Latest Posts by depressionanddeconstruction - Page 7

The Law and The One Who Made The Law

On Sunday, I was helping out with the kiddies program in the morning church service. I LOVE being with the kids, but this morning I felt that there was something wrong. The lesson was about sin, and I think that the message the kids were supposed to take home was "Don't Sin." We told them stories about people who did drugs and stole stuff and ran away from homes and discussed the various mistakes these people made, and defined sin and then told them that the people in the stories met Jesus and cleaned up their lives and went on to do a whole bunch of really great things for God. 

I'm sure it sounds like a very positive message at first glance, but something really unsettled me about it: 

It's all well and good to tell the kids to obey their parents and tell the truth and share and don't do drugs and stay in school. However, why are we so focused on all these rules for how we should behave and not on The One who made the rules? 

Cause see, the gospel is not a behaviour-control program. The church does not exist to make sure that everyone is following the rules. And Jesus didn't die so that we would have to be perfect. 

What I'm trying to say is that instead of telling these kids what they can and cannot do, we should introduce them to Jesus, and tell them about his amazy-crazy, upside-down inside-out, spin-you-all-around LOVE. I think that we should tell them that Jesus knows them better than anyone else in the world and that He loves them more than anyone else in the world does. I think we should tell them that they are His precious treasure, His beloved son/daughter, the apple of His eye. I think we should tell them that He has an awesome plan for their life and that He's gonna do great things in them and through them. Finally, I think we should tell them that He loves them so much that He died for them, so that their sins would be repaid and they could go to heaven. Don't you think that such a message would be far more effective than "Don't do this. Don't do that." I feel like if they knew the one who made them and loves them, they would be naturally less inclined to seek fulfillment in thrills, drugs, alcohol and sex ANYWAY, and we wouldn't have to try and hammer it into their skulls so much. 

Don't get me wrong, we do tell the kids all the stuff I said up there. We tell it to them all the time. My church is not remiss in informing the children of their infinite value to their creator. I just think that if Sunday morning's service was the only one a child had ever been to, they would think that church was just a list of Do's and Don'ts. So I believe that instead of just talking about sin, we need to prevent a more holistic view of the relationship between God and humans. I think we need to present the gospel to these kids in BIG BOLD ITALIC CAPS every single time we see them, because knowing the love of Christ is infinitely more important than knowing the rules. 

That's all.  Peace and love!  -Katherine

are you allowed to wear clothes above the knee?

Yes, I suppose I am "allowed" haha :P the are no rules for what I should or should not wear. It's basically a judgment call for everything I wear. I have personal preferences: I don't like to show off my boobs, belly or butt so my clothes cover those essentials. My shorts usually come about halfway down my thighs and my tank tops have straps that are like two finger-widths thick, for example :P Yeah, that's all!Peace and love! -Katherine

I really enjoy your blog, katherine :) you're answers are so interesting and clarify so many things. God bless, xox.

Thank you so very much my darling! You are the absolute sweetest :) I'm very glad you've been enjoying my answers :) hopefully there will be many more to follow :)Lots of love! -Katherine

Video Rant #2: Feminism is In A Relationship with Modesty and It's Complicated.  *The little ding you hear in the background is my phone, sorry guys! haha :P 

Okay, so say you've met someone and you guys fell in love. You want to wait till marriage for sex. He isn't a virgin but is willing to wait. Would you still be with him? Why? Or why not?

When talking about that issue on its own, yeah I would still be with him. There are many factors affecting any relationship, but for me, one’s sexual history is not one of them. 

The main thing I look for in a potential husband is a deep and abiding love of Christ. I want someone who will always put God before me; someone who listens to the voice of the Holy Spirit before mine. Someone who knows how to love himself and love me because he understand how God loves us. So I will marry a devout and practising Christian. Probably a charismatic Christian because someone who’s not charismatic might get a teensy bit freaked out by the whole “speaking-in-tongues” thing. 

What happened before they met Jesus really doesn’t matter to me. Whether my future husband was raised in the church and maybe he wasn’t. Maybe he’s known Jesus for years or maybe right now he still hasn’t met Him. Maybe he did drugs and was involved in gangs and committed all sorts of crimes and slept with hundreds of women. Maybe he struggled with depression and low self-worth and faced cutting and suicidal thoughts and all sorts of awful stuff. 

I dunno. But I do know that when you meet Jesus, it’s now just that your life is changed…it’s literally like dying and being reborn as a new person. In church we call it being “born again”. Because God will take your old life and your old identity and give you a brand new one. He will open your eyes and your mind to His vast, unconditional love. Love that is stronger than life and death. Love that stole the keys to the gates of Hell so that you and God could be together for eternity. Love that is stronger than anything that’s happened to you in the past. Stronger than anything you’ve done. Stronger than habits you want to break. Stronger than your own self-deprecating thoughts. 

And God, being divinely and supremely perfect, is the only person in the entire existence of everything who could possibly judge you for your past mistakes. And He doesn’t. He tosses your past transgressions into a sea of forgetfulness and it might as well be as if they never even happened. So who am I to hold them against you? 

If this potential husband were a born again, orthodox, hardcore, practising Christian who is on fire for God and respects me and is willing to wait for marriage, the fact that He’s not a virgin means less than the number of freckles on his elbow. Thanks for the question! Peace and love! -Katherine 

I'm super Impressed by the way you handle these questions! Personally while I love church and have been going since I was very little, I'm not overly religious. But I just love the way you handle questions that are like borderline, and right on the line of offensive to your beliefs. I also really like how while you answer them, you aren't forcing your own beliefs like I've have watched others do. I have always had a huge amount of respect for you, but it has grown since discovering your blog!!

