I Was Actually Thinking About A Slightly Less Angsty Version Of This Where Everyone Is Used To Silver

The dadow continues! I'm in too deep now. Chapter 2 is out and chapter 3 is on the way!

I have nothing else to say other than pls read it I need validation

@irresia I haven't watched all of s3 yet, so there's probably more, but I went to watch it in Mandarin Chinese, and Sonic says, “我不知道你喜欢抱抱， 啊。” bào (抱) means cuddle, and if you say a verb twice, it makes it informal and cutesy. Basically, he said, "aw, I didn't know you were such a cuddle-bug!"

no bc im losing it

so in english it's "I never knew you were a hugger" which is incredibly painful and all that

and so I went to check out the norwegian dub for shits n giggles and to laugh at the voices and mf sonic says "I KNEW you were a hugger!"

I NEED TO BE SEDATED

edit 1:

edit 2: NEW LANGUAGES!!! IT GETS CUTER FOR EVERY FUCKING DUB

@dykedandelion: sonic in french says "ON A JAMAIS ÉTÉ AUSSI PROCHE" which means "WE'VE NEVER BEEN THIS CLOSE"

I checked the swedish dub and sonic says: "TÄNK ATT DU KAN VARA SÅ KRAMIG" which means something like "TO THINK THAT YOU CAN BE SO HUGGABLE"=!"=)!)"!=

@lephalacat courteously gave me a heart attack by giving the korean dub, where sonic says: "너한테 안기는 날이 오다니" which means "I CAN'T BELIEVE THE DAY ARRIVED FOR ME TO GET HUGGED BY YOU"

with the combined effort of @wackyunicornart and @dykedandelion they've expertly deduced what sonic says in the dutch dub: "I DIDN'T KNOW THAT YOU WERE SUCH A CUDDLER" i need aIR

@shadowthehedgehog swooped in with a delicious spanish one where sonic says: "QUIEN DIRÍA QUE TE GUSTABA ABRAZAR" which is "WHO KNEW YOU LIKED TO HUG" I NEED TO SIT IN A CORNER AND CRY

@luankuro in Portuguese sonic says something akin to "DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE SO AFFECTIONATE/TENDER" THIS SEASON HAS RUINED ME

@tenebraevesper graciously handed over both the croatian dub and the german dub; both of them just as DEVASTATING - in croatian, sonic says: "I DIDN'T KNOW THAT YOU LIKE TO HUG", and in german, he says: "I DIDN'T KNOW THAT YOU'RE INTO HUGGING" THESE HEDGEHOGS ARE GONNA BE THE DEATH OF ME

I will join @kyri45 in their several several processing business days after the italian dub was revealed to have sonic say: "I DIDN'T SEE YOU AS SUCH AN AFFECTIONATE TYPE"

@polaris-reblog and from the left field we have an INCREDIBLE Thai dub with sonic that says: "I DIDN'T KNOW YOU'D BE THE TYPE TO CARRY/PICK PEOPLE UP" CAN I GET A WAHOO

@windpolygon comes in with an absolute gem in russian: "DO YOU LIKE/LOVE TO HUG" SO WHAT IF HE DOES

@transgender-battlekukku runs in with Brazilian Portuguese that has sonic say: "EU NÃO SABIA QUE VOCÊ ERA TÃO CARINHOSO" which they so lovingly translate to "I NEVER KNEW YOU WERE SO LOVING/AFFECTIONATE" FELLAS WE DIDN'T KNOW EITHER BEFORE TODAY

the polish version, given by @hereissananxiousmess, has sonic being a sMARTASS, saying: "AH SO YOU DO LIKE TO HUG" JESUS CHRIST THIS GETS CUTER EACH TIME

the Galician version has me by the tHROAT okay @shadowthtrash so in this version sonic says: "Nunca pensei que me foses levar no colo" which means "I'VE NEVER THOUGHT YOU WOULD CRADLE ME AROUND" OUEGHR that's so cute

@mmiriozuzo turkish dub and sub is sO sweet honestly bc in the dub he says: "Sarılmayı sevdiğini hiç bilmiyordum", which translates to "I NEVER KNEW YOU LIKED HUGGING" while the turkish sub writes: "Sen sarılmayı sever miydin?" which means "SO YOU LIKE HUGGING?"

@ash-doodles-stuff went for my soul by revealing what the japanese and hindi version says; in Japanese, sonic says: "TO BE HELD IN YOUR ARMS" SONIC PLEASE - in the hindi version he says: "DIDN'T KNOW YOU LIKED HUGS AND STUFF" OEURGH I'LL NEVER GET ENOUGH OF THESE

@sonicposting joins the bandwagon by announcing the romanian version has sonic saying: "n-am știut că-ți place în brațe", which means something like "I DIDN'T KNOW YOU LIKE BEING HELD" although "it's hard to translate, but the way it is phrased implies that sonic didn't know shadow likes being held" THESE DUBS WILL END ME ONE DAY

@cosmicgirlypop runs in with the Arabic dub, where sonic says: "I DIDN'T KNOW YOU LIKE HUGS!" this is the yEAR OF SONADOW PEOPLE BC SHADOW SAYS "STAY WITH ME SONIC" AS A RESPONSE

suffice to say I think english is the glaring, obvious outlier here JHDJHDS

THE DUBBERS ATE AND LEFT NO CRUMBS BEHIND THIS IS TRULY THE YEAR OF SONADOW

Do y'all want more of this? Because I've been thinking about writing more of my headcanons for the boom versions and their underrated-ness. And seeing as this post did shockingly well, I figured I'd ask

While I know that the Sonic Boom cartoon show hype is probably super dead, the way Sonic and Eggman interact has me convinced Eggman did SOME parenting when Sonic was tiny, so here's my headcanon for that. Enjoy!

While Eggman could conquer the island he lived at, Bygone Island, the one he found nearby would be much easier, hypothetically anyway.

