Saw A Post About Battling Dysfunction By Pretending To Be An Alien, And I Suddenly Remembered How I Broke

Me: Hey do you wanna see heathers at 7?

Friend: what do you mean it says Suicide par-

Me: exactly so heathers at 7?

Jonestown Kool Aid Massacre (1978)

Repunzal has accidental kiss with sword lesbian as Eugene watches on solemnly- as he can't compete with a sword lesbian.

Someone who’s never watched Tangled: The Series before in their life- try to explain what’s happening in this scene

Loki discribed in one sentence

“You’re going to die for real one of these days and no one is going to believe it because you’ve already faked your death four times.”

You got me all excited thinking shiny yamper was green :<

(I haven’t played swsh yet, getting it on Friday)

I absolutely love Yamper and Pincurchin with all my heart, but their shiny versions are just so- plain looking? idk their colours barely change and it makes me sad. That’s why I’ve made my own fanmade ones!

This is how I expected their shiny versions to look, what do you think? (๑˃ᴗ˂)

Hoesntly same energy as all the people who’ve just been collecting snoms.

can we talk about the guy who went to Alola and brought back 150 digletts.

Traveler is a space orc

Since in the voiceline conversations from the traveler talking to Paimon agknowlages the fact the traveler’s sword can float behind them, I started getting creative with the game mechanics being part of their power. (I’m using Aether for these since I play him in game, but can also be applied to Lumine).

- Aether has the ability to gain other people’s forms and thus their powers. He doesn’t use this ability in front of anyone besides Paimon or Hillichurls because he’s keeping it as a secret ace card in case he’s in a tight spot.

- He sometimes will go out in other people’s forms just to be discreet, but that can cause even more confusion sometimes. Amber swears up and down she saw Klee gliding down into stormterror’s lair while Diluc will never let the fact go that he saw Kaeya messing with the frost slimes around dawn winery. Aether tries his best to sneak around, but at least ten people saw Diona climbing the windmill to get to a chest. Thank god nobody can link it back to him.

- He gains these forms by collecting primo gems, small but ultimately useless trinkets which people trade around for fun. People have started noticing he’s seemingly hoarding them for some reason. Paimon figures out he can be bribed with large amounts of primogems and told Kaeya, who abused this information. What he’s really doing is taking them up to star snatch cliff to wish for new forms and weapons.

- Speaking of weapons, every single one of his forms needs it’s own weapon. Aether tries his best to get the materials himself, but Sucrose has been questioning weather or not he’s planning on becoming a weaponsmith because he has so many powerful weapons yet only uses one. There’s only so many time he can say he need stuff for weapon upgrades before it starts sounding suspicious.

- Has the ability to zone out, anywhere, for hours at a time. He’ll literally just stand in one place, blank stared, for hours upon hours, without response. He did this once in the middle of the knight’s headquarters, and snapped back into place with 3 guards, Kaeya, Amber, and Barbara trying to get him into the medical bay. Considering he wasn’t moving- barely even blinking, they assumed nothing short of a stroke.

- Doesn’t eat or sleep for days on end. Everyone assumes he camps out in the woods but no, Aether doesn’t stop the grind. He’s always fighting bosses, chest hunting, or even just helping a girl successfully communicate with hillichurls. The only reason he stops is so Paimon can sleep, even then he mostly just sorts out which artifacts need to go to which form.

- Clothes that somehow always stay perfect? Nobody’s ever seen him in anything else, dispite him being in teyvat for over a month. Dispite the amount of fighting, there’s no holes, no burns- hell they don’t ever even get soggy.

- Always prefers climbing to stairs. It baffles everyone to no end to see Aether just climbing up the side of a perfectly useable set of stairs. After a few weeks of this, both Jean and Keaya tried to talk to him about it, nope. His response is always “but climbing is faster” and any other reasoning is obsolete. Everyone’s noticed Aether seems to be a bit of a wall crawler, he never goes anywhere without running and always climbs anything even remotely vertical.

- Stories are starting to go around about this golden haired traveler who sticks out in any crowd. Of course people are gonna talk about the guy who not only helped save both Liyue and Mondstat, but is also so nice they’ll help anyone out with anything. If Aether sees so much as a person tripped over a loose floorboard, he’ll help them to the doctor and see to it the floor is fixed by the end of the day.

- Eats Mid-battle. To Aether, food doesn’t serve any other purpose than healing, which food he eats will also give him different statuses. Some make him more durable and harder to break skin, some make him stronger, others give him more stamina. During their fight in the golden house, Childe was so confused to see Aether shove 4 whole jade parcels in his mouth and then it was all over from there.

- Teleportation. Aether doesn’t know how nobody’s noticed the “fancy red statues” turn blue whenever he gets there, but he’s glad. He was a little nervous though, seeing Albedo examining them in an attempt to figure out why all the statues across teyvat were suddenly active, and what they even did. Nobody thinks he can teleport per say, but they do notice he’s nearly everywhere at once. Some people have started joking that he’s a second Noelle.

- Speaking of everywhere at once, (for multiplayer fun) Aether can split himself into 4 forms. And then those 4 forms can each have 3 separate other forms to switch between. It makes bosses very easy, sometimes he’ll have one running errands while the other’s do stuff and help people. Some question how he gets so many rare materials in such short amounts of time, but all of it is chalked up to him being good at fighting. He’s really glad Liyue and Mondstat aren’t in close contact though, because if the people he knew crossrecorded the times they were with him, they’d began to realize he’s sometimes in two places at once.

Writing prompt

The appendix is the magical organ, it’s what allows non human beings to general magical energy. Unfortunately you didn’t know this, so now your sister is screaming at you about ruining her life for getting her emergancy surgery while she was unconscious from a ruptured appendix.

Gentely? I used a bomb :/

Breath Of The Wild: HAHA look at this brain buster of a shrine! You have to use these fans to slowly blow the orb into the switch to activate the way to the monk! But it only goes UP! You have to be on it when the ball goes in! What a conundrum- 

Me: *uses stasis on the ball, gently boops it into the hole, then runs to the platform before it goes in, ignoring the puzzle entirely*

Breath Of The Wild:

It it just me or does posting chapters for revalink fans kinda feel like feeding ducks bread crumbs

When sick

Normal person: (takes cold medicine to stop flow of snot)

Me: (downs chili powder like a shot)