I'M GOING FERAL

TW: negative talks of body image, gets a little smutty at the end, but nothing graphic

bf!Toji x gf!reader where reader is feeling insecure about her body and Toji comforts her like the sweet man he is of course...ehehe

A/N: This is (one of) my first posts of my writing...OMG. I've written before, but I'm pretty inconsistent and haven't really ever gotten serious about posting anything. Just doing this for funsies and to share my passion for anime, JJK, Toji, but I hope I'm playing by the rules correctly! Enjoy <3

You loved your boyfriend for his quiet strength. The way he never seemed to complain, the way he got shit done, the way he didn't mind getting his hands dirty, the way he didn't let his feelings get in the way of his objective. In your eyes, he was a real man, and you adored him for it.

But sometimes he could be so ignorant to the fact that you were the complete opposite of him.

Toji often found it perplexing how sensitive you were. He didn't understand how you could get so stressed about something he wouldn't think twice about. He thought it must be exhausting, living a day inside your mind, where the smallest of things had you spiraling over the edge. He wanted to make you feel better, but he didn't always know how to.

And now, he was entirely at a loss, watching you become increasingly frustrated with every outfit choice you tried out. He begrudgingly watched you unravel as you threw on different combinations of tops and bottoms, even trying out a couple of dresses, just to huff and discard them somewhere else in your shared bedroom, the space as chaotic as your mood. He couldn't grasp what the problem was. In his eyes, you looked great, hell, you looked stunning in every outfit you put on, but somehow you couldn't see it. You twirled around in the full-length mirror aimlessly, eyes scanning over every little flaw and imperfection, letting your negative thoughts run wild. Never mind the fact that the two of you would likely be late to the event, Toji was more worried about how you were going to act throughout the night if you were feeling badly about yourself. He hated when you were upset, and he was racking his brain for something comforting to say, but was coming up short.

You tried on another dress, one that hugged your curves. You frowned and turned to the side, your eyes immediately falling to the soft curve of your stomach. Toji watched you suck in and flatten your palm over the bump. He shook his head to himself as he watched you grimace at your natural, beautiful body. He was growing impatient.

"You look fine, doll," he finally huffed. "And our room looks like a bomb hit it."

You shot him a withering glance. "I look disgusting. I don't even want to go to this shit."

"(Y/N)..." his tone was full of concern. "Please don't do this. You look fine," he repeated stupidly.

"You're just saying that," you accused, pulling off the dress so that you didn't have to look at yourself in it anymore. "I look awful in everything I try on." You were frowning deeply, and Toji knew he'd have to try harder than that to get you to talk to yourself more kindly.

While you were busy searching through the piles to try on a specific blouse again, Toji came up behind you, lifting you with ease and tossing you onto the bed. You yelped, scrambling to cover your body as he stood at the edge.

"What are you doing?!" You yelled at him. "I need to find something or we're gonna be-"

"We're already gonna be late," Toji interrupted. He crawled onto the bed, not stopping until he had you trapped beneath him. "So we're not going anywhere until you admit that you're the cutest, sexiest, most beautiful girl in the world."

"Looks like we're never leaving the house again, then." You joked bitterly.

Toji slapped your bare thigh, making you yelp again. "Not another bad word about yourself. I fucking mean it."

"I hate the way I look right now, Toji," you admitted, tears prickling in your eyes. "I know it's exhausting. I'm sorry I'm so sensitive."

"Don't go crying on me baby, you know I hate that," Toji said more softly.

"I really don't want to go," you pleaded. The tears started rolling down your cheeks before you could stop them. You felt pathetic.

"Oh, sweetness." Toji rolled to your side, grabbing you and pulling you into his chest. He sat up slightly, and you straddled his lap, crying into his neck. His large hands cascaded down your back, reaching down to grip your bum before gliding all the way up to your hair. "We don't have to go. Would rather have my girl all to myself anyways," he murmured into your hair.

After a moment, you pulled back, and Toji wiped the wetness away from your cheeks with his thumb. "I really don't get what you see," he said. "I think you always look beautiful, no matter what you're wearing." He snuck a peak down at you now, in just a bra and underwear. "Or not wearing." He winked.

You smiled at his perverseness, before glancing down yourself. "But look at my tummy." You grabbed the plush skin.

"What about it?" Toji narrowed his eyes at you, before taking a hand away from your back to grip his own tummy. "I've got some rolls there too. We're sitting. That's normal."

"Barely," you scoffed.

In one swift movement, Toji had you on your back, blowing raspberries into your stomach. You giggled and squirmed, pushing his head away. "You weirdo!" You squealed. "Toji, c'mon, stop it!"

He lifted his head, hooking his hands behind your knees and tugging you towards him. "Your tummy is cute. You're cute." He splayed a hand across your torso. The proximity to your lower region made heat pool in your core.

And, you were slowly starting to believe him.

"Okay, okay fine." You rolled your eyes. "I guess...I'm not so bad looking."

"Not so bad?" Toji scoffed. "Doll, you're a smokeshow."

"You're so old," you laughed at him. "Nobody even says that anymore."