Ahhhh Emily you're gonna make me cry! Thank you so much for taking the time to stop by and write that; it means so much to me. I'm really really glad that you told me that because my hope is to present an image of Christianity that is not judgmental or intolerant but rather real and accepting and loving. Your words are very encouraging, and hold great weight because you're an incredible person. You're loving and accepting and you know what you believe, which I respect so much. And your blog is beautiful :) I love seeing it on my dash every day. Lots of love, -Katherine 

Don't you think that a physical relationship and sexual chemistry are a big part of a relationship too? I understand the principle of celibacy but I feel as if the physical connection is also very important in a serious relationship and it's something worth exploring before marriage.

YES. ABSOLUTELY, the physical aspect of a relationship is suuuuuuper duper important! You can’t have a healthy, functioning relationship without it. However, I don’t think that you need to have sex before marriage to figure that out. For me, I can tell if I find someone attractive the first time I look at them; I can tell if we have good chemistry the first time we flirt; and I can tell if I want to have sex with them the first time we kiss. Sooo I think that the physical chemistry and sexual tension is evident very early on in the relationship, and you don’t have to have sex to figure that out.

Also, in my ideal world, both I and my husband will be virgins on our wedding day, so we’ll sort of..embark on a journey together wherein we learn and try new stuff and experiment together. Kind of like…a blank slate. So we go in to he marriage open-minded and with an empty canvas and it ends up being a masterpiece. I think our marriage will be stronger because of that.

That’s just me :P Peace and love! -Katherine

WHy do you go to a non-demoninational public university. Why dont you go to a Private Christian school? Like Liberty university or something?

I'm still seriously wondering how you know where I do or do not go to school. :S Anyway, it's just kind of that I never even considered Liberty U, or similar schools, as options. Cause I wanna be a doctor. Also, I live in Newfoundland, Canada. And people who love on Newfoundland who want to go to bible college go to one of two universities: Tyndale, in Ontario, or Vanguard, in Alberta. Since I don't want to be a pastor, I don't really see the point in going to either one of those schools, or any school at all other than Memorial University. It's the only university in Newfoundland and it's suuuuuper cheap, and I can live at home and all that good stuff, and it's a relatively good quality school where I can get a science degree before I go to med school. Sooooo....yeah, it was just a really easy decision to make. Almost not even a decision at all. That's all :)Peace and love!-Katherine

How do you feel about living with someone before you're married?

Well…I think it’s really..dangerous. Like, I’ve decided that I’m not gonna have sex before marriage. And living ALONE, TOGETHER, with someone makes it reeeeeeeally easy to have sex with them. Basically, if I were living with my boyfriend, I’m pretty sure we’d have sex. I know my limitations, and I definitely don’t trust myself that much. So I wouldn’t do it. :P I’m staying faaaaarrrr away from that line.

Thank for the question! Peace and love! -Katherine

Is masturbation a sin?

Oi. Okay, um…I won’t say that this is a “complicated” question, per se, but I will say that it’s going to be hard to clearly explain my thoughts on the subject. So just bear with me. 

Disclaimer: because you used the word sin, I’m assuming you want a Christian perspective, which is really the only perspective I give anyway :P So that’s what this will be. 

From a biblical perspective, I think that the act itself of masturbation is not a sin, but the reasons we do it can be sinful. 

A few years ago, I wondered this very thing and I went in search of answers but couldn’t find anything conclusive. There are too many different interpretations of the bible, too many different pastors with different opinions. Since then I’ve matured (a tiny bit) and I’ve come to my own conclusions. And here they are: 

Sexual health professionals say that masturbation is healthy and, of course, they’re right. It’s necessary, in fact. Especially for guys. Male bodies are producing sperm and semen from a pretty young age, waaaaayy before they’re ready to get married and/or have sex. It needs to be ejaculated. You can’t just ignore that. So masturbation is necessary and healthy. Okay, cool. 

Also, the bible, which mentions many other sexual sins and perversions in lurid detail, does not mention masturbation once. NOT ONCE. NOT A SINGLE TIME. Isn’t that odd? Every single other sin is mentioned in the bible, but masturbation is not. Hmm…must be cause masturbation is not a sin! 

But here’s why people might try to convince you it’s a sin, and why you’re wondering whether or not it’s a sin. The bible does mention lust. It compares lust to adultery (Matthew 5:28), it repeatedly tells us to flee from sexual immorality, it speaks of covenant eyes (Job 31:1) so we can safely assume that lust is not a good thing. The catholics even put it in their seven deadly sins! 

And we have a problem because lust is a thing of the heart and the mind, and masturbation is a thing of the body, but the heart and mind are inextricable linked to the body. Therefore, masturbation is *almost* always connected to a sin, because it is accompanied by sexual fantasies about the girl/guy in our english class, or that model; or because it’s accompanied by porn. [Sidenote: porn is definitely sinful. That absolutely falls into the lust category. Also, porn is highly addictive. Like, family-ruining, job-losing addictive. And before you know it, you’re being treated for depression and ADHD when all that was really wrong with you was a porn addiction. See here.] So because we may be struggling in our hearts with lust, we will also be struggling in our bodies with masturbation. I found this quote on this website that I thought explained it rather well: 

“Specifically, if the act is done merely as a hedge against temptation and as thebody requires then there is no need for the above sinful “crutches”. This is hardly exciting, and a rote act of keeping the body in submission. It cannot be done often, as the body is not that demanding if left alone by a perverted imagination.”

So in conclusion, masturbation is not the sickness, but it can be a symptom. I rarely say stuff like this, because I’m not really an authority on…well, anything. However, I want to say it in this situation: IF you (you meaning anyone) feel like you’re struggling with masturbation, here are some things I want to tell you:

1. Bear in mind that masturbation is not the sin. You are probably suffering from some “soul-sickness”. And getting better is not about trying to go as long as you can without masturbating. Trying to go more than 24 hours without masturbating, or trying to go two days, or a week…that’s not dealing with the real issue. That’s just frustrating for you. Getting better is dealing with what’s really going on - your heart and mind are out of line. It might be a porn addiction. It might be frequent fantasizing, or staring a bit too long at that person. Whatever it is, if you deal with that, the masturbating thing will take care of itself. 

