I've Been Writing A One Shot For Like A Month Now And I'm Making Such Little Progress On It )':

Sailor Moon Skylines

Hello everyone! The Steam visual novel fest is now live, and a bunch of my VNs will be discounted during its duration! I'm mostly known for writing about girls kissing other girls (preferably while wearing maid outfits), but I write stories in a lot of different genres! 🙏✨ You can check out my visual novels on Steam here! There's a lot of bargains you can pick up! For example, my yuri VN with maids, Blackberry Honey, is only $5 during the sale! Wow, how cool!

Pairing: Gwyn x Reader

Summary: You wanted to be first to tell your best friend Happy Birthday (and maybe you just wanted her to yourself for the night).

Inspired by this post: sleeping in the same bed, as they’d often do, but one morning waking up cuddling

Word Count: 1.8k

Notes: It's literally just a fluff piece and I wrote in one go. I'm planning on doing a series of little prompts like this, based on the friends-to-lovers trope.

You hurriedly wiped down the counters as the clock ticked down. You made quite the mess while baking, despite your “clean-as-you-go” attitude. Time got away from you so quickly, and at this rate you would be late. Again. You always had a hard time shaking that nasty habit. But at least all the treats were wrapped neatly and stored safely in the basket. If you had been using your own kitchen, you might have just left the mess for later, but Nesta would rip you a new one if you didn’t leave her kitchen cleaner than you found it.

You gathered your things and triple checked the basket to make sure everything was there. It did little to ease your nerves, which had been increasing drastically each time you had plans to spend time with Gwyn. You couldn’t identify exactly why you found yourself overthinking every conversation, couldn’t identify the meaning of the rush of emotions you felt with every touch.

You spared a glance in the mirror and wished you had more time to make yourself a little more presentable, but time was not on your side, and Gwyn would have finished her work by now. You rushed to the library, giving Clotho a quick “Hello,” as you rushed past her desk, to the stairs, to Gwyn’s room. The plan had been to sneak down to her room while she was still working and surprise her then, but by the time you got to her door, you could hear her moving around on the inside. You drew in a deep breath, trying to calm your nerves.

Before you could knock, the door to Gwyn’s room flew open and her bright teal eyes nearly knocked the wind out of you. “Were you planning to come in at some point?” she teased, her delicate brow arched and a playful smile on her lips. 

You stammered over your words for a second as your brain scrambled to form a sentence. “I was gonna give it another few minutes,” you responded, earning a chuckle from the female.

Gwyn tilted her head, motioning for you to enter. You stepped in, and the room you’ve spent many nights in suddenly felt a little unfamiliar to you. It was just the nerves, you told yourself, the stupid nerves that you just couldn’t shake no matter how hard you tried. “To what do I owe the pleasure?” Gwyn asked.

“Well,” you started, setting the basket down on the small table in the corner, “I brought you a little something.” You motioned for the female to join you at the table.

“You didn’t have to-” she began as she approached.

“Stop it,” you cut in, giving her a warm smile. “It’s my best friend’s birthday, obviously I had to get you something.”

The female removed the lid to the basket, and her eyes widened for a split second as she peered into. “You know, my birthday is technically tomorrow,” she said as she began pulling out the various sweets you had made for her. Her long, delicate fingers peeled at one of the wrappers, exposing the delicious smelling brownie - her favorite dessert. You knew she wouldn’t be able to resist eating one of your fudgy creations for long. Your eyes were glued to her lips as she brought the brownie to them and bit in. She moaned in delight at the taste, and the sound sent shivers down your spine.

“These are incredible,” she sang, your cheeks warming at the praise. You had baked for Gwyn a million times, and heard those exact words come out of her mouth on more occasions than you could count, but this time it felt like the Mother was hand-delivering a blessing.

“There’s plenty more, all for you,” you laughed, her delight filling you with warmth. “But there’s something else at the bottom.”

She handed her brownie to you so she could continue digging through the basket. You knew she would get distracted by all the sweets on top, but you didn’t want your actual gift for her to smash all the desserts you had worked so hard on for her. She eventually got to the bottom and pulled out the flat, teal box, which you had picked specifically to match her eyes. Gwyn gasped softly as she opened the box, and you found yourself holding your breath as she examined what was inside.

Gwyn carefully lifted the object out of the box to take a closer look. It was a small painting, not much bigger than the size of her hand, that you had commissioned from Feyre. It was of the moment she cut the white ribbon for the first time, something that you knew she considered to be one of her proudest moments. You had even ordered a custom golden frame to be built for it. There was a note on the back that you had handwritten for her, but decided to let her discover that on her own someday. Her bright smile filled you with longing.

“I love it,” she whispered, and you watched as she recounted the moment in her head. It made your heart swell, and you swore you could feel every little thing that she was. It was almost as if you had experienced that moment yourself. “I know exactly where I’m going to put this.” She strode across the room, graceful as ever, and placed it on the small end table near her bed. 

You weren’t usually good at gift-giving - it was hard to be when your friends already had everything they could possibly want - but you were proud of what you were able to pull together for Gwyn, even if it wasn’t much.

The rest of the night wasn’t much unlike any of the other nights you spent with Gwyn. Except the two of you shared the various sweets you had made for her, opting out of a real meal for dinner. Nights like these, where you got to have the female all to yourself, were becoming the greatest joys of your life. Her voice was the sweetest melody, her laughter a symphony, her smile a concerta put on just for you. 

As the night began to wind down, the two of you had wound up in Gwyn’s bed. Again, a familiar scene to you began to feel like something more as you watched the female try to fight off sleep.

“It’s almost time,” you whispered, reaching over to brush a strand of copper hair out of her face. Gwyn’s lips curled into the softest smile, humming in response. The two of you laid there in silence for a moment, staring into each other's eyes as you waited. As that feeling in your chest began threatening to burst out of you, you quickly looked away to check the clock again. You watched as the second hand ticked and ticked closer to midnight. Just a few more seconds.

You turned back towards Gwyn, giving her a toothy grin. You drew in a deep breath, then gently took one of her hands in yours. “Happy birthday, Gwyneth.”

She wrapped both hands around yours, those big, beautiful eyes staring into yours, making your heart race so quickly that you were sure she would detect it. You put your everything into stilling it, praying to the mother for help in making sure the sound fell on deaf ears. Her thumb ran along your bracelet, the friendship bracelet she had made for you, and she closed her eyes momentarily. “I love you,” she whispered, her hands squeezing around yours. 

These were words you heard out of her mouth dozens of times before, but this time felt so different. There went that stupid heart of yours, beating so hard you thought it might fly out of your chest, over words that didn’t carry the meaning you so desperately wanted them to. Your prayers to the Mother were clearly being ignored.

“I love you too.” The words took some of the weight off of you as they left your mouth, but you knew the deeper meaning behind them was lost upon your best friend. You wiggled closer to the female and pressed a soft kiss to her hands. For a split second, you thought you might have heard, or maybe even felt, Gwyn’s heart beating as wildly as yours. Or maybe your mind was just trying to play tricks on you. “Get some rest, you have a long day ahead of you.”

Gwyn nodded, and those beautiful eyes disappeared for the remainder of the night.

You were the first to rise in the morning. You tried to blink the sleepiness out of your eyes, but the comfort of the bed and the warmth of Gwyn’s body pressed against you fought back twice as hard. The realization took a moment to fully hit you, but when it did, well, butterflies are the understatement of the century. This was a first for you, and your heart didn’t know how to take it. But after confirming that the female was still asleep, you figured there was no harm in letting yourself enjoy it.

You shut your eyes again and gently nuzzled your face into her neck, breathing in her scent. You kept your arm draped over the female’s waist, resisting the urge to pull her closer to you. These precious few moments made you pray to the Mother once again, thanking her for this small kindness. The way your bodies fit together felt natural, felt right, and each second that passed was like a wish come true. You let yourself drift back to sleep, because you knew you couldn’t be the one to end this.

Not long after, Gwyn began to stir in your arms. The movement was enough to bring you fully to consciousness. You felt her stretch her body out, like she was trying to wake herself up fully, so you carefully removed your arm from her. The female rolled over wordlessly and her eyes met yours. It felt like an eternity as you laid there, once again staring into each other’s eyes without a word being exchanged. It caused you to stir, inside and out, and unsure of what else to say or do, you blurted, “Happy birthday!”

And there was that amazing laugh, the one that made your heart pound and your brain roar and your instincts go crazy. Gwyn sat up and stretched her limbs out once again. “Good morning to you, too,” she laughed. Your heart sank for a moment as you watched her climb out of bed to get ready for the day, but now wasn’t the time to mope. You had a whole day planned just for her, and you were going to do everything in your power to make sure it was perfect.

Insatiable you

Pairing: Eris x Rhysand’s sister!reader | WC: 5.1k | warnings: smut, piv, mentions of death and grief

Summary: Eris’s sudden disappearance when you saw him last has left you in a foul mood for weeks. Unwilling to admit to the source of them, they aren’t as one sided as your mate wants you to think they are.

Author’s note: this is part two to It’s just to satiate the bond and is the beginnings of my gingerfucker series. Happy reading and happy belated gingerfucker birthday to all who celebrate

The bond pulled tight in your chest, a string taut, the other end clear: come here.

Eris Vanserra had another thing coming if he were to believe you were at his beck and call, mate or not. It had been a month since he left you waiting in the woods. Four long weeks of knowing something happened to drive your mate away. Nights were spent gazing at the ceiling, mulling over every encounter with him, cataloging every moan, every sigh, every touch.

That string pulled again, fanning the flames of your ire. You could feel your blood pressure rising each time he did it, each tug causing some insult to come spewing from your lips.

Entitled, self-centered, jerk.

You ignored him. Again.

Every night at midnight, like clockwork, he tugged on your heartstrings, frustration at your icy silence evident across the distance between you two. You felt a bit of smug satisfaction at leaving him wanting - surely no one had dared to leave him wanting for anything before.

Spoiled princeling.

It was the only positive from this, the only enjoyment from the situation. Your last encounter with Eris had been devastating, leaving you in a foul mood that still lingered. Everyone had been tiptoeing around you lately, unsure of what happened to cause the storm that was brewing inside.

To make it worse, your powers were leaving those around you on edge. Cassian was more reckless, more driven during training, nearly ripping Azriel’s head off last week. Azriel was more withdrawn, lurking out of sight, spending his time gods know where. Mor was snippy, petty comments flying from her mouth at whoever crossed her path. Rhysand was the only one somewhat immune to it - he was only slightly more agitated than his normal demeanor, his grip so tight on his morning tea yesterday it shattered the mug.

You couldn’t help it - everything inside of you felt wrong, even worse than when you had lost your wings all those years ago. Learning how to walk again after that felt impossible. The ground tilting in different directions with each step, any sense of balance gone. It had taken a year to feel confident in your stride, for your mourning to end. You had lost your sister, mother, father, and wings all in one night.

It had been a confusing whirlwind of pain, most of the night a blur to you. The memory that stood out the most was the scent of pecans and smoke, something almost sickly sweet. Every scar was covered in that scent, every memory singed with it. You were grateful pecans didn’t grow in Night, only available in the western edge of Autumn.

Where your mate lived.

But now this feeling of otherness, like something was wrong, was almost worse. At least you knew what had been bothering you then - there was a source to your grief, frustration, and agony. You were only somewhat aware of the source this time. He had a name, bright red hair, and a sharp tongue that made you see stars. Ignoring your calls for him did more to you than you wanted to admit.

But you just couldn’t work out what happened. You hadn’t said anything to scare him off, only reiterating that it was just sex as normal.

You didn’t like how much this was bothering you.

Eris had been at the root of so much of your life lately - the loss of your wings, the bond snapping for you, the frequent romp in the woods. Now he was consuming your nights as well? That wouldn’t do.

So now, every night at midnight, you stay up, waiting for that tug to come. And each night, the smugness was gone faster and faster each night, leaving you with a gaping hole in your chest, curling into the darkness until you fell asleep.

-

It was pure luck when it happened, another perfect storm of circumstances and choice to lead you where you needed to be most. Rhysand was gone, off to the Illyrian camps with Cassian and Azriel. Amren was in her apartment, avoiding all of you because Cassian couldn’t resist being as annoying as possible and she needed a ‘month long vacation from stupid’. Mor was - well, somewhere, you supposed. She had mumbled something about needing a break, some alcohol, and a hot fae wrapped around her.

The thought had crossed your mind that they were avoiding you, figuring out that you were the source of their agitation. Gossipy enough to discuss it amongst themselves, but avoidant enough to hope it would go away on its own.

So that left you all alone in the townhouse tonight. It was your favorite home, the other ones not quite as homey to you. The House of Wind was depressing, especially since the loss of your wings meant it was inaccessible without an escort. The Moonstone Palace was a depressing museum of memorabilia you had seen your entire life, the impressiveness of it worn off many centuries ago.

That left the cabin in Illyria you couldn’t bear to go back to. You hadn’t been back since that night, just the memory of its familiar walls making your breathing shallow. Some form of Illyrian pride circulated your veins, making your barren back too shameful to be seen. You knew what the males would say, how the females would look at you in pity, the taunts that would be thrown your way.

It was better to distance yourself from your people. They would get it, every Illyrian’s worst nightmare on display for all to see. They would flinch, shielding their kids eyes, or point you out as a cautionary tale.

That’s what happens to over ambitious females.

Waking up after your wings were gone was the worst experience of your life. Rhysand had held you while you wailed, deep guttural sounds that threatened to topple Mount Ramiel. The loss of it all had threatened to consume you.

Life as you knew it before was over and you would never be the same person you were. You would never see your mother’s smile or hold your sister’s hand again, never able to sit in your father’s study as he scratched a quill on parchment.

Grief had taken residence in your home, an unwelcome guest who refused to leave. The four of you had quickly become ghosts of your past selves. The Illyrians around you began avoiding you because of their wings. Anytime they saw you they were straining to keep them tucked in and small. You began resenting them for trying to hide the most obvious parts of themselves from you, but you also resented them for still having their wings.