While Seaside Island was redundantly named, it was much more his style. The villages on it were smaller and meeker. They had no real way to fight back against his takeover! Which made it the perfect starting point for his upcoming break in his villainy career! If he took that island, surely that would've made his father proud!

Unfortunately, 'if' is the key word in that sentence.

The little blue hedgehog was no older than five years old, but despite his youth, he sucessfully stood between Eggman and complete control of the island.

And the little ragamuffin didn't even talk.

He never said a word, just showed up with his super speed and sharp quills and would put a stop to whatever genius plan he was making by breaking all his robots.

Eggman wished he knew the little nuisance's name, but seeing as he wasn't interested in talking, it left Eggman to hypothesize on appearance alone.

His back quills had ripped right through a shabby brown jacket that he wore, to the point where it wouldn't work as a jacket much longer. His gloves were constantly dirty, and no one on the forsaken island admitted who his parents were. It was like he suddenly existed one day! With no explanation!

The blue hedgehog was often running at ludicrous speeds. Speeds that, depending on the day, neared the sound barrier!

Eggman feared the day that the little blueberry would create a sonic boom.

The 'impending-sonic-boom' as he began to call the hedgehog was rather unpredictible. It all fell on a scale. Going extremely fast one day, sticking his tounge out at him and humming mocking songs, to going at what must've been like a meer jog to him, with no aknowledgement of Eggman at all the next day.

But one day, things were far more unpredictable than Eggman had bargined for.

He was racing the impending-sonic-boom in the Eggmobile. There was no hope of winning, just like there was no hope for his receeding hairline, but he needed a test. He couldn't create a robotic duplicate without anything to base it on! So it didn't matter that there was no hope of winning!

Eggman didn't need to be fancy with it, he just told the five year old koolaid stain that if he reached the end of the course before the rodent did, that he would offically own the island. And being five years old, he took it seriously.

There was no hope of winning. Not with the determination on the little guy's face.

So one can imagine the confusion that Eggman was met with when he won.

It didn't make any sense! He wasn't even- It was just the Eggmobile! It was nothing fancy! That sound-barrier-threatening-lifeform was much faster than that!

Eggman got off of his Eggmobile and stared at the folliage in front of him. Waiting to see blue quills poking out from the tall grass.

"Oh, Blueberry! I'm waaaaiting!"

It took another three seconds for the kid to show up. And when he did, he looked tired.

"Kid, you gotta be faster than that! You're not doing this on purpose are you? If this is just to spite me..."

The rodent shook his head. Eggman wouldn't have believed him if he didn't look so tired.

"Then what gives!? You can't just suddenly be slow! It's narratively inconsistent!"

The blue menace looked up at Eggman with an angry look.

"No... foo." Eggman flinched. He just spoke. He just... SPOKE.

"What? What did you say?"

"No foo...d! No food... No... fast!"

"Your speed depends on your diet?" Eggman tapped his chin, before grinning smugly. "What, did you miss your peanut butter sandwich for lunch?"

He was promptly glared at. "Okay! Geez!" Eggman tapped his gauntlet, and used it to scan the incoming-sonic-boom.

"Let's see, you're about five years old, according to your inteligence and fine motor skills... and you're one foot tall so you should weigh roughly..."

Eggman's stomach sank. He knew for a fact that the arriving-sonic-boom wasn't hitting that number. Not by a lot... Eggman could pick him up like he was a beach ball.

"When did you last eat..?"

Nothing. Nothing but staring.

"Yesterday? ...No? How about the day before? Th-the day before that? Five days ago? How about a week ago?!"

It wasn't until they hit a week and a half that the sonic-boom-in-progress pointed at Eggman. Signifying the correct timeframe

Eggman stared at the incoming-sonic-boom. For anyone, that would be damaging. For a five year old, that was almost a death sentence.

Eggman crouched down to the sonic-boom-creator and put a thumb under his chin. He squirmed violently and pushed Eggman's hand away as he stepped back.

But Eggman saw what he needed to see. There was almost no fat on his face. He was horribly underweight.

Eggman was a villain. Not a monster.

The hedgehog wiped his face, as if Eggman had gotten something on it by touching him.

"Hmm. Well, you're clearly malnourished. I can't declare victory under those circumstances! That would be cheating! Looks like you win this time, hedgehog! Now, come along! We have work to do."

The hedgehog looked up at him in–adorable–confusion. Eggman stood back up on his Eggmobile.

"Well? What are you waiting for? Hop on!"

The inevitable-sonic-boom inched towards it slowly. He gently tapped the base of the Eggmobile. When nothing happened, he looked back up to Eggman. Who groaned.

"Fine, I promise I won't hurt you, got it?"

The sonic-boom stared even more, before inevitably going for it and climbing onto the Eggmobile like a toddler.

It wasn't tipped in the slightest by the extra weight, which reminded Eggman why he was doing this at all.

His Eggmobile floated upwards and flew off. It quickly left Seaside island and then there was nothing but water below them.

He didn't expect the oncoming-sonic-boom to whimper at the sight of the ocean.

Eggman glanced down in time to see him curl up, hiding between his legs and the lower wall of the Eggmobile.

When the sonic-boom leaned against him for support, he winced and stepped back.

"Watch the quills, you blue nuisance!" He yelled.

It didn't stop the incoming-sonic-boom from grabbing him, but at least he was more careful.

Eggman had to remind himself, that the sonic-boom was a little malnourished kid, because he almost made too much food. Twice. The rodent's stomach would be small, too small for him to give the blue guy a full child-sized meal. Unless he wanted the sonic-boom throwing up on Eggman's floor.

Once Eggman had handed him a plate of food, his skittish attitude towards being on an island nowhere near his old one vanished completely. Eggman's place was a chunk of earth and lava broken off of the bygone island, yet it felt safer than the previous island, when it came to that Sonic-Boom of a hedgehog's wellbeing, at least.

