Sometimes I Just Feel Hopeless About All Of The Trauma I Carry. I Have Ongoing Issues With Inflammatory

Sometimes I just feel hopeless about all of the trauma I carry. I have ongoing issues with inflammatory injuries and I know that’s linked to long-term stress, as are a bunch of other diseases. And so many of my responses to things and how I see the world are colored by the way I experienced life as a kid and it just makes me feel like I’m never going to be normal. I crave but am terrified of intimacy of any kind, and this was only worsened by emotional trauma as a teen and young adult. I just feel constantly detached, like I’m not quite a part of things, and like what even is the point if I’m never going to experience life normally anyway? Like I know no one has a “normal” experience but come on. It seems like I’m never going to be able to enjoy things the way it seems everyone else does, like I’m just going to constantly feel like the walking wounded, never quite able to open up or keep up. Idek this isn’t even making any sense. I’m just feeling pretty mournful over everything today.

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Take all the time you need, we give you our full support! If you need to rant about anything there are always people available, and if you dont have an open ear to talk to my dms are always open! Try to not beat yourself up too much for taling a break, those who dont have the patience are inconsiderate and shouldn't have the right to read your work anyway, stay safe and remember we're all here for you :)

Thank you so so much for this💕 to know that there are supportive people like you and everyone else is really reassuring. It’s amazing to have such support and it’s made me feel so wonderful and warm☺️❤️❤️

Take All The Time You Need, We Give You Our Full Support! If You Need To Rant About Anything There Are
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//end

On my studies this week my mentor said I should never write negative things, or things that might bring bad emotions or thoughts to people. Therefore, I deleted a bunch of my posts. Happens that I can be very negative when I am sad or tired. I guess it is human to have negative emotions from time to time, specially when the circumstances you are at, are no the best as possible. Thinking on that and putting that together with many other small conversations I had with people during this time, I decided to change, to go after things I should’ve gone way before and to try to be better at the same time as a person, but not only better to other people, but to myself. I need to be kinder to myself, more comprehensive with my emotions and limits. And I honestly think everybody else should too.


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denkeschon - /shittypoem
/shittypoem

work in progress /some art /venting out /writer at random opp / “My soul is the mirror of the universe, and my body is its frame.”-Voltaire;  

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