Hey Remember That A Boycott If Actually MORE Effective Under Capitalism If You Profess You Would Actually

My 11-year-old couldn't decide what flavor of ramen to make, so I told her to flip a coin. Heads for spicy chicken, tails for beef.

Taking my advice, she flipped a penny, and when it landed on tails she said "Wait! Wait! I did it wrong!"

I told her that she did it right, because the real reason for flipping a coin isn't to let fate decide for you, but because when the coin is in the air, you will suddenly realize what you wanted in the first place.

I'm sure there's a life lesson there somewhere…

But honestly, I have never known her to pass up spicy chicken.

And Now the Screaming Starts! (1973) dir. Roy Ward Baker

Self love spell jar

Always cleanse first!

Cinnamon

Himalayan salt

Sugar

Dried rose petals

Sealed with pink wax

What are your top 12 favorite fairy tale princesses/heroines?

@ariel-seagull-wings Thank you for this question! <3

I admit that this was harder to narrow down than I thought and I am sure that tommorow I'll remember some childhood favorite that I forgot to mention, but here I go:

1) Kate Crackernuts She is the "less bonny" sister who runs away from home, visits the fairy kingdom like it's nothing, single-handedly saves her sister and saves her Prince. This girl has done it all. I wish there were more adaptations though. The Czech one from 1993 is decent but it focuses more on the love story between Anne and the young king, so Kate doesn't have as much space as I would prefer. And with the book retellings being on the rise in the past years, I am surprised that no-one dared to tackle this story…. (there is a book by Katharine Mary Briggs, I've tried to read it but the language-wise it's a very difficult and frankly, boring read)

2) Allerleirauh I love nearly all variants of this tale, be it German Allerleirauh, English Cap-o'-Rushes, Catskin or Czech Princess With the Golden Star. I definitely prefer versions that go with forced marriage to an evil king, rather than to the Princess's own father and many of my favorite adaptations choose this path as well, be it Russian "Donkeyskin" (1982), Czech "Princess With the Golden Star" (1959) or Czech "You're a Princess, Láďa!" (1979) - which is a more comedic version where the Princess crossdresses as a boy and becomes a kitchen helper.

3) The girl (Bohdanka) from The Seven Ravens I like The Wild Swans and The Six Swans variants just as well, but I very much prefer the Czech version where the siblings are not royal and Bohdanka only becomes a Princess by marrying the young king. I love the 2015 Czech adaptation (Netflix), the 1993 is a bit too dramatic for my taste and takes the spotlight from the heroine which I think is a shame. Märchenperlen's The Six Swans from 2012 was on the other hand very well done, with the story concentrated on the bond between the siblings and the love between the girl and the King, as it should be.

4) Cinderella She was my favorite when I was a child and I always enjoyed Němcová's version* which is actually similar to French "Finette Cendron" and has Cinderella killing ogres before the whole shenanigans with balls and slippers even start. *Božena Němcová (1820–1862) was a Czech collector of folk fairytales I need to talk about my favorite adaptations some other time because this post is already getting way too long :).

5) The heroine from East of the Sun and West of the Moon As with Allerleirauh, I like all the variants of this tale I've read so far, I love how it gender reverses the usual trope and it's the heroine who sets off to save her lover who is, for the most part, more of a passive character (ok, special shout out to Black Bull of Norroway, who literally slays a devil/dragon)

6) The Princess from "Fearless Mikesh" Doesn't matter if we're speaking of the written tale by Němcová or one of its film adaptations, such as The Brave Blacksmith (1983) or Fearless (1988), the core story is the same: a young man sets off to learn how to fear and decides to find a kidnapped and/or enchanted princess that disappeared from her kingdom. The princess secretly helps him on his way, often in different forms (as a fox dwarf or an old hag), to test his skills and to lead him to the magician who cursed her. (cool girl, shapeshifting powers probably borrowed from the evil wizard who kidnapped her, helps the hero to save the day)

7) Růženka (Rose) from "The speaking bird, the water of life and the three golden apples" by Božena Němcová (gets magical objects, saves her brothers, resurrects her mother, reunites her parents and calls it a day) Recently a variant of this tale was adapted by Sechs auf einen Streich series: Three Royal Children/Die drei Königskinder from 2019.

