That Smile When She Ignore Her Trying To Tap Out

May we please see your nice boots?

I don’t post photos but if you feel like googling my two favorite pair are baby pink Fluevog Bond Girl boots (mind the buckle if you are humping) and 14 eye Docs in matte black.

Choosing a Chastity Cage

FLR Tips is the sister site to FLR Info, where you’ll find introductory information about Female-Led Relationships. If you’re new to this, you should head over there. This site is about the practical, day-to-day aspects of FLRs. It is much more explicit and quite sex/femdom-oriented.

By making your man wear a chastity cage 24/7, you can control his erections and orgasms. 

Stated matter-of-factly like that, it doesn’t sound like a big deal, but make no mistake - it is! Not only do you control his erections and orgasms, but he’ll be walking around with a constant reminder of your special arrangement, which goes a long way towards fulfilling his need for the arrangment to be rooted in something sexual and kinky.

In fact, I believe many FLR-leaning couples could simply add a constantly worn chastity device to their relationship and reap 90% of the benefits of a more elaborate FLR setup. The man gets his kink while at the same time building up his desire to serve, and the women gets her worshipping/pampering/sexual attention, without the ups and downs that comes with a man who can decide for himself when to become erect or have an orgasm.

But all of this hinges on the requirement that the man must wear the device constantly. Whenever you aren’t actively using his penis for something, it is securely locked away. In order to do this successfully, you’ll need a cage that works well with long-time wear, and that’s what the rest of this article is about.

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There are several factors you’ll need to consider when choosing a cage. Let’s go over them one by one.

Size

Men and their penises come in many different sizes, and you should choose a cage that fits your particular man. But what, exactly, makes a chastity cage fit?

In our experience, the most important factor when it comes to size, is that the part of the cage that holds the penis itself should be pretty short, so that even when his penis is in its most shriveled-up state, the tip of the penis will almost never have any clearance with respect to the tip of the cage - there should be contact at all times.

There are several reasons why this is a good thing. The most important one is that it makes night-time erections less painful. Somewhat unintuitively, the less room his penis has to grow, the less it hurts. When he can’t even get semi-erect, it prevents the cage from pulling too hard on his testicles (which is what causes the most pain).

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy the thought of him having some discomfort during the night, while I am sleeping like a baby after receiving my massages and orgasm(s) for the night. Even a small cage hurts a little, especially in the beginning, but not to the point that it causes a real issue. I want my husband to sleep well too, for the most part - it’s important for his long-term health.

Another reason we like a small cage is that it really does prevent him from getting an erection. It’s not just a slightly crippled erection that hurts in that good way - there is no erection, period. He’ll swell up, of course, and push the cage away from his body a little, but that’s it. And we enjoy the fact that the control I assert over his erections is real.

Finally, a small cage is easier to hide under clothes, especially if you get one with an integrated locking mechanism (ie. no padlock required), which I highly recommend.

Material

Chastity cages typically come in three materials: Plastic, silicone and metal. 

My distinct impression is that most people start out with a cage made of plastic. For the most part, they work really well as far as restricting the penis goes, and they are excellent starter cages to get a sense of how it feels to have one’s penis locked away, or how it feels to hold the keys to a man’s penis. And if you just want a chastity cage that you can use as a fun sex toy, they do the job admirably.

BUT, I do not want you trying to establish a long-term chastity regiment using a plastic cage. You see, the thing about plastic cages is that they are terribly unhygienic, in our opinion. After just half a day or so they’ll acquire an unpleasant odour, and they are notoriously hard to clean without being removed, which makes them simply unsuitable for our purposes.

Luckily, there’s a simple solution: Metal cages. I don’t know the chemistry behind it, but metal cages just don’t have any issues in this regard. And they are typically much more open, so my husband simply cleans the cage and its penile occupant every night with soap and water, while remaining locked, and it works like a charm. Both the cage and his penis dry up within minutes, with no moisture trapped inside the cage.

Not only that, but aesthetically speaking, metal cages are the only ones that work for me. They look masculine and shiny and incredibly solid (which they are), not to mention that they feel much better to touch and play with.

We have very little experience with the silicone ones, to be honest, and a big part of the reason is that they just seem too flimsy, too flexible. I’m sure they work for some people, but our tastes lie elsewhere.

So, metal it is. I’m sure you’ll find people who use plastic cages for long-term chastity with no issues, but this was pretty clear-cut for us. We moved on from plastic very quickly and haven’t looked back (or even sideways).

Security

By “security”, I mean the ability of a cage to ensure that the man is not able to free or stimulate his penis. The importance of this particular parameter probably varies wildly from couple to couple. 

For us, it isn’t terribly important. I can certainly see the appeal in having a 100% secure cage, but not if it complicates things in any way.

