*moans*

nerdy + hot = herdy

The fact Bucky took his date to a science expo was so nerdy and hot of him.

electric

pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

summary: Flirtationship has a different meaning with Bucky, and his patience doesn’t last long when it comes to you. 

warnings: unprotected sex (18+), teasing, nudity, semi-public fingering, oral sex, fucking against a window, ass grabbing and a couple of spanks, some orgasm denial, swearing, alcohol use but the sex is all consensual 

word count: 6.3k

a/n: This is some gratuitous smut that I wrote a while ago! It’s mostly proof-read. Feedback is always appreciated!!

masterlist

“If you squat any lower he might just have a heart attack.” Natasha’s quip comes from beside you and you fight the urge to face her. Don’t dare risk the chance of catching Bucky’s gaze from the corner of your eye. 

As the weather shifted to summer, it wouldn’t be long before the glaring sun and burning heat became far too overwhelming. So when the sun shone bright with a cool breeze, the Compound gym was ignored with ease in favour of the spacious lawns. 

Yoga mats are laid out as the sun rises closer to its peak, and you and Natasha are quick to move from stretches to simple exercises with resistance bands pulled taut around your thighs. 

Keep reading

Ughhh I need this in a book

4 • Operation: The Party ... The After Party & Late Night Strolls | OPERATION: FAKING IT ...?

4 • Operation: The Party … The After Party & Late Night Strolls | OPERATION: FAKING IT …?

Description: Horrible politicians, a nosey Natasha & a very important question for Bucky during a game of Truth or Dare. Will you & Bucky finally share your feelings?

Pairing: Beefy Bucky Barnes x Female Avenger Reader

Word Count: 9k

Warnings: Cute Bucky, swearing, discussions of injury, guns, suggestive language, 18+, there's some rubbing & thumb sucking, (no smut yet).

A/N: I have been told to not apologise for the word count so I'm not! FYI, lets just pretend that the puppies in the pictures below are the same, there are not enough photos of Sebastian Stan with puppies on the internet! Also let me know if you spot the Lana Del Rey lyric.

Series Masterlist

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Turns out Tony did manage to find a ‘publishable’ photo despite making you look through each one pointing out all the tongue shots with a running total, he stopped counting after 47, you thought it was hot & he really wasn’t impressed when you emailed a select few to yourself. Once the photos hit the media they did the news rounds, people seemed genuinely excited & it seemed to quash any rumblings of the whole thing being fake. Fake, you hated that word, no matter how it all came about your feelings towards Bucky were as real as they come & the little family you two had forged was real, every day you were happy because of him. How is that fake?

Whatever purgatory your actual relationship found itself in you decided to just let it be, you wanted more but understood if you weren’t enough for him, either way you’d enjoy the closeness & kissing whilst it lasted. You had been spending all your time with him since your dinner date, Bucky used whatever excuse he could to see you, he would climb into your bed every morning after taking Burtie out for his morning bathroom visit & he would turn up at your lab most days to hang out whilst you worked, your productivity levels were at an all-time low but being snuggled up out of view of the security camera with your super solider & pup you didn’t care, Tony brought this on himself as far as you were concerned.

There were no further kisses since the restaurant due to lack of excuses, apart from when Bucky claimed he needed some of the lip balm you had just applied, despite questioning how licking it off your lips helped his own, you didn’t complain, you may have reapplied hoping for a repeat, which of course worked like a charm.

Bucky went weak at the knees at the picture you sent & practically abandoned the weights in the gym to get to you, he had to physically restrain himself when you were waiting for him having not changed. Once you threw yourself into his arms he felt how soft the fabric was & now all he wanted to do was fall asleep with his head in your lap & have you run your fingers through his hair as he snuggled into you.

Burtie watched all the bright lights of the drive thru with fascination & wiggled in excitement on your lap at the smells invading the car, he of course charmed the pants off Debbie your server & earned himself a bonus nuggie. You & Bucky took turns eating & holding your very eager puppy trying to munch on anything in sight, you kept trying to sneak him fries but Bucky would wrestle it from you before you got to him. You knew he was right, but it didn’t stop you sulking, you just wanted Burtie to love you, so would give him anything he wanted even if it was bad for him. 

You had recently fallen into a routine of late-night snacks & walks to tire Burtie out before bed so once you got back to the tower you grabbed a jacket & you both headed to the park. Summer evenings in New York were always your favourite, the heat subsides & channels of soft breezes travel through the skyscrapers, the Super Solider with his hand joined with yours always took these moments with the reverence they deserved, although not as quiet as Wakanda, he still felt the peace he associated with his time there wash over him each night. You were his peace, he could be on a battlefield with atomic bombs being dropped from the sky & one look at you would silence all the noise, you would eclipse all the horror surrounding him & beckon him to peace like a siren calling him to the depths of the ocean, he'd drown for you.

--

In true Tony Stark fashion, he decided your third operation would be at one of his infamous parties, there would be a lot of press in attendance & that was his entire excuse under the guise that it was a birthday party for the head of robotics assistant. Everybody bought it.

Unfortunately, part of Tony’s parties always included the bit where you had to find a dress, naturally Nat insisted on joining you on the search, you usually made a day out of it, you did try & protest her tagging along because you knew Tony had arranged a fitting at a boutique rather than ‘lowering yourself to an off the rack number’. She rolled her eyes at you once you made it clear that it would be a whistle stop trip because you had a super solider warming your bed with your dog & you wanted cuddles. 

The plush interior of the boutique was in complete contrast to the grey run-down street it lived on, rich purple velvets lined the walls with chandeliers that made your head spin when you contemplated how they changed all the bulbs, maybe Tony should send Peter to assist next time they needed replacing. You were both greeted with champagne & canapes whilst the room was prepared, colourful fabrics adorned every available surface & all of the dresses on mannequins lined up were breath-taking, but completely OTT for a party held by Tony Stark. The seamstress Valentina ushered you into the fitting room & led you to the pedestal in the centre surrounded by 360 degree mirrors, after discussing fabrics, style & occasions you would need dresses for she got to work with her measuring tape & very firm fingers contorting your limbs & body to her whim whilst she shouted out numbers to her assistant busily scribbling them down.

Natasha sat on the plush tub chair sipping on champagne whilst she watched on in fascination from the moment you set foot in the place, ‘Why has Tony done all this for you just for a party?’

You knew the interrogation was inevitable, you hadn’t been avoiding her as such, but you were spending so much time with Bucky it just naturally meant less with your other friends, so with her finally getting you one on one it was bound to happen ‘You know how he is Tash, I am his first born.’

‘True, but you usually just go to a store & buy your dress on his card, something isn’t adding up, is Bucky proposing or something? Although why would Tony care about that?’

You almost spat out your champagne at the ridiculousness of her statement, one, that wasn’t remotely what was going on & two Bucky wouldn’t ever propose to you like that, it would be far too flashy & attention seeking for either of you … not that you had thought about it at all. What kind of spy was she?

‘Fuck no, why would you think that & on what planet would he ask me like that?’

‘So, you’ve thought about it, I can tell from your face, such a public setting is so not Bucky or you for that matter.’

Fuck, maybe she’s better than you gave her credit for.

As Valentina continued measuring every single inch of your body you noticed your phone light up on the table next to Nat, being the nosey friend she was, her eyes homed in on it.

‘You got a text from Bucky Bear.’ She looked disgusted at herself for saying it.

‘Whaaat? Look at that man & tell me he’s not a big teddy bear.’

‘Not to me, but I’m not you, never were.’ She was so dismissive in her tone, but it was a pointed comment with something deeper behind it.

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

‘I may have drunkenly made a pass at him once & he very politely turned me down, his reasonings were logical but I knew they were a lie, he has an obvious tell. I always thought he was just into someone else, turns out it was you.’

‘Shit Natasha, you should have said if you were into him, I would have been your wing man, it definitely wasn’t me who he was into. Maybe he didn’t know you wanted that, he’s oblivious to those kinds of things, I’d have talked to him for you, he’d listen to me.’

‘hmmm’ her eyes narrowed, ‘why are you so adamant that he wasn’t into you? He clearly was, he always followed you around like a lost puppy. You’re saying you would have set me up with Bucky, the guy you’re with now so if you had & it had worked out between us you wouldn’t be with him now’

Shit.

‘Well, not now obviously but back whenever you did.’

‘So, you didn’t like him too? What changed?’ alarm bells were going off in your head, the truth could set you free of her interrogation, maybe just not all of it.

‘No, I could see he was hot I mean I have eyes, but I’d put him in the friend category knowing he’d never go for someone like me, but sometimes you look at someone close enough & realise that they’re the best person you know. Look, I know I’m a lot, most guys just go through me to get to you or get sick of me before they get to meet you, but I never get that feeling from him, he likes being around me, I try to rein it in for his sake, but I know he’d probably tell me if I was annoying him instead of just ghosting me or dumping me in the middle of a road trip to see the world’s biggest cowboy hat at the side of the road … or whatever.’ You shrugged your shoulders hoping the little pout would work on Nat as well, so she’d drop it, baring your soul & all your hang-ups to people sure was a downer. You felt heavy, like you just wanted to curl up in Bucky’s arms, safe & sound, the realisation that he was your comfort dawned on you, what would happen when this was all over, could you still go to him?

‘Who the hell did that & why didn’t you tell me?’ oh you made her mad, not good.

‘I knew you’d go after him with Bucky & the last thing you two need with the general public is a controversy over some idiot. Tony would flip, so I kept it to myself, Tony picked me up & we went to see it.’

You didn’t see her gaze narrow at your choice of words, you didn’t seem to care about their public image the day you made Bucky break into the funfair & go on all the rides after hours, so why would you care now? You were too busy retrieving your phone & checking your message from Bucky to notice her intense focus on you, he had sent the most adorable selfie with Burtie.

Natasha watched your face light up as you bounced on your feet presumably texting Bucky back, something wasn’t adding up & she was determined to get to the bottom of it.

‘Why did you have a meeting with PR & Tony last week?’

The room suddenly started heating up, ‘Nat what are you getting at?’ deflect, deflect, deflect, you would have to come clean eventually but not yet, you liked pretending with Bucky & having him glued to your side all the time, you didn’t want it to end.

‘What is going on? I can read you like a book, you were a beam of sunshine replying to him, then I ask a question & I can see steam coming out of your ears from you thinking so hard, something is going on, you would have said something about dating him, it’s all too sudden & weird with the moving into the tower to then move in together, meetings with PR, custom gowns Tony insists you have, ice cream on tap that only you & Bucky can have ...’

You interrupted ‘I asked for the ice cream.’

‘But why would he give you that & Bucky specifically?’

‘Bucky likes Ice cream, I wanted him to have something nice. Tony gives me whatever I want’ You gestured around with your arms to your surroundings.

‘You don’t want any of this.’

‘Why do you have such a problem with me & Bucky? Are you jealous that he didn’t say yes to you?’ Low blow, you regretted it immediately, Bucky didn’t go for you either, but it might stop her.

‘I couldn’t ever compete with you so no, I just wanted someone for the night, I knew he would be a good fuck so went for it.’

You cringed at her words hating that she thought of Bucky like that … like you do. ‘There’s nothing to compete with.’

‘That, that is exactly what I mean when I say something isn’t right. You say he’d never go for someone like you, there’s nothing to compete with, all the self-deprecating shit. But he did go for you, why are you saying that?’

You shrug, ‘I guess it’s hard getting out that mentality when you’re used to every guy you date using you to get to Natasha Romanoff, to never really want you, for you to never be good enough.’ Your eyes glossed over & you tried to blink away some tears, turning on the waterworks always got Nat off your back.

‘Honey, you could ask that man to saw his arm off, get him to slap himself with it & he’d say thank you, he’s that gone for you. There is something more going on & you’re not telling me, fine, but know that you are good enough for anyone if you have deemed them good enough for yourself, because most of them aren’t even in the realm of deserving you, Bucky included. As for him not wanting you, that dude has a boner every time you’re in his lap which is 24/7 at the moment, I’m surprised he’s not fainted.’

Thankfully Valentina reappeared & put an end to Nat’s probing questions, you managed to stay on casual topics of discussions but felt so shitty for lying & accusing her of being jealous, there was literally nothing to be jealous about.

Bucky watched as you removed layer after layer of clothes stripping down to the sinfully tight shorts & t-shirt you made sure to wear for your fitting, something was on your mind, he could tell the second your smile didn’t reach your eyes when you stomped into the bedroom, once you had crawled into the warm cocoon he had maintained all morning & settled you let out a big sigh.

‘What’s wrong Bambi?’ he pulled you directly on top of him, it always thrilled you how he managed to manhandle you with such ease, he was so warm & held you firmly in place with your head tucked under his chin running his fingers up & down your spine, Burtie was curled up next to him giving you little kisses as you stroked him absentmindedly.

You shrugged, ‘Just feel like shit lying to Nat, she kept asking questions trying to find out what’s going on, she saw we went into a meeting with the PR.’