Damned if they do, damned if they don’t.

Traditional mourning black wasn’t enough to convey your grief. It wasn’t dark enough to showcase the storm that brewed inside of you.

The scars on your back still itched whenever you saw the black dress tucked in the back of your closet you wore to the funeral.

The funeral was held a few weeks after their deaths - Rhysand wanted you to be more stable before being seen in public, delaying the event for several weeks, enchantments around their bodies to keep them here and preserved for as long as possible.

The appreciation you felt had never been vocalized, never being able to truly thank him for waiting. The funeral had been difficult, but you spent the whole time propped up between Azriel and Cassian. Their large bodies kept you upright, not allowing your shaky legs to give out. You were pale and sweaty, but you stood the entire time, not giving in.

The priestesses had burnt night jasmine over the bodies of your family, hoping to allow them some tranquility as they moved on from this plane of existence. Pyres were built in their honor around them, wreaths of flowers and branches were built to lay atop them.

The people of Velaris looked to you and Rhysand, the last members of their noble family. They offered words of condolences, each of them depositing a flower at your feet.

A memorial to those that still lived, to the one that survived. Their princess was spared the cruelties of another High Lord. So flowers laid at your feet, a premonition for your own future grave.

The incense and the flowers made the town square smell so fresh, but the scent of night jasmine was the most overwhelming. It still clung to the dress in your closet, hitting you every day in smaller doses. Time had helped scab over the scars, but on days like today, it just hurt that extra bit more.

You were years past that, time healing your physical wounds. Your gait was steadier, as if you had never had wings. The scars were just that - healed over skin that bothered you before the wind would pick up, as if some part of your skeleton yearned to take to the skies. The ache had subsided every time you walked past paintings of your sister that hung in the House of Wind. Saying their names had become easier. You could even tell stories about them now without getting choked up.

Now you sat in the living room, spiraling in your own fears and worries. The full moon had come and gone many times since that night, and the males responsible were dead. You should feel fine. And you usually did feel fine.

But tonight the wind howled against your window, a strong storm pelting the glass so loudly you thought it would break. Rain was falling so hard on the roof you were slightly worried it might cave in.

Worst of all - you felt all alone.

The book in your lap was little help. Several minutes went by, your eyes pretending to read, your brain running in the background. The words were nothing, gibberish slashes your brain couldn’t quite make into words. There was nothing special about tonight, but you still couldn’t shake this lingering sense of dread.

A tug in your chest shot a spike of adrenaline through you, heating your body. The last person you wanted to think of right now was Eris Vanserra.

But you couldn’t help the tiny bit of soothing you felt at the contact at the thought that you were on his mind at this moment. Which only annoyed you further. You weren’t some schoolgirl, accepting any scrap of attention you’d receive from a suitor. You were Night Court nobility, a fearsome princess. The night incarnate.

Thunder rumbled in the distance, the sound startling you so badly the book fell from your lap.

Night incarnate who was afraid of a thunderstorm, you supposed.

A tree tapped the window, making your heart pump faster. Your breathing quickened, trying not to get yourself worked up. It’s fine - it’s just a storm was repeated over and over again in your head, trying to slow your breathing.

Everything would be fine.

Your self-soothing fell flat as the room filled with light, the lightning striking something close outside the window. Shards of glass littered the floor, embedding themselves in Rhysand’s hand sewn rug. A scream tore from you, panic and fear etching themselves into your soul. The thunderous beating of your heart was too hard for you to feel the desperate tugs on the string around your heart.

Your arms braced around your head, prepared for impact, but all that came was the rain. After a moment you looked up, finding a large tree limb in the living room. The tree that had been lightly tapping the window all night was suddenly inside the living room. You groaned, trying to find something to cover the window with. You could tape up a blanket, maybe?

If Rhys were here he could just reassemble the window, putting the tree back in its rightful place, but you unfortunately weren’t gifted with much magic outside of empathic powers. You could winnow and perform small tricks, but nothing to the scale of reassembling thousands of window fragments back into place.

Could Eris fix it? The brief question flickered through your mind before you shook it away. You started to make your way across the room, but a tiny shard of glass embedded itself in your foot, the pain causing you to stumble. It was the last straw, the last thing to send you over the edge. Before you knew it, you found yourself on the floor, paralyzed with fear and pain. The crack of thunder came in from the distance, but it was louder without the window. It roared inside, ricocheting off the walls, stuck in the living room torturing you.

The sound suffocated you, wrapping around your throat and making breathing a luxury you didn’t have coin for. The room was getting smaller and it was filled with the sound of the thunder and your heart beating and by the mother you were surely dying.

You were cold and wet, feeling oh so small and alone in the townhouse.

You were cold that night, too. Shivering for hours in the mountains before Tamlin had found you. Was the Mother finally here to collect the one that had escaped death?

You were spiraling into the past, unable to move or bring yourself to the present. You were convinced you could smell the scent of night jasmine if you focused hard enough. Eyes clamped shut, the roaring rain unforgiving on your hearing.

And then it smelled like smoke. Not a subtle scent, but strong and overbearing, enough to pull you from the huddled position you had been in. His warm body surrounded you, arms circling you, desperately hoisting you in the air, pulling you up with them.

That scent clung to you at all hours, a light layer of reminder of what you had been trying to leave behind.

“I’ve got you.” He whispered, more to himself. He cradled your head in his hand, pulling you to his chest. His heart rate was pulsing, the normal rhythm forgotten, replaced by some fast, erratic melody you didn’t recognize.

He pulled you away from the scene before pulling your face away, gently cradling your jaw. His pupils were blown, amber burnt out by the all consuming black that made him look more creature than male. He angled your face multiple ways before his hands slid down your arms, a slow slide of touch before they rested at his side.

Eris was silent as he looked at you, his shoulders rising and falling more slowly with each breath. The rain had soaked him, his short hair dampened by the rain, dripping onto his white tunic. The usually loose fabric now clung to his skin, some of his freckles visible through the wet cloth.

“What are you doing here?”

Eris rubbed at his chest, soothing some invisible ache. He didn’t answer, only stared at you in silence. His face was hard set, all sharp lines and angles ready to cut whoever dared come near.

“Eris, why are you here?” You repeated yourself as rain pelted in through the window, covering the right side of your body. Your nightgown was sticking to you, the robe on top of it doing little to shield you now. You didn’t notice any of it, your full attention on the male in front of you.

Eris waved his hands, a flourish as the tree limb in your living room burnt to ash. You expected the space it had occupied to flood with water, but only steam billowed in the air to reveal a fixed window. The phrase show off prattled around inside you, but the shock hadn’t quite worn off enough for you to say anything else.

“I thought you were dying.” His voice was so small in the now too quiet townhouse. Water dripped onto the floor, creating a puddle on top of the gorgeous hardwood. He looked nothing like the proud, snide Eris you knew - he looked like a boy.

“My chest was being ripped apart, shredded from the inside out. I had to- to come, to see you, to find you and whatever was harming my mate.”

Only now did you realize he was half-dressed: a loose, billowy shirt covered only some of his chest, the strings half-done to uncover part of his chest. He wore trousers but no shoes. He must have rushed over here while he was undressing.

That realization helped you crawl out of the panic stricken state you were in, slowly coming back to the surface.

“And you found a tree.”

You expected him to laugh at how something as simple as a tree could leave you immobilized. But the taunt never came. He looked just as serious as if he had discovered an attempted assassin, not bringing any levity to the situation.

“I found my mate in distress.”

He was trembling in front of you, a slight shake in his hands as he focused on you. You attempted a scowl, your face not quite making the right shape, looking more akin to discomfort.

“Tell me to leave and I will, but it has been months since I’ve laid my eyes on you and I will take every second I can linger.”

Your head wanted him gone, wanted nothing to do with him after he had left you so abruptly and then stood you up. Your mouth couldn’t even form the words, forgetting the shape to make the sounds required, as if the word had vanquished from your vocabulary.

“Why didn’t you come?” The question that had been haunting you for months now slipped out so casually, like asking for the weather or how one’s day has gone.

You couldn’t peel your eyes from Eris, watching every blink, every breath he took, searching for answers in every inch of his physical being.

All you found was the loneliness of the past few weeks reflected back at you in some odd mirror.

“I am not easy,” he croaked, his body tense and rigid.

“I don’t think anyone has ever implied you were.”

“My father-“ Eris swallowed harshly, his throat bobbing with the action. His fist clenched to the side, another crack in the careful facade. “He is not kind nor fair. He is what he thinks is fair.”

“And what do you think he is?”

A story was coming to life through his actions, but it was fuzzy and not all there. What you could see, though, was enough to make your stomach clench.

“An awful fae.”

You were circling each other, orbiting around each other, never quite getting sucked into the other’s gravitational pull. Eris’s admission lingered in the air, his tone begging not to linger on the topic.

Beron Vanserra was not a male you enjoyed seeing. He wasn’t a male you enjoyed knowing was alive, albeit hundreds and hundreds of miles away.

Some understanding clicked in your mind - somehow, Beron had stopped him from seeing you.

“Does he know about us?”

“No.”

Months of sneaking around with Eris, months of fast sex and dirty words. You thought you knew all of Eris, already quite familiar with the shape of his tongue, the curve of his cock.

And only once had he removed his shirt. You had thought the markings on his back were indentations you had left behind from an overly eager romp.

Oh how he had concealed his greatest shame from you, the most private part of himself.

But he had shown you. You just didn’t have the eyes to see it.

Old scars had lingered behind the fresh markings of your pleasure. You were a fool to not have realized until now. Bile rose in your throat as a rush of adrenaline came over you. You swallowed the bile and the territorialism down, leaving Beron for another day. Eris had given you more than he ever had before, but you needed more from him.

“Why’d you go?” Your voice came out scratchy, as if your throat were trying to keep the words inside, spare yourself from the pain of knowing the answer.

“I-“ Eris’s footsteps stopped, his body turned to face yours straight on. “You are my mate.”

His words weren’t sinking in, the fact on his lips not matching the ferocity of his gaze. “This is far from news to me.”

His head shook slightly, red, wet hair falling briefly into his eyes. He looked so pained, so full of a hope that he doesn’t expect to live up to.

“You are my mate.” The words held more conviction, as if that fact was all that kept him grounded to this world, the only thing keeping him standing upright.

“I’m your mate.”

“The Mother made me for you. I was too blind by my own fury to realize that until…”

You stared up at him, the words stalling on your lips. You had no idea what to say, how to vocalize the complexities of your emotions.

“I think of you. At all hours I find myself pondering everything about you. The things I know, what I don’t know. I-“

“What do you think you know about me?”

“I know that my lips feel empty when yours aren’t upon them. I know that your back aches from the loss of your wings every morning. My soul knows yours, my heart beating in a rhythmic prose that calls for your attention.”

His hands were warm as he cradled your face. He looked like he was trying to memorize every inch of your face, cementing this moment forever.

“Please answer my heart’s call. I have never known softness, but I know you now. I can’t make great promises - my father holds an iron will over my life. I am not easy, none of this will be easy, but I am yours.”

All the nerves that had held you hostage these past few weeks, the anxieties that plagued you in the middle of the night, were all carried off with Eris’s confession. You felt light, like every moment of your life had clicked into place to be here. Everything prepared you for the male before you.

“I am not kind nor am I gentle. I am feral. I’m not whole without you. But what we could be together-“ he swallowed back emotion, his forehead pressing against yours, needing the support to continue speaking.

“I always thought I was destined to make some poor female miserable for the unfortunate mistake of being born into whatever family my father approved of. But now I know I would rather spend the rest of my days rotting from my own loneliness than indulge the notion of anyone but you being at my side.”

“And what would I be at your side?”

“Lady of Autumn. My mate. My equal.”

You knew the odds of a political match were possible, even after your father’s death. Rhysand wouldn’t demand it of you, but he would ask the question. You never knew how you would answer.

The moment stretched on, a world of possibilities behind your eyes.

The middle child. Loved, but not the next heir, nor the baby of the family. For years now, you had been telling yourself you were equal to Rhysand, his power the only divide.

But you had known that wasn’t true. To him and the people of the Night Court, you would always be the one who lived. The baby bird without wings, unsure of her own feet.

Eris was just as resolute before you as he had been that night. The pain was blinding, nothing making sense, but Eris kept repeating something over and over into your ear.

You do not end here.

It wasn’t until now that you realized that Eris had never looked at you with pity. All these years, all the loss and heartache. It took Cassian two years before he could look at you without his eyes instinctively looking to your back.

The people who loved you most in this world were gone. Or maybe you were gone to them. Maybe both were true.

You would never have wings again, never get to feel the air beneath them as you glided across an air current. Maybe the next phase of your life was meant to be on the ground, standing on sturdy, solid, rich soil that was full of life and growth and love. The pain of the past month had crept back up, bile in the back of your throat.

“Swear it now. Swear to me that you will never disappear on me again. You weren’t there, and I-“ you weren’t ready to bare your soul to him, to show him how much his disappearance had really affected you. “Swear that you will do whatever it takes to come back to me when I call, that you will not just abandon me.”

“The very depths of my soul yearn for you. Every fiber of my body, every beat of my heart is incomplete without yours harmonizing with it. I will do whatever it takes to make my way back to you. I promise.”

You slowly undid the knot of your robe, keeping eye contact as you let the fabric fall from your shoulders. Eris shuddered, hands flexing at his side as he kept his eyes on your face.

Fingers curled around the strap of your nightgown, slowly sliding each one across your shoulder until it fell in a puddle of silk at your feet. The male before you didn’t blink, didn’t move, only watched.

“If you’re mine, it’s only fair if I’m yours too.” Even without the bond, you would have felt the surge of adoration that flowed through his veins at the admission. “I’m not fragile, I won’t yield, I won’t break. I am not a doll and I won’t be one. If you want me, I am your partner above all else.”

You stepped toward him, your breasts almost touching him. The bond was vibrating with excitement inside of you, something warm that reached your cold toes.