"Don't expect me to go easy on you just because you were crying a minute ago," Toji chuckled darkly, happy to see that you were getting back to your snarky self. He roughly lifted your hips, yanking your panties down your legs. You giggled excitedly as he lowered his head between your thighs.

"Let me show you just how beautiful I think you are."

“Think the evidence speaks for itself, Darlin’”

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DON’T look at me like that. I am a woman with a weak constitution.

This is, once again, inspired by a @sexintheseireitei fic, “Shinji Wears The Pant(ies) in This Relationship (NSFW)”. GO. READ. IT.

Its also inspired by that meme I reblogged from @toxictaicho showing the underwear he would wear.

TW: angst, mentions of smut, addiction

Kisuke and the reader have a friends with benefits type of deal going on

You never slept well in someone else's bed. Especially not Kisuke's. He always kept his room freezing, making it all the harder for you to sleep through the night. You woke up again and again, shivering, pulling his sheets tighter around yourself, though it was futile.

The sun had just begun to rise when you woke again, still trembling, aches rattling in your hips and core. You shuffled and tossed as gently and quietly as possible, trying to find a more comfortable position to see if you could squeeze in just a little more sleep.

Kisuke stirred next to you, causing you to tense up and freeze. With your back turned, you couldn't see him, but sensed his movement, heard his tired sigh as he sat up and fumbled around for something. Then, there was more weight, more warmth, added to your body as he pulled another layer of blanket over your shivering form.

He breathed another sleepy sigh before stilling once more, so easily whisked back into his slumber. You pulled the new blanket up a little higher, shutting your eyes more contentedly, though you still couldn't drift off so easily, not with your mind already planning out your escape, calculating where your various clothes were scattered and how you were going to put them on and gather your keys as quietly as possible, how you were going to slip out without having to face him, without having to see what he looked like with the early light pouring in through his window.

You could hardly sleep again, not with how loud your mind was and how you wished for the safety of your own bed. You creeped out from under the covers, wincing and freezing when the bed creaked under you. After confirming that Kisuke was still sleeping, you kept moving, tip toeing along the floor as you pulled your panties back up, clipped your bra on, threw your clothes back over your drained figure. You clenched your keys tightly off of his bedside desk, careful not to let them jingle.

It was about to be a success as you headed for the door, ready to slip out into the morning without a trace.

But then he called your name, his voice hoarse with exhaustion, not asking for you, demanding you. You reluctantly turned to face him, laying on his back with his chest exposed, staring at you with an intensity that made your chest burn.

"Why are you always running from me?" Kisuke asked, keeping his voice level, no hint of what emotion hid behind his question.

"I'm not running." You stood like a deer in headlights. You were running, just not fast enough, and now you were going to get hit.

"You're sneaking out," he observed, tucking his hands behind his head. "You always do."

You never expected him to say anything about it. It wasn't the first time you'd been caught, but it was the first time he was calling you out. It made your cheeks burn with embarrassment, to be seen by him in this way. Why now?

"Sorry," was all you could manage.

"I was inside you last night," he reminded you.

"What is this?" You asked him, clutching your keys tighter.

"I'm just curious," he said, his lips pulling into a grin. Just like that, his wall was back up, the easygoing, nonchalant facade. "Go on. I won't hold you up any longer."

Your mind, body, and heart were at war. A sudden wave of sadness pummeled you, and you knew you had to get out quickly. You weren't going to cry in front of him, especially not when he had that stupidly handsome grin on his face.

So you ran without looking back, an emptiness rapidly expanding in your chest. You knew what this was - an addiction, a poison, like any other drug, a bad habit you couldn't quit. You clung to the little joys and pleasures - the names he called you when he was inside of you, the innocent kisses he peppered along your nose and forehead, the demand that you look him in the eye when you took him in your mouth or when he took you in his, the promise, when you came, that you were his. My girl. Mine. You replayed those moments in your head over and over again until they weren't enough, until you needed more again, another dose. And then, like any high, there was always the crash - like right now. Anxiety, sadness, numbness, and the cold. It was always so cold.

When you were in the confines of your car, you sobbed, clutching at your chest, wishing you were anybody but yourself. Maybe if you had just a little more love for yourself, a little more backbone, a little more respect, you wouldn't run. You'd demand affection, you'd demand warmth, and if you didn't receive it, you'd leave and never come back. You'd ask for more blankets instead of shivering violently to the point where you couldn't sleep. Maybe you'd even curl up against him. You'd touch him and let him touch you without it having to be sexual because yes, you were inside me.

I was inside you last night. It was incomplete. Where was the rest of what he wanted to say? I was inside you last night, and now you can hardly look at me? You can't stay longer? You can't even wake me up to tell me goodbye?

It made you cry angry tears now, cycling through the stages of grief all in one morning. How could he expect you not to run? He always noticed how cold you were too late. If only he had pulled you into his embrace instead of turning away, or give you clothing of his to stay warm. If only he had just made it clear that he wanted you to stay, that you weren't a burden or just a body taking up extra space in his bed. You may have been running, but he sure as hell wasn't doing much of anything to chase after you.

