Look At This Shiny Lil Guy.

How to make the princess bride a TV series.

Title:

"The Fantastic Adventures of The Dread Pirates Roberts"

It would run for three seasons.

S1 follows the story of the "Dread Pirate Roberts" before Wesley. It would start with how he came to be dpr. It would jump across about thirty years of pirating, romance, and adventure ending with finding Wesley.

S2 follows the time that Wesley spent as dpr. It would show how he came to be dpr, how was his first day as dpr, a few of the hijinks that he got up to as dpr, and most importantly, how he became the man we see in "The Princess Bride". We end on a lingering shot showing him at the start of his journey to save his true love, fade to black and then the words "to see what happens next go watch the princess bride" show up before the credits roll.

S3 (the last season) would follow Inigo Montoya for his time as the dpr. He and Fezzik start off their adventure in a bit of a slump. You see Inigo just spent his whole life in pursuit of revenge and now has nothing left to live for. The first half of the first episode is a bit sad. Inigo is drunk for most of it and Fezzik is just trying to keep his friend from accidentally throwing himself off the ship. About halfway through the episode a ship from a far away kingdom shows up and attacks our drunken dpr kidnapping Fezzik and the crew and marooning Inigo on a small island jack sparrow style. Inigo has a new revenge spree to go on and a new purpose in life (to take down the people who did this). Along the way Inigo will: realize the kingdom who did this is looking to go all imperial and take over the whole territory, end up helping to form a resistance force against the invading kingdom, discover that the resistance leader that is helping him coordinate everything is actually quite attractive, team up with Wesley again (for double dpr action), turn dpr from a notorious boogyman into a folk hero, and discover the kind of man he really wants to be. Once the empire is fully pushed from the realm and everyone is safe Inigo decides to retire as dpr with no successor, allowing the name to end things off as a hero of the people instead of terror of the seas. And everyone lived happily ever after.

The end.

Keep political intrigue to a minimum. This the princess bride universe, the focus should be on fighting, romance, and a narration style kind of like how I met your mother but with a good story book feel (think Ella enchanted).

Episodes are 22 minutes long and seasons are 26 episodes a piece. The finally will be 50 minutes long and there will be a full 22 minute episode devoted to epilogue.

Thank you I will accept any questions now.

The single most important piece of writing advice I would give to a lot of amateur writers is to write less beautifully - or at least to write beautifully less.

I rarely find a piece of writing I can't read because it's too simple, or too concise and to-the-point - not memorable, perhaps, but also not a headache on a page. On the other hand, I see loads of pieces which are effectively unreadable because they're far too rich to swallow, and badly in need of watering down a bit.

The absolute worst culprit is the dialogue tags and stage directions. I'm a big fan of letting people write in their own style, but I would love it if a lot of writers could please cool it with letting me know every time a character blinks or licks their lips. I don't need to know that, especially if it happens every time they speak.

So many dialogue excerpts look like this:

"So this is how we talk?" he queried quietly, his eyebrows furrowed into knots. "Apparently," she replied with a puzzled grin, bouncing on the balls of her feet with restless energy. "Isn't that... exhausting?" he questioned, a lop-sided smile snaking its way across his lips. "The bouncing?" she asked shyly, her eyelids fluttering in shame. "No, of course not," he told her, his lean arms reached out to pull her closer. He buried his face into the mess of her hair, taking a deep breath of her perfume. "I just feel a little nauseated by all of these actions." "I don't know what you mean," she giggled, brushing the hair back out of her eyes as her cheeks flushed red. "Don't worry," he sighed, rolling his eyes up towards the ceiling.

I'm assuming this is a convention that comes from somewhere, given its ubiquity - perhaps somewhere in the world of fanfiction, where there will be short, intimate pieces entirely focused on the ways in which characters interact with each other. But to me, in an original work, it's so exhausting that I can't make it down the rest of the page.

Dialogue may be the worst, or most obvious offender, but the same principle extends pretty much everywhere else. Each line doesn't have to be some great quote you can hang on your wall, and it's hard to read a whole story written like that.

There's been some recent backlash on here against modern films where every line of dialogue is a quip, at the expense of building an authentic conversation, but that's how a lot of people start out writing - thinking that each sentence should be made as flowery as possible, when too many flowers in the same pot will crowd each other out.