“We are in this together.” It was all you needed before your hand slowly crept up to his face, the magnetism of the bond in your chests pulling you toward him. You cradled his jaw, preening as he leaned into your touch.

“My mate.” A whisper from his thoughts and your lips, so much emotion in those two words. You balanced on raised toes as he leaned down, lips finding each other in the middle.

It felt like coming home after a long day, slowly moving through the house you knew every part of it and finding something new to appreciate at every turn. Warm and inviting, he tasted like cinnamon and fresh bread, some Autumn dessert no doubt.

Heat radiated off of him, surely turning the water on him into steam. Your arms wrapped around his neck, the space between feeling insurmountable. His hands cradled your back, softly laying right over your scars. Aware, but not timid. Your naked body was pressed to his clothed one, letting his tongue roam in your mouth.

Hours must have passed by the time you reached out, tugging at his shirt for him to remove it. A joke could have been made, some lighthearted comment about being bare before him while he was still dressed, but it felt wrong.

This moment required no levity, no words. You felt comfortable and safe and warm, just wanting to ride out the moment.

The two of you broke apart so he could pull his shirt over his head, his trousers being discarded along with it. Two souls bared before each other. It wasn’t your first time, especially not with him, but everything felt new.

He was beautiful in the lowlight, the rain sounds echoing the thundering of your heart. This time his gaze roamed your body, appreciating every curve and dimple.

Before it was all teeth and gnawing, scratching an itch. Rushed, uncaring, so long as you both got an end. Repressed and frantic, afraid to be caught by your own feelings.

That was then and the two of you lived in the now where you were now one entity, no clear edges to either of you. The bond was flowing between you, two souls connected in every look and every movement.

Two sets of eyes held onto each other, hardly blinking, both of them wanting to remember every thrust, every moment, every sense of pleasure.

Every emotion flowed through the golden bond between them, ebbing and flowing with every heartbeat. Each touch was decadent, each movement slow and languid, allowing time to pass without a care in the world.

The rug that had been littered with shattered glass was beneath your bodies, cushioning you in this new experience of savoring the other.

Neither of you looked away, your eyes only closing when you were kissing. A tenderness and level of devotion neither had known before. Nothing would hold a candle to this. No one would ever pull this emotion from either of them, no one would ever be exactly what the other needed when they needed it.

Perhaps no one else had ever felt this way before. So full of possibility and wanting and needing this new life to start now. So sure it was right, every touch and squeeze and stroke further proof of the Mother’s love.

When Eris felt himself get closer to that precipice, he cradled your face so softly, a tenderness he had never known. He watched pleasure through your eyes, his own face reflected back to him. Maybe the sight spurred him on, the love in your eyes so clear as he thrusted in and out.

“Mate.” The word slipped from his lips as everything he kept inside, his seed, his love, every emotion he kept hidden tight within him. It all spilled out, unable to keep it to himself.

“My mate.” The words were like a mantra, as if repeating them cemented them, made them more real.

But the words were real. This was real.

The male had never thought it possible. Thought his soul too rotten, too foregone to have a mate. To have someone tethered to him for the rest of his cursed existence.

He fought it. He didn’t want it. Didn’t want to watch as he corrupted and destroyed his mate.

But you were more than some delicate thing he could break. You weren’t a thing to break at all. Every piece of you was aligned perfectly with him, every shape and crevice molded for the other to hold for all eternity.

Despite it all, despite the atrocities he’s witnessed, despite the terrible things he’s had to do to survive, despite the person he had to become, Eris Vanserra had found something to live for.

Banner by @tsunami-of-tears

Permanent taglist: @vanilla-seabass @cyrygher @lees-chaotic-brain @topaz125 @chessebookgirl @fides25 @lady-of-tearshed @ashbatz @fxckmiup @lilah-asteria @justvibbinghere @daughterofthemoons-stuff @mybestfriendmademe @heartless-tate @tsunami-of-tears @idrkwhatthisisimsorry @olive-main @azrielsmate3 @pit-and-the-pen @durgenyx @dee-writes-angst @chairofchaos @thelov3lybookworm @throneofsmut @kennedy-brooke @prythianpages @itsswritten @acotarxreader @milswrites @the-golden-jhope @hannzoaks @secretlyhers @tothestarsandwhateverend @sarawritestories @chxosangxl @quiet-loser @thegreyjoyed @paankhaleyaaar @acoazlove

Eris taglist: @magicstrengthandcourage @book-obsessed124

Gingerfucker taglist: @bookwormysblog @talesofadragon @saltedcoffeescotch

Author’s note: eeeeee you guys LOVED the first part and I’m SO excited to finally get this second part out. Mwah 😘

i want your things in my room

azriel x roommate!reader

summary: azriel is your roommate and one of your best friends. it's normal to have a crush on and have horny thoughts about your best friend every once in a while...right?

warnings: mutual pining, idiots in love!!!!!, angst, alcohol consumption, masturbation (m), dom/sub dynamic, oral (f receiving), fingering, overstimulation, so much dirty talk from az, slight degradation kink, praise kink, sir kink, semi-unprotected (?) rough piv, slight breeding kink, choking/breath play, size kink/big dick azriel as usual, dacryphilia, probably some things i missed idk

word count: 8.2k

a/n: based off of this ask!!!! don't ask how i wrote this so quickly idk what took over me

“Are you ever going to admit that you want to fuck Azriel?” a low, unamused voice murmurs in your ear as you feel the couch cushion behind your back dip slightly with the weight of their elbows. 

You whip your head around at an impressive speed, coming face-to-face with your best friend and neighbor, Nesta, who is smirking at you as she extends a plastic cup filled with a mystery concoction of alcohol towards you. 

She’d caught you staring at your roommate from across the living room, ignoring the rest of the people bustling around you to essentially undress him with your eyes. Well, it didn’t take too much to undress him with your eyes, considering he’s wearing a pair of black jeans and a fully open button-down short sleeve shirt, accenting the gold chain dangling around his neck and the swirling tattoos over his bare chest and arms. It’s not your fault that he’s attractive and nearly shirtless, it’s just distracting. 

“I will never admit such a thing, because it’s not true.” you retort matter-of-factly as you pluck the cup from her hand with an incredulous glare. 

“Oh, sure.” Nesta hums unconvincingly before rounding the couch to stand in front of you, holding a hand out to you to help you stand. “Let’s go, the boys want to play beer pong.”

A groan falls from your lips as you stand, letting her pull you across the room to the corner where Cassian had set up a folding table and ten cups on each side. Azriel and Cassian are standing on either side of the table, practicing tosses while poking fun at each other. 

Cassian is the first to notice you and his girlfriend walk over, a wide, drunken grin spreading over his face as he sets the ping pong ball down to pull Nesta in for an embrace. As he does, Nesta grumbles something about how she just saw him ten minutes ago and that he’s so clingy when he’s drunk, but there’s nothing but love behind her eyes as she jokes with him. 

Oh, how you wish you had someone to look at you like that.

 An arm slings around your shoulder as you stare longingly at the couple, breaking you from your desperate trance. You look over to see your roommate tugging you close, a half-smirk on his lips as he stares down at you. 

“They’re adorable, aren’t they?” you say to him before looking back to Nesta and Cassian, who are giggling to themselves in between kisses, in their own little world. “I’m so happy Nes finally found someone who actually makes her happy.”

“Oh yeah, they’re disgustingly adorable.” Azriel replies, a slight cringe playing on his face as his eyes flicker to the couple as his hand falls to the small of your back to guide you to your side of the pong table. 

“What? Not the affectionate type, Azzy?” you tease, a twinkle in your eyes as you try to hide the disappointment at his disgust in the public affection, though you’re not sure why you’re disappointed considering you’ll never be on the receiving end of his romantic affection.

“I don’t know, not really.” he hums thoughtfully, arranging the cups to his liking as he avoids your gaze. 

“You wanna know what I think?” you question, bringing your drink to your lips to take one long gulp. The two drinks you’d had prior to standing up are finally catching up to you now, leaving you with more courage and a warmer chest than you had five minutes ago.

“Pretty sure you’re gonna tell me what you think regardless of if I want you to or not, sweetheart.” Azriel teases, looking down at you as you take a step towards him, a smirk plastered on your face.

“I th–think that you just haven’t found the right girl to make you want to publicly display affection.” you say confidently, chin raised high to lock eyes with him. “I think you just need to find the perfect girl that you’ll want to claim as yours and scream it from the rooftops.” 

The two of you have a momentary staring contest as you search his eyes for any sign that you’re right, but finding none. Azriel opens his mouth to give you a smart retort, but before he can speak, someone backs into you and makes you lose your footing. You stumble forward, your chest falling flush with his bare abdomen as his hands reach for your waist to keep you from falling. He looks down at you then, eyes glued on your breasts as they threaten to spill from your top as you wrap your arms around him. 

All he can think about as he watches you scramble in his arms is how much he wants to say fuck it to this party and take you back to his room to see what those perfect tits look like in his–

A giggle falls from your lips, interrupting Azriel’s lewd thoughts when you finally stand up straight and take a step back when he lets you out of his arms. Your cheeks are flushed when you pull away, as if you’re just as flustered as he is about the interaction. 

“S–Sorry about that.” you laugh nervously, turning to look over your shoulder to make sure nobody else is going to knock you over. 

“It’s alright, sweetheart.” Azriel chuckles dryly, moving to stand halfway behind you in order to prevent you from being knocked over again. 

“Are you two done being idiots for long enough for us to play or not?” Nesta calls over the table, raising her brows at you, which makes you roll your eyes at her as you nod. 

To any outsiders, the game of beer pong definitely looks like it’s being played by two love-sick males and the females that they’ll never get enough of. Nobody would guess that the “couple” being exceedingly touchy and overly-affectionate was the pair who just discussed his hatred of public affection, especially by the fact that he can’t keep his hand off your back, and how it keeps almost falling to your ass every time you jump with happiness when you make a cup. 

To anyone watching, it’s extremely obvious that Azriel is so infatuated with you that it’s almost ridiculous. To you, it’s anything but obvious as you tell yourself with every touch that he’s just your roommate and he’d never look at you that way. 

________________________________

Azriel can’t sleep.

Usually after a party at the apartment, he’s out as soon as his head hits the pillow, but not tonight. 

He’s plagued by thoughts of you, thoughts he probably should not be having about his roommate. 

The two of you have always denied any feelings for each other in front of your friends, but there’s no denying how you run through his mind every night. 

“We’ve just grown very close since living together, we’re best friends.” you’d said one night when your friends asked, as you were clinging onto Azriel’s arm on the couch drunkenly, “and best friends can flirt with each other and shouldn’t get any shit for it. Sometimes it just happens, alright?”

His mind races as he stares at the ceiling, unable to focus on anything but you, thoughts of you racing through his mind at breakneck speeds. 

Thoughts of you underneath him, your breathy moans ringing in his ears as he thrusts into you mercilessly. Thoughts of tears streaming down your cheeks while you choke on his cock as he fists your hair, fucking your face while cooing to you about how you’re such a good little slut. Thoughts of bending you over the kitchen counter to take you from behind, one hand wrapped around your throat and the other over your mouth to muffle your cries.

Fuck.

He should not be fisting his cock to the thought of you, especially with you sleeping one room over, but he can’t help himself. 

Ever since you moved in with him after you switched apartments with Cassian to escape the nightly fuck fest from Nesta and Cassian, Azriel hasn’t been able to keep you out of his late night thoughts. He knows it’s wrong, knows that imagining you riding his cock as he pumps his spit-slick length is fucked up, but you’re stuck on his brain. 

Tonight specifically, he does not give a fuck. He’s too horny for his own good, especially after seeing directly down your shirt when you fell into his arms. So, he continues to stroke himself, breathy grunts falling from his lips as his imagination runs wild. 

Azriel typically isn’t one to cum too quickly, but things have been different since you’d moved into the apartment. At first he’d told himself that he wasn’t having girls over so you wouldn’t have to listen to that, but deep down he knows that’s not the true reason. He’s utterly touch-starved and desperate for you only, so it only takes a few pumps with images of you flashing in his mind for him to finish into his fist, chest heaving and heart thumping against his ribs. 

It’s fine, it’s totally okay that he just came in less than five minutes to the thought of you riding his cock. 

Best friends do that sometimes…right?

________________________________

“So have you guys fucked yet?” Elain asks as she plops down on the couch next to you, making you nearly choke on your wine. 

It was your turn to host so-called “girl’s night” that Feyre and Mor insist on having every month, so you’re sitting in your living room with all three of the Archeron sisters, along with Mor and Amren, drinking wine and chatting about nothing in particular. 

You turn to look at the quietest Archeron sister, eyes wide in disbelief at her question. 

“I’m sorry?” you question, raising a brow at her as she smiles innocently at you.

“You and Az,” she clarifies nonchalantly, pouring herself another glass of white wine as she speaks, “have you guys finally gotten over yourselves and decided to confess your feelings and fuck?”

Elain is the last person in the room that you’d expect a question like that from, especially considering she’s the only one in the room with a history with your roommate. The two of them hooked up for a month or two last year, right before she met the love of her life, Lucien. There were no hard feelings between the two of them, but it was still an unexpected question coming from her. 

“Okay, you’re the second sister who’s asked me almost the same exact question about Az this week.” you say with narrowed eyes, shooting both Elain and Nesta glares as they smirk at you. “There’s nothing going on between us and there never will be. End of story.”

Your voice is firm, but that doesn’t stop the strange feeling that spreads across your chest as you speak. 

“Oh come on!” Mor calls out, shaking her head at you. “You can’t look me in the eyes and tell me that you feel nothing for him at all. I see the way the two of you look at each other and how you shamelessly flirt all the damn time.” 

“I don’t feel anything for him, I swear.” you retort quickly, trying to push your feelings down as they threaten to bubble over. “Even if I did feel anything for him, he doesn’t feel anything for me, so it doesn’t matter.”

