“I gave your key to one of my friends.
None of them are willing to tell you if they have it, unless you’re willing to serve them for a week.”
To see all my NSFW captions and to suport the blog: AllMyLinks 🍑
teach me how to kiss, please?
only if you promise not to cry about the constructive criticism and swear that you’ll retain all of it and not just bounce back to not being excellent at it again in a few months
had that happen as a teenager with a guy I semi-regularly made out with at parties I taught him so well and then we didn’t make out for a month or so and bam he was back to the miserable performance from the beginning and back then I had way more patience with shit like that
being a crybaby or anxiety ridden mess? no problem, i got all the patience in the world, baby doll. being a bad kisser? nuh uh, that’s where I draw the fucking line. that shit is unacceptable
You’re a little bitch and the only way you can be useful in bed is if you shut the fuck up and let her use you 😈😇🔥
“I have some bad news, Mr Lazarus. It seems that your chronic boot addiction is actually getting worse. The exposure therapy simply isn’t working and if I may say, your erectile episodes are becoming more intrusive.”
“I have the details of a more ‘alternative’ treatment, but it will require some restraint. A lot of restraint actually……starting with your cock.”
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