북리뷰 : 음의 방정식

오팬무 회사 출근 안하는 날은 집에서 오팬무는 無로 지낼 때도 있지만 예상치 못한 자극 때문에 젖을 때를 대비해 팬티 라이너를 하려면 팬티를 입을 때도 있어요. 외출할 때는 작고 타이트하고 이쁜 팬티를 골라입는다면 집에 있을 때는 밋밋한 패턴의 기본 팬티를 입어요. SHEIN 같은 데서 가성비 좋은 티팬티 산 것 중에는 기대만큼 쫀쫀하지 않아 평소에 거의 선택받지 못하는 애들이 있거든요. 저혼자 편하게 입을 때는 평소에 소외되었던 애들 챙겨주는 편.

[음의 방정식], 미야베 미유키 著

주말에 원래 리뷰하려던 책은 제가 2권을 사서 소추본부장님께 한 권 드리고 저도 읽으려고 했던 [무엇이 임원의 성패를 결정하는가] 라는 책인데요. 승진 축하로 펠라 봉사 같은 거 하는 거는 스페셜한 느낌이 없어서 같은 책을 읽고 얘기해 보려고 선물했었어요. 실제로 임원이 되서 경험하는 세계와 책에서 얘기하는 것이 얼마나 차이가 있는지도 궁금했거든요. 친오빠는 글로벌 거대기업의 연구임원이지만 그쪽은 커리어 패쓰가 완전히 달라서 얘기를 들어도 이해를 못할 것 같았고.. 바로 옆에서 보고듣는 생생한 현실의 이면이 더 궁금했거든요.

근데 이 책은 리뷰를 쓰기에는 적절하지 않은 일종의 매뉴얼 같은 것이라 둘만의 독토용으로 두는 게 나을 것 같아요.

대신에 전에 사두고 안 읽었던 미미 여사의 [음의 방정식]이라는 소설을 골랐습니다. 130여 페이지의 짧은 소설이어서 완독하는데 1시간 정도 걸린 듯 하네요. 읽기 시작하면 앉은 자리에서 독파할 수 있을 만큼 빠르게 넘어갑니다. 대신 일본 이름의 등장인물들이 많이 등장해서 아예 노트 한 페이지에 인물 관계도를 적어가며 읽었는데요. 지금 세어보니 딱 20명의 이름이 적혀 있군요.

사건은 사립 중학교 3학년 교실에서 발생합니다. "피난소 생활 체험 캠프"라는 이벤트로 하룻밤 교실바닥에서 자면서 비상시 상황을 시뮬레이션하는 체험 프로그램을 시행합니다. 자정 무렵 한 학생이 무단 이탈하는 사건이 발생하고, 그 원인에 대해 담임교사와 학생들의 주장이 완전히 다릅니다. 어느 한 쪽은 분명히 거짓말을 하고 있는 상황인데요. 학교 측은 일단 교사를 정직 처분하고 적당한 선에서 덮어버리려는 태도를 보입니다. 참가했던 학생 중의 한 명의 아버지로부터 조사 의뢰를 받은 남자 탐정이 주인공이고, 해당 교사의 의뢰를 받은 여자 변호사가 조연 정도가 되겠네요.

짧은 소설이어서 그런지 주인공이나 조연의 개성이 선명하게 들어나지 않아 호불호나 매력을 느낄 공간이 부족합니다. 탐정이 여기저기 탐문하러 다니는 과정에서 사건의 진실의 퍼즐 조각들이 슬슬 맞춰져 가는 것을 따라가는 재미가 있고요. 결말은 다소 반전이 있긴 하지만 무릎을 탁 치게 하는 신박한 면이 있는 건 아니에요.

본문 안에서 "음의 방정식"에 대한 주인공 탐정의 생각이 나옵니다. "음의 방정식이라고 나는 생각했다. 선생과 학생, 가르치는 쪽과 배우는 쪽, 이끄는 쪽과 따르는 쪽, 억압하는 쪽과 억압받는 쪽의 조합부터 잘못되었고, 그러니 어떤 숫자를 넣어도 마이너스 답만 나온다."

한가한 시간에 time killing용으로 소비하기엔 나쁘지 않은.. 그렇다고 오래 기억될 인상깊은 작품은 아니었다는 정도로 리뷰해 둘께요.