‘What lies have you actually told her?’ He really didn’t want to suggest letting the others in on the mission because then he’d have no excuse to pull you on to his lap all the time, he wouldn’t be able to stare at you all the time without anyone thinking he was being a creep. Once he worked out how to ask you to be his girl then it wouldn’t matter but for now keeping up with the façade in front of your friends meant he got the maximum time with you.

‘None technically, but I did accuse her of being jealous that you’re with me which is so dumb because you’re .. you’re not really.’ Your sentence tapered off at the end, you hated saying out loud despite it being true.

‘I dunno Doll, sort of feels like you’re with me right now.’ He squeezed you & placed a kiss on your head, ‘Why would she be jealous?’

‘Because she hit on you once.’

He chuckled at that, ‘I don’t think she did.’

‘Yeah she did, she said she tried to sleep with you because she thought you’d be a good…’ you stuttered saying it to him.

‘A good what Bambi?’

‘A good … fuck, you didn’t know she was trying to sleep with you?’ well that explains why he turned her down, you thought, he didn’t even know she was hitting on him. 

‘No.’

‘After all this I can have a word with her about it … if you want.’

‘Why would I want that?’

‘Dunno, Nat is like the ideal woman, most guys go for her or try to anyway.’

‘Natasha isn’t the one I want моя любовь (my love)’

‘oh, ok.’

‘Any way enough about her, you’ve not told any lies so don’t feel bad. She’s being too nosey. How was your fitting?’

‘Good, there was this fabric that I chose that will make me look like C3PO.’

‘You’d look amazing in a paper bag красивая’(beautiful)

‘Thanks Bucky Bear, can you believe she said you weren’t a big teddy bear too.’

‘I’m not, just for you Doll.’

You looked up at him ‘Just for me?’

‘You think I’m like this with anyone else?’

You shrugged your shoulders.

‘Well I’m not, only for you.’

You beamed at him, ‘If I asked you to chop off you arm & slap yourself with it would you do it?’

He laughed & did his nose scrunch thing that you loved so much, ‘where did that come from Bambi?’

‘Just something Nat said.’

He looked down at you as you looked up at him, your head still resting against his chest, ‘yeah I probably would, please don’t ask though.’

‘Never.’

‘Promise?’

‘Promise.’

You leaned upwards & nuzzled your nose into his jaw, Bucky held you tighter & leaned down to kiss you delicately, there wasn’t a camera or excuse in sight.

‘we should watch a movie, have you eaten?’

You were tucked back into his neck trying to stifle the smile spreading on your face, you were tempted to wiggle your hips to see if the other theory Nat had was accurate. 

---

Better late than never, right? The party was in full swing when you finally arrived, getting glammed up for an event felt almost like a workout with The Black Widow, you rejected Tony’s offer with great offence when he offered you a ‘team’ to help you, like you needed a team. Rude. You had hair removed, moisturised, preened, curled, makeup’d yourself to within an inch of your life, Valentina you discovered understood the assignment perfectly, the dress was stunning, a metallic gold almost chainmail type fabric sewn in a simple silhouette that fit you like a glove, dare you say you looked good. 

The black glittery floor sparkled like the night’s sky underneath the guests who had already taken to the dance floor, the up-tempo jazz number being played by the band complimented the buzzing atmosphere perfectly, the waiters were carrying trays of drinks amongst the sea of people & Tony Stark was lapping up all the attention of his sycophant yes men & the press hanging on his every word. A successful soiree in the eyes of Iron Man, he just needed the special guest to arrive, he had half an eye on the stairs most of the night so let out a relieved breath when you finally graced the room with your presence.

It was easy to spot your Super Solider at the bar when you scanned the crowd, he stood out in all his glory, tall, dark & handsome. The black suit he wore was tailored to his shape wonderfully, highlighting his broad shoulders & tapering down to his slim waist, whilst his trousers were strained from his gloriously thick thighs, topping it all off his hair was slicked back showing off every inch of his pretty face, he had you melting into a puddle on the floor, he looked so fucking hot. 

When he spotted you, his eyes lit up & a broad smile crossed his face, he was the most beautiful person you had ever seen, a claim that Bucky would dispute until the day he died seeing you in your gold sparkly dress, curled bouncy hair & flawlessly beautiful smile, you looked like a fucking Oscar. This was the perfect excuse to kiss you again, there were cameras everywhere & although he would have to control his hands & cock he wouldn’t pass up the opportunity to connect his lips with yours again, he praised the lord you weren’t wearing red lipstick so that he could kiss you silly all night without ruining your makeup.

He made his way towards the bottom of the stairs where you met him, he took your hand in his & placed a kiss on your knuckles.

‘Hi Bambi.’

‘Hi Bucky.’

He was right in front of you as you stood on the first step, you were at eye level with the gorgeous man for a change thanks to the step & exceptionally high heels that you couldn’t wait to ditch, his arm snaked around you holding you firmly & as per the norm his lips were at your ear.

‘You look absolutely breath-taking Doll.’ You pulled back a little, so that you could see him in all his glory.

‘Thank you, you look so handsome.’ His scrunchy face smile made you want to cry it was so sweet, you couldn’t resist pinching his chin & as his hands brought you closer to him his eyes were focused on your lips.

‘I think we should kiss now … for the cameras.’

Nodding eagerly at him you hadn’t even noticed all of the eyes that had been focused on you since your arrival let alone the cameras pointing in your direction.

Your lips met, somewhat respectfully for a public place, you’d lost count of how many kisses you had shared at this point but each one somehow felt different than the last, this one was long, tender with just a smidgen of desperation conveying how much you both missed being connected to each other, you decided right then & there that the right amount of time between kisses was 0.165 seconds not days like the torture you had just endured.

Tony rolled his eyes after he witnessed the first kiss & you clearly giving Bucky an excuse for another the way he went in on you for the next, he did believe you when you said nothing had happened, but he felt more uneasy at that, than if you had. You two were oblivious to the feelings you shared & he wanted to knock your heads together to get you to see sense.

Having remembered you were in a public setting you retracted your tongue from Bucky’s mouth & with his firm arm around your waist he plucked you off the step, turned around & placed you on the floor with a kiss on the nose. He brushed his hand down your arm & weaved his fingers through yours then headed towards the bar with you in tow where you friends were gathered.

‘Lady Tiny, you look simply wonderful tonight.’ 

‘Thanks sparkles, you too.’ You reached up to Thor to give him a hug but with Bucky not letting go of your hand it was an awkward half hug & he made sure to swiftly pull you back to his vicinity after.

He practically growled ‘Let me get you a drink Doll.’ into your ear

‘I’ll have a watermelon paloma please.’ You waited at the bar whilst your drink was being prepared, Bucky snaked his arms around you & leaned his head on your shoulder. If people didn’t know you were taken before Bucky sure was making it obvious, your feminist ideologies regarding possessive men were being firmly overruled by your inner cavewoman wanting him to take you right there on the dancefloor so everyone knew who belonged to. Not that he would.

Even with a Bucky shaped barnacle attached to you, you were enjoying catching up with your friends & wider colleagues that you didn’t get to see very often, Tony interrupting the festivities irritated you no end, ‘Bonnie, Clyde you’re with me.’ You rolled your eyes at the thought of being paraded round the higher ups like you were a show pony, unfortunately it was part of the gig, your least favourite part but you plastered on a smile & held out your hand to Senator Graham. 

Instead of shaking he went in for the kiss, his damp lips on your knuckles made you shudder & Bucky was practically on the verge of swinging for him before you retracted your hand, whipping it on Bucky’s suit in disgust, his arm was quick to secure you to his side.

You knew politicians were awful people, but this guy was the worst, anything that came out of his mouth had your skin crawling & your eye twitching with rage, how Tony could associate with these monsters was beyond you, he did look horrified at some of the statements but the Senator somehow managed to surpass the previous one in tactlessness each time.

Unfortunately, he decided to be bold with a question pointed at you ‘I’m just curious, all eyes are on you this evening, you’re an avenger, I’m told highly intelligent, you could have any guy you wanted. Why him?’

Bucky was squeezing your hand trying to get you to focus on him & not the rage you felt was currently on the brink of spewing out.

You gritted your teeth trying to form some words that didn’t get you arrested, ‘You speak about him as though he’s not here, not human?’

‘Some would think an assassin who was responsible for the deaths of countless people isn’t.’

‘Doll, it’s fine. It was nice meeting you sir.’ He sounded so defeated & so incredibly belittled.

‘Could you be ruder to my team Graham?’ Tony was mortified that someone would speak about Bucky that way, yes, he had his issues at first, but it didn’t take long for him to recognise that Bucky wasn’t the man that killed his parents, he was a victim just as much as his parents were.

‘No, it’s not Bucky.’ You narrowed your eyes at Senator Graham ‘this man is without doubt the bravest person I have ever met, he’d lay down his life for me without question, hell he’d do it for you because he’s inherently a good man. He was tortured for 70 years because he was left behind by his comrades, presumed dead & I can’t imagine how many times he wished he were when Hydra we’re breaking him, I’ve read the files, I know how long it took them. He’s stronger than me & I have no doubt he’s stronger than you, you would have snapped like a twig. So, lets see, brave & strong, he’s caring, loyal, he protects me & let’s face it the most gorgeous man in the room, he makes me laugh & he puts up with me. He's worth a million of you. Also, FYI, the serum enhances EVERYTHING.’ You wiggled your brows whilst Bucky looked proud of himself, god he loved you so fucking much, it was bursting out of him at this point.

‘Night Graham it was a displeasure to meet you. ’You grabbed Bucky & walked away, his arms were around you & he pressed himself to you firmly with his head at the back of your neck.

‘You didn’t have to say all that Bambi.’

‘Yes, I did, there wasn’t one single lie in what I said … & I just assumed the serum thing.’

‘I was already enhanced before the serum darlin’ He pressed further into you & you lost all feeling in your legs. ‘Come dance with me sweetheart.’

You felt like you were floating, fuck living in reality, you could just stay in this version of your life where you were Bucky’s girl & he made your stomach explode with butterflies at every touch.

You danced & drank & laughed & kissed until you were being dragged upstairs by the others, neither you or Bucky wanted the event to end because you had free reign to be with each other to your heart’s desire, all the excuses were lined up every time ready for your lips to meet.

---- 

The lounge lights were dimmed when you all gathered back together having changed from your formal clothes into your comfies, you had some fluffy socks, ribbed leggings & Bucky’s hoodie on, all he wanted to do was feel what was underneath when he saw you in it, he suspected nothing. Although people vied to be invited to one of Tony’s prestigious parties very few knew about the after parties & even fewer were invited, this was strictly reserved for the team & Burtie of course.

It was more like a family debrief post party than a party, everyone would relax, share some drinks & gossip about who hooked up earlier in the night, occasionally it would get wild with drinking games & it would seem Natasha was up for the latter this particular evening.

‘Roll up, roll up, roll up, shots for us mortals, Asguardian Ale for the God & Super soldiers, spring water for the puppy, it’s truth or dare time.’

Your eyes immediately found Bucky’s, shit. He had taken a seat on the armchair in front of you & pulled you onto his lap, ‘It’s ok Bambi, relax.’ he snuggled you further into him & brushed some hair out of your face. 

Of course, the first spin landed on him, Natasha seemed to take up the maestro role with vigour, ‘Ok Buckaroo, what changed things with Bambi? What moment did you think ‘I want to fuck her’ rather than be her friend?’  You rolled your eyes & didn’t miss the shift of legs under you at the question.

‘Seriously Nat?’ Steve was blushing at her terminology.

‘What? I want to know what he loves about my friend, I haven’t approved of this yet so there’s a few things I need to know.’

You knew what she was trying to do, it was sort of sweet, but Nat didn’t do sweet, so you knew there was an ulterior motive to it.

‘What do I love about her, do you have a notepad? What changed? I opened my eyes one day & saw someone who I would do anything for, no matter how ridiculous.’

Without pause Natasha stated matter of factly ‘We’d all do that for her.’ 

‘Hear hear.’ You smiled at your friends, family all raising their glasses & lingered on Tony for everything he’d done for you.

‘Ok, I’d kill anyone of you to save her, without a second thought.’

Her eyebrow shot up ‘Steve included?’

With a single nod he confirmed ‘Steve included.’ Your eyes found Steve across the coffee table & saw the fondness he held for his friend, there was no malice in the look, he almost looked proud of him. Suck it Rogers, you’ve been replaced.

Bucky bent forward & span the bottle, being that you were sat in his lap you folded over as he did it, his broad chest pressed against you & he couldn’t help peppering kisses up your spine as you both moved back into your previous position. You shifted your legs desperate for some friction which Bucky noticed & as he guided you back to his chest his hands made their way underneath your jumper & he held your waist, the contrast in temperature between his hands set your skin on fire.

The bottle span all the way around the table typically landing on you.

You giggled knowing Bucky would be asking you the question ‘Truth’

He playfully tickled your sides whilst he came up with his question ‘What do you love most about me Bambi?’