8) The Peasant's Wise Daughter from the fairytale of the same name (outwits the king, fights for justice for the lower class)

9) The Princess from The King of Seven Veils ("Il Re dei Sette Veli", collected by Antonio de Nino) It's kinda like gender swapped King Thrushbeard or Němcová's Punished Pride: instead of a proud princess refusing a perfectly nice king, here we have a beautiful but vain king who refuses a lovely princess. And she does what any other girl in her position would do: sets off to the world with a regiment of soldiers (they always come in handy), in one kingdom she saves a princess, in another she saves a queen, before finally arriving the the land of the King of Seven Veils. He falls in love with her and she embroiders his veils with a picture of a monk and a nun (because he said he won't marry her unless he becomes a monk and she becomes a nun), but he doesn't take a hint, so she leaves him an actual written note and returns to her kingdom, so he can pursue her :D. I just had to include at least one Italian fairytale, I love how active the heroines in Italian fairytales are, many of them just literally go around the world and save random people before returning home/finding true love for themselves. And I love this one especially because it was loosely adapted as a Czech 1999 TV fairytale film "The Princess of Rimini" which I adore to bits <3

10) The Frog Princess/Vasilisa the Wise While the Princess from Fearless has magic because of her curse, Vasilisa seems to have magic independent of Koschei's powers. And I am always here for witch-princesses, we need more of them in our fairytales. Shout out to Mila Sivatskaya as Vasilisa the Wise in The Last Warrior (2017) who is literally a kick-ass apprentice of Baba Yaga in this adaptation.

11) Beauty from Beauty and the Beast No, it wouldn't be fair to omit "Belle" whom I loved from Jeanne-Marie Leprince de Beaumont's version even before I've seen the timeless Disney movie.

12) Princess Desirée from The White Doe/The Doe in the Woods by Madame d'Aulnoy She is not a particularly active character which might make her a strange choice among the others I named, but I was always fascinated by her curiosity of the outside world and later by her free life in the woods where she's a doe during the day and a human by night. As a child, I thought it was a cool deal and I was disappointed when she got "saved" by the Prince and left the woods where she's been so happy.

Honorable mentions: Fanta-Ghirò the Beautiful, Molly Whuppie, Sorfarina, Janet from Tamlin, youngest princess from Salt Above Gold, Tatterhood…

Writing Romance: Courting

Prior to the 20th century, most couples engaged in courting politics to find their partners, and there were a lot of rules about how to properly court your intended partner. So I figured I’d put out a guide to proper romancing etiquette for those setting their stories in more antiquated settings. But a lot of these courtship practices don’t work as well for same-sex relationships. So, I’ll go through some of the rules for courtship that apply to any story that wants to use courting romances, then I’ll explore ways this could work for a queer couple.

Gender Dynamics in Queer Courtships

Gender is a HUGE aspect of courtship, as the expectations of men and women were starkly different. This leaves queer couples with two choices: either conform to the gender roles, or make the roles more generalized that both parties are expected to uphold. Whichever route you take, be consistent. Not just with queer couples but heterosexual ones as well. If a lesbian barmaid can chase skirts, why can’t a heterosexual seamstress chase chaps?

If you choose to lean into gender roles and active vs passive roles in courtship, I believe it is best to leave it that the one of higher social status takes on the role of the female, as it would be uncouth for a Duke to be chasing lowly Viscounts. Those looking for a higher status husband should be the one working to win the Duke’s affections. While one could argue that the one of higher status should be the active pursuer, the thought of a queen chasing skirts simply fails to capture the regal dignity of the position when we think on it. It seems more in line with the properness and decorum of the era to have the elite have the suitors come to them.

