Leg (part 2)

10/10

Wade: Your shaky leg is worse than normal what's up?

Peter: I have my ADHD and ASD evaluation tomorrow, what if its not ADHD and Autism and I'm just unfocused, can't brain properly and lack some social skills

Wade: Pete, how many alarms do you have set for tomorrow and how many tabs are open on your phone? Also how many unanswered texts?

Peter: 17 and 107 I think and I don't actually know, like 20 why?

Peter:

Peter: point taken

jason having scratches on his back from reader and batfam noticing it and teases him about it

then the next time they see reader, theyre like "you should cut your nails" jokingly

I want him. So bad.

The night before he went to train with his family, Jason had fucked you against a wall. Not his brightest idea, but it’s not his fault! You were teasing him and he just had to fuck you! You were wearing his favorite lingerie! He couldn’t help himself. What was he supposed to do? Tell you no? Absolutely not.

In his defense, he didn’t realize you scratched his back so deep.

His family is a family of detectives, so it didn’t take them long to spot the deep red lines trailing down his back. It also didn’t help that he immediately took his shirt off to train. Dick tries to tell him gently, but Steph interrupts, “you look like you got mauled by a bear.”

Jason goes beat red. He tries to look over his shoulder and ends up spinning, looking like a dog chasing its tail. “Oh shit.” Dick tries to get Jason to stop by patting his back, but Jason ends up doubled over. “OW. FUCK. DICKHEAD.”

“Sorry, Jay!”

Tim starts laughing. “How the fuck did you not notice?”

Jason gets even more red. “I was preoccupied!”

Now everyone’s laughing at him.

Everyone goes silent when you open the door. “Jay, you left your work tablet at home. Hey-”

“Hey, Wolverine.” Duke starts snickering. You raise an eyebrow and look at Jason. He hangs his head and slowly turns around. You see his back and say nothing, just blinking. You turn and walk out the door. Fuck that.

I WANT HIM I WANT HIM I WANT HIM

jaime reyes doodles!

At the Watchtower

Kon: So then ma says "well you're not coming back into this house until you've caught every single one of them pigs"-

Tim: [clutching his coffee-mug and listening intently] without powers?

Kon: Of course! So there I am, covered in mud, and all I want is to eat some pie and go to bed-

Tim: [nodding enthusiastically while Kon continues his story]

Clark: [looks on from a distance]

Jon: [a few seats away] Did I tell you we got a new cow on the farm?

Damian: [with interest] what did you name her?

Jon: We haven't decided yet, Kon wants to call her Dorothy, but pa and I-

Damian: [earnestly interested]

Clark: [side eyes Bruce who's sitting next to him going through reports]

Clark: Hey Bruce?

Bruce: [grunts]

Clark: did I tell you we got a new cow at the farm?

Bruce: [hums noncommitally and continues reading]

Clark: [strained] Kon wants to call her Dorothy, but I think we should call her Susie and Jon-

Bruce: [sighs exasperatedly]

Clark:

Clark: [rips the reports away from Bruce with super speed]

Bruce: What the hell?

Clark: You're such a bad friend!

Bruce: what?

Clark: why am I stuck with you when my children's bat friends are so nice?!

Bruce:

Clark: Look at Tim! He's so nice! Why can't you be like that?!

Bruce: You want me to be like Tim?

Clark: Or Damian!

Bruce: [rubbing his temples] You want me to be like Damian?

Clark: I want you to listen when I talk!

Bruce: you were talking about cows

Clark: that doesn't matter!

Bruce: It matters a little

Clark: Cows are interesting!

Bruce: Cows are the opposite of interesting.

Clark: Well, I'M interesting

Bruce:

Clark: Bruce, tell me I'm interesting.

Bruce: [gets up and starts walking away]

Clark: [shouts after him] Bruce! Tell me I'm interesting!

Bruce: [walks faster]

-a week later-

Wonder Woman: Are Batman and Superman having a fight?

Flash: yeah I think so. I don't know what about though

Martian Mindhunter: I believe Batman insulted Superman's cow

Wonder Woman: I see.

Black Canary: Sometimes I wake up at night and think about the fact that they are two of the most important members of an organization that protects the world from certain annihilation and then I can't go back to sleep

Green Lantern: [feet propped on the table, throwing almonds into the air and trying to catch them in his mouth] yeah it freaks me out too

Black Canary: [glances at Green Lantern] never leave us, Diana.

Batfamily Christmas

Jason: “Merry Christmas to my homies, and happy Hanukka to my Shalom-ies!”

Secret Santa is banned after that one year where Damian rigged it so everyone got his name

The whole family spends Christmas Eve serving soup at the local soup kitchen

Bruce dresses up as Santa and delivers presents to all the orphanages. Somehow Jason, Dick, Tim, Damian, Duke, Cass and Steph get roped into being his elf helpers. “Does my butt look big in these green tights?” “Dick your butt looks big in everything”.

Various festive themed witty one-liners whilst patrolling. Batman: *Bursting through a glass ceiling menacingly* Have you been naughty or nice? Jason: *Singing* Santa baaaby  🎶 slip a drug lord under the tree for mee  🎶 🎶 Been an awful good guy 🎶 Saaanta BABY!!  🎶 🎶 Steph: *Beating up a criminal with a giant candy cane* TASTE MY MINTY JUSTICE!! 

Christmas hats for all the pets!! 

Dick, after eating all the Christmas cookies: My mouth tastes of Christmas and regret

Arguments over who carves the turkey. No, Jason, a chainsaw is not a legitimate carving tool, neither is a sword, Damian. 

Brussel sprout fight!!! Bruce: What else are they meant to do with them Alfred?!? Eat them?!!?

Building Snowmen and having a giant snowball fight!!

Tim fills Damian’s stocking with coal 

The kids get Bruce a graphic t-shirt with the Batsymbol and the words #BATDAD. He loves it.

Pulling Christmas crackers and telling the really bad jokes from inside. The first one who laughs has to do the dishes. Unsurprisingly it’s Dick who looses.

Drunken carols around the piano. Bruce is playing the piano. Stephanie, Cass, and Barbara are the best singers, the rest sound like strangled cats. 

Barbara spiked the eggnog and now Duke is crying because the snowmen are outside in the cold all alone

Eggnog prt 2: Duke tried to bring a snowman into the manor but it started melting so now he’s guilty of SNOWMAN-SLAUGHTER!!!

Alfred knitted everyone scarves, hats, and gloves personalized with their initials.

I LITERALLY JUST STARTED WATCHING THE NANNY!!!

over the lunar new year i binge watched s1 of the nanny, and just HAD to doodle out my top outfits

OSIDHEIDHBEHEUDHWBVEHDH!!! i CanT-

Incorrect DC quotes

Y/N: Why are there bullet holes shaped like a sad face in my wall?

Jason: Cause I’m sad that I made you angry last night. 

Y/N: 

Y/N: WHY DID YOU USE A GUN TO TELL ME THAT?!

Jason: You told me that if I’m not good at verbalising my feelings I should find another way to do it. So I did this.

Y/N: Well, now I’m pissed off that I have to fix my fucking wall! How does that make you feel now, huh?

Jason: 

Jason: *points at the wall*

Enjolras: Were you dropped on your head as a child, Grantaire?

Grantaire: bold of you to assume I was held

i like to post like im logging on from monster high