"Having Friends In Your Head Must Be So Fun!!"

Me and her lowkey

Jambound fanart huh,, I couldn't resist fghfgjhgfjh

or gf 😔

Kim Addonizio, from Lucifer at the Starlite: Poems; “You with the crack running through you”

the right person will stay

Meeting someone beautiful and they reveal the beauty in me too

babygirl I'm bothered by noises you wouldn't even hear

YOU’RE A MONSTER, BUT SO AM I

elektra - sophocles, transl. by anne carson / the overture to tannhäuser - paul cézanne / letter to my rage: an evolution - lidia yuknavitch / elektra - sophocles, transl. by anne carson / easier than lying - halsey / incendies - wajdi mouawad / edit by darkrume​ / ‘things you wanted to say but never did’ project - geloy concepcion / enough - suzanne buffam / the witch doesn’t burn in this one - amanda lovelace / höstsonaten (autumn sonata, 1978) - dir. ingmar bergman / wildflower wildfire - lana del rey / softer, softest - hole /  asoftwrongness / crazed - katherine quinn / feuchtgebiete (wetlands, 2013) - dir. david wnendt / on earth we’re briefly gorgeous - ocean vuong

Yknow, my highest weight was 118lb. I was 7th grade.

My lowest was 87lb, with my mother shoving down diet pills because she was too fat and we had to "support her through trying times".

I spent alot of my childhood pushing my body to its limits. I have torn muscles and broken bones without flinching, pushing past the pains. I was "invincible". "Invincible" meant that I wouldn't die. That I would get out of the hellhole my mother called "our home".

Its been almost 4 years since I last lived with my mother. 4 years of watching the scales. 4 years experiencing the passage of time. Surprisingly, it was forgiving. It was soft, gentle, a lovers kiss after a rough day. A father's hug after a heartbreak. A comfort. True comfort.

I've gained weight, I've lost weight, I've gained some of it back. I lost the majority of my muscle, I gained a bit of it, and now it's actively shedding.

And as i sit here, full from the Thanksgiving feast. I've realized one thing.

My body is how it should be. All things get better.

And man my girlfriend makes bombastic banana pudding pie.