Most regular cages can be escaped from. It might not be easy, and it might hurt quite a bit, but most determined men can find a way to pull their penis out and do the deed. It might be very difficult to put it back in without the key, though, so those who hope to be able to slip it out at their convenience and then put it back unnoticed may be in for a surprise. But frustrated men are resourceful, if anything, so I’m sure there are those who can do that successfully too.

It boils down to trust and intent. If the cage is intended to be a tool to help you as a couple to achieve the amazing life hack that a successful FLR relationship is, then the hoops he would have to jump through to free his penis without the key should be enough to remind him that he is not supposed to do that, and continuing on that path could easily end up damaging the relationship - not because chastity is important in itself, but because it is a violation of trust, which is bad for any relationship.

It’s very simple in our relationship: By mutual understanding, any attempt to escape or cheat when the cage is locked means jeopardizing the entire FLR part of the relationship. Others might have a more playful attitude towards this, maybe even develop it into a sort of cat-and-mouse game where he is always trying to escape and she is always trying to come up with ever more secure cages. That’s fine, of course, but not for us.

So why not dispense with the cage altogether, if it’s based on trust anyway? Many reasons! It’s not all based on trust, there is a real barrier to cross to be able to circumvent the cage. And even the most devoted man cannot just decide to never have erections, simply to please his woman. Not to mention the joy of having an actual, physical cage and an actual, physical key, that, for the most part, work exactly as intended. We get a lot of pleasure from the chastity cage.

If security is very important to you, and you are not afraid to take things pretty far, you should do some research on urethra cages and/or Prince Albert piercings and cages that are designed to integrate with them. I’ve also been told that there are outfits that make custom-built cages that can be very secure. These apparantly cost several hundred or even thousands of USD, but go nuts if that’s your thing!

Other considerations

Price is obviously a factor for many people. A quality metal cage actually costs less than many of the plastic ones, typically in the range of 25-50 USD.

Where to get one? We have bought all our cages from an online store with the rather silly name Toys 4 Naughty Boys in the UK. Another company with a very nice selection is the US-based Lock The Cock, which also has a presence in Europe.

And, since I have already gotten this question many times, the cage we currently rely on for day-to-day use is the Tight Squeeze III.

I’m so hungry for a shy boy in bed… I want to tie his hands to my bed posts, strip him off his pants and see him turn crimson red in the face when I look at his body like it’s the most delicious meal I’ve ever seen. I want him to moan and squirm when I touch his hard cock the first time… begging me to stop but his body language will tell me otherwise.. slight thrust against my palm and later in my mouth. I want him to whimper and sigh, be noisy and desperate. I’m hungry for the look on his face when I slide his throbbing cock inside my pussy and feel him all the way in. When he tries to hide his face or bites his lips to muffle the moans I just part his lips with two fingers and force his mouth open, make him unable to suppress all the sweet sounds he makes while I ride him. What I want is a boy stripped off all the worries and thoughts that make him think he has to act cool. Act ‘manly’. I want him to lose a fight against boundaries and give in to the pleasure I cause. And I want to hear him cry my name as he cums.

locked 🔒

It was only a month ago that Angie had joined the company and was assigned the desk adjacent to Jack’s. She seemed nice and polite enough, while also being efficient and skilled at her job. A perfectly acceptable work partner.

She did though have one habit that he found… distracting. Whenever she would make casual conversation with him she had this habit of turning toward him, her sleek, toned leg swaying in a rhythmic, mesmerizing way.

Not wanting to risk being called to HR Jack did his best to avert his gaze and look away when she spoke to him. Unfortunately, she had this way about her… an authoritative demeanor… that made it difficult.

All it took was for Angie to say, “Jack? I’m talking to you… look at me,” in her soft, yet assertive tone of voice. Just a few words and he would find himself looking her way again, and without fail his gaze would inevitably drift back to the captivating sway of her leg.

Within a few days of working with her Jack found his mind beginning to drift with thoughts of her… inappropriate thoughts… fantasies of what it might be like to be with her.

Even though he found them to be unnerving in a way her couldn’t quite put his finger on Jack began to look forward to their casual chats.

There was something about the way she spoke to him… her choice of words… the cadence… the silky tone of her voice. He found it to be mesmerizing, as if Angie’s voice was weaving around him and drawing him in.

There were times when he found himself zoning out, like he was hearing her voice her but not the actual words she was saying. Instead he found himself gazing at her legs, his mouth hanging open, his mind disoriented… dazed… empty… and unwittingly now fully under Angie’s control.

He nodded mindlessly as her voice softly urged, “That’s it, Jack…. look at my legs…. watch them… they’re so sexy… they turn you on, don’t they?… you can’t look at them without getting hard… you can’t think about them without getting hard… you can’t think about me without getting hard…”

Day after day her suggestions continued, drawing him in deeper, becoming bolder, strengthening her hold over him until Jack was utterly defenseless against her.

Now, all that could save him were those times when Angie was merciful, flipping the switches and triggers in his mind in such a way that would allow him a chance to be productive at work and offer him a respite from the state of near constant arousal in which he now found himself.

