"Caats is a sensual telepathic alien desperate to leave planet Freyr-03. Sterling is a handsome human who claims to have a spaceship. Can they come to an agreement in just one night?"
This is my FIRST of many self-published story, which is now available on Amazon. I originally wrote about Caats as the main character in a much bigger story. However, I decided to break up her adventures into smaller side quests and also ramp up the sexiness to 100000. I'm essentially writing fanfiction for my own original work.
If you decide to read this story, please make sure to leave a review or you can DM me your thoughts. I would love any feedback while I write more about Caats's upcoming adventures in deep space.
If you can't seem to find an alternative for this common phrase "she smiled". here's a list of different sentence variations.
She beamed brightly.
Her lips curled into a smile.
She flashed a radiant grin.
A smile lit up her face.
She offered a sheepish grin.
Her smile twinkled mischievously.
She gave a soft, serene smile.
A wry smile played on her lips.
She smirked subtly.
Her smile spread slowly across her face.
She smiled wistfully.
A gentle smile graced her features.
She smiled with her eyes.
Her smile was tinged with sadness.
She bestowed a gracious smile.
Her smile glimmered in the dim light.
She smiled coyly.
A giddy smile bubbled up.
She smiled, lips parting lightly.
Her smile was infectious.
She gave a knowing smile.
A tentative smile flickered across her face.
She smiled, eyes sparkling with delight.
Her smile warmed the room.
She smiled ruefully.
A conspiratorial smile crossed her face.
She smiled, a trace of irony evident.
Her smile was wide and welcoming.
She flashed a quick, evasive smile.
She smiled as if recalling a sweet memory.
I do a lot of worldbuilding, and there are very few things that I keep away from.
One of them is truth magic.
Truth magic, even in a restricted form, even if it's expensive, digs its fingers into every social institution in a world, and then also digs its fingers into every element of plot, and will seep into every scene that you ever write for a given story. There are many many many ways to implement truth magic, and most of them are just beset by this problem of sheer magnitude.
But I also think there are a few interesting narrative things you can do with it, if wielded properly:
Character who really seems untrustworthy, but the magic has verified them, as improbable as this seems.
Character who technically did tell the truth, but they were clever about leaving in a loophole.
Character who has been dodging truth spells for a long time is finally forced to have all their lies undone.
Character who has been raised scrupulously truthful because they exist in a part of society where truth spells are common and all speech must be self-monitored.
Character who is deep in self-denial is forced to confront a hidden truth they don't want to accept.
Character who is insane enough that truth magic just doesn't work on them.
Maybe some day I'll give truth magic a shot, it just seems horribly complicated to write for.
So this is my first book review on this account. Full disclaimer, I have no plans of keeping a tight schedule for these things. My goal is to finish at least 24 books in 2025 and this is book #1. If you're still reading this, let's jump into the actual review...(Spoilers ahead)
Storytelling (4/5): While Jazz is bouncing around on the moon (sometimes literally), she explains in excruciating detail the many mechanisms required to live in Artemis indefinitely. Ever wondered what would happen if there was a fire on the moon? Or maybe you wondered what kind of industries could operate up there. Jazz doesn't answer every question, but she sure covers a lot of ground. You start to feel like your are visiting Artemis for the first time and Jazz is your personal tour guide. In fact, there's a scene where a tourist asks EVA master Bob several questions about walking on the moon and somehow it seems a lot more forced than just listening to Jazz silently explain everything herself. I'm not a scientist, so I'm not going to even pretend to know whether or not her explanations make any sense. I can however say that Jazz's scientific rantings are entertaining and I feel like I might know just a smidge more about astronomy than I did before reading.
Plot (2.5/5): Science jargon aside, the plot itself is very transparent. It's a double heist feature. Heist one: Jazz is commissioned to sabotage Sanchez Aluminum. She's confident that she can get it done, but we're not even a third of the way through the book yet. Jazz fails due to a series of unfortunate accidents, but at least she was able to make it back to Artemis in one piece and nobody got hurt. Heist two: Jazz's client gets assassinated and she uncovers a plot by the Brazilian mafia to take over the moon. She pulls together a ragtag team, including a Ukrainian mad scientist, her ex best friend, her genius father, a teenage billionaire, and Bob. She even takes a moment to give an inspirational speech about saving Artemis and working as a team (she also pokes fun at herself for saying such a speech, but this still a sin in my humble opinion). Their plan works despite some asteroid sized hiccups. Jazz makes a heroic sacrifice, but you don't even have to finish the novel to know that she will survive and that Artemis will be saved.
