VERY Important To Read ☝🏼

troubleshooting your chastity lifestyle - part 1/2

i will often get messages from followers about problems that they are having in their chastity relationship. lets start the new year by trying to fix some of these problems. instead of responding to everyone individually ill be spending the next few posts answering some of the common problems people are having.

many keyholders have expressed frustration that they aren’t quite getting the submission and/or the loving attentive and affection husband that is promised by chastity. or they are getting it for a little while and then it goes away. i’ve noticed some common mistakes that people are making…

1, avoid the “lock it and leave it” mistake. chastity is NOT something that can be passive! keyholders must play an active part in the game being played. the surest way to fail to achieve all the benefits of chastity is to just lock your partner up and ignore him. in fact, this will likely have the opposite effect causing frustration (the bad kind) and resentment.

you should be doing something every single day that engages him with reguard to his chastity. this can be fun exciting things that take time and effort or this can be as simple as a comment about his cage, a joke or a tease about it, grabbing his cage in the kitchen, or demanding a picture of his cage when he is out of the house. for the love of god though, you need to do at something!

2, avoid what i’ve heard people describe as “traffic jam chastity”. this is when you don’t keep him locked, teased, and denied long enough. understand that in order to get to the sweet spot of chastity you need to have a minimum amount of lock up time (plus constant teasing). this will vary by each couple but it is certain that only having him locked for a few days at a time will result in failure. i suggest at least 4 weeks at a time. ideally more! it takes time for him to build up sexual tension and frustration and to convert that into constructive emotions and actions. if you’re unlocking him too often then you will never reach the promised land and every time you unlock him, you’ll have to start over.

some keyholders are worried about being “too strict” and keeping him locked for too long but you should remember that if you’re already in a chastity relationship then he wants to be locked up! unlocking him is likely the opposite of what he wants. still, if you are worried about how long you keep him looked and denied then play this fun game: chose a number of weeks that you think is reasonable to keep him locked for. maybe like 6 weeks to start. write it down. tell him that you’ve chosen a period of time for his next chastity sentence. tell him that he has to also choose a period of time and write it down but if he chooses a time period less than what you chose then you will double the your number! (ie if you chose 6 weeks and he chose 3 weeks then he will be locked for 12 weeks! oof…) but if he chooses more than what you’ve chosen, then that will be his new sentence (ie if you chose 6 weeks and he chose 7 weeks then he will be locked for 7 weeks). this is a fun game that also let’s you know exactly how long he thinks is appropriate.

3, As the keyholder, you must set clear rules and expectation. you have to make and enforce your will. do you want nightly back rubs? make it a rule. want him to clean the house? make it a rule. want him to give you and orgasm. demand one. i’ve been giving many examples of things you could do to keep chastity spicy. pick a few and do them on your terms. he is probably starved for this kind of attention and if youre not giving it then no wonder he is acting out! chastity is a give and take and the more effort and energy you put into it, the more benefits you will receive from it.

more FAQs and trouble shooting to come.

Tips welcome, if you like… 101.

50 Ways to Lead Your Luvr

For the new Dommes out there who just don’t know where to start, or have trouble thinking of ways to project dominance, here are some fairly tame ideas you can use to get things going, and have him submit to you. As the Domme, you set the pace, so take your time and keep it fun.

Start out with a few that you like and see how he responds to them. When you feel comfortable proceeding, add others and come up with your own ideas. If you really enjoy any of them and want them to continue, make it into  a rule.

1. Order him to massage your feet with foot lotion, anytime you please.

2. You decide when it’s time for him to get a haircut. He never gets one without your permission.

3. Whenever going out together, you decide who drives.

4. Sneak up to him randomly and slip a blindfold, or a hood on him. It stays on until you remove it.

5. As your sub, he should be pleasing to the eye. Any clothing he wears must be approved by you. Make him give to charity anything that you don’t approve of or cut them up into dust rags.

6. Protect him from any critisism from others. As his domme, only you are allowed to critisize him.

7. Randomly order him to stay in his pyjamas for the entire day. Everybody likes to stay in their pyjamas all day once in a while when nothing’s going on but it’s a little different if your are forbidden to get dressed. Make him your pyjama boy for a day.

8. Teach him that you value his input when making decisions, but final decisions are yours to make, alone.

9. He is to greet you at the door everytime you come home to him. Anything you purchased, he will fetch from the vehicle. You only carry your purse into the house, or make him carry it in as well.

10. Make it a habit to grab a handfull of his hair and gently tug it whenever you kiss him.

11. Teach him to always communicate with you in a submissive manner. He never interrupts you whenever you speak. However, you may interrupt him anytime you please, and he must be quiet instantly and listen whenever you do. Never allow him to use sarcasm, ever. He follows all conversation and never tries to change the subject. He never raises his voice at you for any reason. Keep a ballgag handy to punish any improper communication.

