Summertime Blues

Summertime Blues

“Oh, stop pouting. You got what you deserved,” she jeers.

“What? This is all your fault! You wouldn’t let me change out of my diaper at the airport!” you whine, showing her the blue wristband the hotel staff required you to wear.

“My fault?!? Did I force you to fill your diaper up with tinkles? Did I force you to waddle like a toddler? No, that was all you, sweetie,” she retorts.

Flustered, you huff and puff, stomping your feet in anger.

“Wow, baby, you’re doing everything in your power to prove you deserve that wristband!” she taunts. “I think they were right to put it on you!”

“No, they weren’t! I’m not a baby! Now I don’t even get to drink at the all-inclusive resort that I paid for!” you screech, “this is bullshit!”

“Language, honey, you better not use words like that when you’re in your kiddy pool!” she laughs.

“What are you talking about?”

“Awww, did you not pay attention to the lady when she explained what your wristband means?” she smirks devilishly, “you were throwing quite the tantrum! Honey, the blue wristband doesn’t just mean you’re not allowed alcohol! It means you’re in diapers! And that means you’re only allowed in the kiddie pool!”

You stand there, mortified, lost for words.

“You understand why, right? The adults don’t want to swim in the same pool as babies! They don’t want to worry about you scrunching your face and pooping next to them on the lazy river! They want to drink their margaritas in peace!”

“This isn’t fair! I’m not a baby! And I don’t even poop my diaper!” you squeal.

“They don’t know that! All people will see is the blue wristband and know you’re waddling in a diaper! Of course, I doubt they’ll need to see the wristband, your diaper is pretty obvious under your swimsuit!”

“No, I won’t go! I wanted a real vacation!” you bluster.

“I don’t care what you want, sweetie. In ten minutes, you’ll be splashing around in the kiddie pool like the toddler you are while I sip a strawberry daiquiri like the adult I am! But first, we gotta get you into your swim diapers!”

“I don’t have any!” you say confidently, thinking you’ll get out of this.

“But the resort does! I bought two packages for you! They look just like Little Swimmers! Look! Aren’t they adorable?”