Even if you do away with the gender roles in favor of gender equality in relationships, social status and rank would still be enough to impact the active vs passive roles. A prince looking for a spouse will always be more passive, while his knights, dukes, and counts vie for his affections. Meanwhile, a lowly Baron will almost always be in pursuit of a match. This follows the Order of Precedence, a real life rule of etiquette  that states that those of lower status are the ones introduced to someone of higher status. So before a Baron can speak freely with a Prince, someone must introduce the Baron to the Prince and never the other way around. If the Baron is being introduced to a group, they will be introduced in ascending order of rank. The Baron will first be introduced to the Count, then the Duke, and then the Prince. This is why in many court scenes, someone will introduce a character to the king before they speak to one another.

But what if they’re of equal status? What happens when a prince is seeking another prince to be his husband? While they have equal titles, a prince of a tiny, less powerful kingdom is more likely be the pursuer to the prince of a bigger, wealthier kingdom. It’s also unlikely for a prince who is 1st in line to inherit his throne would marry a prince who is also the heir apparent to his own kingdom, unless they were looking to combine their countries into a new alliance. Otherwise, a first born prince is more likely to be chased by a second born prince who won’t inherit his kingdom. Likewise, in a relationship between two Dukes, the one who is higher in the line of succession to the crown would be the one to be pursued by the one lower down the line of succession. TL;DR: Whoever has the bigger house is the one getting pursued by suitors. However, do keep in mind that admittance to the royal palace is strictly by invitation only, so that does make things tricky. But visiting royalty often do have an open invitation to the royal palace. So while a Duke courting a prince would need an invitation to call on the prince for his hand in marriage, the Prince of Belgium would likely be just down the hall from the Prince of France’s quarters, giving him much easier access to court the Prince du Sang of France.

Presenting at Court

When a young gentleman or lady had come of courting and marrying age, their parents would petition to have them present at court, though people could also be recommended by other nobility. This was an effective way for some to social climb, being recommended by someone of much higher status and impeccable reputation can skyrocket their child into an advantageous position. These events would be held at the palace multiple times per year, and were invite only. The Lord Chamberlain was in charge of going over the guest list with the utmost scrutiny, and nobody would be permitted who did not have a pristine and stainless record.

Men of good social standing would present at court at formal events called Levées. They would present before the King or Prince. In the event that there were two queens or otherwise no living males of the royal family, they might present before the highest ranking male in the line of succession, or otherwise just present before the Queen. In the Victorian Era, men wore buckled shoes and swords to both a Levée and a Presentation. They had to wear either court dress or a uniform. So, if he was a soldier, he might present at court wearing his finest military dress uniform.

Presenting at court for girls were much less imaginative, only being called a Presentation. They were expected to drag long trains behind them, to bow and address the queen flawlessly, and then leave the room without fumbling over her dress or shoes. Like with the Levées for the gentlemen, these events would be held multiple times per year, and multiple girls would present on the same day, meaning that all of the girls would be compared. The better she performs, the more desirable she will be. Some men might be charmed by a little clumsiness, but it was generally seen as extremely important for a girl to make a great first impression on the court as a lady of courting and marrying age. This is also why the presentation itself is rather short. There’s a lot of girls to get through, and the queen’s a busy lady.

Someone who was already of marrying age but marries into higher status would be expected to present at court after the wedding. As a king and queen had the power to bestow titles on people at their leisure, it was not impossible for an older married woman to be made a high enough status to make her formal debut at court, and older women had different expectations when making their debut, such as styling themselves differently, and wearing different colors. Thus if, for example, a lowly washer woman saved a nobleman’s son from drowning, she might be rewarded by being recommended for a title like Lady or Baroness and being allowed to present at court. Regardless of age, the presentation mostly serves as an introduction of a new face at court to the rest of high society.

The Rules for Men

Men were encouraged not to flirt with everyone they found attractive, as being too friendly might earn them a reputation that hurts their social image. Guidelines to courtship from the Victorian Era makes it clear to young men that not every girl will be interested in his pursuit of her, and that he should take a lack of positive response to any advances as his cue to move on, lest he embarrass himself or his family.