The blue stain in his life stood on a chair, his tail wagging excitedly as he immediately started eating what was on his plate. Apple slices, a hot dog cut into little pieces, crackers, and even a juicebox. It might've still been too much.

Eggman watched as sonic-boom ate. Making sure that he was properly eating. It would be a waste if all his cooking didn't help out the blue rat at all.

When he was mostly done with his food, Eggman decided that enough was enough.

"Alright you menacing blue fiend," he said. "I'm going to watch television on my floating screen. Don't break anything."

He walked over to the TV, grabbed the remote, and sat down.

"Maybe I'll watch that new comedy show with the monkey-ape-thing, that should be interesting."

No more than a few minutes had passed before The Sonic-boom came into the room and jumped onto the couch.

"What do you want now? I already fed you!"

The Sonic-boom yawned and crawled onto his lap, before half-tucking into a ball and closing his eyes.

"Ohh, no you don't!" Eggman said, he picked Sonic-boom up by the back quills and pulled him off of his lap. He set him down on the couch next to him. He whined annoyingly. Before racing back on. Great. Looks like that speed is kicking in...

"No, off!"

He raced back on.

"No, off!"

He raced back on.

"No, OFF!"

He raced back on, again. Eggman grit his teeth. "NO, OFF, SONIC!"

Eggman was so caught up in the stupid game that he forgot the rest of the blue hedgehog's title. He didn't care much however, because he had raced back on and clung to him for all he was worth. Eggman sighed and decided that he didn't care enough. He wasn't willing to do this all day, after all.

The Sonic sighed happily, and purred for a moment before he fell asleep.

And if Eggman freaked out? Well, at least it stayed on the inside.

I'm constantly explaining to people, how my skin/joints/bones work. Sometimes people believe me and let me rest through weirdly specific things. Other times they think I'm exaggerating about my constant dislocations and intense pain 24/7.

It's a constant struggle but aome abled people are nice, and genuinely consider your health, I promise!

What not a lot of people know about asthma is that different substances trigger it for different people. And because of this sometimes people without asthma won’t believe you when you tell them something is hurting you.

Like I’m fine around weed smoke and can even take a drag or two off a joint but if my brother catches even a whiff of marijuana smoke he’s already using his inhaler.

I can’t be around floral perfume but some of my friends with asthma can be. I can’t be around tobacco smoke but another friend of mine with asthma is a heavy smoker. Some people can run and exercise fairly easily. If I start running I get an attack fairly quickly.

Some people get attacks more easily in the fog. For some people wet weather helps. Some people get triggered by dust. I don’t. Someone I know does.

So just because your sister with asthma uses perfume doesn’t mean you can spray a bunch of it near your coworker who’s told you it sets off their asthma.

Believe people when they give you info about their chronic conditions, basically.

For this Disability Pride Month, I saw a post that was shittybad and it made me angry. So have this

Shadamy week - Day 4: Power Swap

Get ready for a cliche chonker of a oneshot! I had a whole list of each tarot card and what they meant but when I was adjusting the length almost all of them got the guillotine.

"Sorry, Amy, but I can't find anything wrong."

"What do you mean? Can't you feel it?"

The universe decided to be loud that morning. There wasn't a better way to describe it. When she had woken up that morning the world was buzzing terribly loudly. Combine that with the feeling of dread hanging in the air and it was a one way ticket to an emergency tarot reading.

Which was interesting to say the least. The first three out of five cards were all bad cards. Cards with implications of destruction and difficult trials. It made her feel like there was something she needed to fix in the world, or a test she needed to pass. 

The last two...

"Umm, no..." She could read tails like a book, he felt bad that he couldn't give her a good answer.

"But it's so loud!"

"I'm sorry, but I just can't hear it. I could run another diagnostic if you want?"

She nodded. The fuzz in the air around her was getting louder. And she couldn't help but curl inwards to protect herself.

So Tails turned his swivel chair back to the large computer screen from before. She watched Tails tinker with dozens of different graphs and measurements. Eggman's recent known activity, the flow of time, chaos energy in the vicinity. There were so many that she wondered how so much data could possibly be useful.

"Huh... That's odd."

She perked up, "What? What is it!?" Maybe this is what she needs to fix!

"Well, according to my readings, there's a bit more chaos energy in this area than there should be."

"Does chaos energy change like that often?"

Tails shook his head. "Almost never. The only time it fluctuates like this is if we have a chaos Emerald," he hesitated. "Or when Shadow is nearby."

Shadow..? "Why does he emit chaos energy?" She asked.

Tails opened his mouth to respond, but someone else beat him to it.

"I work with chaos powers." They both jumped and turned to the open garage door. Shadow, in all his glory, was standing there. Giving his usual 'somewhat unamused' expression. "Not to mention that most of my body is chaos energy transformed into matter."

"Hi shadow!" Amy smiled. Shadow was nicer than people give him credit for. Then she hesitated, looking at him closer as he walked in. He seemed... Pale. Was he okay?

"U-uh, yeah!" Tails said. "You're just in time for... Whatever Amy is dealing with."

 Shadow noticed her looking at him and turned towards Tails in defiance. "I'm not here to investigate Amy's personal issues. I'm here because I have my own."

Amy couldn't decide if Shadow was respecting her privacy or just being self-absorbed. She preferred the first one.

"Well, what is it?" Tails asked.

It took a moment before Shadow was willing to answer. "The world is quiet."

"What?" That- that couldn't be his response, right? 'The world is quiet'. That couldn't be more inaccurate.

"Um," Tails began, "What do you mean by that?"

"I mean, that the usual feeling of life around me is quiet. Too quiet to be me overlooking it."

Tails was still confused, and Shadow noticed. He sighed. "There's this... fuzz in the world. The air the plants, people, everything has it. It's not always the same intensity, since it depends on what is nearby, but it's always there. I've felt it my whole life, it feels wrong for it to just disappear overnight."