2. Don’t be ashamed. Sometimes, the church puts this stigma on sexual sins and we can’t talk about it and it’s all so hush-hush. But it’s better to talk about it than to try to deal with it on your own. That being said, talk to someone you can trust. Someone who loves you. Someone who will be discreet and sensitive and actually try to help. 

3. PRAY PRAY PRAY PRAY! We are not capable of turning off lustful thoughts at the flip of a switch. We do not have that much control over our own thoughts. We need a lot of help. And read your bible, because having your head filled with God’s word is a good way to keep impure thoughts out. 

4. Remember that God loves you and I love you no matter what. :)

Thanks for the question :) I hope that what I said made sense at least, and at best was somewhat helpful. :) Peace and love! -Katherine 

Hands

What are God's hands like?

I imagine He could hold all the earth's oceans in his cupped hand.  I imagine His fist could blot out the sun.  I imagine that the whorls and ridges of His thumb could be all the world's mountains and valleys.  I imagine the rings of his fingerprints could be the age rings of trees.  I imagine His fingernail could be the moon. 

I think that those are the hands that affixed the stars in the vast expanse of the night sky.  I think those are the hands that designed the structures of space.  The hands that penned the story of time.  The hands that composed the melody of the universe. The hands that directed the dance of the planets.  The hands that plucked the strings of life itself, its chords awakening the earth.  The hands that can stop the spinning of the globe on its axis. The hands that sculpted my face.  The hands that formed my bones. The hands that knit the fibers of my DNA together.  

What do such powerful and tender hands look like?

God's hands have a pale, circular scar in the center of each palm. They're a reminder of the nails that held Him to the cross. Those scars are remnants of the torture He endured, inflicted by the people He came to save. Those scars represent the despair and desperation of Jesus when God the father turned His back on His son. The blemishes on His palm are not imperfections; they're symbolic of His perfect sacrifice. They are tokens of the blood price He paid for our freedom. The scars testify to His victory over the grave. They proclaim that Jesus Christ is Lord of Life and Death! 

Also, upon close inspection, one might notice that the intricate network of lines on His hands are note creases like on our hands, but strings of very tiny letters. His entire hands are covered in minute writing. If you could read it, you would discover that it's an overwhelmingly long list of names, inscribed indelibly on God's hands. God has written your name, and my name, and the name of every single one of His children on His hands. He will never forget us because we are eternally inked on His palm.  

Therefore, God's hands are the ultimate expression of His character. They are literally covered in the evidence of His infinite love for us, and marked with proof of His unconditional grace. 

When you kneel to pray, and fold your own hands in front of you, stop to envision your Creator's hands, emblazoned with love and grace. 

I think they must be the most beautiful hands in the world. 

What is your opinion on purity rings?

Teehee, guess what…I wear a purity ring. 

I wear it on my wedding finger and everything. It says “Purity” on one side and “Matthew 5:8” on the other. I ordered it online from c28.com. 

I’ve heard a lot of differing opinions on the topic of purity rings. Some people think it’s really corny and stupid and seem to associate it with the image of a really sheltered, socially inept, uber-religious freak. One woman wrote a blog post that I read about how she stopped wearing hers because it said “True Love Waits” and she felt that it was indicative of her attitude of expectancy. Like she kept asking God to send her a husband and she realized that she was too hung up on it and wanted to find her worth and fulfillment in God instead of waiting for a man. 

I would like to think that I don’t belong to either of those categories. I KNOW for certain that I’m not pining away for a man. I can barely last 4 months in a relationship; I just love being single. And I have a whole bunch of plans for my life that don’t really require a husband. So I’m fairly secure in the knowledge that that’s not the reason I wear it. And although my decision to remain celibate until marriage is old-fashioned and prudish to a lot of people, I don’t think I’m out of touch with reality or brainwashed or crazy or anything. So the ring doesn’t have to be tied to that image. 

The reason that I wear it is that I like to wear my heart on my sleeve. I love outward expressions of my convictions. I have tshirts that advertise everything from my identity as a newfoundlander to my religious beliefs to my opinions on human trafficking and dating. And I like the idea of a tangible symbol of my decision to save sex for marriage. That’s all there is to it. 

Purity rings are generally harmless and innocent in and of themselves. Whether you decide to wear one or not is a personal decision and, I would venture to say, not even a very important one. It has no bearing on the validity of your decision, and it has no control over your actions. It’s just a symbol. Also, it is not, as one of my friends thought, a promise ring. No one gave me my purity ring and said “save yourself for me”. That’d be weird. 

Okay, that’s all I have to say! hahaThanks for the question :)Peace and love! -Katherine 

How do you feel about Polygamy?

Here :)

Do you think that God or Jesus will get mad if I have sex before I get married or engaged?

Here :) 

Your opinions on polygamy?

Hmm..I have to say that I am not so much a fan of polygamy. 

By way of explanation, I would have to say that it’s because I’m a big believer in the idea of “One Love”. That is to say, I’m not going to have sex until I’m married, and ideally, I plan to be married “until death do us part”. So I personally am not open to the idea of divorce except in the case of abuse or infidelity or some other such extreme circumstances. “Irreconcilable differences”, to me, is not an option. So that being said, my vision for my life is being in love with, being married to, and having sex with, only one person. I want to be so close to someone that I know them inside and out. I want to know all their strengths and all their weaknesses and love them for both equally, because that’s what makes them who they are. I want to be totally open and vulnerable about myself with someone and have them accept me for who I am. I want to have the irrefutable confidence that I want to spend every day until the end of my days with this person. I want to whether the storms of life with this person. I want to fight like crazy with this person. I want a life-partner. Like me and him against the world, you know? And to me, such an intimate experience with only one person makes it all the more valuable and precious. Especially with the sex thing, especially for me. 

But that’s just the romantic in me. Let’s talk about what the bible has to say on the topic of polygamy. 

