If I Keep Rewatching Mha I Can Will Endeavor To Kill Himself

au where toya stays part 4 (?). hawks and touya meet at endeavor's agency whether they want to or not heh (some lore in the tags)

he’s worse than ever

Jajajaja

Todoroki siblings reference by PH6y0 (ages, heights, hair colors)

its the stinky guy

25yo bakugo ❤️‍🩹

Hi! I saw some people saying that Hawks is gonna have a mental break, but honestly I don't see that happening currently, do you think there is a chance for that?? (I tough only him realizing that villains can be saved through Ochaco but nothing more than that maybe him been involved on the Todoroki plot but it's seems that they are now far away from him)

Maybe you are focusing on the extreme negative connotations with the word "mental break" and not really reading it for what people mean when they say that, which is:

Hawks's walls that close him off from everyone and everything and his own true emotions need to finally come down. And that happening is not going to be a fun or smooth or easy process. He needs to "break", as in, those mental walls/barriers need to break. And with that, an emotional and mental "break" should follow behind it.

I can vouch for several friends of mine who desperately want to see him cry. That's really what people mean when they say mental break. Because Hawks won't cry, he won't express hardly any emotion right now because he's not facing what he's done and what he really feels. I wrote about the villains needing to CRY and I feel the same applies to Hawks. The cathartic emotional and mental release people are wanting is because they want him to face his actions, face how he really feels about them, and challenge his way of thinking. That is not an easy process (See: Tomura), so it shouldn't just be something he casually shrugs off like no big deal. If you're thinking people are wanting a legit psychotic break then no, that's not true. And if they are, well, weird, but that's not the crowd I'm talking about here.

I'm sure you didn't want a whole thoroughly thought-out response to this but this is the consequences of your actions (jk)

You brought up Ochacko as Hawks realizing villains can be saved, and yes I agree that's a thing that should happen. Hawks killed Twice, and then proceeded to say he wants to be like Twice. That is not a normal thought process. And in the act of killing Twice, he struggled internally due to his own conflicting feelings on the Jin Bubaigawara he grew a sort of attachment to before the PLF raid, and used language indicating that he genuinely felt pretty fondly of Twice---and then proceeds to stab him in the back (literally). I highly recommend checking out @transhawks meta on the interaction between Hawks and Twice before he killed him, as it really points out some of the emotions Hawks was cycling through in that moment. Also, re-read that scene anyway because you can clearly see Hawks struggling with the situation, only to snap at the end.

So again, even within the context of fictional bnha it's not normal for Hawks to stab a guy in the back and murder him, express pretty much zero remorse about it at all, and then proceed to say you want to be like him because you like him as a person.

Hawks and Twice were put into a mirror situation of Izuku/Tomura, Shouto/Touya, Ochacko/Toga. Twice was Hawks's villain. And Hawks actually kickstarted the whole narrative of attempting to save a villain you've formed a connection with by appealing to their needs in some way and using who you are as a person to that villain. The thing about their situation is that Hawks failed. For obvious story-telling reasons, like he can't accomplish what the kids' goal is before they do, before they even get a chance to entertain the idea of it. But for character-related reasons such as Hawks refusing to face himself and be vulnerable. Twice was just openly vulnerable 24/7, but Hawks didn't let his walls come down even one bit, which was the problem in their dynamic. The problem extends beyond that because Twice is gone now, and you can see that Hawks won't even be vulnerable within himself, to himself, for himself. He just won't do it. And with these hero/villain pairs the manga has set up for the end game, vulnerability from BOTH sides plays a huge part in the kids succeeding at their goal of saving. Hawks refuses to do that, so therefore he failed.

And rather than reflecting on his time since then, what we get when Toga!Twice shows up again:

is Hawks immediately resorting to killing him again, still not facing the mess of a situation it was when he did it for real back in the PLF war.

When Hawks talks about Twice in the way that he does--such as wanting to be like him and liking him as a person (yk like when he killed him), it's framed pretty ominously:

And this panel brings me to his involvement with the Todorokis.