Tails hummed. A hand on his chin. "The only thing I can think of that matches that description is when I went Super. Perhaps it's chaos energy you're feeling. Or- not feeling."

"Hmm."

"Actually," Amy perked up. "I know what he's talking about!" They both looked at her, making her instantly regret the urge to speak up. It was especially bad when Shadow stared at her with those ruby red eyes. It was intimidating.

"I-I didn't know you went Super, Amy,' Tails said quietly.

'I haven't exactly..." She started messing with frills on her skirt. She had chosen lilac because it's known as a calming color, but it didn't feel like it was working. She shook her head. Don't be cliche, Amy! We've talked about this. "When I woke up this morning, I felt like every inch of my house was buzzing. The world was buzzing. And it... was scary. It didn't help when it came along with the bad... uh, energy today."

"That... doesn't make sense," Shadow said. 

Amy huffed. "You don't believe my story? Wh-"

"No, I believe you. You're too smart for this." Shadow complimenting her was not something she was expecting, and her train of thought came to a grinding stop. He looked surprised by himself too, but it was gone so quicky that she doubted it was ever there.

"I'm saying, that it's strange to take my ability to sense chaos energy, and give it to you. "Who or what would want to do that? Why that power? Why us? Why now?"

"That's a good point." She looked at his face again, trying to be subtle. He still looked pale.

"Why... are you doing that?" The sound in his voice was a mixture of anger, genuine confusion and... Fear? He wasn't nearly as easy to read as Tails, but she was going to try.

"Are you okay?" She asked.

"Huh? What does that have anything to do with it?" She stepped closer to see him better. Now only a foot or two apart. He was acting antsy. Fidgety, even.

"It has everything to do with it!" Tails said.

He sighed and looked away from Amy. Even taking a tiny step back. "Admittedly, I feel very light headed."

Tails perked up. "Oh! That could explain things! This is just an idea, b- well, theory, or hypothesis, or-"

"Spit it out, Fox."

"Right. It wouldn't make sense for someone to take that specific power, so who's to say they only took one?"

Amy and Shadow looked at each other.

"Shadow is largely made of chaos energy, but he uses his own chaos energy all the time, so he shouldn't be feeling this..."

Shadow picked up where Tails left off. "You're implying that they took more of my power than we think. All of my power, and gave it to Amy Rose." Tails nodded. "Why?"

Tails shrugged. "To get you out of your element, I guess. If you're busy trying to figure your powers, then whoever did this has extra time to do whatever they want."

"But, what if I didn't have his powers? That's more likely, right?" Asked Amy.

"Well, Both of you summon an attack outside and we'll see if it works."

Neither Shadow or Amy could argue with that logic. And outside they went.

Tails had a large runway for his plane, so they didn't need to worry about plants and animals being in danger.

Amy grinned. "I'll go first!" With a motion she'd done a thousand times over, she flicked her wrist to pull her hammer out of the ether.

But nothing happened.

She laughed nervously, and tried again.

Nothing happened. She glanced to Shadow who had a concerned look in his eyes.

"Uhh..." No! She couldn't let Shadow see her weak! She tried again.

 "uhh!" Again. At this point, she was getting frantic. She didn't have her only was to protect herself! "UHHH!" No matter how many times she's did it, it was the same results.

"Why isn't this working!" Her eyes were tearing up.

"Rose, relax." It was Shadow. He was a lot closer than before. Putting a hand on her shoulder. It was like he could read her mind. "You'll be okay. You're strong with or without your hammer..." Shadow trailed off. As if he caught himself saying something he shouldn't have.

Was his voice always this deep?

She took a deep breath. Her tense muscles loosened up. She looked over to Shadow.

"Thank you, Shadow." He stiffened at the compliment. And it took a few seconds for him to remember what he was doing.

He cleared his throat. "How do you usually summon your hammer?"

"Oh, um. This might sound dumb... But I imagine this little pocket in front of me, I reach in and grab my hammer, then pull it out with a flick of my wrist, and boom! It starts existing."

Shadow didn't say anything to that. Instead he stepped a few feet back and tried it for himself. She could tell what was happening easily. Trying to figure out where the pocket was supposed to be is somewhat jarring at the begining. It's like you're trying to decide where the pocket should be, without knowing the 'correct' spot.

Once he figured it out, he followed her instructions to a t. With a flick of his wrist, her hammer was summoned out of thin air. His first try. Her eyes went wide. She made eye contact with Shadow who was coming to the same conclusion.

"You- I- my-" Amy stuttered.

"You didn't just take my abilities," he said. "I took yours."

She was at a loss for words. She stared at Shadow. She barely noticed his reaction. But he started avoiding her gaze and nervously spinning the hammer in his hand. Then his ears perked up. He turned away from Amy, pulled the hammer as far back as he could, and smashed it into the ground. A huge bang hit the air and she watched the pink, sparkly, heart-shaped shockwave dissipate as it spread.

And it spread. It must've been a huge slam into the ground.

"Geez, dude!" She found her voice. "Careful! That could kill someone!"

All he did was look back at the hammer. "I see why you use this. It's very strong. And effective."

"I..." She trailed off. "Let's just- go back to Tails.

Unlike Sonic, who would either dismiss her concern or try and race her, Shadow nodded. And he kept with her walking pace. No signs of being bored. In fact, it looked like the exact opposite. Maybe something about the walk was calming. 

Shadow was unique like that.

}{}{}{

She wasn't the only one who was sick of Tails' lab at this point. They both sat together on a bench while tails went back and forth. Looking at the computer, to the two of them, back to the computer.

Shadow was giving a very annoyed expression, and Amy was smoothing out her dress far more than it needed. She was stressed, okay? She hated being without her hammer. She felt exposed.

Finally, Tails turned to them to speak.

"So, good news! You can switch back! Bad news... I don't know how. Yet. You're going to have to get used to your powers for a bit while I try to figure it out."