In the bible, there are many examples of man who had more than one wife. Sure, King Soloman had 700 wives and 300 concubines on top of that! (1 Kings 11:2-3) [Sidenote: what the heck are you gonna do with that many women? I mean even if you slept with a different woman every day, it would take you more almost three years to get through them all! I bet he didn’t know most of their names.] That being said, most theological scholars seem to think that the polygamy was a cultural thing and only tolerated, if not condoned by God.

In Genesis, after God takes one of Adam’s ribs to make Eve, it says “This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” (Genesis 2:24) That seems pretty clear. It even says that two become one, so that seems to support the monogamy argument. 

Later on in the New Testament, Paul (who was a pretty funny guy) is talking about how he’s a bachelor because it allows him to focus more on his evangelical mission, but that it’s better to get married than to “burn in lust”. Because, for some reason, the members of the early church in Corinth seemed to think that sex is bad. This is completely false! Sex was created by God and it is a beautiful thing. So Paul is basically saying that sex is not a bad thing, but you shouldn’t really be sleeping around, because that’s not the way God intended it. Paul’s point is that trying to avoid sex completely is almost impossible, painful, frustrating for everyone involved, and a really good way to disappoint yourself. So marriage is the ideal situation here. Paul says, “But because of the temptation of sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.” (1 Corinthians 7:2) [Sidenote: The verse after that talks about how husband and wife should fulfill each other’s sexual needs. Well-known pastor and author Rick Warren tweeted that verse, which I think has got to be the most awkward scripture tweet ever. Its awkwardness is surpassed only by Christian comedian Tim Hawkins who mistakenly told someone that his favourite verse is Psalm 38:7, which says “I have a painful disease in my loins”.] 

So anyway, it would seem that the bible supports the idea of monogamy. I personally think that the way God designed sex was for one man and one woman within the bonds of God-consecrated, holy matrimony. (This is a discussion on polygamy. I’ve already talked about homosexuality at length here, here and here.) Therefore, my seemingly romantic “One Love” idea is actually firmly grounded in my religious beliefs. 

In conclusion: Polygamy is not a lifestyle that I would choose, based on my beliefs and personal moral code, but like anything else, I will not condemn another person for choosing that lifestyle. These are the choices I’ve made for my life and will not be arrogant enough to try to extend them into yours. 

Thanks for the question :) Love chatting with you guys! Peace and love! -Katherine 

Hey Katherine :) (its michaela) I love your blog! I also love the show 19 kids and counting with the Duggar family. I was just wondering if you watched the show and if so, do you like the Duggars as well? :) god bless! xox

Hello dear! I must confess, although I am familiar with the concept of the show, I had never seen a single clip. So when I read your question, I went and watched a couple episodes. I think they seem like really nice, really friendly people. They're a little bit more conservatives in their traditions than I am, but from what I can tell, it's nothing extreme or worrisome like that.

For example, from what I've read, their decision to abstain from using birth control was because they thought it caused their first miscarriage, as opposed to it being a religious thing, as I had originally thought. I mean, they did say they were gonna let God decide how many children they have, but I don't think they chose not to use it because they thought it was unholy or un-biblical or anything, so I definitely find that reassuring! 

I definitely adore children, but 19 or 20 would be way too much for me! So I think Michelle and Jim-Bob are a little bit crazy and also very very impressive people :P 

I'm not a huge reality tv fan, so I don't foresee it making my top 10 favourite shows or anything, but they really do seem like lovely people. :) Lots of love! -Katherine :) 

I have such respect for you! You are lovely.

Whaaattt!!?!? Ohmygosh, thank you so much!! You're the absolute sweetest! That means a lot to me :)

I've neglected the questions in my askbox for soooo long so I'm gonna answer them now sorry ok bye

Prayer - July 17

I'm a broken record. I spit the same words out at you. Over and over and over. By now they've lost all meaning, even to me. I'm stuck on the same part of the song. I'm singing you the same refrain again and again, but it's getting tired. "I'm sorry for letting myself grow cold. I'm gonna make a commitment to do better." How many times have I been "saved"? How many times have I prayed the prayer of repentance? How many times have I recommitted my life to you? Did I ever really mean it? I'm lukewarm water. Unfit for drinking, unfit for cooking, unfit for anything. I'm stagnant and disgusting. There are dust particles and all sorts of nasty bacteria collecting in this water. No wonder it make you gag. Maybe the worst possible fate I could think of - making Jesus gag. God, I don't want to make you gag. I know that I'm lukewarm because my life has become all about doing everything "right" and being "perfect" and "having it all together". My all-consuming passion is keeping that pathetic insecurity at bay by trying to fit all the roles I think I'm supposed to fit. But you've called me to something so much more. You've called me to break the mold. I know that your plans for me are so much above and beyond anything I could imagine. I know that you can take my life and turn it upside down and inside out and make something crazy amazing with it. So why am I so happy with my average, nice, white-picket-fence existence right now? Here's my life, jesus. Maybe this is the first time I've ever given it to you. Here are my fears and insecurities. Here are my dreams. Here are my plans. Here's my time. Here's my money. Here are my talents. Here are my passions. Here are my skills. Here's my past. Here's my present. Here's my future. Take it all. Love, me.

What would your reaction be if right now the story of the life of Jesus, and the bible were completely proven to be fiction? Do you think you would still have faith in something more than ourselves?

Well, see…people have been trying to tell me my whole life that what I believe is fiction. I’ve had friends, coworkers and teachers who put religion in the same category as fairytales. I’m really over it, cause the truth is that both creationism and darwinism are based on someone’s experience and observations, and both theories require a little bit of faith on the part of the believer. Furthermore, as I’ve outlined in a previous post, there is ample evidence supporting the veracity and credibility of the bible. 

Therefore, should such an event occur wherein the bible was exposed to be fraudulent amid a massive media storm, prompting a worldwide scandal, I expect that I would be one among thousands who point-blank refused to accept it. I wouldn’t be out protesting in the streets or anything, but I would just quietly and contentedly carry on with my life as if nothing had happened. You might call me pigheaded and stupid and any number of other negative adjectives, but it would probably be nothing I (or at least my religious group) haven’t been called before. 

