Ch.2 To be loved
Seeing him was the highlight of my day. I remembered when I was nothing but an orphan, though I can't remember my biological parents. I sometimes like to think they died. It was the best way for me when I was just a kid. To accept the fact that even the ones who gave you life viewed as nothing but a mistake was difficult. My mother viewed her destiny as saving her country, getting rid of the drugs that were taking lives. In my opinion, people died all the time. Life was hard. We have no idea what someone is going through until they are pushed to the end. She would never understand that struggle. That pain. When I heard it was si-o behind all this, I had to know why. People have reasons, I had to be the one to see the good in him. Even if no one else could. I was falling in love, love makes you do dumb things.
Whether I was dumb or hopeless, I wanted to know him. Not the version he showed to the public, the fake smiles meant nothing to me. I wanted to see him truly smile, to be happy. I happened to be at one of my mothers many chain restaurants. And to my luck sitting there was the man I had hoped for, now I hadn't prepared myself to speak to him and I realized that when he had made eye contact with me. Stern, serious glare like he knew I was watching him. Talking to people wasn't necessarily the issue. I talked my way out of parking tickets, jail, and even school punishments as a child. I was a smooth talker, one thing I developed from my mom. Though he made me nervous, my hands were sweating, and I had the urge to convert into oxygen. I wanted to cry because as much as I hated to admit it, his opinion of me meant a lot. One accidental interaction, and I was hooked. He knew me as Tseg tseg rich spoiled friend. I wanted him to see me. It already pissed me off that he had eyes for my sister. She took everything from me without even fucking trying. I had to man up and fight for what I wanted.
"Hello sir, you probably don't know me, but my name is Danny. We kinda met before when I bumped into you at your company." He smiled though I could tell it was fake, after years of faking happiness myself. I knew a fake smile from a mile away. "Right, your Tseg's little friend, correct?" Irritation couldn't even be used as the word for what I felt in that moment, I wanted him to see me. "Technically, that's how we met, though I just wanted to say something t-to you. Please." I stood up drawing attention to myself truly not what I needed right now, but I had to tell him before anything else happened. My anxiety was through the roof, I wanted to crawl into a hole and die right then and there standing under his intimidating stare. I had to do this, though. He was the first person I felt genuine feelings for, and I didn't even know him personally. The effect he had on me was outrageous.
"I wanted to go out with you. I want to get to know you, and I know I'm not korean, and your parents may have an issue with that, but I mean Nationality vise I am. Everyone thinks I'm just this spoiled rich assshole, but i im not, and i want to show you that there is more to me than my money or parents' money. I have korean parents, so that counts, I'm well accounted for, and I have seen you before, and you're all I think about no matter what. I try to get my mind off of you, and my brain proceeds to show different connections to you. And if you p-plan to reject me, just sit here and silence, and I won't ever bother you again. Well, I hope so, I can try." He was astonished but my speech. Everyone had turned their attention towards us and started clapping. I hadn't even noticed at first. I couldn't handle rejection, especially not by him. I wanted to be with him, breathe in his scent, and help him with anything. Live a life with him. Silence was what I got, and I took the message. I had embarrassed him and myself.
Suddenly, walking out, trying to hold back tears, I was 5 years old me again. I'm sitting at my dance recital waiting for my mommy. She promised she would come today since I told her how much this meant to me. Sitting there for the next 4 hours in nothing but silence was the worst feeling a child could feel. The competition was over, I didn't even dance, missing a chance to get picked for a major academy. I saw dad pull up. Why did she hate me so much. "Honey, you didn't tell me you had a competition today, and I found the scouts there as well. I would've shown up, baby." I stared at him. I was a daddy's girl simply because my mother broke my heart before I could ever feel love from her. "I didn't tell you because I told Mommy. I wanted her to come watch me this time. To surprise her with my skills." Just glancing at him, I knew that look, the look of a father who was afraid to break their already broken child. I snapped out of it when I felt someone shaking my shoulders. Looking up, it was him. "I've been calling you for 20 minutes. You almost got hit by that truck. Are you even paying attention?" I stared at him, I didn't know what to say, would he care enough to hear. "You ran out before I could say anything. Scared? You're very pretty. And bold. I've never had someone confess their love for me in a public area at that. I admire that, while I don't really know you, I would like to get to know you. Experience something."