But, the rest of the time?

Jack was a wreck.

And it wasn’t just the dreams when he’d wake up in a sweat, feverishly aroused, achingly hard, night after night cruelly waking from his dream just as Angie was about to fulfill his fantasy and give him the orgasm he so desperately needed. When without fail Jack would wake a moment too soon, deprived of his relief, so desperately frustrated that even his own efforts to find release proved to be futile. Instead, he was left to find his way back to sleep still desperate… aching… mindlessly whimpering Angie’s name.

It was also his conversations in the office with her. Those moments of feeling as if he were zoning out as they chatted began taking on a different tone. More erotic. More visual. And in a surreal way, more life-like.

The first time had left him feeling dazed, disoriented, and even embarrassed. As he listened to Angie’s voice he found himself losing focus, his mind drifting off to a fantasy in which he imagined he were kneeling before her, kissing her feminine polished toes, working his way up her sleek, sexy legs, adoringly worshipping them…. becoming so turned on… so hard…

Only to feel himself snapping out of his fantasy at the sound of her voice. “Jack?…. sweetie?… everything ok? We’re done talking now and need to get back to work, okay?”

He was mortified. Had he said anything? Oh god, had she noticed his face was flushed and his cock was straining against his pants? Fortunately, apparently he was safe, Angie seemed oblivious to his plight and was already back at work.

To his dismay these occurrences became more frequent. More erotic. More vivid.

The next time Jack imagined Angie’s voice urging him on even further, instructing him, guiding him. His mouth drifting higher up her calves… to her shapely thighs… her fingers entwining in his hair, nudging him higher… until he was between her thighs, kissing, licking, sucking… until it was as if his senses were being overwhelmed by the heat, scent, and taste of creamy female arousal.

But as suddenly as the fantasy began it was gone and once again he was sitting at his desk, frazzled, Angie’s voice bringing him back to reality.

Jack was at the point where just walking into his office and seeing Angie was unnerving, his cock stiffening, his mind whirring with a sense of helplessness as he wondered whether or not today he would again be slipping into one of those dream-like fantasies when they chatted.

They began to take on a new twist, not only did Jack imagine himself worshiping and pleasuring his work partner, but she was doing the same for him. Her soft hand stroking him… her tongue teasing him… the only difference was that unlike when he imagined licking Angie to orgasm, Jack always snapped back to reality before he could reach his.

It was becoming maddening to him. Was he losing his mind? Why did this keep happening to him?? Should he set up a session with a therapist??

And why in god’s name could he no longer get all the way to an orgasm?? Why did every fantasy, every dream, every hallucination always end a moment too soon and leave him aching in frustration?

Finally, one day after Jack broke free from one of his surreal fantasies he sat at his desk trembling… lightheaded… so disoriented and aching to cum so badly he thought he might break down and cry.

He began softly muttering to himself to the point that Angie called over to him and asked, “Jack? Are you okay?”

In a soft, weak voice he answered, “N-no…. I’m not. Something’s wrong with me… I… I can’t tell you what it is… but, something’s wrong. I… I think I need to make an appointment to see someone.”

To his surprise, he watched as Angie rose from her desk and approached him, standing behind him. She began speaking in that calm, mesmerizing voice that immediately caused his mind to open to her.

This time though, rather than rendering his mind completely malleable and taking him deep, she allowed a small portion to remain aware, just enough to keep him barely tethered to reality.

Gently raking her fingers through his hair she purred, “You’re fine, Jack… nothing’s wrong with you. I’ve got you.”

“I… I don’t understand?” His voice was soft, distant, but still coherent.

“You don’t need to understand, you just need to know that you’re mine now. All I’m doing is giving you what you want. I could tell the first day we met… how easily your mind surrendered to my will.”

“So… this… is real??”

Laughing softly Angie purred, “Well that depends on what you want. Do you want it to be real, Jack? Do you want more of what you’ve been experiencing?”

“Oh god….,” he moaned in excitement.

Pressing her lips to his ear, she whispered, “Do you want to be mine, Jack?… my toy?… my helpless, little plaything?”

“God yes!” he groaned.

Chuckling softly, Angie purred, “Perfect…. then, cum for me, Jack. Cum for me now.”

To his utter disbelief, a moment later a wave of pleasure washed over him and he felt himself cumming uncontrollably, releasing weeks worth of pent-up cum into his pants.

As one of the most intense, and without a doubt the most unexpected orgasm seemed to go on forever Angie’s voice cooed in his ear, “That’s it… don’t try to fight it, you can’t… cum for me…. don’t stop… give me all of it…. every… last… drop.”

When the waves finally subsided, Angie couldn’t help but smile at the sight of the dazed, disbelieving, and totally spent man. Kissing his ear softly she murmured, “You are sooo mine, Jack… and this is only the beginning.”