Common Spell Items

Divination

Tarot cards: you’re fucked. You’re life is fucked. Your whole family is fucked. Your great grandchildren will feel the consequences of your absolute stupidity.

Me: ummm… rude?

Pendulum: what’s up?

Me: so, is this thing gonna happen?

Pendulum: hell yeah!

Me: are you sure?

Pendulum: No way, my dude ;)

Me: is it gonna happen or not?

Pendulum: idk

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Runes: you will embark on a quest. You must begin packing supplies. Stock up on fur coats and hiking boots. Crackling fires and woodlands await you. You will-

Me: I haven’t even asked a fucking question yet

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Tea cup: you see these leaves?

Me: yep

Tea cup: dont they look like a circle?

Me: absolutely

Tea cup: what if I told you that it was supposed to be a walrus in a pickup truck?

Me: well, how would I even begin to interpret that?

Tea cup: that’s your fucking job, you lazy witch

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Ouija board: youtr dead

Me: thats a typo, you stupid demon

Ouija board: gramar elitist

Me: THERE’S TWO FUCKING M’s IN GRAMMAR

*demon flies out of Ouija board and bitch slaps me*

me, crushing crystals: yes, perfect for charging spells!

also me: f a i r y d u s t ?

sometimes when i read other books/wips/about other’s wips, i start feeling like my characters/plot/wip are flat and uninteresting so this is a reminder to me and everyone that yeah, of course the thing you’re working on won’t seem as fun and sparkly as what other people are doing. that’s because you’re too familiar with it! you know the thing well! so sometimes, it feels boring/flat/not worth it but that doesn’t mean it is

keep on trucking you jupiter dwelling swans

Victorian Witch. 

i really gotta spend more time with my grimoire

we parted briefly. she's a messy one.

Tea Witch Aesthetic ☕

Divination to find Artistic Talent™

Spell Ingredients: ~The Tablet Pen you lost a week ago

~Nearly Sipped Paint Water

~That Shirt you wore to a Color Run

~The Baby Powder Scented Crayon

~The lost cap from your Crayola fruity scented markers

~The Pencil Box from when you were in Elementary School

~A Piece of Chalk

Ritual Steps:

~On the night of the Next Full Moon, put all ingredients EXCEPT YOUR COLOR RUN TEESHIRT AND CHALK into Pencil Box.

~Throw Pencil Box at the wall  while Chanting the Following: “TWINKLE TWINKLE LITTLE STAR WHY IS ART SO FUCKING HARD”

~Open the box and dump contents onto the Color Run Teeshirt on the floor

~Read the jumbled mess as Runes

~Eat the Chalk as a snack if you get hungry