I was so happy at that moment that I completely ignored the world around me. I jumped onto him. He was startled at first but caught me with ease. I leaned back and cupped his face, pecking his cheek, and for that first time, I saw a genuine smile. A real surprise for me, I enjoyed it. "You look beautiful when you smile, like a hidden jem only made for the luckiest humans to gaze at." He stared at me, blushing. From that moment, we slowly got to know each other, getting closer day and night. Developing an unbreakable bond. I didn't care he was a so-called criminal. When I was with him, none of that mattered. I never asked about his business, letting him know if he wanted to tell me he could. I kept this from my family, I knew they would never approve of what we had, especially my mother. She didn't give a shit about me, but in a situation like this, she saw him as an enemy.
We sat at a Korean BBQ shop. It was simply nice to spend time at a place with no worries. "I could've taken you someone nicer, you know." I placed some meat on the grill what grabbing a piece and putting it in front of his mouth. He smiled and opened his mouth to eat it. "Is it good? And you know I don't care about expensive restaurants. I've been to enough in my lifetime. I just want to be with you. To be honest, you could've gotten fried chicken and took to me the beach to eat. It's the thought that counts, babe." He smiled at me, I smiled back until I realized the petname I gave him immediately going to apologize. "It's fine, I actually like it. Babe." Blushing, I gave him more meat. We talked about our days, he was stressed and I wanted to help. Thought he said I shouldn't stress myself. We finished eating and literally had a full-on battle over who would pay the bill. I won, "Maybe I'll let you pay next time." He laughed, grabbing my hand and walking out of the shop. While pda was no foreign concept to me, it still made me feel like it was the first interaction between us each time it happened. "Come home with me, please." I stared at him in shock. He had never asked me this. I had no experience in relationships, but usually, that leads to other things. I didn't know what was gonna happen, but I trusted him.
We showed up to his home. He told me to wash up for the night. I happily got in the shower to think I was happy. A foreign feeling. My shower lasted well over 30 minutes, I looked down and saw a towel and a button-up shirt. Luckily, I always kept a spare thong with me. Putting on the clothes, I walked out of the bathroom to find him already washed up and laying in bed. A blue robe and pajama pants on while he was on the phone. I walked out of the room to got place my clothes in the hamper, then grabbed a glass of water. I was drinking it while examining the home I had never been inside. Eventually, I walked back towards the room where he was done with his phone call. And looked up with a dropped jaw. I smiled at his antics. "You're still so pretty. With and without the makeup. Come here." Walking slowly towards his bed, he gestured for me to move closer. I crawled to him, and apparently, it wasn't close enough because he picked me up and placed me on his lap while holding my hips. I felt nervous. He noticed squeezing my hips with his larm hands.
I grabbed one of his hands, placing them in mine. Comparing the size and then kissing his palms, I looked up at him to see a bright smile. "I'm not tired yet." I told him it usually took me a while to go to sleep. I was just always up. He nodded and pulled me closer in a hug. Affection from si-o was always the best. I could tell he wasn't the most affectionate person, so I didn't push him. Though I craved his touch, I craved everything about him. Looking out the window, I saw the stars. "This reminds me of when my mom took me and my siblings camping once. It was weird, though it was fun." I continued to look at the stars until he spoke up. "You don't talk about your mother much. Actually, you don't talk about her at all. For a second, I thought she had passed." I was shocked by the thought of my mothers absence. Sure, I never spoke about her because there weren't any good memories, to be honest. "It's fine if you don't want to speak about it." I looked at his face full of concern he was so patient with me, but I wanted him to know and trust me like I did him. "It's ok, it's just.....there isn't much to talk about, you know. She was there but not there. She was always focused on my older sister. She was the amazing daughter who could do no wrong. And I was simply the girl that lived in her house, or that's what it felt like. Sometimes, it felt like I didn't have a mom to begin with. To think I used to pray to have a mother that would be there for me. Then my sister went missing, and as much as I hate to say it, I was happy, for once I though she would pay attention to me, realizing she had two daughters but it only got worse. I was just there, and I hated myself for the fact that I was happy my sister was gone. I've always been jealous of her she is better in every way. That's so evil of me, but I was so fucking lonely. She is such a good person, and makes friends so easily and everyone likes her but me they look down on me. I'm nothing more then a spoiled bitch using her parents credit card to fill the void."
