Depressionanddeconstruction - Unlearning And Relearning

Your opinions on polygamy?

Hmm..I have to say that I am not so much a fan of polygamy. 

By way of explanation, I would have to say that it’s because I’m a big believer in the idea of “One Love”. That is to say, I’m not going to have sex until I’m married, and ideally, I plan to be married “until death do us part”. So I personally am not open to the idea of divorce except in the case of abuse or infidelity or some other such extreme circumstances. “Irreconcilable differences”, to me, is not an option. So that being said, my vision for my life is being in love with, being married to, and having sex with, only one person. I want to be so close to someone that I know them inside and out. I want to know all their strengths and all their weaknesses and love them for both equally, because that’s what makes them who they are. I want to be totally open and vulnerable about myself with someone and have them accept me for who I am. I want to have the irrefutable confidence that I want to spend every day until the end of my days with this person. I want to whether the storms of life with this person. I want to fight like crazy with this person. I want a life-partner. Like me and him against the world, you know? And to me, such an intimate experience with only one person makes it all the more valuable and precious. Especially with the sex thing, especially for me. 

But that’s just the romantic in me. Let’s talk about what the bible has to say on the topic of polygamy. 

In the bible, there are many examples of man who had more than one wife. Sure, King Soloman had 700 wives and 300 concubines on top of that! (1 Kings 11:2-3) [Sidenote: what the heck are you gonna do with that many women? I mean even if you slept with a different woman every day, it would take you more almost three years to get through them all! I bet he didn’t know most of their names.] That being said, most theological scholars seem to think that the polygamy was a cultural thing and only tolerated, if not condoned by God.

In Genesis, after God takes one of Adam’s ribs to make Eve, it says “This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” (Genesis 2:24) That seems pretty clear. It even says that two become one, so that seems to support the monogamy argument. 

Later on in the New Testament, Paul (who was a pretty funny guy) is talking about how he’s a bachelor because it allows him to focus more on his evangelical mission, but that it’s better to get married than to “burn in lust”. Because, for some reason, the members of the early church in Corinth seemed to think that sex is bad. This is completely false! Sex was created by God and it is a beautiful thing. So Paul is basically saying that sex is not a bad thing, but you shouldn’t really be sleeping around, because that’s not the way God intended it. Paul’s point is that trying to avoid sex completely is almost impossible, painful, frustrating for everyone involved, and a really good way to disappoint yourself. So marriage is the ideal situation here. Paul says, “But because of the temptation of sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.” (1 Corinthians 7:2) [Sidenote: The verse after that talks about how husband and wife should fulfill each other’s sexual needs. Well-known pastor and author Rick Warren tweeted that verse, which I think has got to be the most awkward scripture tweet ever. Its awkwardness is surpassed only by Christian comedian Tim Hawkins who mistakenly told someone that his favourite verse is Psalm 38:7, which says “I have a painful disease in my loins”.] 

So anyway, it would seem that the bible supports the idea of monogamy. I personally think that the way God designed sex was for one man and one woman within the bonds of God-consecrated, holy matrimony. (This is a discussion on polygamy. I’ve already talked about homosexuality at length here, here and here.) Therefore, my seemingly romantic “One Love” idea is actually firmly grounded in my religious beliefs. 

In conclusion: Polygamy is not a lifestyle that I would choose, based on my beliefs and personal moral code, but like anything else, I will not condemn another person for choosing that lifestyle. These are the choices I’ve made for my life and will not be arrogant enough to try to extend them into yours. 

Thanks for the question :) Love chatting with you guys! Peace and love! -Katherine 

Who, me?

I would just like to throw it out there that if God can use me, God can use ANYONE. My friend once said something to me to the effect of “I wish I could be like you. You’re so amazing and spiritual and wise.” HA! We were texting, so to that I replied “L.O. - freaking - L.” And I told her exactly what I’m about to tell you…in less than 140 characters. You get the extended version.