Here’s why: I don’t believe what I believe because of something anybody else told me. I don’t believe what I believe for anybody else. I believe what I believe because of my own experience. So nothing external can sway my belief. No single force of this world can sway my convictions, because they are firmly rooted in a force that is decidedly outside of this world. 

All that being said, let’s play devil’s advocate for a second and say I’m wrong. What if after we die, there’s nothing but blackness and emptiness, and this life is all there really is (an idea that I honestly find completely absurd). If this life is the be-all, end-all, then I did pretty good. Barring the possibility of injury or illness, I probably lived a longer, happier, healthier life (both physically and psychologically) because I didn’t drink, smoke or fall prey to other addictions. I had a strong sense of self-value. I successfully avoided STI’s and teen pregnancy by eschewing sexual promiscuity.  I treated others with respect and acceptance. I loved people. I helped a lot of people. And I was surrounded the whole way through by a community of people who encouraged and supported and loved me (the church). All because I believed in Christ. Now, all that I just listed is NOT the reason I believe what I believe. They’re just perks - happy side-effects in the physical world -  of a decision which has eternal repercussions in the spiritual world. 

And what if I’m right? Then I get to live forever in paradise with my loving creator. Sweet deals. But what about you? If I’m wrong, there are really no downsides for me. But if you believe something else, and you’re wrong, what happens to you when you die? I dunno man. I’m not into the whole high-and-mighty, holier-than-thou, self-righteous, I-get-to-go-to-heaven-and-you-don’t shtick, but it’s still something to think about. Cause I have no qualms about what happens after my death, and it’s a very comfortable feeling to have. It’d be nice if everyone could be this comfortable with the idea of their own demise. 

That’s all I have to say :PThanks for the question! I know it took forever and a day for me to answer it, and I’m sorry. I hope you haven’t given up on me and actually read this answer. Peace and love! -Katherine 

Plot twist: as a christian, homophobia offends and appalls me far more than homosexuality ever could.

The strength of your faith is so awesome. I might not understand it, or have the same beliefs as you but i think it's SO cool that you can fully trust in your God and have no doubts about his love. Personally i'm not a religious person, i guess i'm somewhat spiritual but i don't consider it a big part of my life. But in certain situations i feel a compulsion to pray, because if i don't and the outcome is bad i'm always going to wonder "what if i had prayed?". Is that wrong?

No, I don’t think it’s wrong.

I feel like you believe that God exists in a vague, nebulous entity kinda way, and of course when one has even a faint idea that such a divine being exists, of course one would be curious and slightly awed. Especially in situations that feel overwhelming or impossible, it only makes perfect sense to turn to someone greater than ourselves. 

Furthermore, God is straight-up thrilled when you pray. The bible emphasizes repeatedly that God is attentive to His children. He hears your prayers and heeds them. In fact, He LOVES to hear your voice! His day is made when He hears that little voice go, “God? It’s me.” Just picture this: 

A very stressed-out looking angel is holding a clipboard and saying “God, we really need to deal with the Holy fountain of eternal chocolate in quadrant 6.” And God’s like “Wait wait wait wait. Shhhhh. Hear that? That’s Lauren! Listen! That’s my daughter Lauren talking to me!” And then He flings out His arms and yells, “QUIET EVERYONE!” The hustle of activity stops and everyone stares at Him. “Lauren’s talking!” He says. So all of heaven comes to a standstill to listen to Lauren talk to God. 

I just picked Lauren as a random name, but insert your own in that little story. Obviously, that’s hyperbole because although I dearly hope so, there might not actually be a holy fountain of eternal chocolate in heaven. That story was, however, a pretty accurate representation of how highly God thinks of you and your prayers. 

I just want to let you know that as big and humongous and powerful God is, He is still a very personal God. He knows you inside out and He delights in you. He thinks you’re the most amazing and fantastic thing in the world. And He wants to have a real relationship with you. Nothing would please Him more than to listen to you tell Him about your day every day. So it doesn’t have to be certain situations. It can be whenever, for any reason. 

So I’ll end this off by saying that your attitude is completely normal, and it’s not wrong. But I would encourage you to explore praying more, because it’s good for us, and it will help you understand God a bit better, and the two of you will be closer because of it, which, of course, is pretty frickin awesome :)

Peace and love! -Katherine 

Father`s Day Devo (My senior pastor asked me to write it for our church newsletter)

When I consider that God is spirit and has no biological relationships like humans do, I realize that the only reason God calls Himself “The Father” is for our benefit, to help us understand the relationship between God and people. God is described as many things: as our healer, provider, savior, and king; as a potter, a warrior, and a shepherd. However, our primary understanding of the identity of God is “God the Father”. So why is “Father” His preferred label? 

I came to the conclusion that if we were looking for something on earth that most closely resembled our relationship with God, It would be our relationship with our fathers. So I looked at my relationship with my dad. My dad’s the type of person who would move heaven and earth to help someone out. For example... 

-Last week he drove to Corner Brook to build a deck for the mother of one of his employees.  -Last summer I got a flat tire on my car while I was at work and he had it changed before I even finished my shift.  -When I was in grade 11, I had a public speaking competition the same weekend as the church youth retreat. He picked me up at Burry Heights, brought me to the competition in St. John’s, and then brought me back to Burry Heights after the competition. 

Truthfully, I will probably never know how much time and energy he puts into taking care of me when I’m not looking. That selfless devotion to taking care of our family and of the people around him is the essence of a father’s love. Fathers are spiritual models for how God loves us. The identity of a Christian father is imitating the character of God. The love that they demonstrate towards their children is a self-sacrificing love. That love puts their children before them. It’s the very same love that Jesus demonstrated when He died on the cross. 

