Dangerousangleofadream - Femdom

Am I a terrible person for ruining his bi-monthly orgasms?

FLR Tips is the sister site to FLR Info, where you’ll find introductory information about Female-Led Relationships. If you’re new to this, you should head over there. This site is about the practical, day-to-day aspects of FLRs. It is much more explicit and quite sex/femdom-oriented. Consider yourself warned.

With just six orgasms (or so) in the course of a full year, shouldn’t I be a good wife and at least make them really, really good for him?

This isn’t me asking, but it’s a question I get asked every now and then. It’s a fair question too, especially from women who are new to this, so I’m going to answer it as thoughtfully as I can.

But before we get into it, let’s recap what a ruined orgasm is. In FLRs and other femdom-type relationships, it’s common for the woman to control and restrict the man’s orgasms, typically using a chastity device combined with some rules and a shared understanding that it’s for their mutual benefit. Typically, the woman decides when and how the man is allowed to reach an orgasm. If she practices runied orgasms, she will endeavour to stop all forms of stimulation just as his desire pushes him beyond the point of no return. This causes the semen to trickle out in a seemingly frustrating and unsatisfying way, and, if done correctly, he will not lose his erection and will not feel “spent” and fulfilled afterwards, but rather be ready for more.

Let’s review the effects of this from both sides before we address whether it’s cruel to do this.

For the woman, it’s mostly benefits all the way. She gets to assert control and dominate one of the most fundamental aspects of being a man, with very little effort on her part. There can be a lot less mess - it’s easy to direct or collect his semen without any spillage. It can be very fun and rewarding for women who have a sadistic streak, which is quite common in femdom-type relationships. And, perhaps most importantly, he doesn’t collapse like a wet blanket afterwards, neither mentally nor physically. She can continue to play with him, or switch to being serviced herself - all without him losing interest.

As far as downsides go, depending on who you are, there might not be any. Maybe you get a big kick out of seeing him pump his semen flying through the room, and feel that you’d miss that? Well, just go ahead then - this isn’t about doing anything for the sake of it. Ruin him when you see the benefits of it, and have him go wild if that’s what you feel like.

How about the man? Are there any upsides to this for him? Perhaps surprisingly, there are several! He enjoys the sexual energy that he gets from being teased and denied, and with a ruined orgasm he barely loses any of it, while still getting a decent dose of satisfaction. Also, he can go right back to serving your needs with a genuine passion for it, without “faking it” for a couple of days. But most importantly, it plays directly to his kinks. Even though it feels frustrating in the moment to be denied a proper orgasm, on a deeper level he will revel in the transfer of power that is taking place, and the delicious unfairness of it all.

So no downsides for the man, then? Well, yes, there is one. I downplayed it in the previous paragraph, but it’s still a very real downside: He doesn’t get a proper orgasm! Being brought to a nice, fulfilling orgasm feels really, really good - most women living in FLRs are keenly aware of this fact, and enjoy plenty of them on a daily basis. Almost never experiencing one is definitely a downside, no doubt about it.

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So, back to the question at hand. Are you a terrible person if he only (or mostly) gets ruined orgasms on the rare occasions that he is allowed to have some form of release?

Unequivocally, NO. If your relationship is otherwise healthy, meaning that you love and respect each other and the FLR/femdom aspects are based on a mutual understanding and continually evaluated, then you have absolutely nothing to worry about.

Most men who have this particular kink are only too happy to be living with a woman who embraces and cultivates her demanding, sadistic, and selfish traits. This is what he WANTS - for you to put yourself first and to actively restrict his sexual pleasures. The unfairness of not only having to wait weeks between each release, but then only being allowed a degrading sham orgasm is a huge point in itself.

I’m being deliberately unnuanced here. Of course there are men who have different needs and wants - for real, not just playful complaining during sex. But that’s where the health of your relationship comes into play. If the relationship is healthy and based on mutual love and respect, you will soon enough discover that this isn’t working, either because he tells you or because you just sense it. And then you work it out.

