Dangerousangleofadream - Femdom

Commission for a whiiiile ago that never got posted here.

troubleshooting your chastity lifestyle - part 1/2

i will often get messages from followers about problems that they are having in their chastity relationship. lets start the new year by trying to fix some of these problems. instead of responding to everyone individually ill be spending the next few posts answering some of the common problems people are having.

many keyholders have expressed frustration that they aren’t quite getting the submission and/or the loving attentive and affection husband that is promised by chastity. or they are getting it for a little while and then it goes away. i’ve noticed some common mistakes that people are making…

1, avoid the “lock it and leave it” mistake. chastity is NOT something that can be passive! keyholders must play an active part in the game being played. the surest way to fail to achieve all the benefits of chastity is to just lock your partner up and ignore him. in fact, this will likely have the opposite effect causing frustration (the bad kind) and resentment.

you should be doing something every single day that engages him with reguard to his chastity. this can be fun exciting things that take time and effort or this can be as simple as a comment about his cage, a joke or a tease about it, grabbing his cage in the kitchen, or demanding a picture of his cage when he is out of the house. for the love of god though, you need to do at something!

2, avoid what i’ve heard people describe as “traffic jam chastity”. this is when you don’t keep him locked, teased, and denied long enough. understand that in order to get to the sweet spot of chastity you need to have a minimum amount of lock up time (plus constant teasing). this will vary by each couple but it is certain that only having him locked for a few days at a time will result in failure. i suggest at least 4 weeks at a time. ideally more! it takes time for him to build up sexual tension and frustration and to convert that into constructive emotions and actions. if you’re unlocking him too often then you will never reach the promised land and every time you unlock him, you’ll have to start over.

some keyholders are worried about being “too strict” and keeping him locked for too long but you should remember that if you’re already in a chastity relationship then he wants to be locked up! unlocking him is likely the opposite of what he wants. still, if you are worried about how long you keep him looked and denied then play this fun game: chose a number of weeks that you think is reasonable to keep him locked for. maybe like 6 weeks to start. write it down. tell him that you’ve chosen a period of time for his next chastity sentence. tell him that he has to also choose a period of time and write it down but if he chooses a time period less than what you chose then you will double the your number! (ie if you chose 6 weeks and he chose 3 weeks then he will be locked for 12 weeks! oof…) but if he chooses more than what you’ve chosen, then that will be his new sentence (ie if you chose 6 weeks and he chose 7 weeks then he will be locked for 7 weeks). this is a fun game that also let’s you know exactly how long he thinks is appropriate.

3, As the keyholder, you must set clear rules and expectation. you have to make and enforce your will. do you want nightly back rubs? make it a rule. want him to clean the house? make it a rule. want him to give you and orgasm. demand one. i’ve been giving many examples of things you could do to keep chastity spicy. pick a few and do them on your terms. he is probably starved for this kind of attention and if youre not giving it then no wonder he is acting out! chastity is a give and take and the more effort and energy you put into it, the more benefits you will receive from it.

more FAQs and trouble shooting to come.

Ever made a girl smile like that?

I found a list of punishments for dommes and edited all the dangerous/illegal/painful/sexist/silly ones out. The below list is 100% gentle femdom approved. These should make him blush adorably, not cry.

Sex denial – Selectively the mistress can deny the submissive sex for a period. It can be for days or weeks depending upon the seriousness of the activity that prompted the punishment. Most libidos will start to peak after 2-3 days, so 4 days to a week is a good punishment. Note: this doesn't mean he can't still give YOU orgasms.

Chastity cage – A small device that fits and locks over a flacid penis so that the submissive cannot get erect. It isn’t painful when sized correctly yet prohibits him from orgasming at all. With sex denial he can still masturbate, but with a chastity cage on he cannot. Having a chastity cage on by default also makes it impossible to deny or disobey any command/punishment without more time between orgasms being added, so it is a highly recommended toy for subs and dommes.

Ruined orgasm only – Over a period of time he may only have ruined orgasms. He is to remain in a chastity cage and his mistress will only allow him out of the cage so she can deliberately ruin an orgasm for the sub.

