Dirtywifemind - Slutwife

Well, the year is coming to an end, so it’s time for this year’s top 5 book list.

Starting with the five MMF romance books I enjoyed most.

Sugar Daddies – Jade West

Swept - Alyssa Turner

Stitches - Sam Mariano

Three to Play – Lee Swift

Roll against trust – Allyson Lindt

I love how you try to appear faithful, how your eyes reveal the battle between duty and desire. How you hold your breath for a moment, as if hoping to resist, but the fire within you has already begun to burn uncontrollably. How your thoughts still seek justification, yet your body surrenders to instinct. You try to remain loyal to your husband, but the passion coursing through you always prevails.I love how you give yourself to this moment, breaking every chain, as if each touch liberates you from shame. How you beg me to take you to the edge, forgetting everything else — even your vows. You captivate me with this struggle, where what you truly desire always triumphs — me.

Tattoos by dino_vallely. Follow them on Instagram! ❤️

https://www.instagram.com/dino_vallely/

Shop location: Sète, France. 🇫🇷

Follow my other body modification blogs here: https://linktr.ee/piercingsandmods

+++++

Why be a Stag?

I had not heard of a Stag until we started on our journey. There where so many terms out there, where did we fit in? Not that we need terms to define us. But we have decided that the term Stag for me and Vixen for my wife best defines the lifestyle we choose to live.

Unlike what seems to be a common theme in a cuckold relationship, as a Stag I do not have a small cock in fact my cock is the perfect size for my wifes pussy. It reaches the back of her vagina just fine, its not too skinny either. I please her in our love making, we have a great sex life. We treat each other with respect at all times, when we invite another to fuck her the Bull must do the same. I am confident, professional and have a high self respect.

So why do I like a Stag lifestyle? Simple.

We where already a strong couple to the outside world, internally we had cracks due to various reasons. We thought we where stronger than we where. Now, this lifestyle has made us better than what the outside world veiwed we are now a super power couple and it has been noticed by just about all that know us. Only nobody knows why.

The lifestyle has improved;

Love - I love my wife more today than the day I meet her.

Trust - Our level of trust is at a level that most couples only dream of.

Communication - Is at a level that we have never experienced in our relationship. There is nothing that we hold in now. We say what is on our minds without fear of judgment. If we are not together we want to be communicating wheather it is phone, texting or sexting.

Respect - Our respect for each other is incredible, unlike at any other time in our relationship.

Teamwork - After 20yrs we had become a bit you do your jobs I will do mine. Now we want to do everything together.

Commitment - We have never been so committed to each other and our future.

Confidence - My Vixen is super confident, she dresses sexier, looks sexier, almost has a glow to her, carries herself with more pride, feels awesome, loves the attention she receives from all that meet her now.

Honesty - We now say exactly what we feel, without fear of judgment. We can say I would like to try this, if it’s outside her comfort zone she will say so and I will not take it to heart. Usually we find a compromise that makes us both happy.

Conflict resolution - we can argue now come to a resolution without bringing unrelated issues into the conflict (dirty fighting) we resolve our issues without making them worse.

My social skills - I had become quite anti social. Did not like socializing or being around groups. My wife has noticed a significant change in me. I am not hiding in the corner waiting for the night to be over anymore.

Sex life - Our sex life is incredibly good, we now have sex at least once a day, usually more. We just can’t keep our hands off each other. The quality of sex is unbelievable. My stamina has improved so much my wife can’t get enough. My penis has grown considerably so much that my wife use to comfortably give my a blow job now she struggles to get the girth and lengh in her mouth.

When we meet with Bulls she goes for hours, so far it has not been her that has needed a short break but us to reload. My Vixen is always super horny. Neither of us can get enough sex, after she has been with a Bull. Even if I had multiple orgasms in that time she says when he leaves and I reclaim her, my cum load is huge.

For those considering becoming a Stag with a Vixen wife. Be prepared for some amazing positive changes in your life if you are both ready for it.

Feels best when you control your men. They behave and do things for your pleasure. You become their center of universe.

Head empty only

“Come here angel”

“On your knees”

“Fuck, is that good?”

“Mmm you’re taking me so well”

“You’re doing so well for me”

“Good girl”

“mmm, god you feel so good”

“Is this okay?”

“Oh you like that huh?”

“Deeper? Okay darling”

“Oh you like it right there?”

“God you feel so good”

“Aw you’re so wet for me”

“Is this okay like this?”

“You like it when i touch you here don’t you?”

“Fuck, you’re so cute like that”

“Can you say my name darling?”

“Yes. What?”