You need to leave some gaps to let the sunlight in, and illuminate the beauty of the occasional flourish you do include. Think of it like vanilla extract, to make a reference that was topical when I started writing this post: you need to add a little for flavour, without which the writing will be too dull, but tip the bottle and I will actually be sick. Write beautifully less. Learn to embrace the prosaic.

NOTE TO SELF-SLOW THE FUCK DOWN!

EVERY SINGLE PERSON WHO REBLOGS THIS WILL GET THE FOLLOWING IN THEIR INBOX.

A BRIEF ORIGIN STORY

A SUPERPOWER OR THREE, MAYBE FOUR DEPENDING

A SUPERHERO OR VILLAIN NAME

YOU MIGHT ALSO GET AN ARCHNEMESIS WHO HAS REBLOGGED THIS ALREADY

AND YES I MEAN EVERY SINGLE PERSON WHO REBLOGS THIS.

thank god for the mythbusters though because it used to be that whenever i knew i had insomnia i’d just kind of accept it and stay up doing whatever until my morning classes and spend the day feeling like shit

but then they did an episode where they established that even just fucking laying there for a half hour, not even sleeping just laying there and not even for an hour, makes a significant difference and you’ll feel way better

it has made a huge difference in my life to know that it’s okay if i can’t fall asleep, it takes a lot of the pressure off and ironically helps me fall asleep better

We need to run.

For president

Of Candyland.

Hey man, are you ok? The post your gf made about sending positive vibes sounds like you’re not doing too well. I hope you’re ok, and if you’re not I hope you are soon 💛

I went to do a procedure at the doctors today, before that I fasted for 2 days straight, no foods, no soups, no nothin. and I am SCARED of medical things. but now I am back and I am weak. You have 20 hours before I regain my power.

Was she wrong though?

For my personal reference.

How To (Realistically) Make A Habit Of Writing

To clarify: Works with my autism. WORKS WITH MY AUTISM!!! I’ve been meeting my goals since I made them my New Year’s resolution! Anyway I’m so sick of all those ‘how to’ guides that don’t actually tell you what the process is they’re just like ‘just do it, but don’t burn yourself out, do what’s best for you!’ because you’re not telling me what I’m not supposed to be burning myself out over but okay, so I made my own. Hope this helps

1. Choose your fighter metric. What works better for you as a measurement of your progress; time spent writing or your word count? Personally I get very motivated and encouraged by seeing my word count go up and making a note of where it should be when I’m done, so I measure by that. At the same time, a lot of people are also very discouraged by their word count and it can negatively impact their motivation to write, and in that case you may be better off working from how much time you spend writing rather than where the word count is

2. Choose your starter Pokémon time frame. How often can you write before it starts to feel like a chore or a burden rather than something fun you look forward to? Many people believe that they have to write daily, but for some people this can do more harm than good. Maybe every two or three days? Weekly? Figure out what fits your schedule and go with it

3. Choose your funny third joke goal. Now that you’ve got your chosen time frame to complete your goal in, what’s a reasonable goal to aim to complete within that time frame based on the metric you chose? If your metric is your word count, how much can you reasonably and consistently write within your chosen time frame? If your metric is time spent writing, how much time can you reasonably and consistently spend writing within that time? Maybe 1000 words per week works, or maybe 10 minutes per day? The goal here is to find something that works for you and your own schedule without burning you out

4. Trial and error. Experiment with your new target and adapt it accordingly. Most people can’t consistently write 1667 words per day like you do in NaNoWriMo, so we want to avoid that and aim somewhere more reasonable. If you feel like it’s too much to do in such a short time frame, either give yourself less to do or more time to do it in. If you find yourself begrudgingly writing so often that it constantly feels more like a chore than something fun, maybe consider adapting things. And if you think that you gave yourself too much wiggle room and you could do more than this consistently, give yourself more of a challenge. Everything needs to suit you and your pace and needs

5. Run your own race. Don’t feel like you’re not accomplishing enough in comparison to others or not working fast enough to satisfy some arbitrary feeling of doubt. Everybody works at their own pace and slower work doesn’t mean worse work. You could be on one word per day and you’ll still see consistent results, which is still one word per day more than you could originally count on. All progress is progress, regardless of its speed

The irony of God's law being in schools full of hungry children. The futility of his commandments being in schools full of illiteracy. The uselessness of churches who refuse the poor. The sacrilege of Christians praising the rich even above their God.

The irony...