My friend looks up to me, but she doesn’t see the insecurity, the fear, the lack of discipline, the pride, and all the GUNK that messes up the inside of my heart. She reminded me of an instance where I was giving her advice and she said that I said the exact right thing. I remember that particular moment very well. It was the moment where I was sitting there praying silently, “God, I have no idea what I’m doing, I’m way out of my league here, I really need your help! Give me the right words to say!” And He DID!

Not because I was worthy, but because I was willing.

See, we don’t have to have it all together before God can use us. We don’t have to be mature and confident and eloquent and spiritual and have great faith and know everything to be used by God. In fact, if we were able to minister to people on our own, what would the point even be? If we could witness to people all on our own power, what would we be witnessing about? There’s a verse in the bible that says “I will boast in my weakness because in my weakness, God’s strength is revealed.” Paul wrote it. And that’s the whole point. We can’t do this on our own and that’s the beautiful part where God’s holiness fills in all the gaps in us. In Him, we are whole.

So it’s not up to us to “convince” anybody of anything. Truth is truth, and we are called just to give it all to God and let Him flow through us. We need merely be the mouthpiece, and He will do all the work on their hearts, through His Holy Spirit. Doesn’t that take the pressure off? One pastor once said “I couldn’t save a blade of grass.” And it’s true, we can’t save anybody, God does that.

So my whole point is that no matter who you are and how bad you think you are, God CAN and WILL use you, if you’re willing.

A great resource I drew upon as part of my inspiration for this post was the message of pastor Brad Noel at a youth conference in 2010. He called his message “Lessons in FAITH from Doubters, Wimps, Jellyfish, Murderers and Whiners.” Here are some examples of Bible “Heroes” he gave who did great things for God, and definitely didn’t have it all together! Gideon was afraid and insecure. Elijah didn’t think he was spiritual enough. Peter denied Jesus in a moment of panic. King David was an adulterer and a murderer. John the Baptist felt that he couldn’t hear God’s call anymore.

As most of us probably know, these guys are prominent heroes and role models of the Bible. Gideon was always portrayed to me as a great warrior and leader. Elijah performed more miracles than any other prophet in the Old Testament. Peter founded the first early church with his oration skills. David was called “a man after God’s own heart”. John the Baptist seems like the ultimate example of selflessness and humility in his fervent witnessing. And yet, these guys weren’t superheroes! They were normal people, like you and me.

Finally, I can testify that if you ask God to give you the right words, whether you realise it or not, He will. You would be surprised how He uses the randomest stuff you say. Or do. I weep at the realisation that my words have actually made an impact on people. Because I know that it’s all God using me. And it’s so humbling. I can’t believe that God would use me, as messed up and undeserving as I am. I mean, I can’t even handle my own mortal life, let alone my own eternal life, and DEFINITELY not someone else’s eternal life! I need Jesus, and astoundingly, He doesn’t need me, but He wants me! And He actually sees me as something lovely, and something useful! I am so honoured that I am usable to God.

And like I said, if God will use me, He will definitely use you. The world sees your physical qualifications, but His eyes roam the earth, searching for a devoted heart. Faith the size of a mustard seed can move mountains. Have enough faith to stop trying on your own and give it all the God, and watch the mountains move as the Holy Spirit flows through you.

I’ve always had trouble with this idea of “hearing from God.” I always side-eye those super A+ put-together Christians who were hearing from God every week, and somehow I was outside the door of some secret club where God was throwing around fortune cookies full of His life-changing secrets.Let’s consider that God does speak to us every week. Let’s consider photosynthesis, the spinning of atoms, the burning of stars, the breath we just breathed, your child’s messy drawing, the twitching of your neurons to fire off emotions, a hug from your best friend. Let’s consider the sustaining of our molecules, which is purely by His grace. Let’s see all we are missing when our eyes are locked on a screen when the world is unrolling around us, as God makes His glory known through nature and coincidence. Let’s consider Christ, who is God’s spoken word and His very own glorious radiance (Hebrews 1:2-3). Let’s consider that God is already within the silence, and that even when we do not “feel” Him, God is okay with this too.

