Deterrent?

A Small Price to Pay

I am normally allowed release every 4-5 weeks, so I was hoping for permission yesterday. Instead, N told me it won't be granted for at least another week. She says that she wants me to feel her control and that means denying me sometimes when I have a strong expectation of permission being granted.

Naturally, I'm disappointed, but I understand her decision and just now I really am feeling her control as she says. She knows it is going to be difficult for me, so she has locked me in my cage for at least the coming week so that I can't succumb to the temptation to masturbate and ejaculate when I am alone.

I have said many times how much I hate the cage, but this is one of those times I really need it to ensure I don't disobey N. I can't stress enough how important I consider it is for me to obey her; it's not a question of fearing punishment, so much as undermining the main basis of our relationship. It only works if I choose to submit.

I'm not going to go around feeling sorry for myself. I find the best response is to accept her decision, embrace her control and re-double my efforts to serve and worship my Mistress. On the way home, I made a conscious effort to reflect on how great she is and how lucky I am to be hers.

I thought of her smile, how funny she is, how exciting to be with; how sexy, how adventurous, how perceptive; how completely she controls me. If she wasn't in my life, I could masturbate and ejaculate whenever I like, but what a lonely, pathetic life that would be; and I would be dreaming constantly of the one I have.

Being made to wait six weeks or more for the chance to come for her is a small price to pay, all in all; and the service I give isn't even part of that price, it is a privilege I enjoy. I sincerely thank N for allowing me to continue to wear her collar and for letting me post this in praise of her. Have a great week, marvellous Mistress.

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dangerousangleofadream

2 years ago