“Good little slut”

“That’s it right there”

“Fuck”

“Aw you’re doing so well”

“Shh shh, it’s okay it’s okay”

“Such a good slut taking me this deep”

“You’re so pretty when you moan like that”

“Fuck you feel so good”

Intellectual, imaginative, romantic, emotional. This is what gives sex its surprising textures, its subtle transformations, its aphrodisiac elements. Sex loses all its power and magic when it becomes explicit, mechanical, overdone, when it becomes a mechanistic obsession. It becomes a bore. You are shrinking your world of sensations. You are withering it, starving it, draining its blood. If you nourished your sexual life with all the excitements and adventures which love injects into sensuality, you would be the most potent human being in the world. The source of sexual power is curiosity, passion. You are watching its little flame die of asphyxiation. Sex does not thrive on monotony. Sex must be mixed with tears, laughter, words, promises, scenes, jealousy, envy, all of the spices of fear, foreign travel, new faces, novels, stories, dreams, fantasies, music, dancing, opium, wine.

Anaïs Nin - 'The Diary Of Anaïs Nin, Volume 3; 1939-1944'

Hotwife Lifestyle - Understanding Our Man’s Hotwife Fantasy and How to Use That to Our Advantage

The fantasy of having a “Hotwife” is growing, in fact, research shows it is growing at a higher rate than a good majority of the other lifestyle alternatives, including the old staple of “swinging” and the modern “open relationship”.  Why is it that a fantasy that revolves around only one part of a relationship – the woman – going out and finding pleasure from another man more intriguing to an increasing number of men than going out and “getting some” for himself?  

Basic psychology tells us that men are highly competitive creatures.  They have a drive to compete with other males of the species for the best mate – this isn’t so much different than what happens in the animal kingdom.  Most men have an innate drive to compete with other men when it comes to the “best mate” or the “most attractive woman”.  With this being said, one of the reservations of most women who find out about their husband or partner’s Hotwife fantasy is that he is somehow “weaker” than the rest because he wants to give up his position as your only partner.  Is this really true, though?  Could the truth lie somewhere within today’s man’s loss of natural competition in everyday life, and a desire to maintain a level of competition after marriage or “monogamy”?  Is this weakness, or rather the ultimate confidence?  

Cuckholding aside, because this aspect of the fantasy requires a bit more in terms of a “woman led” relationship, and a bit more from the man in terms of a desire for mental sadomasochism, a good majority of men enjoy the idea that they have been able to “capture” the best mate and even when she’s out having amazing physical and emotional experiences with men who may have qualities that actually supersede their own – a better body, a larger cock, youth, more prowess in bed – their woman actually WANTS to come back to them at the end of the night.  While most Hotwife-Husbands do get some level of turn-on from the jealousy and the possibility that their Hotwife may actually be enjoying their dates more than they enjoy being “at home”, the overwhelming desire is the competition and the “win” in terms of having a wife who chooses them again and again even after being allowed to go out and have other men.  

As Hotwives, we may be the focus of the fantasy, but there is that deeper and more psychological desire of a man who, even after committing to one woman, is able to compete with other males sexually.  This is why the desire for “reclaiming” a Hotwife after a date is so strong – it’s actually been scientifically proven that men who are able to reclaim a partner after she has been with someone else have an increase in testosterone levels, which means stronger desire, more powerful erections, longer lasting erections, and an overall stronger sex drive.  So, what does this mean for us as Hotwives?

He Enjoys the Jealousy, Go with It

As women we’ve learned that inducing some jealousy can actually be a good thing when it comes to dating – before we’ve found our “person”.  We use our female prowess to keep the men who we are seeing guessing…why?  Because they seem more interested in us when it seems as though we may not be 100% there.  So, if this works in the dating world, why wouldn’t it work once we’re married? In contrast, women typically don’t respond as well, or in the same way to jealousy – we tend to worry, question, and sometimes shut down if we feel that he might be “just not that into us”.  Naturally, because of our own feelings on the matter, we tend to avoid making our men jealous once we’ve committed to them, because we, ourselves don’t want to feel as though we’re in constant competition with other, more attractive, sexier, younger, etc., women.  Why would we do something to the man that we love that we, ourselves, would hate?

For men, though, and especially those with Hotwife fantasies, jealousy is a big component and tool for us to keep our men hot and bothered.  Sometimes just the mere mention of being flirted with by that cute guy at our favorite restaurant, or our interest in the sexy personal trainer at the gym is enough to send our men into a sexual frenzy.  It doesn’t take a lot to feed the fantasy.  It’s not ALL about dates and recounting how well we got worked over in the bedroom (and how much we loved it), though that is the ultimate turn on for our men, it’s also about the little things – the mention of our interest in someone else, the sexy messages that we send to potential lovers or Bulls, the “tease” of how much we loved what our last Bull did for us and how much we’re looking forward to doing it again.  Remember, this ignites the “competition” element of things, which is natural for men.