‘Yawn, boring. What does Bucky like in bed?’ you knew Nat would be after salacious details.

You smirked knowing how annoyed she would be with your answer ‘Movies, pizza & cuddles.’ You could feel Bucky nodding his head behind you laughing at you outsmarting the former assassin.

‘Correct answer kid.’ Tony doffed an imaginary hat to you & you twirled your hand to him like you were both Victorian aristocrats. 

You tipped your head to the side to answer the original question ‘& the thing I love most about you is how safe & cherished I feel whenever we’re together.’

As you leant forward towards the bottle Bucky held you in a tighter grip, you turned back to him & the look in his eyes took your breath away, dare you think it was love? He placed a languid kiss on your lips, softer than any kiss you had shared, so relaxed & natural as if you had been kissing him all your life. When his grip loosened slightly you wriggled out of his grasp & span the bottle, again it went past all the other players & landed on Bucky.

You rolled your eyes ‘Is this thing rigged?’

Quick as a flash Natasha answered arousing further suspicions ‘Nope.’

Having replaced his hands underneath your hoodie higher up than before you could feel your heart rate picking up, he nuzzled into the back of your neck & in his deep quiet voice he made his choice.

‘Truth Bambi.’

You wiggled on his lap in thought, ‘Mmmmm’ his grip on you tightened & as he removed one hand from your side he grazed your nipple with his vibranium finger, your breath hitched & your thighs clenched together from the sensation. He brushed your hair off one shoulder, so he had some available skin to place his lips & his hand returned to your body. If he moved it higher he could cup your flesh fully, you were desperate for this man & as much as you loved sharing a bed you wanted a night to yourself & your imagination to work out these frustrations.

Sam interrupted your sinful thoughts with one of his own.

‘How many rooms have y’all christened?’ The whole room practically groaned.

‘None.’ You answered for Bucky.

‘Take a shot, you lyin’.’ He was gleefully pointing at the pair of you.

‘No, I’m not.’

‘I just want to know what not to sit on.’

‘I told you none, I’m a good girl’ you felt Bucky shift underneath you & you couldn’t help a glance back to him, if you weren’t already turned on, the look on his face would have you dripping in an instant. A quick flick of his wrist & the bottle finally landed on someone else leaving you & Bucky a private moment.

He whispered into your neck ‘What does Sam’s question mean Bambi?’

‘He was asking how many rooms have we had sex in’

‘Oh’ he couldn’t help thinking that answer would be changing very quickly if you looked at him like that again, he pulled you back to his chest & wrapped both arms around you & you rested yours against his, he was trying to control himself but with you sat directly on his cock constantly wiggling around it was proving a challenge.

The game carried on with some other participants in the next few rounds, you discovered Thor cried when he watched Moana twice, Bruce once went full hulk during sex when she decided that choking him was a good idea, thankfully the woman was fine, the first time Steve had sex after being defrosted he lasted 18 seconds & Scott has a teddy bear he sleeps with every night called Mr Cuddles. You were enjoying your reprieve until it landed back on you. The bottle giveth & the bottle taketh away all dignity.

Hesitantly you grumbled ‘Truth’

Natasha didn’t hesitate ‘How did you get shot?’

Your eyes widened fuck ‘Ok, dare’ you stuck out your tongue. 

‘Ok Bambi, I dare you to tell Bucky & the group how you were shot.’ Crumbs, damn those street smarts, her smug look was your least favourite, only Tony & Nat knew how you were shot & you made them promise not to tell anyone else so this humiliation would be worse than just confessing it to Bucky, everyone would know. You were sure they’d have a secret vote to kick you off the team after this, Bucky would be on your side because duhh, Tony too but you doubted there would be any more when they realised what a dumb ass you were.

‘No fair.’ You pouted & crossed your arms, you could feel Bucky’s thumb stroking your scarred skin under your hoodie & comforting you as always. Ugh you loved him so much.

‘You can tell me sweetheart, I might have to hunt them down afterwards & teach them a lesson, but I won’t think any less of you. Promise.’

You turned to him to look him in his eyes ‘Promise?’

‘I promise darlin’’ he hooked his pinky finger in yours.

‘Ok fine.’ Bucky sat you both upright with his chin resting on your shoulder, he held you tightly trying to reassure you that he would be right here with you, although he would have to control his overwhelming need to find whoever did it & harm them. 

‘So, I was in the field when it happened.’ You recalled. ‘On a mission with Tony & Nat doing some reconnaissance, it was a typical hydra hideout at first sight, so I hacked the door mechanism to get us in the base & we quickly realised what there were agents still active, lots of them’ Bucky’s heart rate picked up at the mention of Hydra, he placed a kiss on your shoulder in attempt to self soothe, he thought that he couldn’t hate them more but to know they hurt the woman he loved was triggering his rage. 

Before continuing you reached to the back of Bucky’s neck with your hand to play with his hair, you noticed how tense he got when you mentioned his former captives, ‘& you all know I don’t really do combat type missions, so I was a bit nervous right because I was armed & I hate guns. So, we’re there all guns blazing or ‘flickering’ for me as Nat kept saying shooting the idiots, Tony kept telling me off every time I shot an agent which was pissing me off.’ You narrowed your eyes at him.

‘Kid, you kept shouting ‘that’s for Bucky mother fukka’ & giving them the finger, it was a tad distracting.’

Bucky squeezed you tightly, smiling from ear to ear, you were an actual angel, you glanced back at him smiling knowing how much he would have loved you doing that despite it giving away your position to anyone within earshot.

‘Anyway, I was on fire right, pow one guy down, pow another, I tripped over one of them but that was ok, my knee kind of hurt but hey they didn’t expect someone on the floor so pow got one in the ankle.’

‘I mean it was kind of amazing, she was like a beached whale wriggling about with a gun shooting anything in sight.’ Nat laughed recalling the memory.

 ‘Firstly, whale? ouch, I prefer to think that I looked like an elegant mermaid. But yeah, I deserve a medal of honour or something for that day, anyway so we swept the base, I got a few more ‘James Buchanan Barnes sends his regards.’ pow’s in, no finger, kept those ones classy.’ Bucky was giggling behind you, he could listen to you talk all day, you could read him the fucking dictionary & he would be in heaven but your stories no matter how wild & long were always his favourite.

‘So yeah, we completed the mission, got the information & then headed back to the quinjet.’

‘Wait, so how did you get shot?’ Steve looked at his whits end, he rarely listened to you recalling missions due to all the tangents you found yourself going off on, so waiting for the actual information was a massive test of his patience.

‘Oh, so we were walking back to the quinjet right & Tony was blasting some AC/DC so naturally I started air guitaring … with my gun, turns out the safety was off & I shot myself.’ You shrugged, you felt Bucky shaking with laughter whilst your friends were uncontrollably laughing at you, Scott actually fell on the floor. You pouted, ‘It hurt’. Bucky managed to stifle his laughter pulling you off him so that you were standing between his legs, he slowly lifted his hoodie & gently placed a soft kiss on your scar.

‘Better?’ 

You were rendered speechless & could only muster a nod before he pulled you back to his lap, Tony was watching you both thinking you were idiots hoping the next time it landed on either of you he would force a confession from you both.

-

You were more than drunk, everyone was feeling the shots & Ale, Bucky was particularly handsy & having ventured even higher north under your hoodie after discovering his assumption was correct & that you were braless his hands were almost cupping you, teetering on it, painfully so. Somehow the game hadn’t descended into complete chaos, but Tony had stormed up to his apartment after a particularly embarrassing question you had asked muttering something about how he didn’t get to ask his question. Like you weren’t going to bring up the knowledge that he subscribed to the onlyfeet website, you had acquired the information & had been sitting on it since seeing his credit card bill when Pepper was questioning your $10,000 donation to a petition to bring out a mustard topped hot dog emoji. She thought it was an unreasonable expense, you argued it was vital because that was Bucky’s hotdog order & he got mad with the sole ketchup option. Perfectly reasonable you thought & guess what, there is now a hotdog emoji with mustard, you’re welcome world.

The bottle landed on Bucky again, the group seemed to have run out of steam with their probing questions about the two of you, you realised that you’d never actually told them you were dating Bucky, they just assumed, so you hadn’t actually told them a single lie at any point, Bucky said the moving in one so every question you answered was answered truthfully but the question on your lips had been gnawing at you for days, chipping away at you in the back of your mind whenever Bucky held you or kissed you, it needed answering & you were just drunk enough to ask it. 

You were suddenly shy, you wouldn’t ever ask it without some form of alcohol involved for fear of humiliation, but you hesitantly turned to him, ‘k I’ve got a question, but gotta be private.’

You looked over you shoulder at Natasha winking in her direction, you knew she would allow it if she thought you were whispering a filthy sex related question, it wasn’t but you didn’t want anyone else hearing what you were so desperate to ask.

You straightened up, slightly wobbly trying to balance yourself on Bucky’s leg, when he worked out that you were trying to face him he picked you up by your waist, turned you around so you were straddling his thighs, he sat up to meet you upright & you draped your arms over his shoulder, his hands pulled you forward with your butt cheeks, your centre dragging deliciously against him in the process & your eyes fluttered shut in pleasure.

His lips found your neck & he slowly dragged them across your skin to your ear, you definitely were moving your hips & for once he wasn’t stopping you ‘I don’t remember sayin truth doll.’ His dominating tone had you tingling, you couldn’t imagine what it felt like to be on your knees for him whilst he told you exactly what to do & how he liked it doing.

You held his face in your hands to look him in the eyes, he could see the desperation in your eyes for whatever you wanted to ask him, you whispered ‘Say it.’ 

‘Truth.’

You leaned in placing your mouth at his ear, his arms protectively wrapped around you, he knew what you were about to say was only for him & he didn’t want anyone else in your bubble. He knew it wouldn’t be anything rude from the overexaggerated way you winked at Nat, you were so smart you could play the best of them like a fiddle even when drunk.

‘Bucky Bear?’

‘Yes Bambi?’

‘Do you think .. that… if..’

‘Ask me sweetheart, you can ask me anything.’

 You gulped & let out a shaky breath, now or never.

‘If … if I get a little prettier, can I be your baby?’

He pulled you away from his ear, your head clutched in his hands, he should have been jumping for joy, you literally asking to be his girl, the thing he was too afraid to do but why would you ask it like that? How could you think he would want anyone but you, that you weren’t pretty enough? He could see your eyes glossed over & he didn’t hesitate to pull your face to his & smash his lips to yours, you could hear everyone whooping & hollering at the show you were giving them as he put everything he had into kissing you, pulling you as close as you could get to him. 

‘Good practice kiss.’ You whispered against his lips.

‘That wasn’t a practice Bambi.’ He followed up with a tender kiss before he rested his head against yours. ‘You are the dumbest smart person I’ve ever known, been trying to show you that I want you to be my girl & that I fucking adore you, you know that Bambi?’

You shook you head as he ran his thumb over your lip, ‘you’re perfect, too good for me, too god damn sweet.’ He softly parted your lips, pushing his thumb into your mouth, you slowly latched around it, taking it deeper & sucking it, his eyes fluttered shut & he swore he was about to cum in his joggers just from this. Thankfully the others had lost interest & you two were left in your own little world, no one could see what you were doing with your body blocking the view of the fucked out Super Soldier you were currently sat on. ‘Fuck Bambi, you gonna be my good girl?’ with his vibranium hand he pulled you back & fourth on his lap, you could feel his hard length rubbing against your folds, the friction felt like every nerve in your body was being set alight. His eyes were dark watching you suck on his thumb & writhe on his lap looking so fucking fuckable.

You nodded as his lips were back at your neck trailing kisses up to your ear, you let out a quiet moan which was music to Bucky’s ears, he wanted to know what you sounded like when you were cumming on his cock, in his mouth, on his fingers.

‘You think I’d be this hard for someone who wasn’t the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen, someone who makes my heart stop every time they look at me, someone who I have to tear myself away from at times just to not fuck them senseless every second of the day.’ He pulled his thumb away from your mouth, his hand stroked up your side underneath his hoodie, fuck he loved you wearing his clothes, they moved higher & higher until he was cupping your flesh, his damp thumb toying with your nipple.

‘Well you do Bambi, my sweet baby girl, you’re mine.’

At those words your lips were melded together again, with his prosthetic palm firmly against your back he stood you both up from the sofa, ‘Bedtime Bambi.’ Without thought your legs were crossed behind his back, you plucked Burtie out of Scotts’s arms when Bucky lowered you to collect your puppy before marching out of the party, completely unashamed of the obvious erection he was sporting.

With Bucky pinning you against a wall every 10 steps to kiss some part of you, the walk back to your room was slow, his stubble stung your skin & the thought of it doing the same thing between your legs made you grind down on him the whole way. 

He slowly lowered you to the bed once you put Burtie down for the night, his whole body covered you & the combination of warmth & pressure had you in a trance, you always felt so safe with him, the prospect of your relationship changing after tonight didn’t worry you, it excited you like nothing else. You were his, he was yours.