Before I noticed, I was full on sobbing in front of him. I broke down, secrets I've never told anyone in my life. I was afraid of what the world would think of me. He grabbed my shaking hands, kissing them slowly, whining, moving up to wipe my tears. "Your feelings are normal baby, you went your entire life playing second place because your mother is a terrible mother, no offense. A bit of a bitch you know. No secret there since she is Hwang Geum Joo." Hearing that part made me laugh. Until I sat there shocked he knew of my parent. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you." It was all I could say at the moment. He looked at me and pressed against my cheeks, letting me know it was ok. And he underdtood the urge to protect her even if she wanst good to me. Or cared for me, it seems."You are so amazing and kind and beautiful. She isn't better than you at all. I wish you could see the way I see you. You have lightened up my world as a whole. I was nothing but a cold, damaged asshole when I met you, then I realized no matter how my life pushes and kicks your ass its your choice to get back up. To keep going, you taught me that baby. All the drug business and shady stuff I do, you don't judge me at all. Sitting by my side supporting me no matter what I choose to do. When I was an orphan and Pavel took me in, trained me to become the person I am today, hit after hit. Missed meal after another, I prayed for a better life. You have provided that life." Hearing those words, my heart was swelled. I felt nothing but love for the first time someone chose me, loves me. I wasn't an option. I was a need. "I'm so glad you chose me or tseg." Hearing that, he laughing pulling me closer if that was possible. "I never liked tseg baby, she is a worker at my company that'd all. If anything, I had my eyes on you since you walked into the building." Similing in pure joy, I leaped forward, causing a groan to come of his mouth. Scared I hurt him, I tried to get up until he forced my hips back down. It was then I realized I hadn't hurt him. In fact, the moment u felt something hard poking me thigh, I blushed.
"How in the world did you get hard, sir?" He simply smiled at my words, moving me forward to the point where I was sitting directly on top of his hard on. My core pushed further into it slowly until he began grinding me against him. I couldn't help but moan. It all felt too good. "Have you seen my beautiful girlfriend sitting right on top of me in nothing but my shirt? If anything, it was difficult not to." Moans slipped from my mouth before I could let out a sarcastic response. Finally, I said the words I had been so afraid to ever tell anyone. "I love y-you." Hearing this, he sped up my hips against his, leaning in to capture my lips into a kiss. "I love you more, baby." We continued until we were left naked and bare before each other, and all the insecurities, abandonment issues, and pain left my mind. Leaving nothing but si-o. The night was a night to remember.
Stay tuned for chapter 3.
Hope yall are ready for part 2 of my byeon fix because I've been planning, and it shall be really juicy. Also have two more requests coming out soooo excitedddddd
Do yall want more smut ? Like kpop smut?
My literal crush as a kid
Y’all I’ve been rereading my stories for inspiration and I’m gonna start but y’all have to wait until I finish school tbh cuz it’s the end of the year and my teacher is giving project after project and I can’t keep up with everything. Maybe like once May starts or something. I’m gonna continue with the Byeon story and ofc the Spencer story.
Thank you non-con or dub-con is all sick and disgusting.
non con is a fancy word to say r*pe. hope this helps.
btw the # related to r*pe kink has 17k followers on tumblr.
y’all are fucking terrifying.
The best
"Hello, we are the feisty, sexy JAM REPUBLIC!!" The yelling always gets me, I sit there smiling while fixing my dress or simply trying to pull it down. When the girls agreed on wearing black, I showed up in pink, trying to represent all both of the national colors. I was then given a blanket as I thanked the staff and placed it on my lap. "We are here to work hard, though I can say I'm excited to see what everyone brings to the table. It's fun because we are the serious judges now." I stated while smiling at my team and holding Audrey's hand. We are then brought the cards, "I have a feeling about some of the other teams. What do you think about it, babes?" She turned around, showing off her little dimples before saying, "I feel like it's gonna be some teams we have seen before and a few mysterious ones, you know."