12. Have him go down on you, anytime, anywhere you please.

13. Create a no standing rule for urination in your home. If at any time you decide that a toilet isn’t clean enough for your standards, he must scrub it immediately, anytime day or night.

14. Whenever he enters your vehicle, he needs your permission to exit it. He doesn’t ask. If you leave the vehicle he just sits and waits unless you tell him “come along dear’ or something similar.

15. Randomly order him to get naked immediately, and he will need your permission to get dressed again.

16. Are there any words that annoy you? Tell him to never use that word, ever again. Make him keep a list of them and anytime you hear him say a word you don’t like, make him add it to the list. You can make him choose another word to replace it, or you can insist he uses a specific word.

17. Only you may initiate mouth kissing. If he wants to kiss you, make him kiss your hand, or foot. You decide if it leads to mouth kissing.

18. As his Domme, you deserve to have his complete undivided attention, so make him keep his eyes on you whenever you speak. If he looks away, stop what you are saying, grab his chin and turn his face back towards yourself and say “EYES ON ME WHEN I’M SPEAKING” in a firm but gentle voice, and pick up the discussion where you left off.  

If you ever feel he hasn’t been listening properly, make him repeat back to you what was said, and if he gets it wrong, make him stand with his nose in the corner to punish him. If he won’t give you his undivided attention, you shouldn’t give him any attention. This will teach him to respect you, as a proper sub never only half listens to his Domme.

19. Have him sit at your feet often. If he wants to sit beside you on the sofa, he should ask your permission. You decide if he sits beside you or at your feet.

20. When you want to do something dominant to him but can’t think of anything, just grab a chain and two padlocks and chain him to something, give him a passionate kiss, and walk away without saying a word. Ignore him (unless he is in distress) while you do whatever you want. He will feel very owned and controlled.

21. Expect him to come to you immediately when called. He shouldn’t run, but he should show a sense of urgency when approaching you. Only accept excuses if he was doing something time sensitive, for example, if he was making supper, and the food would be overcooked if he came to you immediately.

22. Use his hand as a leash in public. When you hold his hand to lead him around, he isn’t allowed to let go of your hand. If you lead him up to an object and put his hand on it, he is parked in place and isn’t allowed to let go of that object until you come back, grab his hand, and lead him away. Leading him around by the hand in public is a very subtle way to display your dominance without anybody realizing it.

23. Teach him to ask permission to be excused and explain why anytime he wants to leave your presence. Occasionally refuse permission.

24. Be physically forceful. Grab him by the throat and force him against the wall in a passionate kiss. Grab a handful of hair and pull him to where you want him. Grab his earlobe and drag him down to a kneeling position at your feet.  Come up with your own ways to physically dominate him..

25. With the exception of gas, food, and gifts for you, any buying or selling will require your approval.

26. One of a submissive males greatest traits is the ability to wait patiently. Teach him by making him wait for you in various circumstances. Also teach him that keeping you waiting without a very good reason is unacceptable and punishable.

27. Write your signature on his shoulder blade or buttocks with an indelible marker. The more you train him, the more he becomes your work of art, so sign him like a painting.

28. Whether as a punishment or randomly, make him get down on the floor and give you 20 pushups.

29. Randomly lock his wrists behind his back while he is relaxing around the house. Tell him that his hands are tools to serve you, and if he isn’t using them for that purpose, they should be put away. Padded leather ones are best, especially if you plan to keep him in them for a while. Fistmitts make a great alternative and are more comfortable.

30. Teach him to do specific things(eg. housework), exactly the way you want it done, so that you can command him to do it anytime in the future. Your way is always the correct way, even if it’s not the most efficient way.

31. Whenever you plan to purchase something, have him research the best brands for price, reliability, quality, and features, giving you a list of the best top 5 to purchase. Have him give a short presentation while kneeling before you on what he’s learned.

32. Bend him over your lap and spank him whenever you like. You don’t have to hurt him. Just the act of being put over your lap will humble him, and make you feel powerful.

33. Teach him a command, or hand gesture, or both to silence him instantly. Teach him another one that lets him speak again.

34. Never allow him to eat his favorite treat (eg. chocolate) unless it comes directly from your hand. Tell him if he wants it bad enough, he may beg for it and you’ll give it to him, most times.

35. Random buttplugging. Whenever he is at home you can randomly approach him with a prelubed buttplug, and he has to bend over immediately to accept it. He’s not allowed to remove it himself.

36. Forbid him to ever say “I” or “me” when referring to himself while speaking to you in private.

37. Randomly, gently slap his face once in a while just to remind him who’s in charge. A gentle backhand is all that’s needed. It shouldn’t hurt, just humble him. Have him kiss the hand that slaps him to display his submission.

38. Make him ask permission before having an orgasm.

39. Make him ask permission before leaving home. If you aren’t home when he wants to leave, he must text you for permission. If you live apart, this applies to leaving his home as well as yours.

