Tlw对不起喽 灯火阑珊看完我决定必须要二刷

之前就觉得锡兰因为自身的男性身份而对女性无法完全共情，这次可算是看出来他的男性身份和喜剧人身份是如何塑造他的视角和观点

remember evil scientists, make sure all your machines have big levers, button, switches and lights to make operating them as cool and satisfying as possible

感想是太有文化的人才做得到在较为自由的时候扮国民党立场也能辩赢，被批的时候写两三万字检讨

频频流产还生了三个孩子……

战争开始前网上有俄罗斯人讨拍，英文评论一片拥抱，那时我说我不清楚俄罗斯人，但我能确信的是“人民都反战”至少不适用于我的故土。当时我心里想到的还是小岛，从没预料到开战后真的立刻示范给我看。

想起了《旁观他人之痛》，竟然已是2020 的歌。我那时听完崩溃，不敢点收藏，或许是潜意识想忘掉这首歌吧。我的愧疚感和被原谅都是凿壁偷光。现在听还是崩溃。19之后我偷偷地渐渐地光明正大地顺理成章地把我的无力和惭愧踢到一边埋了起来。今天看了半部Olga，却总是想起香港，为什么啊为什么啊为什么香港看不到任何希望。片尾有2020年美丽的基辅。

还是要夸一夸作词人欲龙，喜欢研究林夕，也真有林夕之风（这首不是最明显）。

这怎么还越来越冷了

ahhhhhhhhh

they wish us to fight it out to the death BECOMING ELIZABETH - coming June 2022

前几天在汤看到一个贴说lmk的fandom如何如何因为不了解原著而扭曲了其中深深根植的中国思想、价值观，我真是想翻白眼，西游记原著本身就是个大杂烩东拼西凑出来的，玄奘和（可能源自印度）神话人物的同人。要说扭曲原意，中国政府就用它为意识形态服务过很多次，商业影视剧、网文作者、职场导师也已经解构过无数次了，哪有什么有确定共识的中国人眼中的西游记呢？反正我是乐于看到一切改编。

不过昨晚又在这儿看到有人anti孙唐cp，理由是这关系太toxic，我倒是明白了有的东西确实是中国人更容易懂，孙唐原著就这样，你再怎么觉得悟空被师父辜负也改变不了原著里面他对师父真心实意，不是东亚人理解不了那你出门左转吧。

Today when I looked at the direction of Tower Wharf there was a rainbow over the bridge. I also visited the scaffold site.

this is another scene that absolutely lights my brain on fire -

There's a lot going on here and imo the way Felix reacts to Annabel talking shit about Oliver is SO telling from a characterization standpoint. Like Annabel is essentially telling him "no one likes your boy bestie and the girls think he's weird." It's so interesting because Felix doesn't necessarily *defend* Oliver here, he doesn't enlighten her to his tragic backstory, doesn't tell her "actually he's really inspirational because you don't know what he's gone through to be here." He instead just gently chastises her for being harsh and snobby and then....the next scene is literally Felix fucking her while Oliver watches. THIS IS INSANE LOL. So much to unpack.

First of all, it's definitely worth mentioning that Felix DOES hype Oliver up to the people who truly matter to him (his parents, his sister, etc). Like Elspeth is fully aware of Oliver's tragic and triumphant backstory before Oliver even arrives. She's also been told that Oliver is intelligent and handsome ("I told you he wasn't a minger" said looking so pleased with himself for bringing a handsome boy home LOL). Venetia has also clearly heard all about how much Felix likes Oliver ("oh I see why Felix likes you so much.") These statements put what happens here with Annabel in a very unique context. It's almost like...Felix doesn't want to share these amazing things about Oliver with his peer group at school. We talk all the time about Oliver gatekeeping Felix but not enough about how Felix is kinda gatekeeping Oliver, especially from the girls at Oxford. Felix doesn't want irrelevant people at Oxford knowing how amazing Oliver is because Felix wants Oliver and his inspirational achievements all to himself. Hm it's almost like Felix and Oliver BOTH struggle with boundaries bc they're both terminally obsessed with each other lol.

What happens after this scene is enough to make me clinically insane LOL. The cutaway is literally Oliver bricked up about to cum untouched while crying and watching as Felix fucks the girl who was just talking shit about him!! The rituals are SO intricate here hahah. In my mind - it's almost like Felix is getting off to the fact that this girl doesn't know about his little secrets with Oliver. She's only allowed to see the most surface levels of him and Felix is literally turned on by the fact that other people don't have access to Oliver the way he does. He'll leave the blinds open while he fucks her in plain sight BUT he won't share even the most basic details about his close relationship with Oliver. He keeps Oliver all for himself but lets the world see him fucking Annabel. It's an insane metaphor honestly and so telling as to what is sacred vs. what's meaningless to Felix. Felix doesn't want to share Oliver just as much as Oliver doesn't want to share Felix. Two sides of the same coin imo, just expressed differently!