혜연 230827

Lesson in Good Behavior

I'd been bratty all day. I'd ducked and dived away from his warnings and gentle threats, just to frustrate him. It was only a game...wasn't it? In the summer sunshine, laid on soft grass, my mischievous smile and tongue between my teeth was enough to get away with bad behaviour for now. Surrounded by friends and warm laughter left us little time to play, but that didn't stop me from trying. I ran my fingernails along the inside of his arm, kissed the shell of his ear and breathed a little harder and a little faster, my tone suggesting anything but innocence. I brushed my lips along his cheek and neck, tracing his beard and finally finding his lips, but pulling away just before they touched my own. I'd trace my hands over his thighs, suck the tip of his finger when no one was looking and stretch my body in ways that were more than suggestive. The more time wore on and the more I did this, the more frustrated he got. Usually, 'that look' would make me stop but this time? It simply fuelled my fire.

That look. That look that made my insides liquefy and my heart beat thud in my chest. Everything around me seemed to grow quiet as he gazed at me. Icy blue eyes stilled my movements and in that single expression, I grew weak. His gaze said 'Stop.' - 'Behave.' - 'Be careful now pet...'. His gaze promised me wicked pleasures and intense pain when we were alone. His gaze promised everything my darkest desires wanted, and more. But this time, I simply giggled, chewed my lip and returned to my teasing. I wanted to know how far he would be willing to go.

Our evening moved on, the sun sinking and the night drawing in. He would have stayed with his friends, truly he would, but me beside him was becoming somewhat...problematic. He and I said our goodbyes and left, standing and walking away from the group. We strolled in silence for a while, arms swinging, finger tips brushing, not saying a word.

Now we were alone the tension was overwhelming and I truly was beginning to regret my earlier behaviour. The energy in the air around us was making my skin tingle and as we passed a wall, he moved. He was stronger than me, taller than me, and he knew exactly how to overpower me. One hand pushed me into the wall and I stumbled back, catching my balance just as the same hand that pushed me reached my shoulder and I was turned around.

Long fingers entwined around my throat from behind, forcing me to arch my spine and place my hands flat to the wall. I was trapped, my cheek pressed into cool stone and I was...aroused. We were alone, no one could hear us or see us for now. It was just me, and him. My chest rose and fell rapidly - he hadn't said a word yet. Why wasn't he speaking? But, the way he pulled my hips back and roughly spread my legs with his knee, he didn't need to speak. I knew the rules. When he put me in positions like this, I wasn't allowed to move, unless I was told. He stood, bent at the waist to whisper in my ear. His tone sent shivers from the top of my head to my toes and body ached from the anticipation of it all, his breath warm and his lips grazing my skin.

"Now tell me..." His voice, oh...his voice. I couldn't explain it - in that moment, it was all I ever wanted to hear. "Why have we stopped walking." I took a deep, shaky breath. I didn't trust myself to speak properly, at all. But I tried;

"Because...b-because..." I couldn't do it, my lips were trembling and his silent smirk wasn't helping. I was embarrassed, exposed and flustered. He tutted, and began to undo the bandanna from around his head. I expected him to tie my hands together, but instead he hooked a finger under my chin,

"As you can't speak properly for me, maybe it's better you don't speak at all, hmm...?" With that he opened my mouth and fastened the bandana into a gag. My eyes fluttered shut and I deliberately moaned as he tightened the cloth. As soon as that sound struggled past my lips, he gripped my throat aggressively, and I was instantly silent. He wasn't playing games here. This wasn't a bit of fun, I was in trouble. I'd been bad, I'd misbehaved, I'd broken the rules and now I was paying.

"I think someone needs a lesson on how to behave properly, don't you?" It was question that expected a response, but if I answered he'd choke me harder than he already was. My toes and fingers were tingling as he deprived my brain of blood, but it felt so incredible. Finally he let me go, and returned to standing behind me. Slowly his fingers danced up the backs of my thighs but he paused halfway to say softly;

"And, if you make one single sound through that gag, I'll give you a real reason to scream." I squeezed my eyes shut as his fingers continued exploring and I bit into the cloth, desperate to stay silent as my nerves burst into sensation. How did he know exactly where to touch me? He pushed my dress up over my ass, exposing my behind to the cool air, my legs stretched and spread apart, body weight balanced between my tiptoes and my arms on the wall. I knew what he was going to do.

Slowly, lazily almost, he hooked his thumbs beneath the material of my underwear and pulled them down my legs. I felt exposed, humiliated, scared...but I was so wet. I could feel the heat pulsing between my legs and my thighs trembled. I could sense him there, close enough touch me, but leaving me to wait. By now I'd be begging, pleading for him to fuck me...but Sir said keep quiet, so keep quiet I did. Spit soaked through the cloth between my teeth and ran down my chin as I panted and trembled where I stood.