You had your own sentence to complete. You were inside me, and now you can't even hold me?! You can't even ask if I'm warm enough?! If I'm okay?!

Alone again, you piled on as many blankets as you wanted. You dried your tears and you caught up on the sleep you missed when you were too afraid of how big your heart was and too afraid that he would hear it beat for him. You ignored the biggest fear of all, that you'd never stop running, that it would always end in this way, with you, alone.

A/N: woke up cold, sore, and not in my own bed this morning + can't stop thinking about Kisuke, and what do ya know, it inspired me to write this !!! i'm a BIG irish exit girly, for better or worse :') (probs worse). i'm also extremely passive and avoidant, all this to say, this is definitely a personal piece. i promise im fine !! im much happier than i used to be, but alas, healing isn't linear and sometimes those bad habits like to creep back in.

to anyone who feels like they're alone, who feels like their heart's too big for this world and their passion too loud, i promise you, you're not alone, and please don't ever stop being the beacon of love and light that you are. take care of yourself. set boundaries. be vulnerable. be LOVE

<333

hiii i was wondering if you could do some fluff maybe when they find out that ur having really bad period cramps and they try to comfort you or ur going through smth and they just comfort u over that anything along those lines tbh i would like if u included shunsui uryu kisuke and all the other men u usually write abt tbh :)

They would prioritise soothing your pain through physical touch—massaging your lower back, offering you a warm towel, letting you lie on their chest, and holding you close. They wouldn’t talk much unless you initiated it, but their presence would be soothing.

— Shunsui, Jushiro, Starrk, Hisagi, Shinji*

They’d go into full “take care of you” mode—bringing snacks, tea, painkillers, running a bath, fetching a hot water bottle, and fussing over you to make sure you don’t have to lift a finger. They’d probably ask if you want anything every five minutes.

— Renji, Ichigo, Bazz-B, Kisuke, Uryu*, Gin, Kira

Would take a more medical or rational approach—offering medication, making sure you’re hydrated, helping you into bed, checking your temperature if needed, and asking logical questions, with care and concern.

— Toshiro, Askin, Yhwach, Uryu*, Ryuken, Shinji*, Jugram, Aizen

They’d be confused or uncomfortable at first—not because they don’t care, but because they’re unsure what to do. Still, they’d try their best and take your lead, slowly figuring out how to comfort you in their own slightly clumsy but sweet way.

— Kenpachi, Grimmjow, Ulquiorra

hmmm how Shinji is gonna cheer Kisuke up

Shinji hates the typical, corny "ass or tits" question. Don't make him choose! He likes both! Your thighs too!

"Stop pretending like you're not a pervert and pick one," you scoffed at him when he responded "your personality," after you asked him the age-old question.

"I'm not pretending, I am a pervert," he admitted with a wolfish grin. "That's why I'm not picking one. I love all equally. I refuse to choose."

"Really?" You crossed your arms, glaring at him skeptically. "You don't like one more than the other, not even a little?"

"Nope." He shrugged, before noticing the ghost of a frown on your face. He narrowed his eyes at you, skeptical as to why you looked so disappointed in his refusal to respond. "What's this about?" You normally never cared so much about such trivial, surface-level things.

You feigned innocence. "It's just a question."

"No, you're up to something," he accused, coming to stand over you. "Go on, tell me."

You sighed. "Fine. Someone said I had a small butt the other day and I was just curious." You averted your eyes from his. "I guess I just thought if you said you liked my tits better, then it would be true, that I don't have that great of a butt..."

"Baby." Shinji frowned, grabbing your waist and pulling you in. "Who said that? Should I kill them?"

You giggled and shook your head. "No, I'm sure they didn't mean anything by it. Just took it personally is all." You shrugged sadly.

"Well, don't let anyone make you feel bad about your body," Shinji scolded lovingly, reaching around to give your bum an affectionate squeeze. "You have a great ass and great tits that I love so much. And an even prettier soul. You're beautiful inside and out," he said seriously, sealing the deal with a kiss to your cheek.

"Thank you." You smiled up at him, instantly feeling better with just a little reassurance from him. "You are too. My handsome man."

"Yeah, yeah, I know." He smirked. "So which do you like better? My ass? Or my cock, I guess?" Back to being a goofball.

"I'm not answering that." You shoved him away playfully. "Weirdo."

"It's just a question!" He whined.

You supposed you understood now, his difficulty in picking just one thing about you. You couldn't choose one thing about him either. You loved all of Shinji Hirako.

crush me with your biceps Kensei plssss

I lovee tis sexy muscle man 💓

少女S☆ 2

i had a dream last night that Shinji and Kisuke were sitting at a table across from me, and i was not-so-subtly staring at them on and off and Shinji caught on that i was staring and was making faces trying to get my attention again so i pretended that i didn't notice him 😭😭😭 looking out the window all mysterious LMAOOOO

I just finished Sunrise on the Reaping and it's pretty hilarious how Suzanne Collins wrote an enemies-to-lovers slow burn BY ACCIDENT and frantically had to backtrack.