I agree before adjusting the blanket on my lap and watching our wonderful leader reveal the crew. Of course, when I saw BEBE, I wasn't shocked. Bada and I had been dating for a while, technically before the show started, well, at least in her opinion. She had been trying to get with me way before we got to street women fighter, but I genuinely believed those feelings weren't real. No matter how much she tried to tell me of send me gifts and pick me up from work. I know what you're thinking, "like fuck can you be any more dense." Well in my opinion I've had people work extremely hard for a fuck, I'm talking overtime with no breaks. Though she showed me the real her and we opened up to each other about some tough situations and at that moment I knew I was in love with her. Shit I had been the entire time, and I was simply trying to protect my heart.
Other crews weren't exactly a surprise either, though when 1MILLION added another dancer I was a but surprised, I've seen her dancing style for a while and she was good as fuck. "New scenery, me like it, girls." Latrice laughed at me while hitting my shoulder, with Kirsten giving us the motherly like pointed eye stare, meaning she meant business. Though in this situation I think it just meant to shut the fuck up politely. We saw some other times with Hook coming back and making an appearance, Aiki was a judge last time I saw her, and even though I didn't watch her season, I've heard great things about her. Like Bada, she had her students on her crew, and they showed out. "Still can't believe she is older than us or has a kid." We joked a lot about how the hottest people on set were taken.
Seeing LA CHICA was new as well. As soon as the cameras turned off, Latrice looked at me. "Is it bad I don't know the last crew?" I laughed at that. I mean shit not that funny but funny. "Stop laughing and tell me what they have done." I tried to stop my laughs but ended up laughing harder. "To be honest, the leader is just known for a lot of cultural appropriation in my book." The rest of the girls turned around with Kirsten stated we are in korea, so that's accurate.' We all start to get up and move towards set. We were really the only ones to film the outro since we arrived late. Seeing all the crews stand sit there on their podiums was kinda amazing, mainly knowing we would go up there as well. "Funny how we aren't the ones dancing."
After a while of sitting and the occasional introductions of different crews. We also had the smoke challenge performed by BEBE that awed the crowd. We were finally sitting down, and a few selective girls had already shown their dancing skills. Everything was going well so far. Until some girl thought she could pull a sexy choreography. It was actually sad to watch. "It simply wasn't for me, I felt like it could've had more of a wow factor or just better moves. Everything seemed sloppy, and it didn't fit your persona at all." Everyone looked at me after the harsh criticism, I guess no one expected me to be real. I turned to the side to notice Redlic has been winking at me. Weird. You see, me and her didn't exactly have a friendship. She and Bada were friends due to working together previously on dances as well as classes. In my opinion she was too friendly.
Though, not to Bada but to me. She was always winking and trying to hug me or asking me on dates. Now everyone pretty much knew that me and Bada were a thing except the public per my decision. Bada thought it would be a good idea to show the world our love, and while I was glad she wasn't ashamed of it, I knew the outcomes of it. Now I'm not scared by any means of what the world has to say, shit I came out while working as a dancer for beyonce during a tour to thousands of people. But, those opinions mattered to Bada, and as much as she liked to tell me this and that I knew the truth. Redlic saw this as an opportunity even going as far as stated. If you aren't public, then it doesn't really count. After a while, I realized I spaced out and was brought back to reality when I heard Redlic open her mouth. "I'm sure my sqeet angel Ellie could show you how it's done. She is known for being sexy without trying. I mean, come on, people just look at her."
I sat there shocked while plastering on a fake smile shyly shaking my head to disagree with her statement. But it was too late. She had already convinced half of the crowd, and before I knew it, everyone expected me to dance. I took a look over in my girlfriends direction and saw her face. She was smiling, but I knew that smile. She was anything hut happy. She also looked like she wanted to kick Redlics ass. I guess I was taking too long before I felt a hand reaching over to grab me and pull me to the stage. I looked over and saw Redlic smiling at me, telling the crowd to watch and learn. "So much for not dancing today." I whispered. I heard the music, Beyonce, of course it was. Realizing they had decided to play partition out of all the songs seemed like the world was against me today. Redlic had grabbed my hip, squeezing it while smiling at me. At that moment I knew I was fucked.