He managed some sentences between kisses ‘We can do anything tonight, we’ve both been drinking, I’m not that kind of guy.’

You were so turned on by him you couldn’t help but sulk, you didn’t need to be sober to know this was what you wanted. You were protesting in your head trying to find a way to say it without sounding desperate.

‘Don’t you dare pout Bambi, thought you were going to be a good girl, my good girl’

You whispered, ‘I am your good girl.’

‘Then you need to know that it’s killing me to not fuck that pout off your face, to show you everything I’ve dreamt of doing whilst touching my cock every god damn minute of the day that I’m not with you.’ He rolled his hips into you hitting you right on your centre, the moan you exhaled could send Bucky to the grave it was so sinful.

‘That’s what you’ve been doing?’

‘Yes darlin’’ he leaned back in with a tender kiss.

‘That’s hot’

‘Glad you think so, do you touch yourself & think of me?’

‘Yes… all the time’

‘Fuck, I shouldn’t have asked that. Let me take you out on a date, one I can plan. Just you & me, then I’ll bring you back to my place & fuck you so hard you won’t be able to walk straight.’

‘Please touch me Bucky.’

‘Oh I love the sound of you begging for me … ‘

‘Please Sargent.’ You sounded desperate, you were desperate feeling this man’s length pressed against you.

‘Fuck Bambi.’ His resolve was crumbling quickly but he needed to do right by you, he had the rest of his life to have sex with you so one more night wouldn’t kill either of you, when it did happen he wanted to take his time, make sure you remember every touch every word he said when he worshiped you like you deserved. He doubled down & pulled away.

‘Let’s get some sleep darlin’, I’ll still be here tomorrow & every night after if you’ll take me.’

Your eyelids were getting heavier & you nodded, maybe you had more drinks than you thought. He shimmied you out of your leggings & you managed to get Bucky’s hoodie off over your head leaving you just in your panties.

He took the sight of you in, ‘Fuck, you’re perfect.’ He couldn’t help his hand reaching out & kneading your chest, toying with your nipples, he wanted to put his mouth around them.

‘Your turn.’ You felt so shy saying it, you knew nothing was happening tonight but seeing each other so bare was thrilling for you both, to be able to lie in each other’s arms completely exposed felt even more intimate than having sex would.

You watched in awe as Bucky stripped down to his boxers, ‘You’re so beautiful.’ You gently caressed the scarred skin, tracing down to his abs, his breath hitched the lower you went & it took all your strength not to touch his cock.

He pulled back the covers & waited for you to get into the bed first, once you had situated yourself he slid in behind you & cocooned you with the blanket making sure every inch of you was covered. He was still hard & you could feel him pressed against you, a wiggle of your hips had him groaning.

‘Bambi.’ His warning came out has a half moan half whine, it was exhilarating turning this big man into a moaning mess behind you.

‘What? I’m just getting comfy.’ You continued wiggling & toying with him, his hands held your hips & you could feel him pushing his into yours.

‘Sleep time, don’t make me go to my room.’ You ceased your movements & giggled at his very hollow threat.

‘I’ll be good. Promise.’ One last wiggle & you shut your eyes smiling as Bucky groaned behind you.

‘Night Bucky.’ 

‘Night Bambi.’

A/N: That hot dog petition is a real online petition!! Thank you for reading, your comments & feedback always make my day!!

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Ships with height differences. Reblog if you agree

I'm very new to posting here but please enjoy 4.1k words of soft Bucky smut!

Do It Properly

You’re not sure what wakes you in the end. Whether it’s a creaky floorboard, a rustling of your sheets or merely the change in the air that another person brings. Whatever the reason, you open bleary eyes and squint into the darkness, reaching for your phone to check the time. You only notice another presence in your bedroom when he clears this throat and steps forward to the end of your bed.

You let out a tiny ‘eep’ of surprise before your mind registers who the shadowy shape belongs to, but you recover quickly enough to ask, “Bucky?”

Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes; centenarian, former Winter Soldier and current cat-dad stands looking defeated by your feet.

“Hey,” he responds hoarsely, and you scramble for the switch on your lamp, desperate to see him properly.

The light starts low, gradually brightening the room as it warms up, bringing Bucky into visibility. He looks… well. You’ve seen him worse, definitely. He has this issue (you think it’s an issue, he doesn’t see the problem) in which he throws his whole body into fights with reckless abandon, his own well being taking a backseat when you’re not on missions to remind him that he should look after himself. That he needs to look after himself so he can come back home to you.

His right hand is bandaged which means it must have been pretty bad – they generally don’t bother wrapping up the super soldiers as most of their injuries have faded by the following morning, but it’s his face that really makes you gasp.

“Buck!” you whisper, horrified, as he shuffles forward, bashful under your gaze. “What happened?”

He shrugs off his jacket and you’re hit with the scent of gunpowder and smoke as he chucks it unceremoniously on the floor by the desk chair where Alpine is curled up. Al activates with an inquisitive puurp? arching his back in an elongated stretch to greet his daddy. Bucky turns to scritch the feline’s ears, rolling his shoulders at the same time. You take that to mean, don’t ask but you can’t ignore the angry red welts around his neck, the dark purple blooming under both eyes and Bucky’s wince when he huffs a laugh at Alpine when he kicks his back legs against his fingers as he tickles his tummy.

“Bucky…” you try again, shucking back the covers and reaching for his shoulder. You kneel on the bed and run your hand down his back soothingly, pretending that you’re not looking for further injuries. “You get your nose broken honey?”

Bucky ducks his head and looks at you through his eyelashes pitifully.

“Sam set it back already. Took the shield to the face,” he admits slowly, enjoying your touch as you ease the muscles in his shoulder and at the base of his neck with your fingers, searching out the pressure points that make him groan.

“Why, what’d you say?” you tease, gently.

Bucky huffs again, then cringes as it causes him pain, slumping close to lean on you.

“Wasn’t my fault,” he mumbles into your neck, pressing his forehead to your shoulder. His left hand comes up to play with the strap of your tank top and you shiver against the cool metal. “Steve doesn’t enunciate. He only warned me to duck after he threw the damned thing. Jerk didn’t stop laughing the whole way home.”

You press your lips together and stroke the back of his head, making sure he stays buried in your neck so he can’t see how you’re struggling to hide your amusement.

“And this? You get on Sam’s bad side too?” you stroke his neck lightly, brushing against the vicious bruising that decorates the delicate skin there. Bucky stiffens almost imperceptibly, and you realise that he can’t talk about it. Not yet anyway. You know he’ll come to you when he’s ready.

You heave a sigh and push at his shoulder until he straightens, tilting his chin up to look you in the eye. “You just let me know if I need to go kick bird-boy’s ass, yeah?” you grin, peppering kisses over his eyebrow, betting that it’s a pain-free area before pulling him close again.

“Thanks baby,” Bucky answers on a heavy sigh. You continue threading your fingers through the short hair at the nape of his neck, knowing the comfort of your touch is what he needs right now, rather than a dissection of his latest mission. You need the contact too, the physical reminder that he’s safe in your arms for the time being, though you make a mental note to ask the Captain why it looks like someone tried to garrotte your boyfriend. Honestly, what good is Steve if he’s not watching Bucky’s six when you’re not there?

You remain kneeling on the bed, letting Bucky use you as a crutch for as long as you can bare the weight of the 240-pound super soldier but eventually you have to push at his shoulder to get him to draw back. He harrumphs disappointedly but you know he’s not serious when his eyes drop from your face to skim along the length of your body, his right eyebrow raising appreciatively at the thin camisole and itty-bitty lace panties you’re wearing to counter the heat.

“Damn babydoll…” he begins, his hands hooking around the backs of your thighs to tug you along the bedspread, slightly closer to the edge. “You look good enough to eat.” He gives you a wolfish smile that has you admittedly a little weak in the knees and goes to duck towards your tits but you push at his forehead with a scoff.

“Uh-uh Barnes, don’t even think about it. You need a shower.” With your hands on his hips, he allows you to keep him at arm’s length while you slide from the bed and steer him towards your bathroom, his expression shifting from predatory to a dopey pleased grin as he allows you to take care of him.

“You gonna join me, sugar?” he asks, leaning against the sink as you turn the knobs and crank up the heat to a frankly dangerous degree because Bucky really doesn’t like the cold. You turn to catch him stifling a yawn into his fist, still fully dressed and you gesture at him impatiently.

“I don’t know, you gonna be able to keep your hands to yourself Sergeant?” You start unbuckling and tugging at his clothing, fighting with the supple leather that moulds to his arms as Bucky endeavours to stay awake. It’s a testament to how tired he actually is when you drop to your knees to wrestle his trousers down his legs and he doesn’t make a lewd joke, though you do see his half-hard length give a valiant twitch in his boxers before you tug those down too.

You help him into the shower, thankful that you don’t see any other bruising on his body but knowing that doesn’t mean he isn’t hurt before you go to gather his clothes up into your arms. You don’t get that far though, as the glass door slides back open behind you and you’re tugged into the near-scalding water still in your sleep clothes.

“Buck!” you squawk, pressing yourself away from the water ineffectually as the spray soaks the front of your vest anyway. He crowds you up against the tiles that are already slick with condensation, effectively ensuring that no part of you has stayed dry.

“Mmm, you said you’d join me…” he mutters into your shoulder, nuzzling against your damp skin as his hands play with the lace covering your backside.

“And you said you’d keep your hands to yourself,” you huff playfully, reaching for the bar of Imperial Leather soap because old habits die hard and for Bucky the saying is doubly true. You lather the soap between your fingers and start moving it along his shoulders and back where you’re able to reach.

“No…” he drawls, slipping his fingers beneath your panties to stroke over the skin of your hips and ass as he presses his now very interested cock against your lower stomach and rocks you against him. “I didn’t answer and you interpreted my silence as agreement,” he murmurs. “I was very careful about that.”

You draw back and are faced with his incredibly pleased smile, almost impish in his glee that he’s managed to wrangle you into the shower with him for him to do as he pleases. You don’t have the heart to shatter his illusion with the truth, that you’d follow him anywhere under any conditions.

He tickles the soft skin between your thigh and hip and you squeal. You love seeing this side of Bucky, almost child-like in his mischief, even if the activity that you’re doing is very adult.

“Hmm, very clever…” you muse, drawing the soap down his right arm before sliding it up the other, ridding his skin and left arm of two days of sweat and gunpowder before starting to work on his chest. Bucky lets you work for a few quiet moments, watching your movements with half lidded eyes. You glance up at him and snort at the expression on his face; he’s hard for you but obviously can’t decide if he’s more sleepy or horny.

“Relax Buck,” you implore, working soap over his hips and kneading the bone there before making your way down his lower back, eliciting a sinful moan when you hit a knot and the muscle releases.

Bucky mumbles something into the skin of your neck between sweet kisses and you use one hand to tilt his head to the side when you ask him to repeat himself.

“Magic hands,” he slurs, rocking himself in time with your ministrations. “Magic, angel hands. Y’so good to me darlin’.” He pulls back and busies himself with playing with the strap of your tank top. “Wanna be good to you too.” Bucky’s hands drift southward to the waistband of your underwear, dipping his fingers in and teasingly raking his nails over the sensitive skin of your pelvis.

You shudder and feel his cock jump in response. Abandoning your task, you let the soap slide from your grip, ignoring the dull clunk as it hits the porcelain of the tub and instead wrapping your hand around his length and giving him one firm stroke from root to tip.

Bucky grunts, his hips jerking forward towards you. His hand slips fully between your thighs and you let out a sigh when his clever fingers part your folds to trace over your clit gently. Your natural slick mixes with the hot water still beating down on you both creating a heavenly slide that Bucky uses to his advantage, his movements becoming slightly rougher as you pant in his ear.

“That’s it baby, that feel good?” his voice is gruff as your desire heightens and he dips his forefinger into your core up to the first knuckle just to feel you clench around him when he strokes over the top of your clit just right. “Mmm, certainly seems like it feels good.”

You just have the wherewithal to register the slightly mocking tone in your boyfriend’s voice and retaliate with another firm tug on his member, the soap suds lingering on your palm making the glide smooth and slick, cutting off the rest of his sentence when it devolves into a whine.

You continue to jerk him slowly, reveling in the stuttering mess that you’re able to reduce him to with such a simple touch.

“Mmm, so sensitive honey,” you coo into his ear, increasing your pace incrementally. Bucky is completely at your mercy, his hand slackening in your panties and the coil in his stomach tightening with your movements. He rocks upwards on a gasp before straightening and grabbing desperately at your wrist.

“Stop – stop,” he pants, squeezing the base of his dick to stave off the orgasm that had crept up unexpectedly. “Fuck, almost made me blow my load in your hand baby, shit.” Your giggle sets him off with a growl and Bucky hoists you up into his arms, shredding your underwear with a wolfish grin.

“Bastard,” you say playfully, nipping at his bottom lip as he steadies you on a convenient shelf that you’ve only needed to replace three times since Bucky moved in with you.