"Can't we just- not use our powers?" Shadow snorted beside her. She'd find the sound cute if it wasn't pointed to her.

"Good luck with all that." A cocky grin on his face.

"What's that supposed to mean!?"

"Chaos energy comes from the soul. You're pulling it out from the deepest reaches of your person. Because of this... You can accidently trigger chaos energy from raw emotion alone. Accidentally triggering chaos energy whenever I felt strongly about something... Was the first thing I learned to stop after I was created." His cocky demeanor vanished. He was giving her the time of day. It was sweet.

Didn't change what he said, though.

"Pshhh! I think I can handle a little Chaos Control!" She was trying to get the topic back to the casual banter, the safe zone.

"Chaos Control isn't what I'm worried about."

"Huh?"

"I'm worried about Chaos Blast."

"C-Chaos Blast?" She muttered. "That's the big red explosion you can do..." Shadow nodded.

"Chaos blast is a very emotional power, great if you're growing desperate during a fight, but when you've merely had a bad day, by the end of it you end up struggling to keep it locked away. And, no offence, Amy, you're extremely emotional."

"Wh- no! I'm... Okay, fair." She admitted. He gave a little snort at her words.

"But what am I supposed to do all day? I have stuff to do! People to see!"

"What people?" Asked Tails. She smiled sheepishly. Truth be told, she didn't know. But those last two cards in her reading were important. One of the two promised her survival through whatever strange trial that was destined to happen today, and the other... Was the one card she'd been failing to get ever since she gave up on Sonic. The Lovers card.

Unlike her situation with Sonic, she was determined to not ruin things. Make a good impression on whoever was supposed to notice her. Romance was literally in the cards today, and she wasn't going to miss it.

"I just- do, okay?"

"Well, if you're so bent on going out today," Shadow began. "I think the best course of action would be for me to accompany you."

I lot of things filled her head at that moment. First, she couldn't think of a time when she and Shadow had actually spent a day together, and she was kind of excited. But another thing she thought made her ashamed of herself.

What if the person she needs to meet is weirded out by Shadow? What if it ruins her chances forever?

She wasn't afraid of him. She knew he meant well in whatever he did, and she trusted that he was more than capable of doing whatever he set his mind to, but others didn't share the sentiment. Some stupid part of her mind conjured up a scenario where Shadow's accompaniment scared off the one. Him being too threatening or quiet.

Amy Rose! She yelled at herself. You know better than that! Anyone who judges you based on the company you keep isn't worth your time.

"We don't have to if you hate the idea that much," Shadow muttered. For a moment she thought he knew what she was thinking and her stomach filled with ice. But she realized it was because she was quiet for too long.

"NO! Uh, no. I don't mind at all." She glanced at him to gauge his response.

Disbelief. She couldn't tell if he was insulted, but he definitely didn't believe she was telling the truth.

"Honest." Still nothing. "I'm really fine w-"

"Don't lie to me, Rose."

That shut her up. What? Did he really think she hated him? Or was he just used to that treatment?

She glared at him. "Well jokes on you because now you're not gonna be able to get rid of me."

"What?"

She stood up and grabbed his wrist. "We're gonna spend all day together and it's going to be great." She pulled him to his feet and started dragging him out of the lab.

"Uh," Tails stuttered after them. "Well, have fun, you guys! Don't blow anything up!"

}{}{}{

"Y'know," she began. "I kinda expected you to fight more than this." She had dragged him all the way to station square. Not far from Tails' lab by any means, but he just let her drag him the whole way there.

He ripped his wrist out of her grasp. "Better?"

She rolled her eyes. "Not what I meant."

"I suggested this in the first place, remember?"

"Well, yeah but only because you didn't trust me to control my temper." She said it with a bit more animosity than she meant to.

Shadow took a while to respond to that.

"I just... I don't want you getting hurt. Chaos Blast hardly feels pleasant."

She turned to him. "What is it like?"

"Have you ever had a panic attack?"

"Um..."

"A long one?"

She shook her head.

"Good." It looked like he would leave it at that, but luckily he seemed to realize that was hardly comforting.

"Emotions are exhausting. Especially darker ones. There's a point at the end of a panic attack where you're not done being stressed mentally, but physically, you run out of energy to. It leaves you feeling... dead. Vacant. A dull sense of wrong is still there somewhere, but it's buried under wordless, empty exhaustion."

"That sounds awful." She muttered.

"That's the aftermath of a Chaos Blast. Or, it can be if you let it sneak up on you. You become too tired to still be angry. Not to mention all the property damage and potential lives in jeopardy."

"Y'know what? I'm glad you're here."

He laughed. Softly.

"You weren't before?"

"Stop twisting my words!"

The sky darkened slightly, and she looked up to see clouds covering the sun. She grimaced. The sun was farther in its path than she wanted. It felt like the day was slipping between her fingers. She glanced around at the other people walking around town. Mostly humans, as this was a much more human populated area than some other places. But there were plenty of Mobians wandering around as well.

Cats, hummingbirds, squirrels, everyone seemed to have somewhere to be. But as she glanced through the crowds, none of them looked like the one.

She hoped she hadn't missed them. Or that her talking with Shadow had made them think she was busy, and didn't have time for them.

"You seem distracted, Rose."

"Huh?" She turned back to face Shadow.

"Are you people watching for fun or is there someone you're looking for?"

She glanced back at the people. Some had vanished in the crowds, she hoped they hadn't been the one.

"Yes... No... Yes?"

"'To people watching or looking for someone?"

She groaned, covering her face. "I don't know! I guess I'm looking for someone!" The cement looked much more interesting then watching Shadow realize she was making a fool out of herself. She stared at the ground as they slowed to a stop.

"... What's wrong, Rose? Perhaps I can help."

She debated his suggestion. On one hand, he usually had something wise to say, on the other hand, she wasn't sure she wanted him to know why she was so invested in this one Tarot card. She really didn't want to come off as obsessive again.

