I Spit In Your Face

I Spit in your Face

Hi guys,

This is the "companion piece" to "Open Wide". I started spitting in p's face long before I first spit in his mouth, but I don't mention it so much because I see it, alongside verbal abuse, in the context of degradation sessions, which can get very dark and which I prefer to keep private - well, details about the content anyway.

I actually use both verbal abuse and face-spitting together. I've done so since the early days of "breaking him in". The one develops out of the other. You are telling a man what a worthless piece of sh*t he is and sooner or later, you realise that actions speak louder (as in the title of p's recent post) and just gob in his face.

I have tried previously to write about one of these sessions in detail, but there are two problems with that: (1) during the session, I say whatever random sh*t comes into my head, so it can be hard to remember it all; and (2) when you see it written down, it looks awful and I just don't want it out there.

Actually, there's a third reason, which is that, to be really effective, the abuse has to be very personalised; so I'd have to tell you some highly personal stuff about p which has a deep emotional significance for him. It wouldn't be right to do that; it would be a breach of trust.

I'm not talking about stuff like the size of his d*ck; I don't even bother to go into that as it's not something he's really embarrassed about. It's little, but it's not freakishly small. I go into his previous relationships; rejections; virginity and sexual inadequacy; his more humiliating kinks and events that "trigger" deep emotions.

Do I genuinely upset him? Yes, of course; it doesn't work otherwise. Do I mean it? That's tricky. If I call him worthless, we both know I don't really think that; but much of what I say is (painfully) true. It's not really about meaning so much as whether I am really angry or disappointed with him; and that depends.

Why do I do it? Well, I might be genuinely angry with him, though that doesn't happen very often. More usually, I will do it for pleasure; and not just mine - I've said before how there's nothing guaranteed to make his dick hard more than spitting in his face or abusing him. It's not just pleasure, though.

I'm breaking his ego down (what's left of it) and rebuilding it on a foundation of my approval. I plunge him into a cold, dark pool to drown and only I can pull him out and save him; he depends on me to breathe, to see the light, to feel the warmth of another human being. He depends on me to have life and self-worth.

There's also a cathartic effect, not just for him, but for both of us. He is cleansed of all those negative thoughts and emotions, provided he focuses on me; I am cleansed of mine, my selfishness and cruelty, because he loves me unconditionally, because he worships me - this very flawed human female - as his personal Goddess.

N x [Confession: p helped me with the drafting of this post]

[Rather obviously, the top pic is from menareslaves.com and features Empress Jennifer; centre pic is from Mistress Lady Renee; and the bottom one is from the unfortunately named spittingbitches.com and features a model curiously named Ebony.

The last picture is a bit yucky, but I think it makes my point about face spitting belonging to degradation play]