Silence falls over the room as everyone exchanges knowing glances, making you groan as you feel out of the loop. 

“Why are you all looking at each other like that?” you huff, a frown pulling your lips down as you take another sip of your wine. 

“You really think that Azriel doesn't have feelings for you?” Feyre questions, making your frown deepen as you shake your head again. 

“You’re surely blind then, girl.” Amren calls out casually, shaking her head at you with slight disappointment. “That male is in love with you.”

“N–No he is not!” you nearly shriek, cheeks flushing at her words. “He is not in love with me! Like I’ve said before, we’re best friends, that’s all.”

Unconvinced murmurs spread through the room as you speak, making you laugh nervously. 

“Can we just–just drop it? I don’t wanna talk about Az anymore.” you ask finally, reaching for the remote on the coffee table, “We’re supposed to be watching that stupid dating show and taking shots every time someone cries for no good reason, so let’s do that instead.”

Nobody argues with you as you fumble with the remote, but exchange more knowing glances before continuing the night without another word about your roommate.

After four episodes of the cheesy dating show Mor had picked out to make fun of, everyone decides to call it a night, leaving you alone in the silence of your apartment. You know Azriel will be home from Cassian’s apartment soon, so you make quick work of cleaning up the living room so you can sneak into your room before he arrives. 

Unfortunately, the door to the apartment swings open and closed as you’re putting the last wine glass into the dishwasher. You look up to see a very annoyed Azriel standing in the middle of the living room, running his fingers through his hair as he sighs loudly. 

“Hey,” you say softly, frowning as you take in the exasperated expression on his face. “Are you alright?”

The harsh lines on his face soften slightly when he looks up at you, a frown mirroring your own replacing the scowl that he had before.

“Yeah–Yeah, I’m fine.” he replies, shaking his head quickly. “Cass and Nes just need to keep their noses out of my business is all.” 

“Oh? Are they very invested in your sex life too?” you say, forcing a teasing smile on your face. 

“Yes, it’s fucking annoying.” he groans while striding into the kitchen to rummage through the fridge, “I’m sure they say the same shit to you, I’m tired of them trying to push this fucking ridiculous idea of me asking you out. It’s getting old, they should know that’s never happening.” 

Fuck. 

Your smile falters for a millisecond before you let out a forced laugh, shaking your head as you ignore the way your heart sinks at his words. You knew he wasn’t interested, but he seems absolutely repulsed by the idea of asking you out. 

Is the idea of being in a relationship with you that disgusting?

“Yeah–That will definitely never happen.” you reply, your voice sounding a lot sadder than you’d planned. You point your gaze to your phone in your hand, pretending to check the time as you blink back a tear that threatened to spill at his reaction before taking a step towards your room. “I’m gonna go to bed. Goodnight Az,” you say without looking up at the male once. 

You close the bedroom door behind you and throw yourself on your bed without a second thought, letting your tears finally spill down your cheeks as you tug the comforter over your body. 

If you weren’t thinking about finally letting your little crush on your roommate go before, you definitely are now.

________________________________

The environment in your apartment flips on its head after that night, mainly because you forced it to change. While laying in bed crying yourself to sleep after hearing his disgust, you’d decided that you wouldn’t allow yourself to get caught up on Azriel anymore, that you wouldn’t let yourself flirt with him constantly or even let yourself touch him because it would only complicate things more. 

So you’ve been keeping to yourself, not spending any time in the shared spaces of the apartment, and avoiding him unless absolutely necessary. 

Azriel always seems halfway offended when you shy away from his touch now, something like hurt swimming in his eyes when you don’t feed into his flirtation, but that’s not something you should worry about anymore, so you don’t let yourself think about it. 

Everyone around you is extremely worried about your well-being, as you haven’t shown interest in going to parties or dinner or doing anything with the group in the last few weeks. Little do they know, you’ve been avoiding them for two reasons; because you don’t want anyone to ask about Azriel again and because you don’t want to put yourself in the predicament of getting drunk enough to flirt with him again. 

Unfortunately for you, Nesta dragged you across the hall to their apartment tonight, insisting that you come spend some time with everyone instead of holing up in your bedroom like you have been every night. You let her drag you over to their apartment, mainly because your hurt has fizzled into anger now, so you’re okay with getting tipsy tonight to dull the sizzling irritation. 

After three too many seltzers and a few slices of pizza, you’re feeling less annoyed by your roommate’s presence. You’re sitting on one of the couches in Nesta’s apartment with the Archeron sisters and Lucien, giggling about anything and everything with the females while Lucien busies himself on his phone and massaging Elain’s scalp as she lays against his chest. Cassian and Azriel are on the adjacent couch, while Rhys, Mor and Amren are carrying on at the kitchen island in a heated argument about nothing in particular. 

“So, Y/N.” Feyre starts after taking a long sip of her white wine. “What have you been up to? It feels like we haven’t seen you in weeks.” 

“Oh, don’t even start with her.” Nesta groans, shooting a glare in your direction, “she won’t even tell me, her girl best friend, what’s been up her ass lately.” 

“I’ve told you a thousand times, Nes, I’m fine! I’ve just–just been trying to expand my horizons lately,” you say halfheartedly, slightly cowering under your best friend’s glare. “Just been trying new things, I even went on a date last night.”

“What?” all three sisters say in unison, eyes wide as they stare at you sitting between them.

“With who?” Feyre questions, and you realize that all other conversation in the room has stopped and all eyes are on you now. 

“It’s not that big of a deal, guys–”

“With who?” Nesta repeats, silver eyes narrowed as she stares you down. 

“E–Eris Vanserra.” you murmur, only loud enough for the sisters to hear clearly, a blush spreading across your face as you speak. 

“Did you just say Eris Vanserra?” Cassian questions from the other couch, staring at you expectantly. 

You can feel Azriel’s eyes boring holes into you from next to Cassian with his gaze, which makes sense considering you went on a date with a male that he’s hated for years. Little do they know, you two had a great time but decided it would just be a one-time thing due to some differences in relationship expectations, so things ended swiftly after you hooked up. 

“I did,” you say with a smirk, finally sliding your gaze to Azriel for just a moment, who seems extremely annoyed by your revelation, “Seems like going on a date with me isn’t a fucking ridiculous and repulsive idea to every male out there.” You turn back to the sisters, trying your hardest to avoid seeing how Azriel reacts to your snide remark, opting to describe the date in detail for the girls instead of looking at him. 

You successfully avoid any interaction with Azriel throughout the rest of the evening, though you feel his gaze on you multiple times. Eventually, the night dies down and you decide to head back to your apartment, in desperate need of some good rest. You hug your friends and promise you won’t disappear for so long anymore, knowing that Nesta will drag you out of your bedroom by the hair if you even try. 

You finally make it to your bed a little after midnight, cozying into the covers as you try to ignore the gnawing feeling in your chest that feels a little too similar to yearning for your comfort as you attempt to fall asleep.

________________________________

Azriel can’t sleep. Again.

And it’s because of you. Again. 

He’s not plagued with horny thoughts about you this time, but he truthfully wishes he was. It would be better than whatever this feeling was that was overtaking his chest. Every time he thinks back to the look on your face after your remark about going on a date with you being a fucking ridiculous and repulsive idea, his heart threatens to squeeze itself to death in his chest.  He can’t shake the image of your pain-filled eyes, can’t shake the thought of how you’ve avoided him at all costs since he made that remark all those weeks ago.

He knows he fucked up, knows he hurt you in a way that he’s unsure how to fix right now, but he knows that he has to win your trust back somehow.

________________________________

A week later, Azriel is leaning over the kitchen counter, eating a bowl of cereal at 10pm when he hears the apartment door slam shut, followed by a sniffle and a stifled sob. 

Before he can stand up straight, you round the corner to the kitchen a small gasp falling from your lips when you see him standing there, fucking shirtless and too sexy, like he’s mocking you for another failed date. 

“S–Sorry, I didn’t hear you in here.” you say when you look up at him. 

“It’s fine, I didn’t mean to scare you.” he chuckles dryly, taking you in as you stand frozen in front of him. You’re wearing a satin emerald green cocktail dress that hugs your curves in the best way possible and black heels that make your legs look like they go on for days, your hair is mussed now, but he can tell that it was perfectly curled and styled before you left, along with your smudged mascara and worn-off lipstick. Your eyes are puffy and bloodshot, the remnants of tears pricking the corners of them as you try to blink them away. “Are–Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’ll be alright.” you say, finally brushing past him to grab a glass from the cabinet before filling it with water. “Just another shitty date.”

“With Eris?” he questions angrily, shaking his head. “I swear, I’ll kick his ass–”

“No–Not with Eris. We broke things off after that first date.” you say with a humorless laugh before taking a sip of water, “It was some other guy that I thought would be nice, but he tried to fuck me before taking me out and got really–really fucking rude after I told him no, so I left. I hate stupid, one-and-done hookups like that.” you sigh before muttering under your breath, “Guess finding a nice guy who wants to actually go on a date with me without me putting out is a ridiculous idea.”

“Well, they’re all fucking stupid if they say they don’t want to date you.” Azriel mutters, rolling his eyes at the thought of someone turning you down when you went out looking like that. “Can’t believe some stupid fucker would see you turn up to his place looking like that and decide that he doesn’t want to show you off to the world.” 

“Az–”

“I’m serious, Y/N!” he all but yells, brow furrowing as he looks you over again. “You look beautiful even after crying half your makeup off, I can’t imagine how good you looked when he first saw you.”

“You don’t have to flatter me out of pity, I know you don’t find me attractive, Az.” you deadpan, rolling your eyes at the male as he takes a step towards you.

“Who ever said I didn’t find you attractive?” he says, his voice dropping an octave as he reaches for your chin to make you look up at him. “Just because I fucked up all those weeks ago and said the idea of asking you on a date was ridiculous when I was angry and drunk doesn’t mean anything, I still find you so fucking attractive.”

“Azriel,” you warn, voice shaky as your mind races. Everything is happening so fast that you can’t truly process what he just said. “D–Don’t…”

“Don’t what, sweetheart?” he retorts, careful not to touch you anywhere else as he tries to think of how to navigate this situation, whether he should get on his knees to beg for your forgiveness or if he should just take you in his arms and kiss you until you forgive him. 

Your knees buckle at the nickname, one that you haven’t heard from him in so long. Usually, he only calls you that when you’re both tipsy and feeling extra flirtatious, but you know he’s stone-cold sober right now, making it all the more intriguing. In your mind, you’re convinced he still truly thinks the idea of going on a date with you is ridiculous, but he did just admit to finding you attractive, which makes you more turned on than it ever should. 

Oh, fuck it.

Without a second thought, you stand on your toes to lean up into him, arms wrapping around his neck to pull him down for a heated kiss. Azriel almost stumbles away when your lips press to his, but his hands fall to your waist to steady himself as you deepen the kiss. His mind is buzzing as your tongue slips out, teasing his lower lip before biting it between kisses. After a few seconds, Azriel pulls away, panting slightly as he looks down at you with wild eyes. 

“I–I, what are you doing, sweetheart?” he questions in a hushed tone. 

“I think I need you, Az.” you say desperately, a slight pout on your face as you stare up at the male. 

“But, you were just complaining about how you hate hookups.” he murmurs as you stand on your toes in an attempt to reach his lips again. 

As much as he wants to take you right here and right now, he doesn’t want it to be because of an emotional tirade on your part.

You know it’s fucked up that you’re so turned on for your roommate right now, especially after getting mad at the male who tried to fuck you earlier, but you don’t care. You don’t want anything or anyone but him right now, despite your clouded emotions and any hurt you still carry for the male in front of you. 

“Is this just a hookup to you?” you retort before shaking your head to cut him off before he can speak, “A–Actually, don’t answer that right now. I just know that I need you right now. I don’t care if you hate me or however you feel about me.” 

“Gods, I do want you.” he murmurs, pulling you up for a quick kiss. “But I need you to tell me that you want me right now.”

“I want you, Az. I need you.” you say against his lips, “I–I’m yours tonight if you’ll have me. No strings attached tonight, I just–just need you. I’ll never mention this again if you don’t want me to.”

Something snaps in Azriel then and he can’t hold back anymore. He grabs your hips then, pulling you up to sit you on top of the kitchen island with your legs wrapped around his waist. The kiss he pulls you into is desperate and hot, your tongues and teeth clashing as his hands hastily push your dress up to your waist, revealing the black lace thong underneath. His hand glides between your thighs, fingertips grazing over the lace to feel the heat already pooling at your core.

“Fuck, love.” he murmurs against your lips, “You’re so wet, aren’t you?”

“Y–Yes,” you squeak out, hips bucking involuntarily against his hand. “So–So wet for you, Az.”

“Yeah? Just for me?” he teases, a smirk growing on his face as he circles your clit through the fabric, “Want me to taste this sweet cunt and make you cum on my tongue?”

You breathe in a ragged breath at his crude words, nodding feverishly at him as your mind spins at the sudden change in his demeanor. He just chuckles then, pulling your hips to the edge of the counter while also pushing your thong to the side to give him a full view of your glistening core as he shifts to his knees. Azriel mutters something under his breath then, two fingers teasing your clit before licking a stripe up your cunt, making you gasp loudly. 

“F–Fuck!” you whine, hand falling to his head as he eats you out like a man starved with loud smacking of his lips to match. 

“You like that, baby?” he says when he pulls away momentarily, positioning your legs over his shoulders before sliding a finger into your heat. “I bet those other stupid fuckers didn’t eat you out like this, did they?”

“I–I, they never did, n–never have.” you gasp, grinding your hips against his face when he dives back in with a chuckle. 

“What a shame, a cunt this pretty deserves to be devoured at any possible time.” he murmurs against your slick skin, slipping another finger in, “Want you to cum all over my face before I even get a chance to fuck you tonight, you deserve it, love.”

“‘M already–already fucking close, f–feels so good.” you retort, tugging at his hair as he pumps three fingers into your cunt while focusing his tongue on your throbbing clit, pulling moans out of you in a way you didn’t know was possible until now. 