“You gotta learn doll, none of your underwear is safe around me.”

As if to prove his point Bucky grabs a fistful of your top at chest level and you can see the gears turn in his head as he gets ready to yank and separate the body from the straps –

“Wait!” you call, throwing out an arm to catch his. “Just gimme a minute, damn,” you mutter, peeling the offending piece of clothing from your body and letting it drop to the floor with a wet thwack. “Running out of pyjamas thank you very much, some hopped-up super soldier keeps shredding all my clothes.”

There’s no remorse on Bucky’s face as he eyes your tits hungrily and you wonder when you lost your soft, sleepy boyfriend to this sex-starved menace. Deciding to tease him just a little more, you cup your chest, stroking lightly over your nipples and watch as his pupils dilate fully.

Bucky feels barely restrained, watching as you enjoy the delicate grace of your own touch and damn near drooling, desperate to get his mouth on your tits. He’s captivated by your movements.

“You okay there, Sarge?” you question, punctuating your words with a soft gasp as you apply more pressure to the sensitive peaks of your breasts. You arch your back a touch, your chest lifting just an inch or two closer and Bucky is salivating.

“More,” he requests, the whimper in his voice dampening the order. He recognises the tone for what it is – a plea – and he’d give almost anything to have his hands on you but – god – the way you’re writhing and panting before him, the slick folds of your cunt on display when you let your thighs fall open – Bucky can’t help but think you’re a goddess. He watches you for a minute longer, his body so tense that even the slightest touch might shatter him but what’s a goddess for if not to be worshipped? And Bucky will supplicate at your feet for eternity for you to rid him of his wrongs and cleanse the days before you. He’s been the luckiest son of a bitch for over a year now and he knows he’ll find heaven within you, that you lay peace and forgiveness down before him with simple caresses and erase his guilt with your lips.

You gift him a coy smile and let your hands drop, twining your fingers with Bucky’s and drawing him close until he’s stood between the ‘v’ of your legs, sharing your breath and feeling the heat rolling off your skin.

You tilt your head up and slant your lips against his, dragging his hands up your body to replace where yours had been on the mounds of your chest, encouraging him to squeeze and play as he wishes as you hook your calves over his hips and urge him closer still.

You chance a quick glance up at his face to find that he’s completely enraptured with your chest, snorting a laugh even as he feathers his thumbs over your nipples, raising goosebumps up your arms.

A shudder runs through Bucky’s body when he feels the tip of his cock brush against the heat between your legs and he tilts his hips forward to glide his length along you, delighting in your gasp when he grinds down against your clit.

“You want this?” Bucky asks, his expression split between cocky and desperate as he rocks against you, spreading his hands over your lower back and digging his fingertips into the meat of your ass.

“Mmm,” you whine, your head lolling back to rest against the shower tile, waiting for him to start pushing forward, for that first divine stretch that feels like nothing else –

But it’s not forthcoming. You crack your eyes open and lift your head questioningly.

“Please baby,” Bucky whines, pressing his hips into yours again. You reach up to stroke his cheek and just stop yourself from frowning.

“You need me to say it, Buck?” you ask softly, still running the tips of your fingers along his stubbled jaw, enjoying the scruff that pulls at your fingers.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah –“ each breathless plea is punctuated by an eager grind against you and you bite your lip against a moan when you feel his cock throb from where it’s trapped between your bodies.

“Okay honey,” your voice is shaky with desire for your man but you fight to keep your tone clear so he knows exactly how much you want him. “Please fuck me Bucky – I want it so bad, needed it the whole time you were gone – ah!”

You’re barely through your sentence when he thrusts into you, burying himself to the hilt before stopping just as quickly as he’d begun.

“Fuck,” Bucky hisses. “Fuck, that’s so good.”

“Mmm,” you whine in response. “Need you to move honey.”

He raises his head and shoots you a look. It’s one that you don’t get very often but you cherish the pinched eyebrows and lip trapped between his teeth as he fights to stop himself from coming prematurely.

“Needja to be patient baby,” he gasps out, his hands clutching at your thighs bruisingly as his Brooklyn accent slips into place. You can almost see his thought process as he runs through baseball statistics and multiplication tables in his head. You’re sweating by the time the tension finally drains from Bucky’s shoulders and you can’t stop yourself from clenching down on him when he gives a couple of gentle test-thrusts.

“You’re not helping,” he grunts, as he gets a better grip on your slippery skin to hoist your legs higher, and you’re honestly not sure if he’s speaking to you or your pussy.

You don’t have time to dwell on it though, as Bucky lets you know he’s ready with a sharp snap of his hips and a grunt from deep in his chest when you dig your nails into his shoulders in surprise.

“Careful with the claws, kitten,” Bucky groans before really laying into you.

You cling to one another as his hips snap into yours orchestrating a rhythm of skin hitting skin that is only amplified by the water. The bathroom echoes with your lovemaking, even as you bite at your lip – it’s still the middle of the night and you share walls with two other apartments in this block, not to mention your poor downstairs neighbours.

It only takes a few moments for Bucky’s rough strokes to build your pleasure high enough for you to stumble and a sharp moan of his name escapes you.

“Oh god honey,” Bucky pants, uncurling his left arm from around your waist to reach out and grab the top of the shower door for stability. “That good, yeah?”

“Yeah,” you pant, “S’good Buck, it’s good.” Your words escape you in a staccato, hiccoughing rhythm that he punches out of you in time with the movement of his hips. You tip your head back and Bucky takes the opportunity to litter a series of sweet kisses against your neck, whispering words of devotion in between the brushes of his lips, drinking in the ecstatic sounds that you’re making.

“Fuck sweet girl, you’re so good, s’good, don’t wanna leave, never gonna leave ya again, love you so much baby,” Bucky’s inner monologue escapes without direction as your pleasure climbs, his words encouraging your end almost as much as his movement.

“Please – please Bucky,” you stutter out, dropping your hand between the two of you to stroke at your clit, your desperation for an orgasm acute after being without him for too long.

“Me, honey, let me,” Bucky insists, leaning his upper body away from you slightly to find the best angle. His practiced fingers find you easily and you feel yourself clench involuntarily around him when his thumb massages you in just the right pattern. The moan that you let out is quiet but so desperately needy that Bucky hisses when his cock throbs in response but by that time it’s too late for you anyway.

You dive off of the precipice, arching your back and feeling your pussy pulse uncontrollably as you’re ignited from the inside. Bucky pushes in to the hilt one final time before he too lets go, whimpering quietly as he joins your bliss.

You remain entwined beneath the water for a few long moments, relishing in the feel of one another before Bucky tilts his head back to look at you, his eyes still hazy with lingering pleasure. You know he’s not able to get drunk but if you saw him like this at any other time you’d assume he was intoxicated. You snort internally and go to make fun of his pussy-drunk expression when –

“Marry me.”

You slap your hand against the shower wall, groping desperately for the button that will halt the stream of water beating against the glass because you think that you just heard your super soldier boyfriend propose to you while he’s still very much inside you.

“What, Bucky-what?!” you finally locate the off switch and shower ceases, leaving the pitter-pattering of water droplets as the only sound in the room while you and Bucky stare at one another. “Did you just – ”

“No.” His response is short and sharp, cutting over the end of your question, as though he can’t bear to hear the words leave your lips. When you blink at him, he has the gall to look guilty and his shoulders drop in defeat. “I said – I – ” he takes a moment to clear his throat twice before speaking again.

“I said marry me. I’m sorry.”

Silence reigns again while you absorb the shock of his words.

“Bucky…” you begin slowly, wriggling back slightly to bring attention to his cock still buried to the hilt and his hips still fit snuggly between your thighs. “…are you proposing to me while you’re still balls deep?”

Bucky groans and lets his head drop to your shoulder as your laughter rings out but you wrap your arms around his neck and squeeze him as close to you as you possibly can, hooking your ankles one over the other at the small of his back so he can’t escape you.

“I – I had a plan, and a ring –” he starts to explain into your neck but you silence him with a tug to his hair so that you can meet his eyes. The concern etched on his face disappears almost as soon as he sees your joyful expression and he gifts you the softest, sweetest smile in return before taking a deep breath in and you just know what’s going to come next.

So you reach up quickly and place the tops of your fingers over his mouth.

This man – this man who has been through so much more than anyone should have to, who has survived horror and death and the loss of his autonomy only to come through the other side still able to love – deserves to have exactly what he wants. He deserves to have this moment, his proposal, exactly as picture perfect as he’s always imagined. And so although you know you’ll say yes, that you’ll marry him in a heartbeat, you halt Bucky’s next words.

“Wait,” you instruct gently. “Just wait. Do your plan – give me the ring.” You don’t explain further but brush your lips against his once, twice and whisper, “I love you.”

“I love you sweetheart.” Bucky responds just as quietly, and you feel the full force of his devotion and adoration hit you when he rests his forehead against yours briefly.

The moment is ruined when he steps away from you to turn the shower back on to wash away the evidence of your lovemaking with a mumbled; “It’s a good thing you didn’t say yes, Sam woulda never let me live it down if I’d proposed like that.”

You shuffle under the warm spray and wrap your arms around Bucky’s waist to gaze innocently up at him. “Oh – I’ll definitely be telling Sam about this,” you state. “My pussy game is so good that I got a marriage proposal? Bucky, I’m telling everyone.”

Your squeal echoes off the tiles as Bucky growls and digs his fingers into your waist in retaliation, grinning wickedly, and barely able to stop himself from sprinting to his underwear drawer to recover the ring nestled at the back.

He’ll do it properly tomorrow.

I’m With the Band Pt 4

Pairing: RockstarBucky x Rockstar!Steve x Reader

Word Count: 2,000 something..

Summary: You've been Bucky's plaything on his US tour but when he brings drummer Steve home, things heat up.

Warnings: 18+ - Minors, DO NOT INTERACT please! cursing, drinking, unprotected vaginal and anal sex, fingering, light choking, male piercings, dubcon, double penetration, stripping, verbal degredation and humiliation, mild cuckholding, mention of drugs, threesome. There is just lots going on here 😩

--------------------

You had been touring with Buck for nearly two weeks now and your status as a glorified groupie had been solidified after TMZ ran a story the night prior. A paparazzi snafu outside of a haute celebrity steakhouse had made the website’s front page; Bucky’s arm was draped around you, cig hanging out of his mouth. The headline blasted, “Bucky Barnes Steps Out With Barely Legal Floozy - Will it Last?”

All of the negative press and faux glamour was well worth it though because Bucky would perform to sold-out crowds clamouring with screaming co-eds, and then return to you in the earliest hours of the morning to fuck you mercilessly.

You knew the band’s set inside out by now and while you had grown partial to their heavy metal ballads and electric riffs, some nights you just preferred to curl up into your plush hotel robe, watch a cheesy pay-per-view rom-com, and indulge in overpriced room service. But on this particular night, you had no idea what Bucky had up his sleeve.

Like clockwork, Bucky would always stumble in around 3 or 4am, his breath reeking of 80 proof and his fingertips lingering with tobacco resin. Most women wouldn’t tolerate the behaviour and though you had identified his recklessness and boy-like stupor as fatal flaws, you were falling for him. Hard.

He would fuck you with heedless passion - never once inquiring about your feelings or concerns. He couldn’t even throw a rag your way to clean up his salty messes - his sole objective was to get off and if you happened to also find pleasure in the process, he wouldn’t protest. Self-care just wasn’t a part of his repertoire. Bucky was nauseatingly self-serving but you just never questioned it because you were still embarrassingly enamoured with this achingly beautiful rockstar bestowing attention on you.

You laid atop the pillowy soft California King bed, nothing on but a satin La Perla robe that Bucky's black Amex had doled out. You thumbed through your US History textbook, unable to focus on the task at hand - Thomas Jefferson’s Monticello. Bucky should have been back by now. You frantically tapped your acrylic nails on the edge of your phone, anxiously awaiting his return. You thought about texting him but you didn’t need to want to seem needy. He had warned you that it wasn’t cute when you seemed needy.

You heard the muffled laughter of two male voices outside of the room door - two voices? Yeah, definitely two. But this made zero sense because The Winter Soldiers were always under contract to stay on separate floors - hotel policy to discourage the stereotypical rocker raucousness.

As you darted off the bed, Bucky traipsed through the doorway. You made out the second man who followed closely behind - it was Steve Rogers, the drummer. Oh FUCK.

Steve wasn’t a partier like Buck, he was the private, pensive type that ran a militant ten miles each morning and filled his spare time with Seinfeld re-runs or FaceTiming his mom. You had never once witnessed him doing lines or shooting back Jack Daniels at the bar - he just seemed like the foil to Bucky’s rebel without a cause attitude. It was a shock to see him here, honestly. He was usually the first to leave the venue and would never join the boys in their depraved debauchery.

The two men were giddy and as Bucky tripped over the edge of the dresser, he put his ebony-polished finger up to his mouth in a shushing motion, as if you were the one creating racket. Was he too stoned to realize he was the one sneaking into the room like a teenage boy missing curfew? Probably.