Making up her mind, she took a deep breath. She didn't want to look at him. "You must've seen some of the many times I embarrassed myself in front of Sonic, right?"

He was quiet for a while. "...Yes."

A part of her died at the confession. If she ever wanted to impress Shadow, she already blew it. Good to know.

"Well, when I first met him it was because of a Tarot card reading." She sighed grumpily. "I pulled the Lovers card and decided I needed to find who it was about."

"You say that like it was the worst decision of your life."

Unlike what her usual instincts often told her, she decided she wouldn't say anything else until she knew how she wanted to say it.

Shadow was remarkably patient.

"I guess it was still the destined encounter the cards said it would be. But not in the way I was hoping. I was stupid about the whole thing. I figured whoever it was about saw romance the same way I did. That was dead wrong. I was stupid about that too."

"Are you... not over him?" He said it so softly. Like mentioning it would bother her. Or him.

"No, no, I am. It's just- the whole thing failed spectacularly because of me, and until today, I have never pulled that card again."

"You pulled it today."

"Yup... I have another shot." She said it almost wistfully. "I finally have another shot. But it had to be the stupid day with the stupid powers and stupid Amy Rose!"

"You're not stupid." He was so fast to correct her, that she stopped staring at the cement and looked at him.

As usual, he was hard to read. But he seemed attentive, and willing to help her out.

She stood up straight and looked around. "I feel like my day is slipping away from me. Any one of the people walking around us right now could be the one! I just don't want to ruin my chances like I did last time. Who knows if I'll ever draw it again." She laughed humorlessly. "I probably sound insane. Obsessing over a stupid piece of cardboard."

"No more insane than usual."

"Hey!" He smiled.

"If you want my opinion, I'd say that the deck was keeping it from you for a reason."

"Well, that much I got."

"So if it was keeping it from you for so long... Why give it to you now?"

"What do you mean?"

"I can't imagine that your deck, if as magical as you say, would just give it to you for no reason. I don't think you drew that card because someone will finally notice you today, I think you drew that card because you were ready."

She thought about it. Ready. Define ready? Ready to not screw this whole thing up? That sounded nice.

"Because I was ready?" She asked again. He nodded. "Oookay... What about the one?"

"What about them?"

"Are you saying that they might have noticed me before today?"

"It's certainly possible. I can't imagine something like this happening all at once." He had a point.

"Then why hasn't anything happened before now."

"Maybe you weren't ready."

"But what does that mean?!" 

He shrugged. "Maybe you're finally going to notice him."

She stopped. Huh. She never thought about it that way. That she wouldn't need to prove she was worth their time when they met. But that flipped the whole thing. Was there someone out there that she was ignoring when she shouldn't have been?

This was all so confusing. Maybe trying to play the whole thing in her favor was her problem. Maybe if she just kept an open mind, she would find the one.

"Geez, I'm making you my therapist!" He shrugged.

"I don't mind."

"Wanna grab a bite to eat? To make it up to you?"

It took a moment to hear a response. "...Okay."

}{}{}{

Shadow hadn't said anything in a while. It wasn't out of character for him to just keep quiet in social situations, but he seemed troubled. Of course, she could be misreading him.

"Since you were my therapist for so long, how about I be yours?" She said. She popped a strawberry from her dessert into her mouth.

"It's nothing."

"Is it though?" She asked.

"...The world is still quiet. That's all."

She blinked. "Oh. Um. I'm sorry. I forgot you're used to the sound."

He sighed but said nothing. She watched him take another bite of the cheesecake he ordered. She supposed she had no real reason to be thinking this, but there was something wrong with him looking so tense. It was wrong. And she needed to fix it.

 "I- am I stressing you out?" She asked. "I feel like I'm stressing you out."

He made eye contact with her and she stiffened. His red eyes were just so intense. 

"...No."

"You promise?" He nodded.

"What else were you planning on doing today. Something besides your tarot card reading and this whole, power swap situation."

"...No, I don't think there- wait, actually, yes! Do you mind helping me buy cupcakes?" 

"You need help doing that?"

"Yup!"

"Well then," he finished off his cheesecake and stood up. "Let's get moving."

}{}{}{

Shadow was incredibly helpful. She should've known. He helped her carry her dozens of cupcake trays. He didn't even ask or judge her when she stared buying cupcakes by the hundred. He was definitely curious about the whole thing, but when him and Amy walked over to libraries and hospitals to give them all out, he definitely figured it out. There was clear contentment in the way he walked around, gently offering cupcakes to the children in the hospital.

It was all fantastic. She didn't expect him to find it so enjoyable. It was almost distracting. There were several times where she got caught up in looking at him, watching him be so gentle and slow with his movements so he didn't scare the children away. She knew he was trying to counterbalance his more intimidating aspects, and it reminded her of the battle she had in her mind that morning. She was dead wrong. Shadow wasn't intimidating. He was amazing. And she would make sure everyone knew that as well as she did.

Eventually they ran out of cupcakes, and were walking back home. She was still conflicted about her card reading, but with Shadow around, she knew she wasn't wasting her time. She still wasn't quite sure about the whole trial, the cards had warned her about. So far the power swap seemed too uneventful to warrant three cards of destruction.

The sun was setting. It bathed the whole town in a dazzling orange. She almost turned to him to ask him what he thought of the whole thing, but someone interrupted her.

He couldn't be older than twenty, but he had the confidence of someone in their eighties. He wore a red baseball shirt, and the word on his tongue was enough to make her set a planet on fire.

"Freak!" That word bothered her much more than it should've. She glanced over to Shadow, who had frozen in place. "Go back to your asteroid! Oh wait! It's Gone! Maybe you should follow suit!"

Shadow growled. But made no move to defend himself. What was he doing!? He can't just stand there and take it! He could shut that guy up in seconds.

But he didn't. And that made her blood boil.

"You almost killed all of us! You're no hero! You're some 2D villain!"