In Matthew 7:11, Jesus says, “If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!” This is a father who literally can move heaven and earth to help us out. Like in Isaiah 38, when He made the sun go backwards, or Joshua 10, when the sun and moon stood still. Just picture God pinching the earth between His thumb and pointer finger to make it stop spinning. He interferes in the solar system for us! More importantly, He died for us. We will never grasp the vast and overwhelming love of God, but if we want a tiny glimpse, we’ll find it in our fathers.

This is more of an issue directed towards the Catholic church than towards you, but i feel like your insight might be able to clear it up for me, at least somewhat. So. Why is it that homosexuality is such a prevalent issue now, and why is it still so strongly enforced that it is wrong and a sin when there were SO many other things in the bible like eating pork or talking to a woman who was menstruating which were equally as wrong. Times have changed, why is the church denying human rights?

I’m so sorry it’s taken me so long to answer you! I have been…how shall I put it? Emotionally unstable as of late, teehee ;) And as a general rule, I try not to do anything of much importance during times of emotional instability. :P If I can help it. And your questions are very important to me.

I’m also flattered that you value my insight so highly, and will do my best to give you some clarity.

First off, I beg of you to appreciate how difficult this issue is for Orthodox Christians. That is, Christians who believe the whole bible. I am one of those. And when I try to sort out the homosexuality issue in my head, I end up with a sort of temporary split-personality disorder.

Katherine 1 says that obviously, you can’t blame someone for something they can’t help.

Katherine 2 wonders why the bible would say it’s wrong if it can’t be helped.

Katherine 3 says to shut up both of you, because there’s no condemnation for sin anyway through the blood of Jesus Christ.

Katherine 3 always wins and that’s usually the end of the discussion. But you see, some people ONLY have a Katherine 2. Now even with that as our starting point, we’ve still got flawed logic because there’s all this other crap, like you mentioned, such as eating pork and talking to women who are menstruating.

On a sidenote, avoiding women who are menstruating is not only an Old Testament law, it’s also just good sense!

Anyway…the point is that those things are Old Testament laws. They’re the kind of stuff you would find in Leviticus, where it also says stuff like “don’t sit on a beaver while wearing red horizontal stripes on the third Tuesday of the month if it’s raining…because aliens don’t wear hats.” That is, obviously, hyperbole meant to illustrate the sheer ludicrousness of some of the laws in the OT. They had all these random laws because that was back before Jesus died so they legitimately had to be perfect. And if they messed up, they had to sacrifice animals to pay for their sins. This whole cosmic consequences thing is no joke. Our actions have earthly and spiritual repercussions, and we owe a blood debt. Thankfully, Jesus paid that debt. But before that, they had to kill firstborn lambs and crap like that. So that’s where the pork and period stuff comes from. All that stuff became obsolete after Jesus died. The old laws don’t hold us captive anymore because the blood of Christ covers all our sins.

UNFORTUNATELY, homosexuality is also mentioned in the New Testament, by Paul, who lived years after Jesus’ death. He also says it’s wrong. So now we’re back to square one.

The way I see it, there are at least three reasons why the church sees itself as capable of condemning homosexuality:

They can distance themselves from it. All other sins, cheating, sexual deviance, drugs, lying, pride, have all infiltrated our pews and made themselves at home. We can’t judge any of those sins because we commit them. So we preach forgiveness, redemption and freedom for all those sins, but not for homosexuality. You know, sometimes I think that the church just wants a way to make themselves feel better, like they’re not as bad as everybody else. I dunno, I might be making that up. Bottom line is that we forget that all sin is equal.

The church is very fond of behavior modification. Obviously, the bottom line is a relationship with Jesus. That is the number one most basic, most primary need of every human being. But on top of that, the church likes to fix people and work out strategies to get them to stop doing the “sin” instead of focussing on what really matters: the incredible saving grace of the gospel. And homosexuality…cannot be modified. Gay people don’t want our “help”. They don’t want to change, and can’t even if they wanted to. In a way, I think that infuriates us.

The government and structures of society, until recently, have supported our intolerance. It only started not so long ago that amendments were being made to legislature to allow gay people to marry. Being supported by the law can make anyone feel secure in a position of hate. I read Huck Finn last year, and the poor confused boy thought he was going to hell for freeing a slave, because that was what he had been taught. Church and government have often been hand in hand, and racism seemed to have been condoned by Christians at one point too. Which is just as atrocious as our current predicament. You would think we would learn that people are people, loved by God no matter what!

Finally, it’s such a prevalent issue NOW because it’s relevant now. When racism was abundant and black people were confined to separate bathrooms, busses and hospitals, I wouldn’t be a tad bit surprised if there weren’t churchgoers protesting the eradication of colour segregation. All one has to do is read The Help by Kathryn Stockett to get a good picture of that. But that’s history and now it seems foolish that black people and white people were ever separated at all.

That being said, the bible doesn’t say that being black is wrong. And yeah, times have changed, but whether you think it should or not, the bible doesn’t change. I’m not going to compromise my beliefs to be relevant, but I sure as heck am not gonna judge or condemn someone for being gay. Neither will I deny them basic human rights. I believe that gay people should have the right to marry each other. Who are we straight people to say what they can and cannot do? That’s just foolish. We are all people, equal, and worthy of love and respect. And, I might add, all needing Jesus.

Look, I don’t mean to bash on the institution of organized religion. The church is meant to be a body of believers, Christ’s bride. I love the church. I love the family, the community, and, despite my sarcastic comments, the genuine love and acceptance. We’re not all bad. Some of us get confused. Katherine 1 and 2 may never settle their differences, and I just have to live with my split personality. And from confusion can stem misguidedness, good intentions, and mistakes. We are still learning, and trying our very best to make sense of conflicting information from the world and the bible.

This post was just an analysis of the attitude of the modern church. And it’s just my opinion. I could have made all this stuff up. I’m not saying that all Christians think and act like the ones I described in my 3 reasons for condemnation. And I’m not saying that kind of behaviour is right. I’m just saying.