The More You Enjoy it, the More He Enjoys it

You may be thinking, “But I’m doing it for him, I’m not doing it for myself” (a common theme by A LOT of Hotwives), but in reality, our men WANT us to enjoy our encounters. They want to hear about what this “other guy” did for or to is that sent us over the edge, and yes, they want to hear what we liked better about the “other guy”.  I know it seems crazy, because we don’t want to imagine our men, even if we did allow them to be with other women, thinking that their “others” were better, sexier, hotter or had something that we don’t.  That’s because we don’t have that “competition drive” like our men do.

Let’s face it, despite what our men tell us – “It’s all about your pleasure” or “I don’t get anything out of it unless you’re enjoying it, because I love you so much” – this isn’t some ultimate “unselfish” thing our men are doing for us.  These things come out of their mouths, but what they are really saying is “I want to know that you came three times while he was fucking you, and you STILL want to come home to me”.  It’s their kink, and we have to understand it.  

So, if you’ve actually taken the step into the world of Hotwifing, you’re going to have to learn how to properly tease your man into believing that, just maybe, your Bull was better than him in some ways.  Whenever you think “But I’m only doing it for him”, follow that us with “I’m doing it for him and he WANTS to know that I absolutely enjoyed it”.  Find some aspect of your encounter that was mind-blowing, and recount, in great detail exactly what it was that sent you over the edge.  This may require a little bit of embellishment, and that’s OKAY…trust me…embellishment is your friend in this situation.  Tell your man about your Bull’s amazing cock, how good if felt, how good he tasted, how fantastic he was at oral sex, etc.  These are the things that will ramp up that competition streak in your man and make him want to reclaim you with increased vigor and desire.  

The More You Want Someone Else, The More Your Man Wants You

Again, you’re playing on the competition and the teasing aspect of things here…  The more that you act as if you WANT to be a Hotwife, the more that your husband or partner is going to WANT you.  His desire for you is going to skyrocket, his sexual desire for you is going to make it so that he’s ready to chew his own leg off to get you back in bed.  I have experienced this firsthand many times…if I am completely honest about an “encounter” and admit to “D” that my Bull was lacking in some way, or I didn’t quite “get there”, he isn’t nearly as turned on as when I tell him about how amazing things were.  I don’t like or believe in lying, but I do advocate for being selective and stretching the truth…maybe your lover wasn’t the best at giving oral sex, but maybe he was an amazing kisser, so a good answer would be “he was amazing with his mouth” and leave the rest up for interpretation.  

We’re women.  We are strong and capable and we are smart.  And the truth is, this is a GAME we are playing for and with our husbands/partners, so we need to get our heads into the game. Furthermore, this is an intellectual game, and we need to use our intellects to get to where we want to be.  Where do we want to be?  We want to have a husband/partner who is absolutely drooling over us, believes we are the ultimate sexual goddess, and in is jealous enough to realize that in order to “compete” they will need to step up their own game in order to “keep” us satisfied – be that with amazing sex, extra romance, other rewards, or all of the above.  

Happy Hotwifing!

-S

YOU WANT HER TO DRESS LIKE A SLUT?

One of the most fun and exciting aspects of the slutwife fantasy and lifestyle is when the wife starts dressing like a slut in public. There are a few reasons why both men and women could find this very exciting. All the sexual attention will be focused on her which will draw into many primitive reproductive aspects for both husband and wife. In a sense, she is out and looking to mate, which brings out hormonal responses from her body, the husband’s body, and the other people looking as well, creating a chain reaction of excitement throughout the place. Sexual energy is amongst the most potent human drivers for accomplishments, status, beauty, power, etc. but we will talk more on that on a later post. For today, let us focus on the topic, a girl dressed like a slut brings out a lot of benefits for everyone around her. To summarize briefly, you want her more, she boosts her sexual confidence, and every guy wants to test his luck with her.

It goes without saying, everyone wants to look good and everyone wants to be with someone who looks good. So what is the issue? Why isn’t every single wife out there not dressed like a slut? Why do most men who fantasize about the lifestyle complain that their wives refuse to dress slutty like they ask them too?

These are all good questions who’s answers could vary slightly from one girl to the next. In general, it comes down to her self view, which tells her that she is not looking to mate.

