Alleycat Gives Unsolicited Advice

Men invented dueling so they could shoot hot loads into eachother

"immortality sucks because all your friends die" all your friends die anyway. those we do not mourn are those who mourn us.

"immortality sucks because you forget who you are" we always forget who we are. do you remember who you were at four years of age? who you were at fourteen? "who i am" is a shadow cast on the wall.

"immortality sucks because" skill issue. skill issue. skill issue. give me your liver

futbol heritage

my favorite era in history is the one where people discovered you could make cartoons out of typography and newspapers would run articles that were just like “today dennis the intern figured out how to draw a dog with the typewriter so here it is”

i have such a profound hate for stories that go 'what if just some guy like literally just some guy was thrown into these horrible circumstances with huge stakes' and then take it back and go 'haha he is not just some guy, he's the specialest little boy in the planet, last in a long line of specialest little boys, it was in his blood all along'

Lord, grant me the strength to throw away this box that i'll never use, the courage to throw away this box that i'll never use, and the wisdom to throw away this box that i'll never use

💙

HEAR ME OUT

otp : *stares at each other for longer than five seconds*

me: *buzzfeed unsolved voice* that being said, let’s get into the ThEoRIeS

We never got to see their uniforms :')