That's all. I can think of at least a dozen pieces of media that follow a very similar if not identical path as Artemis. With that being said, clichés exist for a reason. We like them. At least having it all play out on the moon makes it more noteworthy than Ocean's 26. I am also happy for any futuristic science fiction story that does not immediately ooze misanthropy and depression.
Characters (3/5): I don't like Jazz - wait here me out. I also don't hate her. Jazz is a well developed character. She's competent and she's flawed. She's ambitious and she harbors some doubts. She has a backstory that I think many people can sympathize with. I appreciate that even after everything she experienced before the start of the novel, Jazz is still the same smartass that got her into that trouble. Does she regret anything? Yes. Will she stop all of her antics and live a peaceful, law abiding life? Absolutely not.
If you like Jazz, that's great. My reasons for disliking her are completely personal. I wouldn't ever want to be friends with her, but that doesn't make her a bad character by any stretch.
As for the other characters, they are very much like the plot itself. While detailed and entertaining, there truly are no surprises. Svoboda is a lovesick nerd, Ammar is the cranky but devoted father, Rudy is a no nonsense cop, etc. Everyone has a specific role that they play out perfectly. It's disappointing. To the very end, I hoped for at least one surprise either in the form of a turncoat or an unexpected ally. How much more interesting would it have been if Jazz's longtime pen pal Kelvin was actually working with O Palácio right from the start? Or what if Rudy joined in on their plans? Instead, we get characters that are only there to help develop Jazz's story. What kind of person is Dale? He's Jazz's ex best friend, he's gay, and - oh yeah he's Jewish. I guess that counts as personality trait (NOTE: it definitely does not). We don't learn anything else about him because nothing else matters. It would have been a lot more interesting to hear how exactly he and Jazz became so close and what happened when he stole Jazz's then boyfriend. Alas, that's an entirely different story that just doesn't fit well into Weir's moon heists.
Final Thoughts: Overall, I didn't have any expectations for this book. I stumbled across it in a used bookstore and my first thought was "Wait, that guy who wrote The Martian has other books?" (I have not read The Martian). Even after finishing this book, I feel very neutral. The characters are entertaining and the worldbuilding is top notch, but I'm not compelled to look for anything more. I can say that the most interesting thing about this book is the amount of thought and research Weir put into it to justify an entire civilization living on the moon. But again, I am not a science person, so take my opinion with a grain of salt.
Artemis feels like the start of something bigger. It's laying down the groundwork for what could potentially expand into something much much bigger than it currently is. If humans can live on the moon, what's to stop anyone from colonizing other planets? What happens if they put more than one city on the moon? I'm not saying that this has to be expanded into a series, but it would be a prime setting for some good old RPG. Like Jazz herself, there is some potential there, waiting to be expanded upon.
And in case anyone else is wondering: I would never ever want to live in Artemis. I wouldn't even want to visit it. It's a bouncy castle prison with terrifyingly poor safety measures.
Quit judging yourself for every mistake you make along the way. Whether you're writing fiction, fanfiction, or nonfiction, just write. If you can't correct your errors as you go, that's okay. When I don't have the brainpower to multitask, I focus on the writing stage one step at a time. Just write!
"It's not ready if it's not perfect." That's a lie. When you're in the process of writing, it's best to concentrate on getting your thoughts on paper.
Join lively communities with active writers or forums that host events inviting writers to share their work for critique. Not every critique is constructive; learn to discern which feedback to take on board and which to ignore.
You can't give what you don't have. You learn a lot from reading similar pieces in your chosen genre. Reading is also a source of inspiration that fuels your writing process.
Writing is no small feat. It takes talent to formulate a story with your mind and skill to visualize it for others to see. Do you love writing? Then keep doing it because it takes practice.
Looking for a supportive community dedicated to helping you grow as a writer? Join the Writers Universe server and thrive!
Thinking about how the Andy Weir Space Trilogy all end in basically the same place they started. The problematic status quo is now the soft landing.
Watney is isolated and relying on the help of others to survive. At the end of the book, he is isolated at home and relying on the help of delivery people to get groceries and maintain his health.
Jazz Bashara is broke and in debt to her father. Thee crimes, a heroic rescue, a self sacrifice, and a million credits later, and she's broke from fines and in debt to her friend.
Ryland Grace is an asocial teacher with exactly 1 friend. Two saved worlds later, and he's a teacher on a new planet with exactly 1 friend.
And that's ok. You don't need to move up or down to change.
Just thinking about it a lot
Edit: this blog loves and supports trans people! Always and forever!
"actions speak louder than words" unless you’re a writer, in which case you’ll spend 300 pages describing a character’s inner turmoil while they stand perfectly still in a room.
books // writing // nerd stuffJust a place to collect my favourite things
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