I didn't expect it, and maybe I should have, but he spanked me. He brought the curve of his palm across my ass cheek and I gasped - it was the sound breaking the calm silence around us that shocked me, not the delicious pain that now rippled across my skin. I pushed myself back, pressing my ass into the air and desperately, silently asking for more, and I heard his chuckle, that purr of laughter I knew all too well. Right now this wasn't a so much a punishment, it was fun...but I knew I was in for more.

Then I heard it.

The noise.

Metal and leather. That's what I heard. He was taking his belt off. I swallowed and squeezed my eyes shut. We had safe words, he knew what to do if it got too much, but I was still scared. Anticipation, adrenaline, fear and pleasure rushed under my skin making me light headed. I heard him slide the leather free of the loops on his jeans, a knowing finger folding the strap in half and I felt my heart simply...stop. He pulled the two halves together sharply and the resounding snap that followed made me tremble even more. How was I going to keep quiet through this? But despite my fear, I wanted it. I wanted it more than anything right now. I needed him to hurt me.

He was gentle at first, warming my skin to the sensation. Little smacks, gentle swings of the loop and somehow, I managed to stay quiet. With each smack he got harder and faster. It was starting to hurt now and the feel of leather against my already tender skin was getting more and more unbearable and the sound was getting louder. I heard him murmur how well I was doing and despite my legs burning from muscle strain and my teeth clenched tight around my gag, I stayed. He was belting me now, hitting me hard enough to leave welts in my skin, but it felt good. It felt...incredible. The pleasure cut with the pain was intoxicating. My knees were shaking, my body was dropping with the intensity of it all and just as I thought I was going to collapse, he wrapped an arm around my waist and held me up. His free hand tightened in my hair and pulled my head back, making me stand upright. My underwear was pooled by my ankles, my thighs were sticky with how aroused I was and my backside was glowing. I'd be bruised by the morning, but I didn't care. I rested against him, and strong arms held me for a moment before he turned me round so he faced me. He dropped the belt and placed his cool hands on my burning ass cheeks. I thought it was over and all was forgiven, but the look in his eyes said other wise.

He rested my back against the wall, gazing down at me with such intensity I could hardly hold his stare. His left hand held my throat now, with pressure applied in just the right place as his other hand danced down my body. I was struggling to wriggle away from him, if he so much as brushed my clitoris I was going to cum, and I had to ask permission. I watched him open his mouth and murmur ever so softly;

"Is this what you wanted my little slut?" I still had the gag in my mouth but I nodded slowly, yes. Of course it's what I wanted but things like this, with him, were never that simple. His hand pressed between my legs and they parted without a struggle. He traced the soft folds beneath his fingers and my eyes were squeezed shut trying not to make a noise. He was teasing me, he was doing to me what I'd spent the last three hours doing to him. He'd started from the back and as his hand moved forward I felt his thumb press into my clitoris and I held my breath, desperately trying to fight back the waves of pleasure that came from one simple touch.

I came. I couldn't help it. The spanking, the belting, the pain across my delicate skin, the choking...the hair pulling, it all tangled into this moment. I was so on edge, so aroused that it just...happened. His eyes darkened with sadistic pleasure as I came undone in his hands. I couldn't cry out, I couldn't moan, I simply shook, my body only supported by his hands. My muscles fluttered in my belly and my eyes rolled back into my head as wave after wave of pleasure rushed over me.

He waited patiently, never moving his hands from where they rested, and when I'd finally calmed down, he let me go. I rested against the wall for a moment, panting heavily and waiting for him to remove the gag, my hands by my side. I felt weak, drained and dizzy but oh so euphoric. My fingers and toes were tingling and my heart was loud in my ears. He pulled the gag out of my mouth and immediately replaced it with the fingers that had been between my legs. I eagerly cleaned him up, licking away the sweet taste of my own body and gazing up at him as the fingers were taken away and gently cradled my chin.

He asked me to pick up my underwear, and put them in my bag, making sure I looked a little tidier before taking me by surprise one last time. As I went to walk, he stepped behind me and grabbed my ass harshly, digging his fingers into my tender skin. I stumbled, whimpered, still too shaken up to moan, and stopped dead;

"Have you learned your lesson pet?" I nodded vigorously;

"Y-yes Sir..." I could almost feel him smile, even though I couldn't see his face;

"Good...now let's get your pretty ass home." Again I went to move, but he didn't let go of me;

"So I can do this all over again."

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darksideenjoysmpleasure

1 year ago