So Soft It Hurts

“Chuuya.”

“He’s here, Ane-san,” he broke down, his face distraught and his hands on his chest, clutching the fabric of his shirt as if he could rip his heart out. Ane-san stopped smiling. “I let him in, damn it, and I don’t know how to get him out or what to do. I’m desperate.”

“Chuuya, dear.”

Chuuya staggered and fell back into his seat, burying his face in his hands as he fought back the tears. He jumped when Ane-san ran her fingers through his hair. He sniffled. She gently untied his hair and began to comb through his curls.

“I’m sorry,” he whimpered, wiping away tears with the heel of his hand.

“Feelings are complicated.”

“No, Dazai is complicated as hell,” he mumbled.

Kouyou smiled sweetly.

[Ao3 Link]

Oh, hello my old heart. How have you been?

─ Violet Trefusis

to be seen without performing. to be heard without screaming. to be missed without disappearing. to be enough without proving it. to be held without falling apart. to be understood without explaining. to be wanted without conditions. to be. to be.

"Wake up, Osamu..."

In our lives we know joy, anger, sorrow, and a hundred other emotions, but these emotions all together occupy a bare one percent of our time. The remaining ninety-nine per cent is just living in waiting.

Dazai Osamu, The Setting Sun

@banderskrad