It Sharpens Me Like A KNIFE

Kryoz: the french have given us many good things

Smitty: *at the same time as John* french toast

Kryoz: *at the same time as Smitty* the guillotine

so yesterday my boss (who is a big burly man with a lot of facial hair) was singing along to the radio and “wrecking ball” came on and he burst out “I CAME IN LIKE A WRECKING BALLLLLL” and kicked a garbage can across the room

i’m still laughing

Kryoz: i can’t believe this

Smitty: believe what?

Kryoz: that you’d do this to me

Smitty: what did i do-

Kryoz: YOURE MAKING YOURSELF LOOK CUTE AGAIN STOP IT IM TOO GAY FOR THIS

Unpopular opinion: straight people using “partner” to refer to their SO actually helps normalize the term so that lgbt folx can use it without automatically outing themselves to strangers. It also helps other straight ppl get comfortable with the fact that strangers aren’t entitled to information about other people’s gender or sexuality.

my brain is fired 

Did a how-to thingumbobber about taking lecture notes! I hope it helps!

This has been gathering dust in my camera roll for a while

teacher: any questions, class?

me: ya what the fuck

*Pete and Mikey outside the bus standing some what close* Frank: *sneezes*

*Mikey and Pete scamper away, in a spooked fashion*

Gerard: Nice going Frank!

Frank: I sneezed! What! So I can’t sneeze now!

Okay so one time in 7th grade at the very end of the year my home room teacher was moving classrooms and our English teacher was moving into the old one so we had a bunch of cardboard boxes left empty and so kids were just hanging out under them like hermit crabs and then we decided to take a picture and everybody got into a cardboard box and I was a pretty tiny kid so after we took the picture I tried to close the box and I FIT PERFECTLY INSIDE so the kids in my class and I thought it would be funny to prank a teacher by taking the box with me in it to a teacher and they told our teacher about it and he just said “Okay, which teacher do you want to go to?” And everybody decided to take me to our English teacher. Her current classroom was on the other side of the school. My home room teacher chose five people to escort me and my box on a spinning office chair down an elevator, across four hallways, and up a flight of stairs to our English room. They were giggling the whole way there and when we got there I hear them tell her the box was for her, she asked what was in it and then she opened the box and we stared at each other for five seconds before I croak out “hi”. She closes the box and I hear muffled yelling. I get out of the box and her home room is staring at me like I just came out of narnia and my classmates are laughing and I just walk away and that is the story of when I became a box.