Never allow a woman to be uncertain of your feelings and intentions. Women were permitted some leeway with acting coy, but for a man to toy with a woman’s affections was seen as improper. Once a man is aware a woman mistakes his attention for affection, he is to quickly, yet politely, lay bare his true feelings. In a similar vein, a man should never make any declaration in jest, whether expressing love or proposing marriage, any attempt to make such grand declarations as a jest does grave disservice to the woman, and will earn him great dissent and contempt from those of good breeding and high social standing. This second rule also extends to the fairer sex, and is just universally sound advice when navigating romantic entanglements.

A man must put out his cigar in the company of women, which also meant that if a woman approaches him to engage him in conversation, he must discard it, regardless of how expensive it was.

When greeting a woman in public, a man should tip his cap in a polite manner, though if she stops to talk to him, she will extend her hand to him. In this case, he must remove his hat with the hand farthest from her, and take her extended hand with the one closest to her. If they are well acquainted, he might bestow the back of her hand with a quick kiss before letting go of her hand. He would then be expected to walk with her as they converse. If he has somewhere to be or the conversation has reached a natural ending, he should politely excuse himself, and wait for her to say her farewells before he leaves her company. If he simply cannot stop to talk, he should make his urgency clear, and apologize before carrying on, still being sure to tip his hat in a show of politeness.

The Rules for Women

Accepting gifts from a suitor is dangerous. If a suitor brings you a gift and you accept it, it indicates that you are interested in their advances. Being too accepting can also cause a man to continue to shower you with gifts, which could be seen as greedy. If disinterested in the suitor, it is advised to decline his gift. However, it’s best to try and decline his gift in a courteous manner, as a calous decline will earn you a reputation for a foul temperament, which may discourage other suitors.

An unmarried woman should never be outside alone. She should always be in the company of a companion, chaperone, parent, or legal guardian. This is a means of protecting women from being set upon by unscrupulous men.

Even while courting one another, an unmarried woman should never be alone in the company of a man outside of her immediate family. This usually meant that any sort of date the pair might go on will always be supervised from afar by a parent or chaperone, such as a lady-in-waiting or a governess. The young couple would usually be left some leeway to conversate privately, so long as they were within clear eyesight of the woman’s caretakers, and close enough for them to step in should the man act dishonorably toward her.

A man will come to call upon a woman he is interested in pursuing, meaning that he will come to her house in order to pitch woo or charm her. This is to ensure she is in the safety and protection of her family, so as to prevent her from being done ill by the man where her family cannot protect her. As such, a woman would never call upon a man or go to his residence. In a queer relationship, this is simply swapped to the one of lower status coming to the house of the one of higher status. Although, due to the role of status, the suitor will require an invitation (either specific or open) to come a-courting on the object of their affections.

Women would often have a dance card which indicated who she intended to dance with at an upcoming ball. She’d save a dance for the host, and likely also her suitor. Any special guest of the ball would likely also be afforded a dance. If she has multiple suitors, she would be expected to dance with all of them, and not to spend her entire evening doting on only one of them. It was also seen as improper for her to dance too often with the same partner, regardless of whether she was looking for a spouse or not. If she was the guest of honor, it might be expected for her to share more than one dance with the host, possibly sharing the first and/or last dance with him to start or close out the night. Sometimes at dances, the guests would know the music selection and dances ahead of time, and women would have the music or dances on their dance cards. While I don’t know if it was done historically, I don’t think it would be too unorthodox for a man to write a woman ahead of a ball (assuming he’s familiar enough for such audacity) and request that she save a specific kind of dance for him. If his Waltz is shabby, but he does a marvelous Minuet, he’d want to be sure his dance with a possible match would be a dance he’s more proficient with. A lady might fill up her entire dance card ahead of time, but she’d more often than not leave a spot or two open to allow for more spontaneity. As dance cards were only used by women, I don’t know if they’d be used by gay men in courtship or not. Queer people at a ball however might wear something to indicate their preference in dance partner. A visual cue to let the gentlemen know that the Baroness of Arendale doesn’t have much interest in dancing with men.