“Hiiiiiiiii baby!” Bucky purred as he threw his flimsy hotel keycard haphazardly onto the table and stumbled towards the couch. “We just played a fuckin’ amazing show and I told Stevie he should come back and party with us.”

You glared, eyes narrowing scornfully. Really, Bucky?Post-show sex was something you had grown accustomed to and you weren’t really sure how Steve would fit into that equation. You were instantly cranky, knowing that your nightly dick appointment had been ruined by the tall, blonde super soldier.

Steve slunk into the sofa, a domestic beer in hand. "Did you have a good night, hun?" Hun, huh?

You tightened the the silken robe around your waist curtly, crossed your arms, bottom lip pouty and possessive, on the verge of a tantrum. “Bucky.. what the hell? I wasn't planning to entertain guests.”

Bucky completely ignored your clear disdain for the situation. “Why don’t you give us a lil’ striptease, eh?” He grabbed the silky tassels of your robe and pulled you toward him harshly, almost falling into his lap as you teetered uneasily. You considered protesting but after ogling Steve and realizing how effortlessly gorgeous he looked just non-chalantly vibing on the couch, you decided to let the night play out.

Steve had been so attentive throughout the entire tour, bringing you London Fogs from local cafes or making sure you had the best spot to watch the show at every venue. You sometimes felt homesick and Steve empathetically clued in, trying his best to provide creature comforts or lend an ear when you tried working through your college assignments. You were sure he was just being polite, part of his traditional upbringing, but it went a long way because Bucky never seemed to give a shit about you unless he was blowing your back out.

You swayed from side to side, hooking a strand of hair behind your ear as you plopped onto Steve’s lap. “Go on, dance up on him baby,” Bucky commanded as he threw back a swig of whatever alcoholic concoction he was sipping on, stretching his legs out eagerly.

Steve was so much bigger than Bucky - bigger shoulders, bigger quads - his bigger hands gently squeezing the top of your thighs. You could assume that he was bigger everywhere as the outline of his length tented in his navy velour trousers.

You could have sworn he whispered, “you’re beautiful.”

Your brow creased with confusion as he thumbed his way up your supple thighs and towards the vulnerable gap between your legs. You just knew your pupils were blown out, dumbstruck, clit throbbing. You recoiled at his touch, it felt wrong for Bucky’s best friend to be pawing at you and for you to be enjoying it.

Bucky sat across from you, legs splayed out, elbows resting on his knees and gazing at you two intently. He wasn't a cuck but he clearly had an hidden kink for watching.

This came as a shock because Bucky was territorial and would seethe with envy when other men leered at you. Whenever you were hit on in public, Bucky took out his jealous frustration on you - whether that meant shoving his hands up your dress and curling a few fingers up into you, or fucking you up against the bathroom wall mere moments after a harmless gentleman caller called you cute. He may have been a rockstar but insecurity still permeated from him.

“You gonna let us take turns, babe?” Bucky yanked the side table drawer open and grabbed a bottle of sticky, well-used lube. “Or you gonna smarten up and let us take a hole each?” He glanced at Steve, hoping for an air high five or a “yeah, man!” in return. But Steve was laser-focused on groping your smooth, tanned thighs.

“She’s so tight, Steve.. tightest chick I’ve ever split open,” he bragged, undoing his pants to expose his bare, inflating cock. You hated when he talked about you like you weren’t even in the room. You hated it.

It was clear to you that Bucky was going to offer you up as some sort of sacrificial lamb tonight but you were oddly fine with the arrangement. You fixated on Steve, the sexual tension mounting for weeks. He grazed the back of his palm against your cheek, “you smell like peaches, angel.”

Bucky grabbed you by the forearm, mounting you over the edge of the couch. Firm hands gripped your waist, “bend over.. gonna fuck this sweet ass,” he hissed, pushing the small of your back forward and hiking your robe up. You had never taken anything, not even so much as a single finger, in that hole. Bucky knew you wanted to keep anal off limits but tonight, he craved popping your cherry and his violent decisiveness made your pussy throb. Or maybe it was Steve's sweet sweeping motions as his hand inched towards your clit. Or maybe it was both.

“C’mon Stevie, come fuck this skank,” Bucky beckoned. Steve dropped his trousers and revealed his length. Yep, definitely bigger.

“You got a box of rubbers, Buck?” He looked around curiously, scanning for a box of Magnums. Bucky huffed, you both knew he didn’t do condoms.

And while Steve was trying his best to be respectful, in this moment he could still be reduced to a typical hormonal thirty-something. The sight of his best friend bending you over had him pumping his meaty cock hungrily.

This entire interaction had made your brain go all fuzzy. Bucky splattered a long string of lube into his hand, dragged it along his length, and rammed his cock into the tight ring of virgin muscle. "Jesus, fuckin' hell, this ass is so damn tight, baby doll," he moaned, pushing himself into you deeper, no regard for you. The silver metal ring first, then the tip, then his entire engorged cock. Your eyes rolled back, tears welled in your eyes, and you knew instinctively to fight through the punch of pain and pressure.

“Steve…” you struggled to get the words out, sharp breaths escaping your lips as Bucky rhythmically smashed inside your tight ass, desperation dripping from you. You needed him inside you, too. You looked up at him, long eyelashes fluttering. He couldn’t resist.

Steve approached correctly, peeling his tight onyx wifebeater to reveal a chest inked with tats. His thick cock in hand, he used your slick to slide in underneath Bucky, gently pushing into your pretty pink entrance. You expected him to rut into you furiously, just like Bucky always did. But Steve fucked into you with slow, gentle strokes. Bucky shot him a dirty look, “Man.. she’s not gonn’ break, fuck her!”

Though you couldn’t see his face, you heard Steve hum lowly into your ear, “every piece of you is perfect .. sooo tight.” You lapped up every scrap of praise he threw at you.

Steve picked up the pace, stretching you out with his girth. You could feel both buff men inside you, could feel radiating friction - feel their lengths touching - just a sheath of thin skin between them. Measured cadence as they both pumped back and forth inside you made you realize why these two were some of the most revered musicians - they were so in sync. Bucky’s cock dragged in and out of your virgin hole while Steve’s swollen length pierced your velvety walls. It was ecstasy.

Bucky jammed his index finger into your mouth, tugging violently - his signature move. You knew he wasn’t going to last much longer because his thrusts got shorter and faster, his cock entirely engorged with blood, his breaths shallow. He pulled out with wanton disregard, ropes of his white pleasure marking your back.

"Good girl..” he huffed, “I need a smoke.” He wiped the sweat off his forehead and slicked his jet black hair back, sliding the glass balcony door open.

It was just you and Steve now and you were glad one of the super soldiers had vacated your body. You loved being filled up to the brink but it was a relief to not be air-locked any longer. Steve bent down as he was balls-deep inside you, dusting your ear with his knuckles and whispering, “are you gonna cum for me, pretty thing?”

You chewed the inside of your cheek, ruminating over your response, butterflies swelling in your stomach. Bucky never asked what you wanted, he just took what he needed and left you with the fallout. You nodded weakly, “I..I wanna cum for you.”

He dipped his left hand down between your thighs, rubbing your clit in small, quick motions. “Do you like that, angel?” You were absolutely cockdrunk on this man and nodded sloppily, your walls pulsing. Steve kissed the side of your neck, “I’m going to cum inside you, peaches - uhhnn - you’re such a perfect girl for Steve.” Bucky would be back any moment and he wouldn’t like this - Steve was here to give you a nasty fuck, not romance you.

Steve fucked you beautifully, every languid motion deliberate and well-timed. It made sense that he was a drummer - his rhythm was immaculate. It was the closest thing to making love a rockstar could offer up. It didn’t make sense but it didn’t matter.

You became entirely untethered as a wash of pleasure swept over you. He peppered your shoulders with kisses as he shot his creamy load deep inside.

As you heard the glass door slide shut, you jolted up and snapped out of the fucking tizzy Steve had put you in. “How was it bud? Wasn’t she a good fuck?” Bucky asked rhetorically.

“Yeah bro, she’s a good gal,” he replied as he tugged his trousers back on. “I better go, we got Tokyo 101.2 in the morning.”

Steve left without a word to you, likely because he didn’t want to piss off Bucky and get you into any trouble. He knew Bucky had a viciously jealous temper and Steve was just grateful his buddy was willing to share you. No need to rock the boat, especially if he wanted this sexual relationship to continue.

Relishing in the obscenely depraved romp you had just been gifted, you fetched a cold bottle of Perrier from the mini-bar and plunked down on the bed. You were a puddle of emotions, eyes glazed over, dumbfounded at what happened. What was his motive? Bucky was his best friend, his bandmate, hell - he was pretty much his platonic life partner. It just didn't make sense.

You flicked off the bedside lamp and crawled into bed with Bucky, the sun just beginning to peek over the Santa Ana mountains.

-------------------- Bucky had slunk out of the suite at an ungodly hour to meet up with Steve for the Japanese press junket. He probably hadn’t slept more than an hour or two at best. Selfishly, you were just relieved that you could sprawl out in the bed and get a few more hours of beauty sleep before the jaunt to San Diego.

You were startled awake with a rap at the door, still groggy. Your lower body swelled with a dull ache - you really pushed your limits the night prior and would just be smitten with any kind of pain reliever. You rubbed your eyes and slinked out of bed, kicking on your pink shearling slippers.

You shuffled to the door, yawning widely as you unlatched and swung it open. It was concierge with a bouquet of big, beautiful Stargazer lilies. The note affixed to the flowers read, “Good morning, peaches." Two extra-strength Advil were taped to the note.

You gulped anxiously, acutely aware of the triangle that had unintentionally formed. Thirty-four dates were still remaining on the tour and things just got really interesting.

--------------------------

Thank you sooo much for reading, my angels !

All other parts can be found here

I love how the world perceives tumblr as useless platform. No world news here. No algorithm. No verified accounts. Ads are about Pikachu cosplayer and shoelaces. Folks that's exactly how social media should be

way overdue edit: OP too has learned everything regarding international politics through crabs and that meme but doesn't dare to consider these paranormal/parasocial occurrences as mere news. It's a moment, it's a bliss, it's the nightmare of future generations' history textbooks, you had to be there

click- b. barnes

pairings: bucky barnes x reader, steve rogers, alpine warnings: about: requested! Some really wholesome fluff of Bucky coming back from a long mission (i may have gotten carried away and barely included the fluff i am so sorry)

“i miss you.”

“i miss you too.”

the words are an echo now, your tongue so used to the taste of them that it has become as habitual as i love you; so constant, the pain is a throb you’re afraid to nudge, the ruby of the blood in them resting in the crevices of the soft smile that bucky can’t see.

“i don’t think this is fair,” you say into the phone, lightly tugging on a strand of your hair in bitten-down frustration. “this isn’t fair,” you decide instead, pupils catching on the faded blue of the shirt bucky left behind before leaving, completely void of the remnants of him that used to settle you.

“i know,” bucky agrees from the phone, voice not as kind as you know it is with the gravel of the phone. “i’m sorry, honey.”

“it’s not your fault,” you shrug, uncaring that he can’t see the action. “this is just so—two weeks is two weeks, you know? it’s unfair. you should be able to go home by now.”

“you don’t know how bad i wanna go home, sweetheart,” bucky replies, “steve is not a tidy guy and i miss my girls.”

at the mention of her, alpine meows, nudging your arm with her head. you smooth her fur down, cooing softly at her. “we miss you too,” you tell him honestly, eyeing the picture with him you have on your nightstand. “are you sure it’s only another two weeks?” you ask, having already resigned on fighting it after enough two weeks were added and bucky had been gone for nearly a month.

“that’s what they said. s’what i’m hoping. no more extensions because shield can’t get their shit together.” his tone is biting with frustration, the repetition of the excuse weary from his lips, angry because of the use.

“yeah,” you whisper instead of pointing it out. “i just want to get you home already. i don’t think i’ll let you leave for double the time this stupid fuckin’ mission took. i’ll hide you in my apartment if i have to.”

bucky’s laugh is just a glimpse filtered through the phone, but you grasp onto it anyways, running gentle fingers over the sound.

“i can’t wait,” he responds.

“me neither.”

it’s an unkind silence that settles between you two, steve’s bed whining about him moving reminding you further of the fact that bucky was so far away.

“please come home soon,” you blurt, unable to help the plead that you know is out of bucky’s control, but he understands, playing along with a smile of spiteful hope.

“i’ll be home before you know it.”

the call clicks when it ends, a soft sigh leaving your lips as your phone dims, your eyes landing on your reflection in your mirror.

-

“has steve been letting you sleep?” you question, phone between your ear and your shoulder as you move around the kitchen, trying to prepare the meal bucky usually makes you when you feel upset.

“of course not,” bucky retorts, steve’s muffled offense making you laugh lightly.