40. Maintenance Tickling. They say laughter is the best medicine, so medicate him with a tickle session occasionally. Tie him in place so that he is totally helpless and under your complete control. Start tickling. Your task is to keep him smiling, laughing or giggling for at least half an hour. Give him breaks between short tickling sessions, but he has to keep a smile on his face.

41. Paint his toenails. You can make him do it himself, but I guarantee it will have more of an impact on him if you grab his feet, remove his socks, and paint them yourself. After you’re done, tell him how pretty his toes are now and tell him you like the new look you have picked for him and if he removes it, he will be sorry. Make him walk around the house barefoot and show them off to you.

By doing this, you are asserting the right to control his body. It will give you a feeling of power everytime you see his painted toes, because you made it happen, and make it continue to happen. He in turn will feel submissive, because he knows you are in control of his body, moreso than him.

42. Instant Puppy. Pick a command word and a counter command word for this. Whenever you say the command word, he has to go silent immediately and get down on his hands and knees. Until you say the counter command word, he has to remain silent and keep one hand touching the floor or the ground at all times.

43. If he sleeps in your bed, he has to be chained to it. Ankle chain to the bedframe is best.

44. Control his alcohol intake. Every drink containing alcohol he consumes will have consequences. For instance, a half hour of cornertime or bent over your lap and 5 swats on the butt per drink consumed.

45. Step on his head with one foot pressing it to the floor while forcing the toes of your other foot into his mouth.

46. Lock something on his body that he can’t remove himself. It can be a collar, wristcuffs, an anklet, or just wrap a chain around his waist and padlock it there. I bought 2 ‘ring of steel’ types cuffs off of the internet and like to lock both of them on one of his wrists. The sound and feel of them rattling together as he does things around home are a constant reminder that someone else has more control over his body than he does.

47. If he doesn’t eat enough vegetables, make him eat one meal a week containing only cut up vegetables, from a bowl on the floor, without using his hands.

48. Have him suckle your breasts anytime and for as long as you wish. It feels great, and is a lovely way to bond with him.

49. Electronic leash. Use tracking software on his phone so that you know exactly where he is at all times. To ensure his phone is with him all the time, Set your own phone up to send scheduled texts that he must answer within 10 minutes.

50. Occasionally when you leave home by yourself, chain his ankles so that the whole time you are gone, he can only take slow, small steps. It will make him feel your control even when you aren’t home with him.

About anal orgasms for pussyboys /sissies in chastity (please reblog):

The prostate has 1/3 of the nerves responsible for orgasm. When the cock is locked and there is no release for orgasm via the cock these become sensitised and constantly bashing it with your cock will create an orgasm. The orgasm however is internal from deep inside the cunt of the sissy. There is no feeling of pleasure in the dick despite it leaking cum. The cum is clear fluid from the prostate as the cock and balls aren’t involved. Similar to a woman gushing. The orgasm isn’t as strong and doesn’t provide as much satisfaction as a cock orgasm. It is more muted (remember only a third of the nerves are involved), lasts longer and is felt deep inside the arse, takes much longer to achieve orgasm hence why most fucks will not end in the sissy cumming (and often needs a few fucks to make her orgasm, part of the reason why sissies want to be fucked constantly and only date men with high sex drives and are often very willing to be shared or gang fucked by their partner and men he chooses). As the intensity and release are less, even after a sissy orgasms anally she is still left at least a bit horny and is still up for more fucking and her cockhungriness continues. This leads to a perpetual state of sexual arousal and constant need to be fucked. Only a relentless all day pounding with multiple orgasms and /or very hard and prolonged fucking can fully satisfy her. The longer she is locked, the stronger this becomes. Constant state of horniness. The nerves in the prostate become even more sensitised and orgasms happen easier and more frequently with less fucking. The constant state of arousal builds. If you can imagine that unlike a man who gets horny, has a strong orgasm and then is satisfied if his horn until the next time, a sissy is ALWAYS horny, has prolonged but less intense internal orgasms, and her horn fluctuates from extremely horny to moderately horny but never subsides. It only goes to low horny state with a relentless hard pounding and multiple orgasms but even then still horny but just a low level. It doesn’t go away like for a man or woman.

The above assumes the sissy is kept in strict chastity and is intact with balls and normal testosterone. If she takes hormones, testosterone blockers or is castrated then the sex drive drops dramatically and then she loses interest in sex unless her man gives her foreplay. If castrated and no hormones then less of sex drive than women as she literally has no sex hormones driving it whereas women have their female sex hormones (with one tenth the amount of equivalent testosterone).

If you want to imagine how horny a sissy feels then try going without sex and masturbation for a month. Think about how you feel at the end of that month but imagine that IT NEVER STOPS. You are ALWAYS that horny and only ever get partial relief from being fucked hard up the arse for a long time. Just think about that for a minute and then you will understand why sissies and pussyboys are such slutty cock hungry outrageous whores.