Courting in Public

Courtship, especially among the upper class, was predominantly undergone during the Social Season, which in the UK ran from March until September, and included a wide variety of events and activities including balls, picnics, dinner parties, and sporting events. During the social season, every personage of noble blood would gather in a central location, usually the capital. These were not the only times during the year when people courted, it was more akin to a feeding frenzy for eligible bachelors, largely due to all of their marital options being assembled for the season, making it much easier to find someone to his liking.

It was wildly scandalous to show public displays of affection. That was to be reserved for private life. As such, suitors would instead exchange gifts, photographs or locks of hair instead of kissing or holding hands. For a queer relationship, it might be allowable for suitors to give one another their clothing, jewelry, weapons, or armor, either in their entirety or a particular piece of it. However the intimacy of sharing garments would likely be reserved for couples that have been courting for some time, and would be ill-advised as a first gift to one’s admirer.

At a ball or other such party, if someone catches your fancy but you’ve never met them before, it is impolite to speak to them until the host or hostess has formally introduced you to one another. Even if you dance with them, it is ill-mannered to speak to them during and after the dance if neither of you have been introduced to one another.

If someone insults your suitor, a gentleman should be ready to act the part of a knight and defend his lover’s honor. If his partner initiated the conflict, it is advised for a gentleman to apologize on their behalf, though not so meekly as to offend their lover or besmirch their honor. If another man is looking to start a quarrel, a gentleman should not return his hostilities, as a foul temper and lack of self-control is an indication of ill manners and poor breeding, bringing you down to the other man’s level.

A gentleman should always carry his lady’s luggage, and on the sidewalk, takes the side closest to the street to keep his lady’s dress from being splashed with mud or water, or to keep her safe should a wayward horse, carriage, or car veer off the street, it is more likely to strike him than her.

A couple talking in public must speak succinctly, poignantly, and softly. Long drawn-out conversations were best for private, whereas in public, it was unwise to spend one’s entire evening conversing with a single person, unless it is well-known the severity of their entanglement. It was considered ill-manner to speak excessively or too loudly as to disturb others.

Matchmaking and Gold-Digging

Due to eldest sons getting the entire inheritance of his father, women seeking to court would seek out eldest sons who would be coming into their family fortune, while sons left out of the inheritance would be more willing to marry below their station in pursuit of rich heiresses whose wealth would keep them in the lifestyle to which they have grown accustomed. Likewise in a queer relationship, wealth and power would likely effect the interests of relationships, and differences in inheritance laws might also change the power dynamics in courtships. If a daughter can inherit the full control of her father’s mercantile empire, she’s going to be fighting off second-born suitors with a stick, regardless of gender.

I mentioned above the Levées and Presentations that young nobles would go through when entering the public sphere of the court. Parents of other noble families would often be in attendance of these parties, and if a presenter impressed them, they may approach the parents and suggest a courtship between their children. This is less of an arranged marriage, and more the parents steering their children to give each other a chance. It’s much closer to playing matchmaker than paying 5 cows and a corn mill for someone’s daughter. The children could still decline the courtship out of lack of interest or an absence of chemistry, so long as they settled things politely. 

Watch Bridgerton

While Bridgerton is by no means a perfect replica of historical courtship, as its Diamond of the Fresh Water is largely a creation of the show, things such as the calling of suitors, the responsibility of first-borns compared to second-born and third-born sons, marital entrapment, and elevating one’s status is very well executed. If you want to write period romance, Bridgerton is an excellent resource to take inspiration from. It’s a great way to see these mechanics in action and hopefully watching it will spark something in your own imagination.