J.S. from this post (via yesdarlingido)

Katherine Brown - Fill a Stable - Fill a Stable

Hi friends! This is me SHAMELESSLY promoting my latest fundraising venture! I'm participating in World Vision's "Fill a Stable" event with my university society. It would mean the world to me if you would donate and help us reach our goal of $1200.00.  Thank you in advance :) With love,  -Katherine

How do you feel about Westboro Baptist Church and the things they do?

ASJDFGHJKLKJHGFDSTYDERTGVBHYGTF THEY MAKE ME SO ANGRY.LEVITICUS IS NOT THE ONLY BOOK IN THE BIBLE! READ THE NEW TESTAMENT!  

THE GOD YOU CLAIM TO FOLLOW IS NOT A GOD OF HATE! HE IS A GOD OF LOVE! HE LOVES EVERYONE AND HATES NO ONE! Ugh. I must admit, they drive me to violent urges. They infuriate me beyond words because they preach literally the antithesis of EVERYTHING my God is and yet they say that they follow the same God as I do. How is that even possible? How can someone spew hate and vitriol and say that it’s of God? Rest assured, it is not of God. God is love. Overwhelming, unconditional, infinite, scandalous, inclusive, all-consuming, all-effacing, sanctifying, redeeming, love. LOVE is literally the closes thing to the character of God that we have here on earth. Therefore, I ask you, how can someone be so absolutely full of hatred and be in line with God’s will? They cannot. Having said that, it is my personal belief that though they claim to be Christians, they are not Christians. Allow me to share with you one of my favourite quotes: 

Not because he and I are one, but because we are opposites, I take to me the services which thou hast done to him. For I and he are of such different kinds that no service which is vile can be done to me, and none which is not vile can be done to him. Therefore if any man swear by Tash and keep his oath for the oath’s sake, it is by me that he had truly sworn, though he know it not, and it is I who reward him. And if any man do a cruelty in my name, then, though he says the name Aslan, it is Tash whom he serves and by Tash his deed is accepted. 

That’s a quote from The Last Battle by C.S. Lewis. Aslan represents God and Tash represents the devil. I think this quote is extremely applicable to our current discussion, and the cruelty committed by the Westboro Baptist Church, though done in God’s name, is not done in the service of God, but in the service of the devil. That goes for all the evil deeds of misguided, blinded churches in the past, including the Spanish inquisition, the Holocaust, etc. It saddens me greatly that the one philosophy which should be completely pure of hatred and dissension - Christianity - is so incredibly corrupted and perverted in so many of its divisions. I maintain that people who truly know and love God are people of love, grace and acceptance, not of hatred and violence. How such abominations of the faith occurred is due entirely to prideful people who filter the word of God through their own (WRONG) worldview. And the saddest part of all this is that God loves the people of the Westboro Baptist Church. He loves them desperately, and He wants them to fully realize and understand the power of His transforming love for them, and for everyone, because when you know, truly know the love of God, you are never the same again. And if they actually knew God, they would not behave the way they do. My hope is that someday they will know the God they claim to serve, and that their acquaintance with Him will change everything. Sooo…there you go. Peace and love! -Katherine 

If words were wounds

and you could see flesh tearing —

would we still speak the same way

or find new ways to destroy ..?

If words were healing

and you could see wounds sealing —

would we still speak the same way

or withhold words to destroy ..?

But this is what it is, every day.

Words rip, words mend —

deeper than flesh, more than metal.

Flesh is fragile,

but a soul, eternal. 

Will we still speak the same way?

  —J.S.

KB’s ruthless advice for grownups

whatever happened to you is not your fault, but how you handle it is your responsibility. 

if you don’t deal with your shit, no one will. 

other people do not exist for your consumption. 

happiness, self-worth, and love do not come from other people. make your own happiness, decide your own self worth, love yourself. no one else is gonna do that for you. 

you are in control of your life. be purposeful. 

feelings are valid, but they often lie, and they always fade. learn not to be at their mercy. 

your choices are what make you who you are. choose wisely. 