“i told you that you should’ve taken those ear things,” you remind, quickly turning to the timer to make sure you have enough time to make something extra.

“i know,” bucky replies sheepishly, “you’re always right, i dunno why i didn’t.”

“you’ll be back soon anyways,” you point out—hopefully, wishfully—as you begin to chop veggies.

“yeah,” bucky follows along, willing the fact that the words were out there, spoken like they were the truth to become so, even if previous experience had taught him otherwise. “‘m gonna be back soon, so it’s not gonna be a problem for long. but not one i’m gonna miss.”

you slow your pace with the knife to stare pointlessly at the carrots on your plate. “so how was today?” you ask the phone on the counter.

“it was a day. missions are no fun without you, you know that.”

“missions aren’t fun period,” you chuckle. “they’re missions. they’re dirty and bloody and exhausting.”

“but you can’t tell me they’re not more fun with me there with ya, doll.”

you smile even though he can’t see you, putting down the blade to forget about the carrots and set your chin in your hands. “you’re right, i can’t say that. missions are definitely fun with you there, even if you’re only distracting me the whole time.”

“you just look so pretty, i can’t help myself.”

you shake your head, sighing through a bashful smile as you laugh. “so you like the whole messy, tired assassin look i have going on?”

“i like all the looks.”

you groan, letting your head drop, face heating like it always does when bucky flirts with you, even if it’s through the crackle of your phone’s speakers. “stop talking me up, buck, you’re gonna give me a big head.”

“i gotta make sure you know,” bucky excuses, and you can imagine his nonchalant shrug as he says it, the easy way he praises you. the cold of your granite counter brings you back to your reality, the reminder that your image of him is just that; an image.

“i do know,” you admit, letting your head roll so your cheek is pressed again the table. “i do.”

there’s a sweet silence that is short-lived, because your smoke alarm begins to go off and steve begins to bark orders at your boyfriend, his commands screeching with urgency but drowned by the shrieks of your alarm. you hastily grab your phone as you finally look up to see the food you thought still had time too dark to be edible, your kitchen foggy with smoke.

“is everything okay?” you muster into your phone as you jog to your kitchen, turning off the stove and grabbing the pan of burnt food, wincing when you burn yourself.

“fuck,” bucky grunts, “something happened. what’s that sound?”

you nod without realizing he can’t see you, reaching up to turn off your alarm but remembering you can’t reach. “the smoke alarm, it’ll be fine. be safe, okay?”

“you too. i love you.”

you turn to grab a long wooden spoon to silence the sound you can’t reach, standing on your tiptoes to poke at it. “i love you too.”

the call ends with a click as the sounds finally quiet, and you’re left alone in your kitchen with burnt food and a hand cradled against your chest, worry already beginning to blossom at the bottom of your stomach.

-

“but everything’s okay now?” you ask for the third time, playing with the bandage on your hand as you ignore your cereal.

“steve made a really big deal out of nothing. i coulda kept you on,” bucky assures. “what was it that happened over there again?”

“i burnt some food,” you admit, mindlessly running gentle fingertips over the white dressing over your palm. “you distracted me,” you try to excuse.

“is that what happened the other times?” he teases.

“yes, actually,” you quip. “but i’ve decided to stave off actual stove cooking until you’re back. to be safe.”

“that seems smart. i don’t want you burning down the house.”

you ignore him, “i’ve been eating cereal for a lot of meals in the past two days.”

“unhealthy.”

“this is why i need you here,” you insist, “at least when you’re distracting me here, you can turn off the stupid smoke alarm quicker.”

“of course.”

“and i’ve never gotten burnt with you here.”

“you burned yourself?” bucky repeats, and you can hear some creaks in the background.

“only a little,” you murmur, “and cho got me all fixed up almost immediately.” you pick up a piece of cereal with your fingers, pushing it into your mouth, surprised at the fact that you’re not sick of it yet.

“are you eating cereal again? stop eating cereal with your hands, you’re going to hurt yourself more.”

you pause, surprised that he could tell. “no.”

“get a spoon.”

“i have one,” you pick it up, aimlessly mixing around the cereal in your mug to prove a point. “will you make me that thing i like when you come back?”

“whatever you want, honey.”

you sigh softly, the term of endearment hitting a part of you that makes you yearn. “i miss you again,” you complain.

bucky laughs, “me too.”

there’s a knock at the door that makes you stand, lazily heading to your door to sign for your package.

“when will you be back again?” you request.

“sooner than you think,” bucky answers cryptically, making you frown as you pull open the door.

“what does that me-”

you gasp when you see him on the other side of the door, exhaustion written across his features, blurred out by the happiness that makes his eyes shine once he sees you. he’s rolling his feet in anticipation of your reaction, grunting softly when you crash into him, letting your phone drop.

“bucky!” you greet excitedly, pulling him even closer when he wraps his arms around you.

“i came back a little early,” bucky informs, pressing his nose into your hair to press kisses along your crown. “i missed you.”

you shut your eyes as you melt in his embrace, treasuring his unfiltered voice and the warmth of him as he holds you. “i missed you too.”

there’s a pain that shoots up when your injured hand curls around his shirt, but you can’t find it in you to care as much when you finally get to breathe him in, realizing how much you truly missed your bucky, remembering how much you hated having him leave for so long.

bucky pulls away only so he can look into your eyes, giving you a relieved smile before he kisses you, nudging his nose against yours.

you draw back after a few seconds, letting your foreheads drop against each other, observing each other in all their reality. “i’m so glad you’re back,” you laugh shakily, overcome with the truth of it. your voice echoes back through your phones, making the both of you laugh as you move to hang up.

the call ends, but with the heat of bucky’s hand in yours, it doesn’t hurt to hear the click.

acquainted | b.b

pairing: bucky barnes x reader (based on tfatws)

summary: in which you and bucky don’t like each other very much, not until one afternoon when you two finally decided to get acquainted. (enemies to lovers)

word count: 3.5k

warnings: nsfw, 18+, oral (m receiving), loads of teasing, unprotected sex, bucky making you beg for it, cocky!bucky, 

a/n: hello! i am back with another bucky fic because i love him so much, he owns my heart and i absolutely love writing for him! i hope you enjoy this lovelies!

requests are open!

thank you so much for reading love! please like and reblog!

Nine in the morning saw you padding down the hallways of the apartment, sighing as you glanced over to the coffee table, last night’s drinks were still stacked on the wooden table, meaning that he had probably stayed over.

Again.

You made your way to the kitchen, the smell of freshly made pancakes wafted through the air, making your mouth water, your stomach grumbling in anticipation as you walked in, not surprised to see Sam at the stove, pouring the batter into the pan.

“Morning sunshine” he greets with an award-winning smile as he turns to you, a grin on his face as he stacks the pancakes one on top of the other.

“Morning Chef” you joke, not being able to stop yourself from laughing with the man standing before you who had donned an Elsa apron which you vaguely remember the neighbour had given him.

“Shut up” Sam grumbled as you doubled over in laughter, clapping your hands as the peals seemed they would not stop anytime soon.

“You can just let it go” you said in a sing song voice, giggling when your best friend shot you a death glare as you mimicked the famous princess, much to his annoyance.

“That’s it, you’re not getting any pancakes”.

“Come on Sam, it was a joke” you protested as he feigned anger, his arms akimbo, the Elsa apron looking a little too small on his frame, you stifled your giggles as you pouted, giving him your infamous puppy dog eyes.

Eyes that you knew Sam could never say no to.

“No,”

“Please, I’ll do anything” that was partially true because Sam’s pancakes were to die for, literally, especially the chocolate flavoured ones.

“Anything?” Sam questioned, and you nodded confidently, knowing that the worse that could happen was you having dishwashing duties for a week.

“Bucky’s staying over for a few days-“

Keep reading

goodbye- b. barnes

pairings: past lover!enemy!bucky barnes x reader, mentions of steve rogers warnings: lovers to enemies to lovers, a lot of angst, mentions of blood, hydra, mentions of death and 40s bucky about: sleepover request “enemies to lovers with bucky” that got wayy out of hand because i apparently don’t know how to write something that doesn’t a/n: okayy so i have never written enemies to lovers before, so i hope i did this right, and i did change it a little to past lovers to enemies to lovers, i hope you don’t mind!! i’m not too sure how i feel about this, mainly because it’s so long for me that i’ll only be able to read and edit it like twice and i’ll start hating it by the first time. this is about 4k words, aka one of my longest fics ever edit: YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW LONG IT TOOK ME TO EDIT THIS WOW

bucky realizes exactly how bad his relationship with you has gotten when he overhears your argument with steve over the mission pairing next week. he doesn’t mean to; he knows how pissed at him you would get if you were to find out he was listening in to a conversation that didn’t include him— although, really, the last time he was included was decades ago, when you would smile at him with warm apple cheeks and let him tuck away stray strands of your hair.

your frustrated words sneak out through the cracks of the door, letting him know exactly how upset you are that you were paired with him for the mission.

“we’ve barely even talked—” bucky nearly scoffs at this, knowing well that it was your fault. although he can’t let you take full blame. “you know we won’t work well together. partners need to have each others’ back—” steve cuts you off at that, and it makes bucky glad because that had stung more than he thought it would. some part of him, even while you pointedly avoided his existence, thought that you still cared, even if it was monumentally less than the care you’d had for him before. he never wanted to confront the possibility that you didn’t care at all, that you would come running to steve in distaste at seeing your name and his next to each other.

“it’s done, y/n. deal with it. it’s only one mission,” steve tells you sternly, exasperated. bucky can see the tick of your jaw even through the door, the way you huff out of your nose and accept defeat. some things never changed, even after a near-century. there’s a silence bucky thinks indicates an end to the conversation, and he’s about to take his leave before he’s caught, but steve’s soft sigh stops him. “i thought this duel between you two would end by now,” he says, followed by a gentle scoff from you. steve ignores it, “you two were… so much bigger than this. are so much bigger than this.”

“he left me, steve,” you snap, words edged and sharp and pained, “he made me feel like another notch on his bedpost.” bucky nearly barges in right then and there, refusing to let you think like that. he knows he screwed up, but he never thought you’d think that. you were too good for him to think you meant so little to him; he had tried his best to make sure you didn’t think that way, he wasn’t sure when it went wrong. “he left me. didn’t even know he was gone ‘til i went over to his for the date he promised me and his ma told me he was gone.” bucky’s eyes close, forehead knocking soundlessly against the door frame. “at least you got a goodbye, stevie. all i got was assurance that i was never really anything to him,” your voice turns angrier, and bucky doesn’t think he can listen to you talk about this anymore. he turns towards the elevator after steve stays silent, probably knowing better than to argue with you.

“‘can’t do anything about this now, y/n. it’s only one mission,” is the last thing he hears steve say before bucky walks away, your words rattling around in his broken mind.

-

the jet is dead silent when he climbs inside, ten minutes early as usual, but you’re there already, wordlessly walking past him to replace one of the weapons you keep in your holster. bucky wants to tell you hello, even though he knows you will only respond with a dry stare his way before you give him a view of your turned shoulder as you do anything but acknowledge his presence. your overheard conversation with steve is still heavy on his brain, having scrutinized each letter of the words you’d said to try and make sense of them. even through the shattered, blurry mess of memories he had, the ones with you were bright and clear, as if taken on the best camera in the twenty-first century. he can remember the feel of your lips on his when you both got the guts to admit your feelings for each other, the way your lips had smiled through the kiss, your giddiness clear in the curve of your mouth, and the tender pull his jaw by your careful fingers. the sound of your flustered laugh still rings clear in his ears, the warmth of your forehead as you leant it against his own, shining eyes caught on his.

he can recall the storm of feelings he felt with the fanciest pen he owned in his hand, trembling over the clean paper while he tried to write the goodbye he would never be able to tell you in person. the words of the letter he can recite in his sleep: i love you, dollface. i love you so much that i can’t bear to tell you goodbye. i know that i’ll never leave if i have to stand in front of you and tell you that i have to, not when i know you’ll be there waiting for me. but i gotta do this, you know i do. i swear to you, doll, i’ll come back and take you out on the best damn date of your life. don’t be surprised if it ends with me on a knee and that ring i know you’ll like on your finger.

he knows you deserved a real goodbye, but he was selfish, and one look from you, and he would never go. still, how dare you say he left you without a goodbye when he poured everything he had into it?

he’s tempted to ask you right now, interrupt the cleaning of the gun in your hands, but the very real possibility of you shooting him cuts his thoughts short. nevertheless, he aches to hear your voice directed at him again, see your eyes on him, even if it’s in an argument.

even though the quinjet flies itself, you seat yourself in the pilot’s seat while bucky stays in the back, quiet. his eyes can’t help but drift to you every once in a while, just watching as you stare out the window, shoulders still tense like every time he’s in the same place as you. it makes him sadder than he had thought before, because he can still recall the times that they would relax every time he smiled at you, his touch calling for you to melt into him instead of stepping away from him.

after a second, he stands to recheck his weapons, even though he’s completely sure every one of them is in perfect shape. you stand, too, heading towards one of the doors when stark’s high-tech, no-turbulence quinjets experience a harsh bump. it knocks you—and nearly bucky— off your feet, sending you tumbling forward and straight into bucky’s chest. instinctively, his hands settle around your waist, holding you in place. it’s in the second that you allow him to touch you that he’s suddenly hit with exactly how much he’s missed being able to touch you— be near you. the scent of your perfume wafts pleasantly into his nose, and he memorizes it immediately, along with the warmth of your skin— which he notices remains the same— and the smell of the shampoo you use. you only allow him near you for a second before you push him off of you roughly, shooting him a dirty look.

