I Would Follow You Into Mordor

I Would Follow You Into Mordor

pairing: eddie munson x fem!reader

word count: 1.3k

summary: when eddie starts to doubt himself, you're there to remind him how loved he is.

“Do you ever regret saying yes to me?”

Your head snaps down to look at your lover of almost one year. “What?”

You knew Eddie had his insecurities and his doubts, but it was almost never brought up out of the blue like this.  “Do you ever regret saying yes to being my girlfriend?” Eddie repeats with a tight voice.

You knew something was up when he came home from school, sat down at his desk without so much as a look in your direction, and began working on his next D&D campaign.

“Eds, where is this coming from?” You attempt to lift his head with your hand but he burrows further into your neck with a noise of protest. You let out a small sigh before saying, “Eddie, I will never regret you. Ever.”

His jaw clenches and his grip around you tightens. You know he’s about to cry, so you hold him as tight as you possibly can. What brought this on? You have a feeling Jason and one of his dickhead friends had something to do with it, but you decide to let him tell you in his own time.

Eddie hates being vulnerable with others, he’d rather deal with his emotions on his own, not wanting to burden others. Now that he has you, though, he can’t seem to want to deal with it alone. He knows he can show you the darkest and most scarred parts of him and you would love him all the same. That doesn’t stop the doubts and insecurities from fogging his knowledge of that, though. 

“I love you,” he says in a voice so low you wouldn’t have been able to hear it if he wasn’t so close. You can feel your heart breaking inside of your chest, not knowing if the crack in his voice was from the low tone he was using or the tears threatening to spill in the juncture of your neck. 

“I love you too, Eds.”

You run your fingers through his curls as his breathing begins to pick up and stutter, hoping in vain to calm him down a bit. You hold him close as he cries, your own eyes welling up, but blinking them away almost immediately. You needed to be strong, to be able to comfort him the way he needed.

“Why?” He chokes out through his tears.

“Why what?” 

“Why do you love me?”

The question pauses your hands and your breathing, knowing you had to answer thoroughly. You’re not very good at telling him how you feel verbally, opting for doing things for him or writing him letters instead. 

Before you can answer though, he’s speaking again, this time with a quivering voice full of self-depreciation, “I don’t have anything to offer you,” he lets out a sharp breath. “I can’t give you the life you deserve. I can’t take you to fancy restaurants or buy you fancy clothes. I’m a good for nothing-"

“Stop,” you interrupt with a soft but firm voice. “Don’t talk about yourself like that,” he scoffs and pulls to move away but you keep him held to your chest. “Eddie, you really don’t know do you?”

This time you allow him to pull away. He glances down at you with his glassy red eyes that are full of sadness. “Know what?”

“How much I love you,” you softly smile and move so both of you are sitting facing each other on his bed. You move the bangs away from his face and cup his cheek. He opens his mouth to speak but you shake your head, letting him know you weren’t done. He closes his mouth, stares at you, and waits. He wants to hear what you’re gonna say, he needs to.

“You have shown me a love I thought only existed in movies. One I’ve dreamed of having since I was a little girl. I never thought I was going to find someone to love me the way I wanted to be, until I found you. You make me feel a way I’ve never felt before and I never want to feel another way again. You are the best thing in my life, Eddie. I wouldn’t trade you for anything. Not even Rob Lowe,” he laughs at that and feels his heart warming. He knows how you feel about Rob Lowe.

“Yeah,” you continue. “Not even Rob could make me take my eyes off of you,” —you kiss his forehead and wipe newly fallen tears from his cheeks— “I don’t want to live my life with anyone else. You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I wish you could see how amazing you are. You deserve everything good in this world. I will continue to do my damndest to prove to you how worthy of every ounce of my love you are. You deserve love and happiness more than anyone I know, Eds.“

As soon as you finish, he’s launching himself at you, and crying for a different reason. You let your own tears fall this time, and they cascade down into his pretty brunette curls. “Thank you,” he cries while giving the space between your collarbones a kiss. 

You don’t reply, instead lifting his head to kiss him on the lips. It’s full of all the love, passion, and adoration you both feel for each other; it’s almost enough to cause a new wave of tears to come to your eyes. “Eddie,” you whisper.

“Hm?” he says after pulling away to put his face into your neck, kissing the skin there.

“Want me to prove my love to you even more?” He sighs out a desperate yes before clutching to you tighter and bringing you into his lap. You softly push him away from your neck to kiss him, slowly trailing up to his ear. 

The little noises he is letting out sends fire to your lower abdomen, he has no idea what he does to you even while doing nothing. As you reach just below his ear with your lips, he lets out a real moan as he grabs your waist with a vice-like grip that has you almost letting out a moan of your own.

You push it down, however, to whisper in his red-tipped ear, “I would follow you into Mordor.”

His grip on your wait loosens as he leans back to look at you. The smile on his face is so soft that you can feel your insides melting. “My sweet girl,” he exhales a laugh, pushing a strand of hair behind your ear. “Now that convinced me you actually do love me.”

You let out a dramatic gasp and playfully swat at his chest. “And my whole speech where I poured my heart out didn’t convince you of that, Edward?”

He grasps at the place where you hit, letting out a groan of faux pain before flopping onto his back in the bed. “Your speech was beautiful, but I take Tolkien more to heart, baby.” 

He laughs as you try to get off of his lap, grabbing you and pulling you down to his chest. You scowl at him, before a smile ultimately breaks out across your face. “You’re a nerd, you know that?”

“You’re the one who brought up Lord of the Rings first!” He exclaims leaning forward to blow a wet raspberry on your cheek. You squeal and try to move your face away, but he grips your jaw with both hands, locking you in place.

He continues the raspberry assault on your entire face before finally pulling back to admire his work. Your face is shiny with a small pout adorning your mouth. It makes him want to kiss you, so he does (no raspberry this time, thank god) while giggling. Eddie looks at you, admiring every inch of your face. He’s never loved anyone this way before, fully reciprocating every word you said to him just a few minutes prior. You are his forever. He will want you in every life, no matter what. Nobody will ever and could never compare to you.

How did he get so lucky?

He stares into your eyes, a serious look on his face, but with a smile playing on his lips and he says, “I too would follow you into Mordor.”