We danced together with me, somehow ending up between her legs while smirking st thr camera seductively. Might as well put on a show. If anyone would see us, they would think we were involved or fucking. After we finished, she pulled me closer. It almost looked like we were kissing, so I pushed her away softly and laughed nervously. Seeing the look on Bada's face, let me know I wasn't gonna walk tomorrow. I heard the crowd giving us applauds with Redlic, not trying to let go of my waist, like girl you trying to get me killed in this bitch. After a while, we were called on break. I was scared as shit obviously. I managed to avoid Bada for some time before I was waking down the hall going back to meet uo with the girls after getting a snack, and I saw Lusher. I tried to slowly back away, and she noticed to me. "Bada said she would like to talk to you, unnie, and she said she wouldn't bet on you running because you know. I don't really know what the second part means, but apparently, she said you do so, yea. She is in our crew room, and she seemed pissed so I wouldn't keep her waiting. Plus, you two live together, so don't prolong the war." At times like this, I wish she wasn't so clueless. She was literally leading me to my death.
I sighed and started walking to the direction of the crew room, fuck I can already feel the pain in my legs. As I was trying to give myself a little pep talk I realized I was standing in front of the door. Thinking about it, maybe this was a bad idea. Fuck I'm scared. "Get you ass in here, and don't make me repeat myself, little girl." Yearing her voice like that kinda turned me on until I realized she was gonna murder me. I walked into the room, seeing her sit there on the couch man spreading while staring at me with a glare. "You put on quite the show, didn't you? I would say I loved it, but I mean, did I baby? Was a bit confused on why you randomly decided to throw you ass. Wait, let me rephrase that. Throw my ass back against that girl." She motioned me to walk over na di stood between her legs until she pulled me down. "You hear that, my ass. Because you mine, belong to me. All of you are mine. Seems like you forgot, let me remind you then, what do you say, baby?" I nodded mindless to her commands. "Who's the best baby, say it?" I could barely heat her when she started to grind me against her lap. "Say it pretty." I managed to mutter it out finally. "You're the best, baby. Only you. Always you."
(Request by @pinksults)
Chapter 2
After walking out, I step inside the Street Women Fighter set. Looking around the room, I hear everyone cheering me on and just smile. Then I heard our iconic PROUDMON song and started to do our famous dance. Everyone starts to cheer even louder. Eventually, I go and sit down in the judges' chair, and the other judges are revealed. After Mike and Shownu step on, we start to move on to the actual competition. I start to slowly gaze around the room to see the difference in the crews, only to be stuck on one specific pair of gorgeous eyes.
It almost feels like time stops for a second, as chic as that sounds. I start to analyze everything about her eyes. The light green mixture of Christmas ornaments. I then look further down and stare at every aspect of her. She is fucking gorgeous. The most beautiful women I've ever seen. But once I look back at her eyes, I notice she is already staring at me with a dangerous gaze. Her eyes dont have an innocent glow. She is staring at me like she has other intents. Her eyes dont resemble precious ornaments, and no, they are full of wonder. She has more of a furious approach. They remind me of a deadly river.
I eventually break eye contact when Daniel starts speaking about the first part of the competition. I guess we are about to begin with the no-respect battles, so everyone is told to take a break to change their clothes.i can still feel her stare burning into me. And she isn't trying to be shy about it. Almost like she wants me to know, or maybe I'm just overthinking it. I've had to pee for a while, so this is the perfect time to use the bathroom. I make my way to the bathroom it took me a moment with these stupid oversized heels. I lot of complaints have been happening about bruising so they are starting to make our shoes fucking huge it seems. I step into the bathroom, cursing at this skirt that won't come off.
I stop for a moment when I hear someone coming inside the restroom as well. Then, I continue to pull this skin-tight ass skirt off my body. I finally pull it off and use the bathroom. After I'm done, I go through hell and back to get the skirt back on. It looks easy, but it's a difficult task. I walk out the bathroom and go to wash my hands and start humming to myself. I almost forgot there was another person in here until. Someone grabbed my shoulder. "Holy, shit," I said as I turned around only to see the familiar black women. I couldn't keep my eyes off off. She smiles at me, I notice her dimples and smiley piercing.