But I do believe that we’ll get better. We will get more tolerant. There’s a bright future for the church and homosexuality, I’m sure of it. God’s love is a powerful, all-consuming force. And his love for all His children is fierce. He’s reminding us of that right now. Keep your hopes up. :)

Peace and love! -Katherine

w. prodigalmagazine com/ jesus-called-me-the-n-word/ please read it. Its great! However it makes me realize something with the words: "how do you love someone whose actions or behaviors you find really unacceptable?". Yes the C.S Lewis quote... My dilemma is, its like spreading a fake love, i know its better to love then it is to hate. But deep down he still thinks its unacceptable, He realizes their pain and apologizes, but he doesn't accept them, so why selfless love why not respect!?

“There is someone that I love even though I don’t approve of what he does. There is someone I accept though some of his thoughts and actions revolt me. There is someone I forgive though he hurts the people I love the most. That person is……me.” - C.S.Lewis(If you can’t say amen, say ouch.) 

Wow. Awesome, awesome quote. And great article! Okay so let’s examine your quarrel with this article. So if I understand you correctly, you feel like the fact that he still finds homosexuality “unacceptable”, means that he doesn’t genuinely love them. And your proposition is that if he did love them, he wouldn’t still have a problem with homosexuality. Alright, I will give you my interpretation and my opinion and hope that it’s…somewhat useful.

The problem I see with the Homosexuality vs. Religion catastrophe is rooted in the fact that it’s supposedly a unique situation. As I see it, there are two reasons for this. 

If I believe the bible, which I do, I believe that homosexuality is wrong. This is a problem because of the age-old psychological nature vs. nurture debate, and the fact that homosexuality is currently considered to be a natural, involuntary state which remains constant throughout the lifespan. And how can you judge someone for something they can’t help? That’s why homosexuality, among all the sins in the bible, is treated as a special case by non-religious people. 

But why is homosexuality treated as a special case by religious people? I mean, of all the things to protest with picket signs, why pick homosexuality? If I’m not mistaken, adultery is still a bad thing, right? Where are the laws against that? No one’s petitioning to make that illegal. We’re not a fan of taking the Lord’s name in vain but we sure have developed a high tolerance for it! Oh and drug and alcohol abuse. There are a good many Pentecostal church kids in that category. Do we kick them out of houses and out of churches? And don’t even get me started on Christian boys and porn addiction, we’d be here all night! So WHY is there acceptance and forgiveness for all that other stuff at the alter, and not for homosexuality?

I’m actually gonna tell you why. Let me address these two issues separately.

When it all boils down, I have no idea whether I think homosexuality is a choice or not. But guess what. I DON’T CARE!  I honestly could not care any less than I do right now whether homosexuality can be helped or not. It makes no difference to how I see you. It makes no difference to how I treat you. It makes no difference to how I love you. Hypothetically, if someone really did consciously and willingly make a choice to be gay, that wouldn’t make a difference either. I mean, all the crap we choose to do doesn’t, why should this? 

To answer the big WHY question back there, it’s because church people feel like we need to “fix” everybody’s behavior. You’re cutting? Let’s draw a butterfly on your arm and work through a positive psychology plan for diminishing relapses. (That actually worked for my friend.) You have a porn addiction? Okay, make me your accountability partner and download a secure browser and I’ll get email updates on your browsing activities every week. (I actually do get emails like that.) And I’m not saying that trying to help someone who wants help is bad! I’m saying that the compulsion to modify behavior is bad. We are accepting and loving but we want to fix you. And when church people come up against something they can’t control, like homosexuality, the rules change? I mean, come on. In reality, although I’m glad for butterflies and weekly emails, I don’t have to fix anybody. I can just go one loving them and leave it at that. And those butterflies and emails, they’re not me. They’re Jesus. Jesus is the only one who can do any fixing, so I’m not even sure why I try. 

But here’s the thing. All sin is equal in the sight of God. (James 2:10). So why are people making this big stinking deal about homosexuality when some of us have so much pride in our hearts, we can’t even hear God anymore and we probably think we wrote the bible! Some of us have so much hate that our souls are corroding away inside of us. Some of us have so much lust and secrets and shame that we can barely make eye contact. And you’re gonna look at me and say “homosexuality is a sin”? No my son (Newfoundland expression). I’ve got bigger things in my own life to deal with than homosexuality. And chances are, so do you.

Secondly, I feel as though we’re reading this article through different filters and the way we perceive love is very very different. I’m sensing that you see love as an endpoint. Like I’ve got to jump through a hoop, crawl through a tunnel, pole vault, limbo and do the hokey pokey before I can love you. And you see my issue with homosexuality as an obstacle that needs to be overcome before I can love you. Maybe homosexuality is a wall between me and loving you. And I just climb over the wall. But…the wall’s still there. It’s still a big huge reminder that the path to loving you was not easy. Maybe by saying that he still finds their behavior unacceptable, you feel like he’s cheating on his love. And that’s why you called it a fake love. 

Well I’m here to tell you that that’s not the way it works at all. Love is a starting point. It’s not like “Okay fiiiine, I guess I love you, even though….” No no no. It’s just “I love you.” Period. End of story. No ifs, ands or buts. In reality, it’s “I love you becauseyou’re a person and you’re a child of God, and God loves you.” And that’s good enough for me. That’s all there is to it. There are no qualifications on God’s love! He didn’t ask to see photo ID or a baptism certificate or your report card before He loved you. He just does! That is the nature of unconditional love. And that’s how I love you. EVERYTHING ELSE in the entire world is secondary to that fact. Your colour, your size, your height, your weight, your gender, your culture, your religious affiliation, your political opinions, your sexual orientation, your socio-economic status, your income, your education, your choices, your actions, your attitudes, your behavior, your family, your upbringing, your personality and your genetics are ALL secondary to the fact that first and foremost, and above all, you are a human being, worthy of love. And I don’t have to change your behavior. My ONLY job is to love you. I think that’s what the author was getting at in that article. It wasn’t really that he had this grand revelation that changed everything, it’s more like God brought Him back to the basics.