Do I know how Hawks's involvement with Toga will lead into/tie into his involvement with the Todorokis? No, I don't and can't really see the pathway YET, but he's tied to both and it's uncharacteristic of Hori's writing style to leave things unfinished/unaddressed, so I'm confident he's going to make it happen.

Hawks and Endeavor, my god. Hawks, for lack of a better way of phrasing it, wishes Endeavor was his dad. It's coded this way, Hori doesn't go out of his way to beat the allegations either with his art:

Hawks's parasocial attachment to Endeavor (who quite literally never pays any extra mind to Hawks or spares a thought toward him during this whole final arc (or ever tbh)) is not a good thing. It's not cute, it's not sweet, it's not a normal admiration. Hawks's commentary on the Todorokis, his intrusion into their conversation during the hospital chapters, his curiosity about special details (like Shouto's eye), him insisting on just supporting Endeavor literally no matter what--there is nothing positive about that. Hawks even says it himself that he admires Shouto for facing his family's problems, when Hawks never got to (through no fault of his own, but this is a testament to how he feels about the Todorokis). In a sense Hawks just...wishes Endeavor was his dad. I mean that's the most blunt way I can put it. He views Endeavor (the doll) as a source of comfort, like a child would/should their parent. Little Hawks and little Touya being placed in front of Endeavor, whose face is split evenly on the page, is not subtle. It's clear a choice has to be made, and Hawks is not the choice Endeavor is going to make. Touya is.

Now, if Horikoshi wants to write a satisfying conclusion for Hawks similar to that of the LOV setup to have an emotional catharsis moment later on, then he'll make this impact Hawks believably. That should NOT be something Hawks just shrugs off like it wasn't a big deal. Because it 100% will be/should be treated AS A BIG DEAL. He's clung to his image of Endeavor since he was a child. Endeavor the hero, who beats bad guys. Not Enji, the father who rejects heroism in the name of saving his villain son--who burned Hawks's wings and went after his mom let's not forget. That is not something we've seen Hawks contemplate internally. The whole fight Hawks is worried about Endeavor, meanwhile inside Endeavor's head he's thinking about himself or his kids. The relationship is not the two way street Hawks would want it to be. And it's gonna be made clear, and that should hurt.

So, two major things here that really shouldn't be just "¯\_(ツ)_/¯" moments for Hawks. Ochacko saving Toga (dressed as Twice) should be a pretty jarring awakening for Hawks that HE tried to save Twice, but he failed. But Ochacko is succeeding in saving Twice's friend. It should be a pretty upsetting event to look back on that situation and realize that killing Twice really wasn't the answer, or the only options, because Ochacko saving Toga (again, currentlydressed as Twice) is living proof. Hawks failed, and Twice, the guy he says he likes, is dead. Endeavor choosing family (Touya) over heroism (Keigo) should also be upsetting, because his childhood ideal Endeavor is gone.

Both of these things happening should be challenges to Hawks's thoughts and feelings about himself, and that should not be a smooth process that doesn't involve strong emotional reactions from the character. There's a LOT left to be done with Hawks and that's why people want to see it.

Am I confident that it'll happen to the level of that I am confident Tomura, Touya, and Toga will be saved? I wouldn't say I'm that high up on the confidence scale, just because Hawks has always been so weirdly handled by Horikoshi that I scratch my head at his choices with Hawks sometimes. But I AM confident they will be addressed. Hawks maintaining his cool guy demeanor would be really stupid and disappointing tbh, especially because the LOV losing their "cool" demeanor elevates their stories so well and I think Hawks deserves the same treatment.

The fact that pro hero Katsuki doesn't give a fuck about the rankings anymore means that it was always about Izuku.

He just wants to compete with Izuku; it's all he cares about and always has.

Nothing really means anything if Izuku is not by his side.

That's why he spent eight years saving money for that hero suit and making sure every piece of it was perfect for Izuku.

And it wasn't for love that you went back home