Fixed To The Bed

Don’t ask. Tell!

The other day I spoke with my beautiful fiancé more about wife led marriage and sent her a few articles on orgasm control, motivation, male submissiveness, and assertive speaking. She understands and agreed to most of it, but doesn’t like the sound of demanding things vs asking politely.

And I understand where she is coming from. She has a loving and caring character. She also is confident public speaker and doesn’t take shit from anyone. She stands up for herself aggressively but is very kind and selfless to the people that love her.

Because she loves me so dearly, she does not like the thought of speaking to me in a demanding manner.

Of course from a submissive perspective, being demanded is a way for us to serve and please — so her demanding is actually a loving act.

It won’t be an easy concept for her to adopt. I’ve been thinking about how to approach this and decided the best way is for her to learn to just remove the question mark.

Instead of asking like:

“Honey, could you please make me a coffee?”

(hoping he gets the hint) “I’d really like a coffee right now”

“Could you do me a favour and make me a coffee please?”

Learn to tell like:

“Honey… please go make me a coffee.”

“Go make me a coffee.”

“Be a good boy and go make your wife a coffee.”

Demanding can still be said lovingly. The difference is the aura of confidence and assertiveness. The demand will create an instant response in the submissive to act. Whereas a question will instead leave him thinking.

With a demand, the following responses from him are not possible:

“Not right now babe, I’m busy playing video games.”

“Sorry can’t at the moment, this film is getting really good.”

“I was just about to leave to go see a friend.”

Any failure on him to obey her command should be met with discipline at a later time. She must assert her authority. Otherwise he will learn to not follow her orders.

There are a few reasons why telling is better than asking:

It puts her needs above his, which makes him feel submissive

It displays her authority, which makes him feel submissive

He gets a “thank you”, “good boy”, or “good job” for successfully serving her — making him feel submissive

There is no ambiguity about whether the request is needed or not

It prioritises the demand over whatever he is doing right now

She gains a bit more confidence with every successful demand

Most importantly everyone is happier. She gets what she wants, and he gets what he wants

The difference is so subtle for her, but it’s a huge change for the submissive man. With asking him in a form of a question, you’re opening up to the fact that it’s okay if he says no. By telling him he must do something, he does not get to decide if and when. He doesn’t get to say yes or no. She wants a coffee. And she has decided that he is to make it for her.

Every girl knows when she asks her man to do something in a form of a question, she is secretly demanding. If he says no to her question, she will actually get pissed off inside and mask it.

It’s her soft way of telling, but the problem is he is not a mind reader. She should just instead tell him what she wants knowing that she is in charge. Be assertive. Have confidence in your decisions and actions.

It’s best just to be assertive and tell in the first place. It puts the man into a position of service, there’s no beating around the bush, and there is no room for the word no.

I believe every woman has it in her to learn to be assertive. It just needs to be allowed to grow and flourish.

He will be happier to please you by following your orders.

– R