Azriel only hums against your clit, letting his fingers set a brutal pace inside you as he licks and sucks on your sensitive bundle of nerves. He wraps an arm around your waist then, pulling you close to him to stabilize your squirming body as he continues his assault on your core. 

“Such a good girl with such a sweet little cunt,” he praises, gazing up at you while he licks at you once more, “Can’t believe I’ve never gotten to taste you before, don’t know if I’ll be able to share after this, love. You’re making the prettiest noises for me and I don’t want anyone else to hear them.”

“Then d–don’t share, o–oh fuck!” you whimper, thighs quaking as you feel your orgasm approaching. 

“Let me claim your pussy, sweetheart. C’mon, make a mess of my tongue and fingers.” he coaxes between licks, three fingers pressing into you quickly as you cry out loudly, “That’s it, baby. Yeah, I know, I know. Let go, love.”

Your vision blacks momentarily when you reach your peak, chanting his name loudly as he fingers you through your orgasm, cooing softly while pressing kisses to your inner thighs when you finally come down from your high. 

There’s a smirk plastered on Azriel’s face when he finally rises from his knees, lips glistening with your slick while he continues to slowly pump his fingers into you. Your mouth gapes slightly when his thumb presses into your overly-sensitive clit, and you reach for his wrist to stop him as overstimulation wracks your body.

“You did so good, sweetheart.” he coos, ignoring your silent protest for him to remove his fingers as he leans down to steal your lips in a kiss. “So good for me.”

“A–Az, I–I can’t.” you whine, bucking your hips when his thumb brushes your clit again. 

“You want me to stop?” he questions, though he already knows the real answer.

“I–I want you to fuck me.” you plead, shaking your head to cut him off before he gives you a smart reply about fucking you with his fingers. “Want your cock, please.”

“How could I say no when you ask so sweetly?” he coos, finally pulling his fingers from your dripping heat to pull your body flush with his. “Let’s go to my room, yeah?”

“Yes, sir.” you say jokingly, but the nickname triggers something in Azriel as he wraps your legs around his waist to carry you to his room, a low growl ripping from his throat.

“Don’t call me that if you can’t handle what will come after.” he warns, eyes dark as he pushes through the door to his bedroom. 

“What if I can handle it, sir?” you tease, biting your lip as you look up at him with wide, doe eyes. 

“Oh, you’re in for it now, sweetheart.” he growls, tossing you into the middle of his bed, “Strip for me, baby.”

Both of you make quick work of stripping out of your clothes, desire thick in the air as you make desperate glances at each other. After tossing your underwear and dress to the side, you crawl on your hands and knees to the edge of the bed in front of him. You reach your hand out for his cock once it springs free from his boxers, ignoring the nervous feeling in your chest when you see how large he is. 

“So–So big,” you remark, eyes wide as you stare at it.

Your eyes meet his as you lean into his cock, eager to wrap your lips around the leaking, red tip, but his hand in your hair holds you back before you take it into your mouth. 

“As much as I would love to see you choke and cry with your pretty lips around my cock, we’ll save that for another time. I need to fuck you, right now.” he says in a low voice, pupils blown with lust as he tugs you up to be face-to-face with him. “Is that alright with you, sweetheart? Can I fuck you senseless with my big cock?”

“Y–Yes, sir.” you say, nodding desperately at him. 

“Good girl, now lay back on the pillows for me.” he instructs, following you onto the bed to kneel between your spread legs. 

One of his large hands rests on your inner thigh while the other grasps his thick length, tugging on it lightly as he guides himself to your entrance. There’s a beat of hesitation as he slides his tip along your dripping folds, and he looks up at you for a moment.

“I’m–I’m on the pill, and I’m clean, please–please Az. Just fuck me.” you beg, hips canting up into his to make him groan loudly. 

“I’m clean, too. You sure about this though, sweetheart?” he questions, searching your eyes for any sign of hesitation but finding none, “Because once I start, I’m not gonna be nice, and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to give up this sweet cunt, you might be mine forever once I fuck you.”

“Yes–fuck, yes. I’m all yours, sir.” you say breathlessly, a pout on your lips as you beg.

“Alright, sweetheart. Now be a good girl, stay still and take what I give you, alright?” he retorts, gripping your hip as he finally slides into you with a groan. “Fuck, that’s so good, baby.”

Your mind goes blank when he bottoms out, feeling so fucking full as his cock nudges against your cervix at the perfect angle. A strangled moan falls from your lips when he starts to move, tears pricking the corners of your eyes as pleasure nearly blinds you.

“Look at you, such a good little slut.” he teases as he picks up the pace. “Already crying for me, sweetheart? Is my cock that good?”

“Y–Yes, so fucking big, sir. F–Feel so good, so–so full.” you whine, eyes squeezing shut with tears streaming down your cheeks as he continues to pound into you. 

“That’s it, your tight cunt was made for my cock, wasn’t it?” he grunts, one hand falling from your hip to wrap around your throat experimentally, fingers splayed over the soft skin gently for now. 

Your eyes snap open at the feeling of his hand around your neck, looking at him with wide eyes as he smirks down at you mischievously. He gives your throat a squeeze then, making you moan wildly at the feeling of your breathing being constricted and relinquishing control to him. There’s a feral look in his eye at your reaction, making him chuckle while his hips connect with yours roughly.

“Ohh, look at that.” he purrs mockingly, letting his hand squeeze around your throat a little tighter now. “You like being choked don’t you?” he asks, earning a subtle nod from you, “You love it when I’m in control like this, huh? You like it when I hold you down and make you take everything I give you and take your breath away?”

“Y–Yes! Fuck, I love it so much, sir.” you reply eagerly, hips bucking up to meet his as your fingers find your clit. “I–I’m gonna cum. I’m so close, s–sir.”

“Go ahead and cum on my cock, love.” he growls, his length pumping into you relentlessly. “I’m not gonna stop until I cum deep in you, though. Gonna let you milk my cock like a good little whore and then fill you with my cum, alright?”

You can only nod, mind blank once again as your walls flutter around him while he mutters degrading yet praising things to you as he continues to bully his cock deep into you. After this second orgasm of the night, you’re on such a high that you can’t think straight anymore, only babbling nonsense falls from your lips as Azriel’s groans and the smell of your arousal fills the air.

“I’m close, sweetheart.” Azriel warns finally, pushing your own hand away from your clit to rub circles around it with the hand that’s not wrapped around your neck. “Gonna cum with me, baby?”

“Y–Yes, gonna cum on your cock, sir.” you moan, the first coherent sentence you’ve said in a few minutes, feeling that familiar coil winding in your gut once again. “C–Cum in me, please.”

That’s all the encouragement Azriel needs before he’s reaching his own high, cock fully seated in you as his hips stutter. He mutters sweet words to you under his breath as you cum with him, bodies as close together as they can be without melting into each other. 

It takes Azriel a few minutes to collect himself, panting against your skin as he finally releases you from his hold and rolls off of you. He looks to you then, seeing a blissful smile plastered on your face as your eyes are halfway closed, euphoria mixing with exhaustion as you catch your breath. 

“Hi, sweetheart. You did so good for me, such a good girl.” he mumbles to you, leaning down to kiss your forehead as you murmur to him under your breath. “Gonna go get some stuff to clean you up, alright?” 

You nod tiredly at him, watching as he slides some boxers before leaving the room. He returns only a minute later with a glass of water, a wet washcloth and a makeup remover wipe. He rummages through a dresser drawer for a sleep shirt as well, setting it next to you on the bed. Your heart flutters as he sits down on the edge of the bed, leaning over to help you sit up. 

“Drink for me, sweetheart.” he coaxes, smiling down at you while holding the cup of water to your lips. 

You almost finish the entire glass before you pull away and he sets it on the bedside table, then gets to work wiping off your thighs. He switches the washcloth out for the makeup wipe once he’s satisfied, reaching up to clean off your face. 

“I can take my makeup off, Az.” you giggle, trying to reach for the makeup wipe but he pulls it out of your reach. 

“No, no. Let me.” he insists, wiping gently at your cheeks, lips and eyes to get the remnants of your makeup that wasn’t wiped away off. 

You sit up fully after he finishes, reaching for the shirt he’d sat next to you in order to slide it over your body. He walks to the other side of the bed after that, pulling himself under the covers as you turn to look at him with wide eyes. 

“What?” he questions, brow furrowed as you stare at him with a sad look in your eyes. 

“Can–Can I stay in here with you tonight?” you ask meekly, afraid of how he might react. 

“Of course, why would I kick you out, love?” he says gently, pulling the comforter up to invite you to cuddle with him. “C’mon, sweetheart. Let’s get some rest, okay?”

You smile weakly at him before climbing up to his side, letting his arm fall around your waist as you rest your head on his chest while he presses a kiss to your forehead. You know you should be worried about what’s to come tomorrow, but in the moment, while sitting in Azriel’s warm embrace, you couldn’t care less.

________________________________

Knock, knock, knock.

Knock, knock, knock.

Knock, knock, knock.

The most peaceful sleep Azriel has had in months is interrupted by an incessant knocking on the front door of the apartment. He groans loudly before opening his eyes while rolling over, eyes falling onto your sleeping form. 

His heart skips a beat at the sight of you snuggled into his comforter, chest rising and falling steadily as you sleep peacefully in his fucking bed. Warmth fills his chest as he admires you, but is soon interrupted by another annoying knock on the front door. He leans down then, pressing a kiss to your temple that makes you giggle softly in your sleep, before sneaking out of the bed to slip a pair of sweats on to open the door. 

The front door swings open to reveal Nesta and Cassian on the other side, both with amused expressions on their faces and bags filled with food in their hands. 

“What do you guys want?” Azriel questions, narrowing his eyes on the couple. 

Nesta shoulders past him, pushing into the apartment to make her way into the kitchen to rummage through the bags of food at the kitchen island. 

“Excuse you,” Azriel scoffs, internally cringing as his mind flashes back to what he’d done on that very counter the night before. “Who said you could just barge in here like this?” 

“It’s Saturday morning, we always have breakfast with you guys and neither you or your roommate were answering your phones, so we thought we’d just come over.” Nesta says casually. “Where is Y/N anyways?” 

“Sleeping.” Azriel says too quickly, panic spreading through his chest as he watches the couple make themselves at home, knowing that you’ll likely wake up soon and have to face them as you walk out of his bedroom. “Why don’t I just let you know when she wakes up and you guys can just come back when we’re ready?” 

“Sleeping? Where?” Cassian says incredulously, glancing at Y/N’s bedroom, noting the open door and empty, perfectly made bed before realization falls over his face. “No fucking way.”

“Cassian, I swear to the fucking Gods–” 

“What? What just happened?” Nesta questions, finally looking up from the counter and to Azriel, noting his mussed hair and the ghost of a lipstick stain on the corner of his jaw. “Holy fuck. You guys finally did it.” 

“Can you both shut the fuck up?” Azriel interjects, a frown etched onto his face as he glares at the couple. “Yes, we fucked. It was a heat of the moment thing and–and we haven’t really discussed what happens next. So I’d appreciate if neither of you were here when she wakes up so I can actually say what I need to say without you two fuckers staring at me expectantly.”

“Are you finally gonna confess that you’ve been in love with her since you first met her and that you can’t stand the thought of her being with anyone else but you?” Cassian questions with a knowing smirk, earning a withering glare from Azriel. “What? Those are your drunken words, not mine!”

“I don’t know what the hell I’m going to say yet, but I know that you both need to get out of here.” he hisses, starting to usher the couple out. “Breakfast is on me today, repayment for bailing on you guys, okay? Just request me the money and get the hell out of here. You two will be the first to know about what happens, I’m sure.” 

Both Cassian and Nesta make their way out of the apartment begrudgingly, leaving Azriel alone to walk back to his bedroom. You’re still asleep when he walks in, but stir slightly when he closes the door and slides under the covers next to you. Your eyes flutter open only moments after he presses his body against yours, your brow furrows as you take in your surroundings, obviously forgetting what happened last night in your post-sleep haze. Eventually, you look over to him, an expression somewhere between a frown and a half-smile on your face.

“Good morning,” he murmurs, giving you space to sit up in the bed as you stretch your limbs and prop yourself up on your elbows. 

“Morning,” you say with a tired smile, a blush creeping up on your cheeks as you look over at him. “I–I almost forgot about last night.” 

“Yeah?” he chuckles, smiling down at you adoringly, “I definitely didn’t.”

You’re silent for a moment, mind whirring as you think of what to say to him. Your chest feels like it’s going to cave in at the thought of Az wanting to continue being your fuck-buddy, knowing you wouldn’t be able to handle being sexually involved without romantic involvement with him. It would fuel your crush way too fucking much. You tell yourself that you just need to lie to his face and say that it was a mistake, that it didn’t mean anything, but he speaks before you get a chance to let your word vomit come out. 

“Okay, okay. I can see you internally freaking out already.” Azriel chuckles nervously, fully sitting up in the bed before reaching out to cup your cheek and get your attention. You look up at him and his hazel eyes are swimming with a mix of wonder and nervousness. “Let’s talk about it, okay? I, for one, had a really good time last night.”

“I–I did too.” you stammer, heart pounding against your ribs as your stomach churns. “B–But I can’t do it again.”

“And why is that?” he questions, a frown pulling his lips down. 

“Because I know you don’t want anything out of this, I–I know you wouldn’t want to be involved with me romantically and–and I can’t handle that.” you say, forcing yourself to look away from him, eyes focused on the comforter in front of you instead. 

“Fuck, sweetheart. That’s not want at all.” he starts, shaking his head rapidly. “I want to be involved with you romantically, I was drunk and upset when I said that it would be a ridiculous idea to ask you out. I only said that because I thought you didn’t want me. I didn’t know you felt the same and was trying to protect myself. But–But now that I know you feel the same and that I hurt you by saying that, I’ll work my ass off every day to prove to you that this is not some meaningless fooling around and that I need you in my life. That I need to wake up next to you every morning and that I think I might’ve been falling for you since I met you in all honesty. I need you to know that you mean so much to me and I’m not just here for some quick fuck, okay?”