"Excuse me!?" Amy yelled, startling both of them. "Since when was moving an entire space station to protect this planet 'villainous'!? Since when was stopping an asteroid from killing everyone with his bare hands and shoving it back into space 'villainous'!?" She tried to summon her hammer but it only fueled her anger, when her hands came up empty. It felt so unnatural. Like trying to push up your glasses only for them to not be there.

"Rose..." Shadow said. "You're- I need you to relax."

She took a step closer to the jerk insulting him. All words died in his mouth, and the guy stared at her with a scared expression. Good. She never looked this intimidating, but whatever it was, she would take it.

"I'll tell you one thing! Maybe look at the full picture before you go yelling at people on the street!"

"Rose," Shadow sounded more desperate. "Please!"

"Last I checked, no one is perfect! Maybe you should look at your own flaws before you go judging others! Like assuming you know everything, for example!"

The kid didn't wait and booked it in the other direction.

"I'm talking to y-"

"AMY!"

Her anger is cut short all at once and she notices the bright red glow surrounding- no, emanating from her. She flinched and tried to back up, hoping the bomb couldn't follow her. It did. Because she was the bomb. Her heart stopped when she realized what was happening.. 

The chaos blast he warned her about.

It was thick, and awfully startling. The feel of magic in the air was so potent, it felt like the air was thicker than it should be. Her breaths became shaky. When was it too late to stop this? Had she reached it? How big would the blast be? Was she going to kill people? Over losing her temper?

Her fur was going from pink do a deep red. It was awful. The red color was starting to spread to the air around her.

"Rose, stop." His deep voice managed to cut through her own thoughts. She looked at him with tears in her eyes.

"I-I don't want to hurt anyone."

"You won't," he said. "I promise, you won't." He took a step and immediately she could tell that he had crossed some sort of threshold. It was like he was being pushed away from her. It was like wind. But he was resolute and kept going. Slowly getting closer and closer...

No, he's going to get vaporized! He's too close! I'm going to kill him...

"No! Stay back!" She took a step backwards. "I'll hurt you."

"No, you won't." Another step forwards.

"You don't know that! What if you can't help me?"

"I do know that." He said, and he gazed into her eyes with his Ruby Red piercing ones. "Amy Rose, you are the bravest, kindest, most caring person I know. You're stubborn. And I love that about you. I love everything about you! You're stronger than this! I know you are. So please, trust me. Just this once. You can decide to hate me after this, but as I don't care as long as you're safe, for now, please. Let me in."

His words cleared up the air, and made it easier to breathe. She didn't know what to say. Did he really-

Step by step the red glow began to fade away.The wind was still there, she was still glowing, but the whole thing was less severe. And Shadow used the time he had gained from her stunned silence to get close to her. He was right there, right in front of her.

Shadow wasn't one for hugs. And Amy knew that. But he didn't hesitate. He knew, if there was ever a time to give her a hug, this is it. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in tight. She clung to him desperately. Pleading for him to fix the melting pot of emotions.. She put her head on his chest. 

"Breathe, Rose. Slowly. Deeply." She didn't realize she was hyperventilating. She struggled to stop, however. And it didn't take long for Shadow to start taking deep breaths himself. For her to copy. She could feel his breathing in his chest and slowly started to match her breathing with his.

It took a minute or two, of just burying her face in the fluff on Shadow's chest before the air felt normal again. She didn't want to trust that it was fully gone.

"You've stopped glowing."

"Really..? Are you sure?" A hum of agreement vibrated through the two of them. She Thought back to all of the things Shadow had said. It was

"Did- did you really mean all the things you said back there? Or was it just to get me to stop."

"I meant every word. Though. I... I probably wouldn't have the courage to say it without a scenario like this."

Tears filled her eyes, but she laughed a bit anyway. "I-I guess I should consider m-myself lucky, then..."

"I don't know that I'd call this 'luck'."

She laughed again. While burying herself deeper into his chest. Like he would vanish if she didn't hold onto him.

"Are... you alright?"

"Thank you for staying with me, Shadow. You should've run away when I started glowing."

He scoffed. "As if. I'm not going to leave you to such a fate. You deserve the world, Rose. I won't let anything happen to you. Not if I can help it."

"You're so sweet, Shadow."

"I don't know if that's the right way to put it. I'm hardly 'sweet'."

"You are around me."

"Well that's because..." He trailed off.

She sighed. "I'm done with your powers. Wanna go back to Tails and see if he's figured it out yet."

He mumbled it so quietly. If she wasn't so close, she would've assumed she hadn't heard anything at all.

"I don't want to leave... I want to stay here with you."

She glanced up at him. His red eyes were striking. Staring into them took her breath away. They were so full of passion. How had she not noticed before?

"This won't be the last time, I promise."

He sighed begrudgingly. "...Fine. I just. I don't get to do this often. One day with you alone and I spilled everything I felt."

She gave a tiny laugh as she pulled away. He groaned unhappily. Clearly upset about her leaving.

"I think this was a good thing," she said. "I think I know who the cards were talking about."

A/N: I forgor day three via procrastinating. It exists I promise! I just had too many ideas to get it done in time ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

I don't know why I feel the need to share this, maybe it's because it's been on my mind and it's 2:41 am and it's currently the "time is sludge... Again" part of the insomniac experience, but I want to talk about this. (This talks about my experience with happy stimming under the cut)

It was several years ago when I saw this comic of someone's happy stimming. She, like, waves her arms around and builds up this lovely yellow hue, and it's sparkly and then she expels all of it as at once and- it's truly a wonderful comic. I don't know where it is now. But it really captures the right feeling. And it was so cool... But I was kind of... I feel bad using strong words like "mortified" but that's the best way to say it.

Because Stimming was one of the many, MANY things I have in common with our lovely autistic community. And we're entering a world where people are starting to be able to be who we are and act how we feel, and I knew from the moment I saw it, that something was wrong. I didn't have a happy stim.