Leashed collar – The sub has a collar placed on him and a leash. The leash is tied to something immovable like a wall mount or something heavy and immovable like a table leg. That way he cannot move beyond a prescribed circle. A mistress can make him do it naked for added effect.

Vibrating butt plug – Why not make them clean an area of the house while being naked and a vibrating butt plug.

Soap in mouth – Put a bar of soap in his mouth and make him walk around with it for a good time.

Naked exercise – Put him on an exercise regime for a few days or a week but make him do it in the nude in the front room while you watch TV or something. Get him doing press ups, burpees, star jumps and sit ups, all while you keep an eye on him.

Furniture – Make him a  piece of furniture for a while. A footstool is common so you can put your feet up while you watch TV, and help yourself to a glass of wine.

Food in a pet dish – Of an evening, when some food has been prepared your sub can eat it out of a pet bowl rather than dine more like a human with you. For extra effect you can place it on the floor and make him eat it from there.

Bland food – Instead of anything interesting to eat like lasagne or beef risotto, make them eat something healthy and very untasty every night for a week. Like boiled cabbage, mushy cauliflower, or couscous and broccoli.

Pointless chore – You can think of many of these I am sure, like count how many pages there are in my bookshelf or something, but a good one is get the sub to count out how many grains of rice are in a cup, a bowl or a 1kg bag of rice. Takes ages and is utterly useless.

Excessive chores – For a week they are to do every chore in the house, from making beds, to laundry to keeping all the rooms clean and dusting.

Cold shower – Make them wash, and clean for a good length of time under a cold shower. The colder the better and you can make him have a week of them for extra effect.

Anal plug – Not vibrating but get him to wear one if he is doing chores, making a meal or just throughout the day or a shopping trip. Or even work if he can do that.

Clean with a toothbrush – Make him get the kitchen, bathroom and utility room taps clean with a toothbrush. Or make him clean the bath with it, something that makes the whole job much longer.

Humiliating masturbation – Make your sub naked and tell him to masturbate into something that is a bit humiliating. You can place him in next to the TV and have him ride a dildo so you can have two shows to watch. With a shoulder stand against a wall you can even make him cum onto his own face/mouth.

Announce when horny – He must tell you when he is feeling a bit frisky or has an erection. Every time, no matter where. Texts to you while he is at work, and informing you if you are present.

Punishment chores – Like making your sexy shoes shine like they were done by an army soldier, or laundry and making all your work clothes clean with a roller for picking up dirt and hairs. Just keep adding to a list of stuff that he has to do if he is being punished.

Remove discretionary spending – Disallow him to spend any money on himself for a period of time, like a week or two. He won’t be able to order anything, or order a new book, or clothes, or even candy until punishment time is over.

Floor sleeping – Can work with a couch as well, but for a few days or a week he has to sleep on the floor next to the bed like a dog.

No use of furniture – Any furniture in the house he is not allowed to use, even including the bed. So he has to watch TV while sitting on the floor and has to dine standing up.

Permission to use bathroom – For whatever period the mistress desires, the sub will have to ask permission to use the bathroom. Say no occasionally and make him ask you again in 10 or 15 minutes.

BJ practice – Mistress can have a strapon or a dildo she uses to make her sub practice the art of deepthroating. Make him show you the practice and how well he is coming along in achieving a gag reflex avoidance.

Mouth gag – Get a mouth gag, and put it on your sub. He can have a whole day with that in while you go about your day. If you like his company and voice you can lock a gag on before leaving for school/work so he is only punished while you're gone.

Boot kissing – Make him kiss your feet every evening or upon snap demand. Keep him doing it, even during mealtimes, and make it inconvenient. Tell him to do it at 3am if you like.

Cum drinking – Have him orgasm into a container and save it. You can put it in his coffee and make him drink it, mix it in with some food, or freeze it into special ice cubes for his drinks.

Orgasm ratio – Have a ratio for orgasms for an extended period of time like 5 to 1, or 10 to 1. Meaning you have to receive 10 orgasms before he gets a single one. You can make yours a luxurious pleasure but makes his quick and sordid like into the toilet/urinal.

Porn while caged – While locked in chastity, make him watch the sexiest porn that you can find.

The boss’s bratty daughter was in to see daddy dearest, and it was the first time you met her.

Trouble? You don’t know the half of it.

I’m ready