To grasp this perspective, why are teenage and college girls more willing to wear slutty clothing than married women? There are a variety of factors, but in general terms, those girls are looking to mate on a hormonal level. They seek attention and are willing to show more to get it. So shy do most lose this when they get married? Well, because she is no longer competing for a sexual partner to mate with. She no longer needs the same raging hormones to drive her to seek the perfect mate.

There is a lot of evolutionary and psychological factors as to why this happens this way, but we won’t dwell on that since this is not science class. What is important to know is that her being married is not an end to your dream of seeing her dress like a slut. Below, we will cover some good guidelines to use so that you can help your wife to go from dressing like a prude to dressing like a slut.

1. Tell Her Why and Go Slow - As with anything regarding a person you love, this is not about manipulation, this is about doing something together. So tell her what you would like and why. Wording is key. Do not say, “I want to you look like a cheap hoe”, say, “I love your boobs and wish you would show them off a bit more. Why? Because you think she is hot and you love knowing you have something every other man wants. You love how empowered you feel when you can tell every guy desires her and how you get to take her home. You love how good she looks and you want her to feel as beautiful as possible. Do not expect her to go out looking like a slut just because you asked, this may take time, so give it to her. The more prude she has been, the more insecurities she may need to overcome, so don’t rush it.

2. Build Her Up - Confidence in her body will be one of the biggest obstacles women will face. So before trying to rush her into wearing a thong bikini, build her up. You should always be complimenting how good X body part looks and how hot you think she is. This only gets you so far, so getting her into increasing her exercise and fine tuning eating habits will go a long way over time if you both do it. Celebrate small accomplishments and ensure you compliment how she is looking much better. Her hair, nails, time at the spa, massages, etc are all ways to pamper and build her up. Think of her as being a slutwife already, so worship her body, treat her right, take her out, and love her. A happy wife is a sexy wife, and a sexy wife is a slutty wife.

3. Start From The Inside Out - Before ever attempting to have her wear that slutty attire outside, have her wear it inside just for you. She needs time to process how she looks dressed like that, so don’t rush it. Appreciate her effort and let her know how much you love the way she looks. She may be happy dressing up a bit for you at home, but even if she wants to, she may need time to build herself up to go out showing. This could be in a physical and psychological sense as well, so take your time with her at home. A second factor to starting from the Inside Out is her underwear. When it comes to going out, she is much more like to wear something sexy under her clothes that you know about but others don’t. For example, she is more likely to wear some really sexy lingerie underneath her normal clothes than she is to wear a micro dress. So as far as going out goes, start by asking her to dress sexier under her clothes and work your way out. Example, have her wear a blouse that she normally wears, but now with a push up bra. A skirt she normally wears, but with a thong.

4. One Thing At A Time - Unless she is open to it from the start, do not go trying to get her into a micro dress that covers less than a bikini. In other words, do not have her show everything at once. Ask her to focus on a specific area first. Assuming she has big boobs, have her wear a push up bra under a tight blouse that hugs her boobs without showing skin. Then you can progress to having her show off her neck with another blouse still wearing that pushup bra on another occasion. On a later date, she could show the top of her chest. Then a slights glimpse of cleavage. Etc. If she is more of a leg/butt girl, she can start by wearing a sexy thong under a long and loose skirt. Over time, her skirts should get slightly shorter and tighter. This application goes with jeans, going from loose to really tight and torn, to shorts, to micro shorts and skirts, etc. Bikinis, from one piece, to more revealing one piece, to two piece, to small bottoms, to thongs, etc. You should get the point now. Again, this is not a race, do not rush. Start from the Inside out, get her comfortable, pace yourself, and let her flow.

5. Talk About Reactions/How Proud Are You? - When she does go outside wearing something sexy she normally wouldn’t, make sure you compliment her before even stepping out. This builds her ego and confidence. Once out, take note of guys that check her out. Once back in the safety of your car, home, or someplace distanced from the guy, bring it up to her who you saw checking her out. You want to wait for the right moment so that she does not become self-conscious about it. Just tell her who you saw, what they did, and how proud you are that she is so sexy, and how much the whole thing turned you on. If possible, finish this off by eating her out and give her the orgasm of her life. Condition her to associate dressing sexy = male attention = orgasm, this will get her going the right direction.

6. Give Her An Excuse - If you want your wife to dress like a slut, give her an excuse. In other words, take her out. You want her to spend over an hour getting ready to look her sexiest, make it worth her time. Promise and deliver on a nice dinner and night of dancing (See post on Dancing). Make her correlate dressing up sexy with fun and attention, and she will want more of it. Also, take her to places where there will be other guys who can check her out, and remember to tell her what you saw afterward and how much it turns you on. Other excuses for her to practice wearing less are Halloween, role playing sex, trips to the beach, faraway vacations, etc. the more you give her an excuse to dress sexy, the more she will do it. The more she does it, the more attention she gets, the more you pleasure her.