“I–I,” you stammer, at a loss for words at his confession. “You better not be lying to me, Azriel. Because I think I’ve been falling for you for just as long.”

“Oh thank the fucking Gods.” he sighs, finally leaning down to pull you in for a sweet kiss. “I promise to prove to you every day that I’m not lying, that I’m in it for the long haul.”

You giggle against his lips, wrapping your arms around his neck to bring him as close to you as possible, heart filling so fucking full as his warm lips press against yours.

“Was I dreaming earlier or did I hear someone pounding on the door a little bit ago?” you question when you pull away from the very long-winded kiss.

“It was Nes and Cass coming here for Saturday breakfast, but I told them to fuck off.” Azriel replies with a chuckle.

“Do you think we should go tell them what happened?” you ask, eyes wide as you think of your friends finding out about you sleeping in Azriel’s bed without you knowing. 

“I think they’ll get the memo if we take the day to spend by ourselves, don’t you?” he retorts, peppering soft kisses down your neck.

“I definitely agree,” you giggle, leaning into his embrace, “I don’t know if I wanna leave this bed today.”

“I definitely agree.” Azriel mimics, laying down on the bed and pulling you up to straddle his waist. “I have just a few things I’d like to do instead of visiting with them.”

tags (add yourself here!!): @dreamloud4610 @angelbunny222 @Bookishbishhh @fanficscuziranout @Buckingforbuckybarnes @thefandomplace @feyretopia @mad-hatters-lover @kissesfromnovalie @mulledwinetea @saltedcoffeescotch @mrsjna @chillymountsjess @azriels-human @messageforthesmallestman @delphinefour04 @kbear8863 @secretsicanthideanymore @randomgurl2326 @shushsstuff @Caitm1 @eeniemeenie @esahintzkanen @lafawndiaries @homeslices @juliebluehufflepuff @portkeytomyworld @ashjade19 @wildfloweroutlaw @lilah-asteria @dreamsandatars24 @korebringerofded

Ending Fairy ♡ Inkigayo 250223

—  𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐅𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒

"I’ve tried to hide it, but my heart betrays me every time you’re near—I’m completely, hopelessly in love with you."

"I want to be the reason you look at your phone and smile."

"Loving you is like breathing… and I’ve been holding my breath for so long, I can’t do it any longer."

"Every time I look at you, I realise I don’t want to spend another moment of my life without you."

"I don’t know how or when it happened, but you’ve completely stolen my heart."

"I used to wonder if love was real… and then you came along and made it the only thing I believe in."

"Every part of me aches to tell you how much I love you, even if it’s terrifying."

"Loving you is both the easiest and hardest thing I’ve ever done."

"I keep pretending I’m fine, but the truth is I’m in love with you, and it scares me."

"I don’t know if you feel the same way, but I had to say it—I’m in love with you."

"The truth is, every part of me belongs to you."

"I tried to deny it, tried to push it away, but I can’t—I’m hopelessly in love with you."

"You’re my first thought every morning and my last before I sleep."

"I think about you more than I’d like to admit. I think… maybe I’m in love with you."

"There’s a quiet peace in my heart every time I think of you, and it feels like love."

"I never expected to feel this way, but here I am, confessing that I’m in love with you."

"My heart races, my hands shake, and all I want to say is ‘I love you’."

"You’re the reason I believe in love, and I don’t know how to keep that to myself any longer."

"All I know is that life feels brighter, warmer, and more alive whenever I’m with you. I think I’m in love with you."

"I’ve tried to act normal, but the truth is, you’ve captured my heart."

"I think I’ve fallen in love with you, and every day I fall a little more."

"Loving you feels as natural as breathing, and it’s taken me far too long to say it."

"You’re my heart’s greatest wish, and it’s time you knew—I’m in love with you."

"I feel a warmth in my heart every time you’re near… it’s love, isn’t it?"

"I don’t know how to say it gently, so here it is: I love you. I think I always have."

"If I don’t tell you this now, I’m afraid I never will—I’m in love with you."

"There’s no one else I think about like this, no one else I feel so deeply for. It has to be love."

"I don’t need you to say it back; I just needed you to know... I’m in love with you."

"Every moment we’re together feels like magic, and that magic is love, isn’t it?"

"I’d rather risk everything and tell you the truth—I’m in love with you."

"I was fine on my own, but now that I’ve met you, I can’t imagine a life without you."

"I’d move mountains if it meant I could tell you every day how much I love you."

"Loving you feels like the most honest thing I’ve ever done."

"The truth is, my heart has belonged to you from the very first moment we met."

"I can’t promise that I won’t be afraid, but I can promise that I love you."

"Every day without you feels like a day wasted. I’m in love with you, and I want the world to know."

"If there’s one thing I’m certain of, it’s that I love you with everything I am."

"You’ve woven yourself into my heart, and there’s no turning back—I love you."

"Loving you is like coming home to a place I never knew I missed until I met you."

"It feels like my whole life has been leading up to this moment—to tell you that I love you."

"I’m scared, I’m nervous, but more than anything, I’m in love with you."

"I didn’t know it was possible to feel so deeply until you walked into my life."

"I could search the world and never find someone who makes me feel like you do. I love you."

"I never believed in fate until I realised how perfectly you fit into my life."

"I could wait forever to say it, but I don’t want to anymore—I love you."

"Loving you feels like the answer to a question I didn’t even know I had."

"I love you, (name)."

DPR IAN: peanut butter & tears (2023)

The Secret Hwang

Hyunjin x fem!reader

Warnings: reader is pregnant

Genre: exes to lovers?? angst, fluff

Summary: Hyunjin breaks up with you after the company thinks your relationship is affecting his work. What he didn't know was that you were also gearing up to tell him something very important. But then swoops in two angels in disguise, helping you through the tough time, before it all blows over.

You’re breaking up with me?” The words left your lips before your brain could catch up.

Your heart thundered against your ribcage, like it was desperate to escape what was unfolding right then. And your boyfriend of three years, Hyunjin, looked as miserable as you felt.

Hyunjin stood in front of you, hands shoved deep into the pockets of his hoodie, shoulders sagging. He wouldn’t look at you - that was even worse.

“Yes,” he whispered, voice so low it barely registered. “I'm so sorry.”

You take a step closer, his words not making any sense.

“You have to? What the hell does that mean, Hyunjin? Did I…did I do something? Did I hurt you-?”

His head snaps up, his eyes wide and glossy, horrified at the mere suggestion.

“No! Of course not! You’ve never - God, Y/N, no. It’s -” His words faltered, and he looked away again, his hands shaking as they grip his hoodie strings. “It’s…they think it’s affecting me. My work.”

“Who? The company?”

“They said…” He swallowed hard, the words clearly tearing him apart as he forced them out. “They said if I don’t end this, they’ll fire you. They’ll make sure you never work in this industry again. And they’ll…ruin it all for you...”

You stared at him, utterly speechless. This wasn’t happening. This couldn’t be happening.

“So what? You’re just going to do what they want? Throw away three years like it means nothing?”

“It’s not like that,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. “I’m trying to protect you.”

“Protect me? By breaking me?” You laughed bitterly, even though it felt more like choking.

You knew he wanted to reach for you, to pull you close like he always did when you were upset, but he didn’t move.

“Baby, I don’t have a choice. If I don’t do this-”

You didn't stay to hear the rest. You took a step back before saying, “You’re a coward,”

Hyunjin’s head snapped up like you slapped him, but you pressed on.

“You’re letting them control you. Letting them decide what our love is worth. You’re not even fighting for me.”

Hyunjin’s face crumpled, and for a second, you thought he would reconsider. But he didn't. He just looked really sad. And lost.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I’m so sorry.”

“Goodbye, Hyunjin.”

And then you ran. You didn’t look back. You couldn't. Because if you did, you’d fall apart completely, and you just couldn’t afford that. Not with the tiny life growing inside you.

The three months that followed were hard, no doubt. But relatively less harder than you thought, considering the fact that the boys were on tour. You didn't have to see him everyday as you taught your heart to ‘unlove’ him. If such a thing could be done.

You had decided to go ahead with your pregnancy - bad call probably, because you obviously couldn't tell anyone that your baby was Hyunjin’s. Of course. So you'd have to come up with a creative lie to cover the gap - a non-existent boyfriend or a husband?

It was exhausting.

---

You stood at the kitchen counter, staring at your ultrasound scan result. The sight of your little bean on the screen earlier had brought tears to your eyes - happy bittersweet ones. But mostly, you’d felt so terribly lonely.

Moments like that were meant to be shared, weren’t they? Your heart ached so much. So damn much. You sighed as you gazed at the little form in the black and white image.

Just then, the doorbell rang. Setting the report on the counter, you get the door. What you didn't expect was Felix’s sweet smiling face. You hadn't seen him or any of the boys since the break up (they'd left for the tour), so seeing Felix, your close friend, made you freeze.

“Lix,” you said, your voice more tired than you’d like.

He immediately pulled you into a warm hug, and you had to control that strong urge to just weep.

“Hey,” he said, squeezing you tightly. “I missed you! How have you been?”

“I'm alright. You guys had a good tour I heard,” You managed, stepping aside to let him in.

“It was good,” He said with a smile, and held up a bag. “I brought you a little something from Australia.”

“Lix, you didn’t have to -”

“Oh, hush. I do it all the time.” he said. “You look... tired…you okay?”

“I’m fine,” you lied, waving him off.

“You want me to get his stuff? I have it packed and ready.” You said, wanting to get that out of the way as soon as possible.

“Yeah,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. “ Is that okay?”

Your stomach twisted unpleasantly, but you nodded and said, “Yeah, of course. Let me grab it.”

He followed you into the house, and as you went into the bedroom to get Hyunjin’s things, Felix walked into the kitchen to put the things he got for you away.

When you returned with the bag, however, you saw Felix in the kitchen, uncharacteristically quiet. You walked in and completely froze in the doorway.

Felix stood by the counter, holding your ultrasound result, and his usually bright expression was completely blank, his eyes glued black and white image.

“Lix…” you said softly, panic rising in your chest.

“Y/N,” he says, his voice eerily calm, “what is this?”

You didn’t answer, your hands trembling as you clutched the bag of Hyunjin’s things. Tears pricked your eyes, and you knew there was no use pretending or coming up with a lie.

“Please tell me this is not what I think it is.” he said, his voice wavering as he turned to face you with the paper in his hand.

Your silence spoke louder than words. Tears spilled over, and you quickly wiped at them, trying to keep it together. But it was of no use - Felix took one look at your face and let the paper fall onto the counter.

“Oh my God.” His voice cracked as he crossed the room in two giant strides, pulling you into a tight hug.

His arms wrapped around you like a safety net, holding you together.

“Y/N, please don't tell me Hyunjin knocked you up and then broke up with you. Tell me I’m hallucinating. Please.”

You laughed weakly through your tears, the absurdity of the situation hitting you all at once.

“He didn't know, Lix. He didn't know-” You whispered and Felix pulled back just enough to look at you, his hands still on your shoulders.

His mouth opened and closed a few times, like he was trying to form words but couldn't. Finally, he let out a strangled laugh.

“He doesn’t know?!” He shook his head, his freckles standing out against his flushed skin. “Are you kidding me, Y/N? You’re telling me that man broke up with you because he wanted to protect you, and the entire time, you’ve been carrying his baby?”

“I was going to tell him, Lix, I was. That's why I went to meet him, but didn't give me a chance to say anything…he just…he just broke up with me!” you cried, wiping your face. “What was I supposed to do? Tell him and ruin everything?”

“Yes!” Felix shouted, throwing his hands in the air. “Yes, sweetheart, you’re supposed to tell him! He deserves to know. This is big, like life changing big!”

You shook your head, your voice trembling as you said, “Lix, you don’t understand. This is about his career, his dreams. He’s worked so hard to get where he is, and I won’t be the reason he loses it all.”

Felix stared at you, his face a mixture of disbelief and heartbreak.

“Y/N,” he said softly. “You can’t do this alone.”

“I have to,” you whispered, looking down at the floor. “I will.”

“Yes, you do.” His voice was firm, his hands gently cupping your cheeks and tilting your face up to meet his gaze. “But don't have to. I’m here. Whatever you need, anything at all, you’ve got me. You’re not allowed to say no, okay?”

Your breath hitched, the warmth of his hands and the sincerity in his voice had you crumblung all over again. “Lix…”

“I mean it,” he said, his eyes shining with determination. “You’re not doing this alone. I don’t care what it takes. We’re going to figure this out. Together.”

You nodded, sniffling as he wiped a tear from your cheek with his thumb. “Thank you.”

Felix didn’t say anything to Hyunjin. True to his word, he kept his mouth shut, but the secret was eating him alive to say the least. The man had gone full protective mode - literally adopting you, and by extension, your unborn child, completely.

And his possessiveness manifested in the most Felix way possible: constant texting. Constant.

Also, he changed your contact name to George. Why? Because no ones gonna get suspicious about a George he's talking to 24*7, right?

---

7:32 am

Felix: Good morning, sunshine! Have you eaten yet? If not, DO IT NOW. Don’t argue with me.

Felix: I will come over if you don't obey me, George!

You: Felix, it’s 7 in the morning. I just woke up. Also, who's George?

Felix: You’re George. That’s your name now. It’s safer this way.

Felix: And don’t dodge the question: HAVE YOU EATEN???

You: I literally just rolled out of bed, Felix. Give me a second to breathe.

Felix: No time to breathe, go FEED THE BABY.

You: This baby isn’t even hungry yet. Can you chill?

Felix: Fine. But just so you know, I won't hesitate from force-feeding you myself.

---

12:45 PM

Felix: Hey, did you go to your appointment today?

You: Yes, I went.

Felix: Pics or it didn’t happen.