So if your man appears happy most of the time, and continues to serve you eagerly, I wouldn’t worry about a little complaining when he is frustrated. On the contrary, I’d enjoy my power over him and remind him again and again of the old FLR/femdom aphorism:

Orgasms are for women.

Coronation.

Hunted

I sat in the limousine, my hands locked behind my back in handcuffs, not exactly the way I'd pictured riding in such a luxurious vehicle, as the woman who captured me made a call on her cellular phone.

"Hi Sydney," she said. "It's Jill. I've got him. He's all locked in handcuffs and I tied his feet once I got him in the car. We're on the way to you now so you can get the bounty. See you in a few hours."

She hung up as I glared at her. She smiled.

"Don't look at me like that," she said. "I'm not the one who had a fugitive warrant for my capture. It's not my fault I captured you, Mr. Griffiths. It's you who couldn't get away from me."

I blushed, shameful, enraged at myself. She'd approached me at an art exhibit, a very public event, and announced she knew who I was and that she worked for a bounty hunter who'd been contracted to capture me and bring me to face the warrant several states over. I'd asked her to take me somewhere private to handcuff me, but she'd refused and taken me into her custody right there, in front of dozens of people. Dozens more witnessed her walking me through the large art museum and out to this limo, and she'd sat me down, belted me into place, and tied my feet before calling in that she'd caught me.

"I really thought you were going to try to run," she said with a smile. "But I guess getting chased and caught was more embarrassing than surrendering to me to get arrested. Tough call, but I'm sure glad you didn't make me run. For that, I won't gag you for the drive."

She laughed at my dour expression, and patted my cheek mockingly.

"Cheer up," she said. "It could have been worse. Now you get to stare at me for the next few hours while I take you to my boss, and then to jail."

Attention GFD community

HOW DO I BECOME A GOOD BOY?

Ruined weekend

I was so excited. My girlfriend Tanith and I were going to go to the movies, then dinner, and then almost certainly some physical intimacy would follow. We were going to have a great weekend, she had said, and I was really looking forward to it as I drove home to her.

When I arrived, I found her sitting in a provocative pose, but I also knew, this pose meant trouble for me. She only showed her feet like this when I was to be punished.

“Oh no,” I said. “What did I do?”

“It’s good you’ve already accepted you’re at fault,” Tanith told me. “Get over here and kiss my feet while I explain to you why you’re being punished.”

I started to move toward her, but her eyes flashed. “Naked, little boy!”

I halted, and stripped. I sank to my knees beside the table and put my lips to the lowest part of her. She actually caressed my head as I obeyed, my hands behind my back - no touching while I was kissing her feet.

“Do you remember your morning line assignment?” Tanith asked.

“Yes, Mistress,” I said. “I wrote ‘I will behave myself this weekend for Miss Tanith,’ 100 times.”

“Hmmm,” she said. “That was your assignment. But you actually only wrote the line 99 times. That, to me, is a direct challenge to my authority and position as your Lady. Now, you will have to be severely punished.”

“It was just an oversight,” I said, stammering, between kisses of her magnificent feet. “I just made a mistake.”

“You aren’t allowed to make mistakes,” Tanith said. “And you know it. So, when I am happy with what you’re doing to my feet, you will be tied up. Then, over my lap for a long spanking, followed by a hogtie. While you stay here, hogtied and helpless, I will go to the movies and dinner with my friends. When I come back, you will be spanked again, and then put to bed in your cage. You will remain naked and bound all weekend, and you will be spanked at least twice a day.”

She paused. “Oh, and I’m going to lock you in chastity for the weekend as well. No enjoying your domination, little boy.”

A tear formed in my eye as I kissed her feet. “Yes, Miss Tanith.”

“Good boy for accepting your sentence so well. Now, if you don’t take your spanking like a good boy, I won’t be coming back alone from my girls’ night. The girls will be with me. So if you don’t want an audience for your second spanking, you’d better behave yourself.”

Jenna Ortega