7. Go From the Outside In - Assuming she became comfortable wearing certain slutty clothes out in public but she has reached her limit, now you must go from the outside in. So lets assume she has become comfortable wearing a short skirt that just covers her butt. She may have reached her current limit and may not want to wear a skirt any shorter than that because she would literally be showing part of her butt. Do not try to fight this, just flow with it. You can still buy her and ask her to wear a shorter skirt, but tell her to wear it at home for you. Same applies for blouses with cleavage, etc. wherever there is a limit, ask her to wear it at home. The second aspect of going from the outside is that once she reaches her limit of what she is willing to wear externally, you focus on what she wears internally. That is, her underwear. We covered pushing into getting her to wear sexy lingerie as often as possible, so assuming she is already doing that, focus on getting her to go bra less or panty less while still wearing clothes within her limits. Remember, only focus on one thing at a time, so don’t ask her to go and get rid of all her bras and panties, you will only ask her to either not wear one or the either until she is ok to move on. However, remember the end goal is not for her to be bra less or panty less, the goal is to get her comfortable feeling sexy and looking slutty. So if a push bra makes her feel her sexiest, stick to that.

8. Push Her Geographical Comfort Zone- As stated, we use the privacy of our bedroom as a safe space to start from. She should feel comfortable enough there to wear just about anything in front of you and know you will enjoy it. The next step is making her confortable in the living room. When she becomes comfortable wearing something for you in the bedroom, start guiding her into wearing it for you in the living room. The best way is by taking her there for sex. Then you can ask her to get you a glass of water while wearing her sexy clothes (the kitchen). Then you can move on to stepping into the backyard to hangout at night with the lights off. Then front porch at night with lights off. Then taking her for a drive at night. Then picking up food at a drive through. Asking her to go pay for something at a gas station. Etc. You repeat this process during daytime hours as well. The point of this is getting her comfortable wearing sexy clothes for you and expanding the comfort she feels in the bedroom to the rest of the world. Never make assumptions that just because she wore something similar or less clothing on one occassion, she will be comfortable wearing something else next time. With each item of sexy clothing, plan on starting at the bedroom and take any immediate progress as a blessing. The more comfortable she becomes with slutty clothes, the easier this will be.

9. Dont Be Cheap/Invest in Her- There is no way around this. If you want her to dress slutty for you, you can’t be cheap. She is not going to dress as sexy as she can for you to take her to McDonalds. She is not going to feel confident wearing a dress you picked up at the dollar store. She is not going to be feeling very sexy with those 2 dollar panties from Amazon. She is not going to look forward for a date at a truck stop dive bar. If she is going to put in the work, show her you will too. So buy her a nice sexy dress that she will feel excited about trying on for you. Buy her that sexy lingerie that makes her feel like a sex goddess. Get her those high heels that she has been staring at. Invest in her. Now don’t go broke either, don’t sacrifice your livelihood trying to make her a slut, cause it will have the opposite effect. Plan accordingly and invest money in buying her nice and sexy things you want her to wear for you in public. For training purposes only, you can buy her cheaper and sluttier stuff she will only wear in the bedroom, but don’t be cheap when expecting her to wear something out in public for you.

10. Let Her Go Alone - When she is comfortable wearing something out with you, ensure she is comfortable wearing it without you. Meaning, if she wears something sexy at the bar with you, go to the restroom and leave her alone a few minutes. Let her experience how safe she is being alone dressed like that. If someones hits on her, tell her how sexy she is and how much it turns you on that every guy wants her. When possible, ask her to wear something sexy to work, even if it is just lingerie. Ask her to wear a sexy skirt next time she goes shopping. Have her wear one of those new smaller bikinis at the pool. Have her wear those shorts you love around your friends. Create personalized scenarios where she wears her sexy clothes, then give her time alone with other men. Show her you are not jealous, you trust her, and any attention she does get only turns you on. The more she gets to do this, the more confortable she will become around other men who check her out.

These are some general guidelines to use to get your wife to dress sluttier. Notice that these are guidelines with no particular order, they are meant to be used simultaneously and adjust as needed. I can not guarantee that your wife will dress like a cheap prostitute waiting to get picked up, but if you follow these guidelines, your wife is guaranteed to dress sluttier than she currently does. Furthermore, you will begin to condition your wife to expect male attention and correlate it with pleasure, just like those slutty college girls do. This will have her opening up more to other possibilities.