RANT Warning: indelicate language and imagery. Okay, so apparently as much as 54% of men and 42% of women are STUPID. I'm sorry but I'm not gonna be all politically correct about this. Anyone who answered yes to any of those questions is STUPID. STUPID AND WRONG.  For anyone out there who's a little bit confused....

RAPE IS NEVER OKAY. 

No matter what. No matter who long you've been dating, no matter how much money he spent, no matter what her level of sobriety, no matter what he's seen of her or done with her, no matter what mixed signals he's gotten, NO MATTER WHAT. It's not okay to force sex on a woman who does not want it.  And let's just stop and examine two of the conditions up there:  a) He is so turned on he thinks he can't stop. b) She gets him excited sexually. 

Ohmygoodness. MAN UP. Newsflash: Guys get turned on all the time. It's not exactly a novel thing. Guys can get turned on for no apparent reason. 

As a guy, are you seriously gonna try and tell me that you couldn't help it?  (This is where it gets graphic) ...That your dick was hard so you just HAD to ram it inside of her? That's bullshit! (I get vulgar when I get angry).  Oh, you were horny. Oh you poor baby. My heart bleeds for you, it really does.  MAN UP.

You're not an animal. You're not a robot. You don't HAVE to do everything your body wants you to. As a human, you SHOULD have morals. And you are able to reason and make choices. If you know that rape is ALWAYS WRONG (which it is) then you CAN walk away. You are not so weak that you are helpless against the primitive desires of your flesh.  So when I hear someone say something like "he's so turned on he thinks he can't stop" or "she gets him excited sexually", you know what I think? I think that "he" is a cowardly, lazy, spineless, weak, pathetic BOY. Because any man who cannot master his body and decide to respect women despite his physical urges is no man at all. 

Do you think there are any situations in which abortions are an acceptable option?

So someone asked a veerrryy similar question to this one, so I sort of answered it already, but I’ll talk a leeetle bit more. To be brief: For me, personally, um…no. Haha I know that’s super blunt and you might wonder how I can answer so definitively. I can answer confidently, unequivocally “no” because my personal view of the subject is that abortion is murder, and I don’t murder. Ergo, I would not be able to kill the child inside of me (hypothetically). People think different things and make different decisions based on what they think. Someone might read this and say “Katherine, you’re WRONG.” Okay, well, if you think something other than what I think, obviously you’re gonna make different decisions than me, right? :P SO, because of that, I am literally incapable of  telling any other person on the planet what is acceptable for them. I know what is acceptable for me, based on my opinions and beliefs, but I don’t know everyone else’s opinions and beliefs. And I know that there are soooo many complicated, complex situations that could possibly arise out there in this big messed up world. But I do know, that for me, abortion is never an option. I personally believe that in an situation, God is able to help me out if I don’t know what to do (Because if you believe that God exists, you have to believe that He is big enough to handle your problems, and to do the impossible). So…yeah. There you go, my very black and white beliefs, haha :PPeace and love! -Katherine 

I find it really interesting that you only need to know three things about me in order to know absolutely everything about me. If I were to tell you that I have the spiritual gift of mercy, that my personality is ENFP, and that I exhibit maladaptive perfectionism, you would have all the information you’d ever need to predict exactly how I will behave in literally any given situation. You’d be able to learn my moral code of ethics, my motivation, my strengths and weaknesses, my decision-making process, my bad habits, my unhealthy behaviours, and my coping mechanisms. Which means that you’d already know me far better than I ever want anyone to know me. What’s truly funny about all of this is that all those things are Nature, not Nurture. I was hardwired that way. That’s just who I am as a person. And I am physically incapable of behaving in a way that is contrary to my nature. I’m basically programmed that way. I’m essentially a robot obeying commands. I’m so easily summarized by a few choice labels. I’m nothing more than the combination of a select few traits. And I’m thoroughly predictable.