While that was a lot of information, I do hope it is something you found helpful. Most of the rules are much harsher on upper class characters, but most people who write historical romances are more interested in the romance between the countess and the duke, rather than the washer woman and the fisherman. I will also admit this is not a flawless breakdown, as I could have easily missed something. Still, as someone who loves period dramas and historical costume, I couldn’t leave such a tantalizing topic untouched.

there should be a sub genre of books that were originally written to comment on the evils of capitalism and how greed and wealth corrupts society as a whole and how those popular books were subsequently made into hollywood movies and were marketed in a way in order to mass produce as much merchandise as possible so the companies behind the movies can make as much money as possible and thus completely erasing the original meaning of that story while also unintentionally proving the point of the original novels themes

how to start reading again

from someone who was a voracious reader until high school and is now getting back into it in her twenties.

start with an old favourite. even though it felt a little silly, i re-read the harry potter series one christmas and it wiped away my worry that i wasn't capable of reading anymore. they are long books, but i was still able to get completely immersed and to read just as fast as i had years and years ago.

don't be afraid of "easier" books. before high school i was reading the french existentialists, but when getting back into reading, i picked up lucinda riley and sally rooney. not my favourite authors by far, but easier to read while not being totally terrible. i needed to remind myself that only choosing classics would not make me a better or smarter person. if a book requires a slower pace of reading to be understood, it's easier to just drop it, which is exactly what i wanted to avoid at first.

go for essays and short stories. no need to explain this one: the shorter the whole, the less daunting it is. i definitely avoided all books over 350 pages at first and stuck to essay collections until i suddenly devoured donna tartt's goldfinch.

remember it's okay not to finish. i was one of those people who finished every book they started, but not anymore! if i pick up a book at the library and after a few chapters realise i'd rather not read it, i just return it. (another good reason to use your local library! no money spent on books you might end up disliking.)

analyse — or don't. some people enjoy reading more when they take notes or really stop to think about the contents. for me, at first, it was more important to build the habit of reading, and the thought of analysing what i read felt daunting. once i let go of that expectation, i realised i naturally analyse and process what i read anyway.

read when you would usually use your phone. just as i did when i was a child, i try to read when eating, in the bathroom, on public transport, right before sleeping. i even read when i walk, because that's normally a time i stare at my screen anyway. those few pages you read when you brush your teeth and wait for a friend very quickly stack up.

finish the chapter. if you have time, try to finish the part you're reading before closing the book. usually i find i actually don't want to stop reading once i get to the end of a chapter — and if i do, it feels like a good place to pick up again later.

try different languages. i was quickly approaching a reading slump towards the end of my exchange year, until i realised i had only had access to books in english and that, despite my fluency, i was tired of the language. so as soon as i got back home i started picking up books in my native tongue, which made reading feel much easier and more fun again! after some nine months, i'm starting to read in english again without it feeling like a huge task.

forget what's popular. i thought social media would be a fun way to find interesting books to read, but i quickly grew frustrated after hating every single book i picked up on some influencer's recommendation. it's certainly more time-consuming to find new books on your own, but this way i don't despise every novel i pick up.

remember it isn't about quantity. the online book community's endless posts about reading 150 books each year or 6 books in a single day easily make us feel like we're slow, bad readers, but here's the thing: it does not matter at all how many books you read or what your reading pace is. we all lead different lives, just be proud of yourself for reading at all!

stop stressing about it. we all know why reading is important, and since the pandemic reading has become an even more popular hobby than it was before (which is wonderful!). however, there's no need to force yourself to be "a reader". pick up a book every now and then and keep reading if you enjoy it, but not reading regularly doesn't make you any less of a good person. i find the pressure to become "a person who reads" or to rediscover my inner bookworm only distances me from the very act of reading.

These are the words US Federal government agencies are pulling, flagging, or recommending against using (source). There is no set of revisions that will protect us. Removing “DEI” will not help us. They want to ban the work toward a better future by banning what we can talk about. We must not comply in advance. Resist! Speak up! Drown out their fear with our community!

@our-trans-punk-experience

The Hunger Games, Actual Teen style!

On the left, 15-year-old Josh Hutcherson.

On the right, 16-year-old Jennifer Lawrence.

Think how much creepier it would be to see them killing other kids when they look so squishy-cheeked and little.

In regards of the Trump government scraping all trans inclusion in its queer information portion of its websites I have made this thing. Spread the word. Don't let them pretend we never existed.

P.S: Don't like! Reblog! <3