I realize I'm staring when she starts laughing. "Earth to Monika. I've been trying to get your attention for a couple of minutes. I'm pretty sure my face can't be that interesting. " She familiar stranger says while looks at me with her big beautiful eyes. "Oo, I'm sorry it's just you kinda scared me, so it took a moment," i say while laughing along with her. Then I take notice of her language, she is speaking korean. "You're from Jam Republic, right? I didn't know any of you could speak Korean. " I said while waiting for her response, her voice is amazing, by the way. She seems so lively but intriguing. "Yea, I was kinda raised her to be honest, oo, and I'm Ashley, by the way. I don't know. I'd judges have to look at everyone single profile, but I don't expect you to remember names. So I'd thought I save you the trouble." She says, seeming very excited to meet me. So, I respond with enthusiasm. "I'm Monika. Nice to meet you, Ashley", before I could speak further, she cut me off.
"I know who you are, i mean, i feel like i have to. You're our judge, so i had to check out your skills before anyone else. I came to say i hi and possibly get to know you. And i know what you're gonna say. This is a competition, and you can't really speak to me. I understand that, but i know how to separate wpkr from my social life. Plus, you're allowed to have friends, right?" She says while looking at me with a look I can't quite describe. Though I don't know her intentions, she could be using this as a way for a vote. "First of all, you called me what now?" She looks back at me and then at the ceiling. "Monika, or is that not your name, Ms. Shin. " She smirks while waiting for a comeback, though while any other time I could do it, my heart felt stuck.
She is flirting with me. I have to watch out for her. "Of course, I know what my name is, sweetheart, but in Korea, I'm pretty sure you know it doesn't work like that, don't you?" She looks at me smiling before her gaze goes further down my body. "Wow, you're a bold one, aren't you? This is a competition, I don't think it would be best for us to get to know each other right now. And by that look in your eye, I can tell you want to do a lot more then sit in talk. I'm way too old for you sweetie". I tell her, trying to keep a straight face. It's hard, though. It looks like she wants to devour me right here right now. But someone has to be the mature one here.
I stare at her, biting my lips again. It should be a fucking crime to look this good in a skirt. It's like she isn't aware of how amazing she looks right now. "I do want to talk, among other things. If it makes you feel better, we can start off by talking and working our way into more details later on. " I said while watching her reaction. Ive already come to terms with easy I want, she just doesn't know it yet. "Age means nothing. I mean, what's a 15-year age gap when we both know what we want? " She tries to speak before I cut her off again and move closer. "I'm aware of what I want, and you should know I always get what I want. I'll play your little game, though it seems fun. Be ready, sweetie. Seems i found a much better prize now, haven't I unnie?" She just stressed at me shocked.
"Well, see you back on there. Make sure to really keep your eyes on me, you know. It's always good to watch the real important people and who could be more important than me unnie?" I tell her while looking at her with faux innocence. "I can't wait to have fun with you, unnie. Bye-bye.
(I know this is shorter, but it's like 5 a.m., and I just woke up and remembered I fell asleep while writing this last night. So I'm sorry, guys, but I hope you like it)
I'm sorry for the late update. yall, I did finish it, but my dumbass is just now realizing I saved it to my drafts instead of posting it
https://www.tumblr.com/cherienymphe/719442594238808064/so-i-lost-my-anal-virginity-like-2-hours-ago-and
Hi it’s me again he was gentle and everything went fine it hurts but not as much as I made it seem I was being dramatic…but this is different for me so it is really uncomfortable the pain is like 4/10 6/10 if I sit the wrong way:) and he didn’t talk me into it he suggested it and i thought about and said why not.!!
I'm glad he was gentle! It's still possible you could've needed more prep. When it comes to anal I don't think there's a such thing as too much preparation. I think some people sit on frozen vegetables like bags of peas so you could try that? Also an epsom sat bath for sure to really soak and help with the pain
Chapter 4 will be delayed because I just got into a fight with my sister, and she literally clawed my eye, yall. It burnsssss. But anyways, how yall liking the story so far? 😄😆😆
I take it back yall another story got deleted, I'm over this shit I'm not updating.
You can ask me anything, talk to me about anything. I'm trying to write for the black girls because apparently it's so hard to make a character not white these days.
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