You: I’m not sending you pictures of me at the doctor’s office, Lix

Felix: Why not? What if I need to fight the doctor? I need evidence.

You: Why would you need to fight my doctor?

Felix: I dunno, what if they're bad at their job? I’m not taking chances, George.

You: Please stop calling me George.

Felix: It's your name.

---

7:48 PM

Felix: Are you home? Did you eat dinner? Did you lock your doors?

You: Oh my God, Felix, can you give me a second to exist without you breathing down my neck?

Felix: No. I’m invested now.

You: Why are you like this?

Felix: Because my best friend knocked you up and then left you, and now I feel morally obligated to act like your baby daddy by proxy.

You: Please don’t say that again. Ever.

Felix: Too late. Also, how’s George Jr.?

You: Felix, we are NOT naming this baby George Jr.

Felix: Why not? It’s a great name.

You: I’m blocking you.

Felix: No, you’re not.

---

Hyunjin on the other hand was completely unaware of everything that was happening around him. He was completely shut off, pouring his entire self into practice and his work outs.

He missed you. He missed you so damn much. He would randomly take a walk in the building, hoping he'd get a glimpse of you. But seriously, you were nowhere to be seen.

Hyunjin was on his way to the practice room after a particularly unsuccessful attempt to run into you, when he heard the voices. He wasn’t trying to eavesdrop, but the venom in their tone caught his attention.

It took him a minute to figure out that they were actually talking about you, and he couldn't help but feel that rage bubbling up inside him.

“She’s gained so much weight lately,” one of the girls snickered. “I mean, have you seen her?”

The other girl laughed, shaking her head. “I don’t know what happened to her. She used to be so put together, but now? She’s just… bloated and tired all the time.”

Hyunjin’s jaw clenched so hard it felt like his teeth might crack. How dare they?! He felt the overwhelming urge to whirl around and to let his emotions loose, to say something.

But of course Hyunjin couldn’t do that. Not really. He was an idol - a carefully constructed image, a brand - and he's already sacrificed way too much for the sake of it. He couldn’t afford to screw it all up now.

So instead, he swallowed his rage, shoved his hands deep into his pockets, and started walking again. And then, as if it was a cruel joke, he saw you.

You were walking down the hallway, dressed in a dark-colored sweater, your hair tied back, wisps escaping to frame your face. You looked tired, yes. But, as always, to him, you looked absolutely beautiful.

But Hyunjin couldn't help but see that something was different. His eyes lingered a little too long on the soft curve of your body. Your face seemed rounder, your stride slightly slower, more careful.

His heart ached as he watched you pause at the corner, adjusting your bag before disappearing around the corner. He missed you so much it physically hurt. Shaking his head, Hyunjin turned and walked away, trying so hard to hold it all together.

He couldn’t keep doing this to himself. He had to move on.

If only he knew that a mini Hyunjin was quite literally baking inside you, tucked away and growing strong under that sweater. If only he knew.

3:40 pm

Felix: How's the nausea?

You: I can't understand why it's called morning sickness if it's gonna last all day and trying to murder me

Felix: Don’t worry, George, I’m gonna make you the perfect meal. Zero vomit potential.

You: Omg

---

Meanwhile in Felix’s kitchen:

Felix was in deep. The counter was a disaster of herbs and half-cut veggies, and a pan bubbled ominously on the stove. His laptop sat precariously on the edge of the counter, streaming a cooking tutorial that Felix was utterly failing to keep up with.

“Chop the ginger finely,” the video said.

Felix frowned down at the mangled, uneven chunks of ginger on his cutting board.

“This is fine, right?” he mumbled to himself, throwing them into a pan.

“No, it’s not fine,” a voice said behind him, calm but dripping with judgment.

Felix jumped, yelping as he nearly knocked the pan off the stove. He whirled around to see Minho leaning casually against the doorframe, arms crossed and a single eyebrow raised.

“Hyung!” Felix squeaked, his voice an octave too high. “What are you doing here?”

“We're having dinner together. Forgot I see ?” Minho asked flatly, his sharp eyes sweeping over the culinary battlefield. He nodded at the laptop screen.

“What’s this? I thought we were ordering?”

Felix scrambled to close the YouTube video but fumbled, sending a spatula clattering to the floor.

“No! I just…uh…thought this recipe looked… yummy?”

Minho’s other eyebrow shot up as he read, “Ginger and lemon soup for nausea relief? That’s not exactly your usual vibe, Lix.”

Felix froze, his brain scrambling for an excuse. “I…uh…”

Minho tilted his head, his gaze locked on Felix. He gestured toward the mess. “Who’s it for?”

“No one!” Felix blurted out too quickly.

Minho smirked - like a cat cornering a mouse. He strolled into the kitchen, plucked up the laptop, and read the YouTube title aloud: “Pregnancy-Friendly Meals, huh?”

Felix groaned internally. He was so dead. Minho set the laptop down and turned to Felix, his face unreadable.

“You’re cooking for Y/N, aren’t you?”

“How…what…why would you -” Felix blinked at him, jaw dropping.

“I saw her going into a maternity hospital last week...and now this? It’s really sweet of you,” Minho said, his tone soft and kind, as he started clearing the counter. “She’s lucky to have a friend like you.”

Felix stared at him, absolutely flabbergasted. How did Minho know? He stayed silent, unsure if confirming or denying would make things worse.

“Relax, I’m not going to say anything. But…” His sharp eyes flicked to the pan on the stove, then back to Felix, a smirk forming on his face. “You’re doing a terrible job. Move.”

Before Felix could protest, Minho rolled up his sleeves and took over. Within minutes, the chaos Felix had created was transformed into a very professionally prepared meal.

Felix hovered awkwardly, torn between relief and panic. “You…you won’t tell anyone, right?”

Minho snorted. “Of course not. And if you’re serious about helping her, then I'll stand right by you.”

He packed up everything in containers and handed it to Felix with a raised eyebrow.

“Now go. She needs to eat.”

---

Felix was at yours in record time, and when he set the food down on the coffee table, you looked up from the couch, sighing softly.

“Did you burn the kitchen down?”

“Nope,” Felix said quickly. “Minho saved me.”

Your head snapped up, eyes wide. “What? Minho? He knows?”

Felix flopped onto the couch beside you, looking absolutely defeated.

“Yeah, apparently he’s known for a while. He saw you going into the maternity hospital one day.”

You groaned, dragging a hand over your face. “Oh my God.”

“He promised not to say anything!” Felix said defensively, holding his hands up. “And he even helped cook this. So, technically, you can’t kill me.”

You glared at him but couldn’t help the small smile tugging at your lips.

“Thanks for being here, Lix.”

Felix grinned, nudging the plate toward you. “Eat, George. Minho will haunt me if you don’t.”

You rolled your eyes but dug in, and for the first time in days, the food didn’t immediately send you running for the bathroom.

---

The next morning, you woke up to the doorbell, in the early hours. It was still dark outside, as you stumbled out of your bedroom, still half-asleep, and a scowl firmly planted on your face.

“Took you long enough,” Minho mumbled as he walked into your apartment, going straight for the kitchen. 

You were trying to understand if you were hallucinating or if Minho was actually in your kitchen. 

“Minho, what are you doing here?” You asked, trying to tame your hair. 

“Sit,” he commanded without looking up, focused on flipping something in the pan.

You frowned but obeyed, collapsing into a chair at the table. “It’s not even sunrise.”

“Just making sure you eat,” he said simply. “Lix said you're struggling,”

“You're here to cook for me?”

“Yes?”

Before you could respond, the door swung open, and Felix stepped inside, carrying what looked like a bag of groceries. He stopped short, staring at Minho with the same confusion you felt.

“What is he doing here?”

“I could ask the same about you,” Minho shot back without missing a beat, sprinkling a pinch of salt over whatever masterpiece he was working on.

Felix stormed into the kitchen, setting his bag down with an unnecessary thud. “What are you doing, hyung? And what are you even making? George doesn’t even like eggs that much!”

Minho scoffed. “It’s not for you, so why does it matter?”

“It matters because I’m supposed to be taking care of her!” Felix snapped, crossing his arms like an angry puppy.

“Clearly, you weren’t doing a great job,” Minho retorted. “I saw the mess you called cooking yesterday.”

“Oh my god,” you muttered, burying your face in your hands. “Not this.”

---

Over the next few days, it became a full-on battle between Minho and Felix. It started with each trying to one-up the other in ways that were more amusing than helpful.

One morning, Felix insisted on making pancakes, painstakingly arranging blueberries into a smiley face on each one. “See, George? They’re cute and delicious!”

Minho, unimpressed, countered by making a three-course breakfast complete with fresh juice and perfectly folded napkins. “Pregnant women need nutrients, not art projects,” he said smugly.

Felix glared at him like he wanted to fight. “Pregnant women also need to smile, and my pancakes are adorable.”

But for all their ridiculousness, their constant presence was a comfort. They kept you distracted from the gaping hole in your chest where Hyunjin’s absence had settled. But no amount of blueberry pancakes or perfectly cooked meals could fill that void.

Felix had barged into your apartment one evening with a box of cookies that he'd baked.

“George! I baked you something!”

Minho, already in the kitchen chopping vegetables, glanced over his shoulder with a look that screamed, not this again.

“What are those?” Minho asked, gesturing to Felix's box  with his knife.

“Cookies,” Felix said proudly, setting them on the table in front of you. “Pregnancy-safe, gluten-free, sugar-free, full of love.”

“Full of what?” Minho deadpanned, clearly unimpressed.

“Love!” Felix shot back, hands on his hips. “Something you wouldn’t understand, obviously.”

“Love isn’t a substitute for nutrition, Yongbok. Try again.” Minho snorted.

“Oh, here we go,” you muttered, already bracing for the impending argument as you sat at the table, nibbling cautiously on a cookie.

“You’re just jealous because George Jr. is my baby,” Felix said, crossing his arms and glaring at Minho like he’d just won the argument of the century.

Minho paused mid-chop, turned slowly to face Felix.

“George Jr.?” he asked flatly. “That’s the best you could come up with?”

“What’s wrong with George Jr.?” Felix said defensively. “It’s a strong name! Unique even!”

Minho scoffed. “Unique isn’t always a good thing, Felix. You might as well call the baby Lemon or Carrot.”

“Wow, okay,” you muttered, burying your face in your hands.

“And besides,” Minho continued, turning back to the stove like the conversation was settled, “I do the majority of the cooking, Y/N is thriving on it, so I'm the rightful Appa.”

Felix gasped like Minho had just slapped him.

“Excuse me? Cooking doesn’t make you the dad! I’m the one who gives her all the cuddles and emotional support!”

“You’re like a clingy golden retriever,” Minho shot back, not even turning around.

“Say that again, hyung, I dare -”

“Enough!” you shouted, cutting through their bickering. Both men froze, wide-eyed, and looked at you.

“I'm sure Hyunjin would probably like a say in this whole ‘who’s the dad’ debate.” you said, and the room fell silent. 

And then Minho shrugged casually.

“I mean, sure, if we’re counting his five seconds of contribution to this whole thing.”

You and Felix both turned to stare at him, your mouths dropping open in identical expressions of disbelief. It took approximately two seconds before all three of you burst out laughing.

The laughter started light, then turned uncontrollable, your giggles mixing with Felix’s loud snorts and Minho’s chuckles. You laughed so hard your sides started to hurt, but then, without warning, the giggles morphed into something else.

The tears hit you before you could stop them. One moment you were laughing, and the next, you were crying, the overwhelming mix of emotions crashing over you like a tidal wave.

Felix’s smile faltered, and he rushed to your side, wrapping an arm around you.

“George, hey, hey, it’s okay,” he said softly, his usual sunshine dimmed by concern.

Minho was there a moment later, kneeling in front of you and gently resting a hand on your knee. 

“Breathe, jagi,” he said quietly. “You’re okay. We’re here.”

You sniffled, trying to compose yourself, but the weight of everything - the pregnancy, the secret, missing Hyunjin - was too much.

“I miss him…a lot,” you managed between sobs.

“I know, I know…but we're here for you, George. You’re not alone in this, okay? We’ve got you.” Felix hugged you tighter, his voice steady but emotional.

Minho nodded as he said, “He’s right. You’re stuck with us now. You and George Jr.”

That earned a watery laugh from you, and you wiped at your eyes, looking between them. 

“I don’t deserve you two.”

“Yes, you do,” Minho said firmly.

“Absolutely,” Felix added. “And so does George Jr.”

---

Hyunjin was losing his mind.

It wasn’t just the lingering ache of your absence or the fact that he hadn’t heard your voice in what felt like forever. But it was also Felix, his best friend, his other half, his partner-in-crime. Felix was suddenly a closed book. The guy who usually shared everything, from dumb cat videos to the tiniest gossip about their members, had turned into a human vault. A sketchy human vault.

Felix was constantly disappearing. After practice, during breaks, even in the middle of game nights. When Hyunjin asked, Felix always had some vague excuse. 

“Oh, just running errands!”

“Helping out Minho-hyung with something.”

“Had to grab something for George!”

Who the hell was George? 

Hyunjin squinted every time Felix made one of these excuses. Since when was his best friend suddenly so obsessed with running errands? And why was Minho always involved?

Hyunjin didn’t like it.

At first, he chalked it up to paranoia. Maybe he was overthinking. Obviously, losing you had him extra possessive and clingy. Maybe Felix and Minho were just…hanging out more? It wasn’t a crime. But then Hyunjin started noticing things.

Felix and Minho were inseparable. They’re always whispering about God-knows-what. They’d vanish together after schedules, not even bothering to invite Hyunjin to join.

So naturally, one evening, after a particularly grueling practice session, Hyunjin cornered Felix in the locker room.

“Lix,” he said, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall like he was interrogating a criminal. “Where have you been going all the time?”

And to his credit, Felix didn’t even flinch.

“Oh, nowhere. Just hanging out with Minho-hyung. You know how it is.”

“Since when do you and Minho-hyung have this…whatever-this-is?” Hyunjin narrowed his eyes.