See, I know that God loves me. That’s why I’m capable of loving myself despite the terrible things I do, the struggles I face, the mistakes I make and the people I hurt. God loved us before we were born, so we obviously didn’t earn it, and obviously nothing we do will change it. And as a Christian, I love people the same way. 

Finally, respect is one of the primary exigences of love. Please, please don’t ever think that I don’t respect you. No matter who you are, no matter what you’ve done. Nowhere in that article does it state that he doesn’t respect gay people. You’re inferring disrespect where none was implied. Furthermore, nowhere is it written anywhere that you and I have to be in 100% agreement to love each other. Just because we might come down on different sides of the homosexuality question makes no difference to how I love you. I disagree with a lot of people on a lot of things, some small, some rather large. But I love them all the same. Just because I disagree with your behavior doesn’t mean I don’t respect you, and it doesn’t mean I don’t genuinely love you. 

I hope this helps a little! Thanks for your question :)Peace and love! -Katherine 

have you ever experienced or witnessed a miracle?

Hmm...I don't thiiiiink so. Obviously, I've seen lots of divine stuff: tongues and interpretation, slain in the Spirit, prophesy, etc etc. I'm been in the room with people who were healed. Two examples come to mind: 1) A woman with chronic pain for years instantly pain-free. 2) A girl with scoliosis literally feeling her spine being straightened.

The former is from YC, October 2012 and the latter is from YB2, August 2012. I've heard so many first hand witness accounts from friends, family, and church family who report amputated arms growing back and countless healings. If you count a healing as a miracle, then the answer is yes. I actually, for some weird reason, put miracles in a different category, so I'm inclined to say no. Haha Have a great day! Peace and love! -Katherine 

If your parents weren't religious do you think you'd still have strong faith?

Of course not. Where, I ask you, would I have met Jesus in the first place, if not for my parents? Who knows, maybe He would have arranged a meeting for me at some point in my life. I hope that parallel-universe me would be sensible enough to open up to Him. I often wonder what I'd be like if I didn't know Jesus. I speculate sometimes that I'd be rather more promiscuous, with significantly lower self-esteem. I would most likely be a lover of alcohol. Beyond that, I have trouble figuring out what parts of me are me and what parts are Jesus. Would I have the same love and compassion for people? Would I have black and white views or would I be all grey areas? I don't know the answers to those questions. I don't know where I'd be if I didn't know Jesus. But I do know that I'm grateful I never will. I'm exceedingly thankful that I got that early introduction, cause my life with Jesus is frickin awesome! HahahaThanks for the question :)Peace and love! -Katherine 

Can religion and science co-exist? religious people bash on scientists, yet scientists never claimed to create, be smarter, wiser or greater then god. They just ask questions and get answers based on observations. Scientists call it proof, religion calls it faith. One is based on logic and proof the other we are expected to be wise enough to believe in. Evolution and Adam & Eve, The big bang and the 7 days of creation. How do you justify them, or do you believe just one theory? why mix the two?

Hold up now, I’m getting some serious misconceptions from you here. Some religious people bash on scientists. And some scientists bash on religious people. Unfortunately, I fear that there will always be bad blood between those who view themselves as being driven by the pursuit of pure, rational knowledge, and those who view themselves as being privy to a transcendent, divine message. Many in each camp see the other as polar opposite, but they’re more similar than they know. If you ask me, and you did (mwahaha), science and religion don’t need to look for a way to peacefully coexist, they already cooperate quite beautifully, if only we would see it. Let’s face it, there are some gaps in the proof for the big bang and there’s even some scientific evidence for the truth of the bible. But neither theory can explain everything. They’re both a few pieces short of the full puzzle. You know why? Cause it’s the same puzzle. Evolution is obviously a perfectly respectful theory. Darwin’s finches is an observable phenomenon and I don’t deny the existence of evolution. I find it a tad hard to swallow though, when the simple phenomenon of evolution is stretched so much as to explain how we got from a collision of matter and antimatter and primordial soup to the complex ecosystems and organisms we have today. I accept that there are myriad things we don’t know and probably never will. I am a science enthusiast and a Christian. Are the two mutually exclusive? Of course not. Do I “mix the two”? Well…no. There’s nothing to mix. God, being supernatural, created all the natural world. Science is the explanation of the natural world. That’s not so hard. Some of my most spiritual moments were…1. Grade 12 Biology, DNA unit. 2. Kennedy Space Center, Orlando FL, 2012. The microscopic and the macroscopic get me so fired up cause I’m just squirming in my seat like a little kid, going “God, you are SO COOL!” The more I learn about this world, the more amazed and inspired I am by the God who (to me) obviously made it. His fingerprints are everywhere, and that’s what science is to me. Although, interestingly, I’m also completely in love with the arts, because that’s God’s fingerprints inside of us. Ta-da! The reconciliation of what seem to be conflicting schools of thought. Only the truly close-minded would think that religion and science are mutually exclusive. :) Peace and love! -KatherineP.S. Einstein said that the more he studied the universe, the more he believed in a higher power.  

Hello Darlings! I'm doing the 30 Hour Famine in a couple weeks, fasting to raise awareness and accepting money to raise money for World Vision, a Christian humanitarian organization. Their programs span education, childcare, healthcare, and nutrition. If you would like to contribute to this fantastic cause, it would be much appreciated! Lots of love :)  -Katherine 

Wow, that last answer I wrote was MASSIVE. I'm sorry anon, I just got really passionate about your question! I'm hoping that you appreciate my enthusiasm in question-answering and read the whole entire thing because I must admit, I think it's one of my better works of answer art. If you're staggered by its absurd length, again I apologize and entreat you to read it all anyway, to really understand what I'm trying to say. If not, at least skim it to get the gist of it. :P  Love, me :)