Most people who stim are forced to stop because humans are so bad at appreciating the abnormal, and that never happened to me. I'm lucky! But I didn't have a happy stim. And I knew I was supposed to. I immediately knew that. Knew it about me, me as a person. I knew it. There was a hole in me that was taken and I didn't know why! And it was terrifying.

And I kept thinking, And and I kept digging.

I knew about physical stims. With your hands and your feet and your hair. Most of my stims were those. I'd bounce my leg under a table, I tap the pads of my fingers together with my thumb if I was a specific kind of anxious, I move the bones in my wrists back to where they're supposed to be to try and fix things instinctually.

All of those were to get less anxious though. And my mother was always so open to things like that. So willing to learn about every diagnosis and piece of information that needed researching.

I knew about vocal stims. While most people were forced to stop for more crummy society reasons, that wasn't the case for me. I just... Didn't have any? I enjoy talking, I enjoy singing but they weren't... That comic. They didn't have the yellow feel-good-ness. They didn't have The thing.

I like swinging on swingsets. The momentum is nice. I think that counts as a stim but I usually did it to help, wouldn't-cha know it, anxiety. Help me sleep at night. It wasn't the thing.

In my house, you didn't listen to songs on repeat. My mother would lose it. You didn't loop songs in the car, it'd drive her batty. She'd probably have a panic attack. So I never thought of it as a thing? It didn't occur to me. When I got my own pair of headphones, I wouldn't drive her crazy by listening to anything on loop, I could go forever if I wanted. But I didn't. It wasn't a thing and I was apprehensive about it, that's not a thing we do. Don't to it. Even when my mind got loud about playing things on loop, I tried not to let it overcome me. That's not a thing. People don't do that. And I'd long since settled with the dismal answer of never knowing what the stim was. I hadn't even thought of checking because sounds like asmr hurt like sandpaper on my brain.

But recently, I don't know, something changed? I reeeally needed to hear this song again. So I went to the instrumental. And it was great there. I went to the vocal only, it was just the goodest sound. I went to covers and back and eventually I just let it play. I really let it smoosh into my head and memorized the instruments and felt them. It was like following a groove in a table by tracing your finger across it. It was just. The thing. I actually lost sleep because I was enjoying myself so much. I was so happy!

I talked with my mother about it. "I dunno, I really really wanted to hear that song over and over? it has a BAGPIPE in the second verse! Who wouldn't want to hear that!?"

"yeah, I could never do that. I guess my misophonia is too strong for that."

It was so eye opening. Misophonia. It was her misophonia, she'd never used that word before. And it hit me like a ton of bricks. Listening to this song on loop isn't bad, it's just a me thing.

And that's when I realized that I'd found the thing. I'd finally found my happy stim. I've decided to not cry about it, but this was such wonderful news. It's needlessly specific, and I don't know why my kid mind had labed "no looping" as Gospel? I mean there's a button for it and everything. But it's my thing.

I may never have some visible stim that people will see but I have my thing and I'm so beyond society possibly judging me.

I am on ADD meds, have overstimulation issues, anxiety, truly frightening physical disabilities I fight all beneath the surface. And I play the songs that have the thing about them on loop for five hours at a time. And I think I love me for it.

Whoever you are, you're you. You're more you than anyone else. That is something beautiful. You like Fanfic, go for it! You like art? Go for it! You like flapping your hands? Go for it! You like judging Disney for its questionable decisions as of late? Try not to kill them too much. They only mostly deserve it.

Being you is a gift that you should cherish, and reward yourself by being you. Not someone else.

For those that read this whole thing, the song in question is I've Had Enough of You from Billie Bust Up, a video game musical that's currently in development. Listen to all the stuff that's out so far, every song I've heard knocks it out of the park. Listen to it on loop if you want! I think we've established that listening to songs on loop does not, in fact, summon Satan.

Happy Stimming! (why does that sound like a holiday now?)

Okay as someone with severe comment anxiety this is an absolutely perfect basis for the way I receive comments too. You'll have to do something truly special to piss me off and all I want is to know I made people feel good :)

(I know the difference between "wary" and "weary" but my subconscious and phone don't seem to know and my brain never catches it ever when spell-checking and I live in fear)

not to be controversial bc I know this is like…not in line with shifting opinions on fanfic comment culture but if there’s a glaring typo in my work I will NOT be offended by pointing it out. if ao3 fucks up the formatting…I will also not be offended by having this pointed out…

‘looking forward to the next update’ and ‘I hope you update soon!’ are different vibes than a demand, and should be read in good faith because a reader is finding their way to tell you how much they love it. I will not be mad at this.

‘I don’t usually like this ship but this fic made me feel something’ is also incredibly high praise. I’m not going to get mad at this.

even ‘I love this fic but I’m curious about why you made [x] choice’ is just another way a reader is engaging in and putting thought into your work.

I just feel like a lot of authors take any comment that’s not perfectly articulated glowing praise in the exact manner they’re hoping to receive it in bad faith.

fic engagement has been dropping across the board over the last several years, and yes it’s frustrating but it isn’t as though I can’t see how it happens. comment anxiety can be a real thing. the last thing anyone wants to do is offend an author they love, and that means sometimes people default to silence.

idk where I’m going with this I guess aside from saying unless a comment is outright attacking me I’m never going to get mad at it, and I think a lot of authors should feel the same way. ESPECIALLY TYPOS PLZ GOD POINT OUT MY TYPOS.

update: the reason my house flooded (someone broke a sewer pipe) isn't the only reason. Apparently there's at least 8 different houses in my neighborhood that got hit with water damage one way or another. The city is gonna have a fun time trying to pay for all that.

Still. My house is up there in terms of the who suffered the most severely from this game.

So... My house flooded. At least my basement, where my room is.

I'm not going to go into details, because Internet privacy and all that, but the fanfics I'm working on, I'll either publish faster, or much, much, slower. I'll do my best to keep you updated :(