodges (cause he’s spider-man of course he dodges) and counter-attacks by diving under the punch and slamming rhino’s arm to the ground. He then webs his arm up and goes behind rhino, hitting him a few times untill rhino breaks the webs, spider-man doesn’t have enough time to react so he slams into him, sending him flying*

“Not cool- you’re paying for my hospital bills.”

*Rhino let out a laugh*

“Little spider thinks he’s funny, eh? I have a joke too, wanna hear the punchline?”

“Go for it bud.”

*Rhino then tries to punch spider-man but he misses*

“Good joke bad execution mate. Work on your timing.”

“Anyways- you wanna just get a hotdog or something? Robbing the bank isn’t really a good way to spend your Tuesday-“

*Rhino attacks again, throwing a few haymakers he grabs a big chunk of concrete and throws it at spider-man. Spider-man grabs it with a string of web and throws it back at rhino.*

“Come on rhino it was worth a shot don’t get mad at me buddy-“

*Then rhino gets mad and tries to run into the mall, spider-man locks in and stops holding back. He goes in-front of rhino and grabs both his hands, rhino’s arms arguably being as big as spider-man’s whole body. Then he knocks back rhino, rhino doesn’t appreciate that at all.

*Spider-man then follows up by giving rhino a few nasty kicks to the jaw, staggering rhino as he then followed up by doing an unnessecary flip and slamming foot into rhino’s face and knocking him to the ground for a bit. Spider-man then tries to end the fight quickly by knocking out rhino without trying to give the man brain damage, which he does (cause he’s spider-man.) then, the police show up and arrest rhino and put him in prison again as spider-man leaves to go take a nap. Suddenly some weird magic happens (because of course it does because of the writers [trademark]) and he sees a portal on his way home. He sees a woman being robbed by some goons

“Gimme yer money, boss said they needs money for the plan [trademark]”

“Get off of me!”

*the woman struggled for her purse as spider-man’s spider-sense [trademark] went off, telling him not to go. But spider-man went anyways cause he’s spider-man. But then, a strange man in a bat suit shows up, and takes on all 5 at once. One starts shooting bullets at the batsuit man, he rubs it off as he punches the goon, leaving him on the floor as another tries to hit the guy in the head. The man-bat grabs the bat and throws it on the floor, then throwing a smoke bomb on the ground as he kicks the goon in the back. The other 3 try to run away but he knows them out with batarangs*

Spider-man looks confused

“How did you-“

“I’m Batman” [trademark]

Never expected him to do a episode on bat burger

New from Mora 🤩

You just described my grandma

HC that the average life expectancy in Gotham is actually four years higher than the national average because they collectively just keep refusing to die

Can’t believe despite working with him for a while I never noticed he looks like Clint walker, my grandpa was obsessed with the man

Today on Daily Planet Media; Reporter Clark Kent reviews and ranks his Lookalikes! Featuring Lois Lane.

Yeah, he has a good relationship with THE big blue boyscout.

saw an opportunity to draw something silly.

I’ve once heard Clark say that “good is hard, bad is always easy” I don’t fully understand what that means but I’ve been trying to live by it

Inaccurate, every woman in Gotham has some method of self defense, my mom still has her taser even after we moved from central city to metropolis

I'm sorry but I will never ever use goon as slang for a guy who jacks off a lot or whatever it apparently means now. A goon is a guy in a clown mask and purple tank top who sees a caped crusader swooping down to beat up him and his buddies and yells "IT'S DA FREAKIN' BAT!" and I will accept nothing else.

Ok I’m willing to bet that the “superheroes shouldn’t exist” guy is lex luthor on an alternate account.

worldbuilding: the threequel

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