Felix shrugged nonchalantly, pulling his hoodie over his head and saying, “We’ve just been vibing.”

“Vibing?” Hyunjin echoed, incredulous. “You disappear every day to vibe? And what’s with all the whispering during practice?”

Felix zipped up his hoodie and slung his bag over his shoulder.

“You’re being dramatic, Hyun. It’s nothing.”

Hyunjin stared at him, trying to gauge if Felix was lying. But Felix’s face was completely blank, a perfect poker face.

“What about Y/N?” Hyunjin asked, his voice softer now, almost hesitant. “Have you…seen her?”

At that, Felix paused, just for a second, but it was enough for Hyunjin to notice.

“I'm sure she’s good, Hyun. Busy probably.” he managed, giving him a smile.

Hyunjin frowned, but before he could press further, Felix clapped him on the shoulder.

“Don’t overthink, mate. Get some rest, yeah?”

And just like that, Felix was gone, leaving Hyunjin standing in the empty locker room, more confused than ever.

---

The next day, Hyunjin had been lingering suspiciously around the studio after practice, pretending to stretch while trying (and failing) to overhear Felix and Minho’s latest hushed conversation.

Chris, so so used to all the bullshit his boys pulled on the regular, had noticed this constant whispering between Felix and Minho, and also Hyunjin’s not-so-subtle attempts to loiter. He clapped his hands loudly.

“Hyunjin, go home. You’re exhausted, mate.”

Hyunjin, startled, stammered something about finishing up but Chris gave him a hard enough glare that had him reluctantly packing up and storming off (throwing one last suspicious glance at Felix, who pretended to be engrossed in tying his shoelaces.)

Once Hyunjin was out the door, Chris turned to Felix and Minho, his arms crossed and his leader gaze set to high alert.

“Okay,” he said, his voice stern, “what’s going on with you two? You’ve been sneaking around like teenagers, and I have a bad feeling about it. Spill.”

Felix and Minho exchanged a glance, before Minho shook his head. 

“Nothing’s going on, hyung,” Minho said coolly, leaning against the wall like he wasn’t sweating internally.

Felix, on the other hand, immediately started babbling. 

“Oh, you know, just chilling and cooking and - did you know George is a big fan of pumpkin soup? I’ve been learning how to make it. Minho hyung’s been helping…he’s such a perfectionist in the kitchen, but that’s beside the point -”

But the moment ‘George’ left his mouth, Minho sighed. 

“Who the hell is George?” Chris interrupted, his sharp eyes narrowing.

Minho sighed, muttering, “Great work, Yongbok.”

Felix blinked rapidly, his face heating up. He could do anything, literally anything in the world. But that anything didn't include lying to Chris. 

“Oh, uh, George is just…you know…a friend!” 

“A friend? You’ve been disappearing every day,  and sneaking around because of a friend?”

Felix opened his mouth, probably to launch into another nonsensical explanation, but Minho cut him off.

“George is Y/N,” he said flatly, like he was tired of the charade.

Chris froze.

“What do you mean George is Y/N?” he asked, his voice rising slightly. “What the hell is going on?”

Felix started flailing, his words tripping over each other.

“It’s not like we didn’t want to tell you, hyung, but it’s complicated, and she’s been going through a lot, and she needs all the help and support with George Jr. -”

“George Jr.?!” Chris exclaimed, his voice now echoing off the walls.

Minho, as calm as ever, pointed at Felix. “You’re making it worse.”

Chris threw his hands in the air as he said, “What is George Jr.?!”

“You mean who is George Jr.? It’s the baby. She’s pregnant.” Minho sighed, rubbing his temples.

The room went silent. Chris blinked several times, his expression cycling through shock, confusion, and then something that could only be described as 'Dad Rage'.

“She’s pregnant?! SHE’S PREGNANT, AND YOU TWO KEPT THIS FROM ME?!”

Felix, now thoroughly panicking, looked at Minho like he was begging for help. Minho just shrugged.

Chris glared at both of them. “You’re taking me to her. Right now.”

---

Ten minutes later, there was a knock at your door. You waddled over and opened it to find Chris standing there, his arms crossed and his eyes full of emotion.

Before you could say a word, he pulled you into a bone-crushing hug.

“Y/N,” he said firmly, his voice laced with both worry and frustration. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Behind him, Felix stood pouting like a scolded child and Minho looked like he regretted everything.

“Chris,” you gasped, trying to pull back from his hug. “I can’t breathe!”

He released you but kept his hands on your shoulders, scanning your face like a concerned dad. “You should’ve told me. We’re family, Y/N. You thought of doing this alone? Does he know? Oh my god, he doesn't know, does he?!”

From behind him, Felix muttered, “She’s not alone. I’ve been taking care of her.”

Chris whipped around to face him.

“Oh, you’ve been taking care of her, have you?!”

Felix folded his arms, his pout deepening.

“George Jr. is mine. None of you fake dads are gonna ever-”

Minho, who’d been quiet up until now, rolled his eyes and interrupted him.

“Please. You think you’re the dad just because you baked her cookies? Please.”

Felix turned to him, affronted. “You’ve been helping me! And my baby!”

“Oh, for the love of -” Chris groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose, before glancing at you. “We're gonna get through this.”

You smiled at them, nodding. But deep inside, guilt gnawed at you. Everyone except Hyunjin seemed to be catching up. 

You'd started working from home more and more since you started your sixth month. You came over to the company only when you had something important to do. 

This afternoon was supposed to be uneventful. You had planned to drop by the company, grab a few files, and leave quickly. But apparently, fate had other plans.

You were leaving one of the offices when you heard it.

“Y/N?”

The voice was soft, almost hesitant. You froze in place, gripping the files tightly against your chest. Slowly, you turned to see Hyunjin standing a few feet away, his eyes wide as saucers, his gaze locked on you.

For a moment, neither of you spoke. His gaze flickered down to your stomach - the not-so-subtle curve of your six-month baby bump that your sweater absolutely failed to conceal under closer scrutiny.

Hyunjin’s face drained of all color.

“What…Y/N…are you…?” he stammered, his voice breaking.

You panicked, taking a step back. “Hyunjin, I -”

But he was already closing the distance between you, his voice rising into a frantic whisper.

“Are you pregnant?!”

You winced, glancing around nervously, but the hallway was thankfully empty. Still, Hyunjin’s voice, even when hushed, completely floored you.

“Hyunjin, let’s not -”

“Are you pregnant?!” he repeated, his voice breaking. His hand gestured toward your stomach, and he looked so utterly wrecked that you couldn’t bring yourself to lie.

So you nodded.

His reaction was immediate. Hyunjin stumbled backward, his eyes welling up with tears, his hands clutching his head as if trying to keep himself from falling apart.

“Oh my God,” he whispered, his voice hoarse. “Oh my God. Oh my God, it’s mine, isn’t it?”

You swallowed hard, your throat tightening at the sight of him falling apart. “Hyunjin -”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” His voice was louder now, no longer a whisper. “That’s my baby! Our baby! And you didn’t tell me?”

“Hyunjin, please,” you begged, trying to calm him, but he was a storm you couldn’t contain.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he demanded again, tears streaming down his cheeks. “I would’ve left everything for you! Don’t you know that? I would’ve -”

You shook your head fiercely, your own tears spilling over now.

“Hyunjin, I couldn't -”

“I don’t care!” he shouted, his voice cracking painfully. “None of it means anything if I don’t have you!”

Before either of you could say more, Chris appeared, obviously having heard the chaos from the other end of the hallway.

“What’s going on here?” he demanded, his eyes flickering between you and the sobbing mess that was Hyunjin.

“Hyung,” Hyunjin sobbed, clutching Chris’s arm as if it were the only thing keeping him upright. “She’s pregnant. She’s pregnant, and she didn’t tell me. That’s my baby.” His voice broke again, and he leaned heavily into Chris, tears falling freely.

Chris’s expression softened instantly, and he glanced at you as you stood rooted to your spot, tears spilling down your cheeks. 

“Hyunjin, calm down. Let’s talk about this somewhere else, okay?” He tried to guide Hyunjin back toward the practice room, but Hyunjin was not taking orders from anyone at this point.

“No,” he said, his voice trembling. “I’m not going anywhere until she tells me why she didn’t tell me.”

You stepped closer, your heart breaking as you cupped his tear-streaked cheeks with trembling hands. His skin was warm beneath your touch, his eyes red and raw as they searched yours for answers.

“Because,” you whispered, your voice cracking, “I love you. I love you too much to let you give up your dreams for me.”

Hyunjin’s tears fell harder.

“You think I’d regret it?” he choked out. “You think I’d ever regret choosing you? Choosing our baby?”

You shook your head through your tears.

“I couldn’t let you make that choice, Hyun. Not when I knew how much this means to you.”

Before he could respond, Felix and Minho arrived, their worried faces appearing at the end of the hallway. Felix took one look at the scene and immediately rushed to Hyunjin’s side, wrapping an arm around him.

“Hyunjin,” Felix said softly, his own voice shaking. “Come on, breathe.”

Minho, meanwhile, approached you, his arm going around your shoulder, and then glancing at Hyunjin.

“You’re not going to solve anything by falling apart here,” he said calmly. “Pull yourself together.”

But Hyunjin was inconsolable, his sobs growing louder.

“I didn’t know. I didn’t know. She’s been going through this alone, and I didn’t know. What kind of person does that make me?”

You stepped closer, your voice firm as you said, “Hyunjin, stop. You’re not a bad person. This isn’t your fault. If anything, it's mine. For keeping this from you.”

“I want to be there. Oh my God, I love you! Don’t shut me out again,” he whispered brokenly. “Please.”

You nodded, squeezing his hand. “I won’t.”

As Chris and Felix finally led Hyunjin away, Minho stayed behind, pulling you into a hug.

“Well,” he said dryly, “that could’ve gone worse.”

You let out a shaky laugh, wiping your tears. “Could it?”

Minho sshrugged

“At least he knows now. He’ll come around. And when he does…” He smirked faintly. “You’re going to have a hell of a time keeping him out of your hair.”

You sighed, your heart heavy but hopeful. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

The company meeting was the stuff of legends. Chris had marched in like the leader of a revolution, Hyunjin trailing behind with fire in his eyes. By the end of it, the higher-ups had no choice but to relent. Hyunjin wasn’t going anywhere. Neither were you. And most importantly, Hyunjin was going to make damn sure his family - you and George Jr. were going to be happy, and with him always. 

Now that he was officially back, Hyunjin wasted no time slipping into full-time ‘husband’ mode. His mission? Make up for every second he’d missed. And maybe, just maybe, remind Minho and Felix that while they had been excellent stand-ins, it was time to hand over the reins to the rightful husband.

But, of course, Felix and Minho had no intention of stepping aside without a fight.

---

You and Hyunjin were finally having some well-deserved downtime - he had you nestled against his chest on the couch, his hand resting protectively on your bump. For the first time in what felt like forever, you felt calm. Peaceful.

And then Felix appeared.

“Move,” Felix announced dramatically, striding into the room and pointing at Hyunjin like he was accusing him of a crime.

“What?” Hyunjin asked, frowning.

“I said move,” Felix repeated, already wedging himself between the two of you (particularly experienced with this as he'd done it a hundred times before). 

You couldn’t help but laugh as Felix threw an arm around you and placed his head on your shoulder.

“Just so you know, Mr. Biological Father,” Felix began, glaring pointedly at Hyunjin, “George Jr. is mine. We share an emotional bond that transcends DNA, okay? And, George? She's mine too. You being back changes nothing.”

Hyunjin’s jaw dropped, his mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. 

“What are you even talking about?! Why are you still calling her that?!”

Felix huffed dramatically, clutching you tighter. 

“Because she’s my George! And I will not stand for you disrupting the sacred trust we’ve built. Now go be useful and bring George her smoothie.”

Hyunjin looked at you, utterly baffled. “You’re seriously letting him call you George?”

“It’s a thing now. I’ve stopped fighting it.” You shrugged, trying to stifle your giggles.

Felix gave Hyunjin a smug grin.

“See? She’s accepted her destiny. Now go.”

Before Hyunjin could fire back, Minho’s voice floated in from the kitchen.

“Yongbok-ah, I’m the one making the smoothie. I know how to serve the smoothie I made. Hyunjin, if you’re so desperate to help, why don’t you go fold the laundry or something?”

Hyunjin groaned, dragging a hand down his face.

“Why am I suddenly the errand boy in my own house?”

Minho appeared in the doorway, smoothie in hand, his expression deadpan.

“Maybe because we’ve been doing all the heavy lifting for months while you were busy, I don’t know, not knowing she was pregnant.” he said, and Hyunjin flinched, clutching his chest like Minho had shot him.

“Okay, low blow.”

“I call it the truth.” Minho smirked. 

“Minho hyung and I have carried this team for far too long. You’re going to have to earn your place here, buddy.” Felix said with a grin. 

Hyunjin threw his hands up in exasperation and said, “She’s literally my girlfriend! How do I have to earn anything?!”

“George belongs to us, Hyunjin. Now go fold the laundry.” Felix said, waving Hyunjin away.

You burst out laughing, clutching your belly as Hyunjin huffed in annoyance before stomping off. He came back with a basket full of freshly washed and dried clothes, and started folding.

“I’ll fold every piece of laundry in Korea if it means overthrowing these two clowns.”

“You guys are all insane, you know that?” you said, shaking your head. 

“We prefer devoted.” Felix grinned.

“Dedicated. Loyal.” Minho nodded. 

“Whatever they are, I’ll beat them at it. Just watch.” Hyunjin rolled his eyes but threw you a wink.

Divider: @saradika-graphics

Tags: @moonchild9350 @velvetmoonlght @eastjonowhere @pixie-felix @sailor--sun @chancloud8 @captainchrisstan @hansmic @emilyywhyy @inlovewithstraykids @my-neurodivergent-world @nightmarenyxx @channie4lifeee143127

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