“you’re welcome,” bucky grumbles bitterly, moving to sit back down. your head snaps back towards him.

“i didn’t say thank you,” you snap, “i didn’t even ask you to do that.”

“you don’t have to. it’s kind of the decent thing to do so you don’t crack your head open when you fall. it’s also the decent thing to thank me for not letting that happen.”

you raise an eyebrow at him, eyes thinning at him. he can practically see his words blowing up in his face. “don’t talk to me about decency.” you retort, “what the hell would you know?”

bucky steps towards you, “what is that supposed to mean?”

you scoff, “oh, please, as if you don’t know. don’t act stupid, bucky. as much as i don’t want to, i know you better than that.”

“i’m not— what the hell are you talkin’ about?”

“nothing,” you sneer, “just thought that being decent included saying goodbye before leaving to go to a fuckin’ war you didn’t even know you were gonna come out of.”

there’s an angry, confused silence that hangs in the air after you confess why you have been so dead-set on hating him after all this time. your chest is rising with heavy breaths, and bucky is confused, eyes searching for any semblance of a lie in your eyes, but he looks away when he finds none.

“are you serious?” he asks.

you send him a deadpan stare, “i don’t really feel up to joking around with you.”

bucky steps towards you, “i said— i said goodbye. maybe i didn’t do it in the best way, but i made sure i told you goodbye. i would never leave you like that, especially after…”

“you didn’t tell me anything. i only found out you left after your ma told me. do you know how ridiculous i looked? going to that house ready for our date, only for me to find out you left me before i thought you even could.”

“i sent you a letter. i explained everything, i swear,” bucky tells you, his hands on your arms gentle enough for you to slip away, and tight enough for you to know how serious his words were. “y/n, you gotta believe me. i would never— dammit, doll, how could you think i could leave you like that?”

“you did! that’s how i could think that! there was no letter, no warning—”

“you have arrived.”

you stop yourself, eyes glued to the floor as bucky drops his hands from your arms. “please, sweetheart, i swear i sent you that letter. i could recite it for you right now if you wanted it.” friday’s mechanical voice echoes through the speaker again, repeating the earlier statement. you shake your head gently as if trying to rid yourself of the distraction in front of you, but you allow yourself for a brief glance at bucky’s eyes, scanning his features for any indication of dishonesty. you pull away when you don’t find any, feeling more upset rather than relieved.

“let’s just do what we need to,” you say finally, exiting the jet. bucky follows you after a few seconds.

—

“we’ll split up. you take the right side of the base and i’ll take the left. we’ll find the drive a lot faster,” you instruct quietly, glued to the wall next to bucky as you check there aren’t any agents in the base.

“are you sure?” bucky questions, “the intel on this base wasn’t too clear. there could be agents in there.”

“i can handle myself. i’m sure you know.”

“y/n—” he begins fruitlessly, trailing off when you take his answer as confirmation and head into the base once you clear the entrance. sighing, he jogs up next to you, overly alert of his surroundings. there’s an air in the base that he recognizes too well; all hydra buildings have a certain disturbing feel to them that indicates all the pain that was forced upon hostages, the screams that echoed through the bloodied walls almost loud enough to travel through time and reach your ears. with this one, though, bucky can feel the device that was clamped to his head, ripping away every piece of bucky he had left. he shivers.

your eyes drift to him when you notice, eyebrows joining, “what’s wrong?” you ask him, tone all-business.

“i think i know this base. where are we again?”

you’re about to respond offhandedly when you pause, your movements freezing altogether. you gulp, an unwanted flash of recognition in your eyes as you turn to bucky. “um, siberia, russia. hydra siberian facility. this is the one you were…” you blink, forcing yourself to say it so he doesn’t have to. “this is the one you were held in, buck, i’m so sorry.”

it’s the first time he’s heard you say his name in a while. when he turns to you, he notices how tense you are, and he knows it’s not because of him, it’s because you can feel it too, now.

there’s a brief pause that follows. “i think you’re right. we should stay together,” you continue, “you never know.” your voice wavers, stepping a little closer to him as you continue walking through the facility.

-

there has been no sign of any other life besides than the two of you. you’ve cleared most of the rooms together since you refuse to leave his side. as much as you seem to hate him, there’s at least a small part of you that still cares more than he ever thought you would.

“another room.” bucky lets you know, leading you inside once he’s made sure it was clear. you begin to start rifling through the files at one end of the room, the sheer size of it making it seem like you were in two different ones. it’ll take a while to meet in the middle, he notes.

you pay little attention to him as you flick through names and papers, only really looking out for any indications that bucky isn’t okay. you’re on the third cabinet when you see the drive you’re looking for, clear and so badly hidden, it must hve been intentional. it’s shoved between thick folders and stray papers, making it easy for you to pull it out with a relieved sigh. you’re about to turn to bucky and let him know you can finally leave when a file with the name of the man in the room with you catches your eye.

even with the drive in your palm, clearly the one you need evident by the label on it, you can’t help the fingers that take the file out. the papers inside are worn and crumpled, the lack of care put into putting them away blatant with the folded corners and smudged words. handwriting on a ripped paper catches your eyes, the creases in the paper showing how much time it spent folded inside a pocket. air escapes you when you catch the date scribbled on the top right, the numbers slightly smudged, but there: december 14, 1941, the day bucky left for the army.

the events on the plane flood back to you as you read the letter. you can feel the lump in your throat growing more difficult to swallow with each read word telling you goodbye. as you stand straighter, opening the file more, something inside clatters to the floor, catching bucky’s attention. you distractedly pick it up, not really looking at it until you feel what it is in your hand— the compass you had gotten bucky years before he enlisted. your eyes finally fall from the letter to stare at it, running your fingers over the design on the edges and then on the little button to open it. your lips part when you discover the picture inside of you.

the weight of bucky’s stare on you is nonexistent as you run your fingers over your picture. you can remember the day it was taken—just a few months before bucky left— and the warmth that settled over your cheeks when bucky complimented you. you drag your vision away from it to read the rest of the letter, a glimmer of gold at the middle of the folder stopping you yet again.

you can’t help the gasp that escapes your lips when you realize it’s a ring that is no doubt bucky’s. you’d seen his mother wearing it every day you knew her; except for the day you visited her— the day bucky left.

you mutter a curse when you realize what the letter means; what the compass with your picture in it and winnie’s wedding ring indicates. the promises bucky included in his letter were real, his love for you was real, and had hydra not held him hostage, his goodbye would’ve made its way to you, and so would bucky, with his wedding ring and lovesick eyes.

“what’s wrong?” bucky questions from the other side of the room, having observed your stunned silence for long enough. the gleaming tears that form in your eyes give him the push to walk over to you and the folder that you can’t stop staring at, the harsh grip your fingers have on it leaving indents on the paper. you don’t seem to care. “y/n?”

you can’t stop rereading the letter, taking in the words you had been repeating to yourself before you let the anger take you over. it’s like your forties self is screaming i told you so at your present self, furious at you for letting yourself think what she knew was wrong.

you let bucky take the papers from you without a word, the grip you have on the old ring that had resided on winnie’s finger for as long as you’d known her the only tie you have to the present. “fuck,” you say, roughly wiping away the tears that begin to streak down your face. bucky recognizes the letter immediately, brows furrowing when he realizes the goodbye he had written you never got to you, meaning that you were technically right— he had practically abandoned you after his dreams had come true because he was scared of exactly this. he hears you repeat the curse, eyes finally reaching up to meet his. “i’m so sorry, bucky,” you tell him, voice dripping in disappointed sincerity. “you were right. i knew you would never—” your face scrunches, fist tightening, “i know you would never leave me like that.”

the glint of bucky’s vibranium fingers catch on the shitty lights while he reads the same sentences he painstakingly clung together decades ago, desperate to make it perfect for you. he spots the compass dangling off its chain in between your clenched fingers, and from its absence in the file, bucky can assume you found the ring.

you catch his eye, looking down at your hand before quickly holding it out to him, carefully setting down the compass in his palm. your hand opens to show him the ring, “oh,” he croaks, shaking his head disorientedly when you extend it closer to him, urging him to take it back. “no, no, keep it. it’s for you anyways.”

pained eyes look back up at him before your fingers close over the jewelry, storing it safely in the chest pocket of your suit. he holds your stare for as long as he can, desperate in his search of the ocean in your eyes for something you weren’t even sure of.

“um,” you sniffle, blinking away your tears and effectively cutting off the eye contact as you look to the ground. “i got the drive. we can leave now.” bucky mumbles an affirmation, blinking at you when you regain your composure, straightening up with a wipe of your cheeks and a clear of your throat, “you set up the bombs, right?”

bucky nods, clearly muddled, “yeah… all ready to be activated.”

“let’s go then,” you say, avoiding his eye while you start to walk out of the room. he doesn’t think you think he noticed that the papers in the folder are gone, the only thing left is the compass in his hold.

-

you ignore him the whole flight, but the items from the base weigh heavy in your pockets, screeching at you to take them out and analyze them again for reassurance that the man you’d sworn heartlessly abandoned you like one of the flings you’d seen him leave had actually done the opposite. the ring that meant so much to his mother and the words he’d recited in his letter were proof of that, evidence that you were wrong and had hated him for no reason.

it was difficult to process how awful you had been to him, disregarding his presence and his concerned words. you could recall the day you arrived, when he had greeted you with a bone-breaking hug that you had returned until the memory of what he had done to you settled in. the grief you’d suffered for him had torn deeper at your heart, and torn you away from him.

he had been angry with you, too, after realizing why you were standing in the same room as him, the exact same as the last day he’d seen you, just like him. you couldn’t blame him now; you were reckless to a point of danger due to the anguish that had ripped you apart so desperately, you felt there was no more of you to keep safe. the loss of not only the man you’d loved wholly for your whole life but of both of the best friends you’d protected and been protected by, shattering you to the point of giving yourself to howard stark as a guinea pig for his time travel ideas.

you allow yourself one look at him after not being able to help yourself, startled to find his attention already on you, the compass open and cradled in his hand like a precious stone.

you turn away and don’t look back at him again.

-

silence is all you can give when you arrive at the compound, heading straight into your room and putting off a shower, instead tugging out the yellowed letter with a delicate desperacy you weren’t sure you still had. the itch of your suit goes unnoticed by you as you slide against the wall, letting yourself sink to the floor, distracted by the letter clenched in your hand, eyes scanning the words you had been reciting to yourself the entire way back.

i love you he repeats at least three times, and you aren’t sure if the dry splatters of water are yours or his. i’ll marry you when i come back, he promises twice, and you can nearly hear the words in his own voice from the forties, so hopeful and so sure, so unaware that he would never come back to that time. goodbye, he writes at the end, for now like a prayer.

you can’t feel the tears as they drench your face. you can only feel the lack of air as you gasp, squeezing your eyes shut and hugging the paper to your chest as gently as you can, careful to not damage it any further. the ring is digging so hard into your palm, you’re sure when you open your hand again, you’ll be met with small dots of blood.

it’s why you don’t notice when bucky opens your door to the image of you, the very same one he would’ve seen the day the man knocked at your door, full of empty apologies as he delivered two condolence letters to you instead of your boys. it’s instinct to him when he rushes over to you, gathering you up into his arms as he repeats it’s okay, even if he doesn’t know what it even is.

your arms drape over his neck without hesitation, face nudging its way into the familiar crook of his neck, trying to control your shuddering breaths. “i’m sorry,” you keep saying, fisting the shirt that smells like your detergent. he assures you it’s okay, the letter in your hands, stained with tears and guilt, letting him know what’s wrong.

you whimper about how much of an ass you’ve been, how you should’ve known better after knowing him so much better, how you should’ve let him explain before pushing him to assume any love you had for him was gone when the complete opposite was the truth. you confess how much you missed him even though you felt betrayed, the overwhelming amount of love you still hold for him.

he responds by brushing away wet strands of hair from your damp eyelashes and comforting pressed kisses against the salty skin of your cheeks— just because you’re letting him and he’s wanted to do that ever since you met him, ever since you kissed him the day before he left for the war, when fireworks exploded in his brain and he was sure you had to be soulmates even if they didn’t exist in your world.

he understands, you realize, and he doesn’t blame you at all.

it settles in once you’ve both calmed down, when your head is on his shoulder and his arm around your waist, the letter he wrote you neatly folded on your dresser. “i missed you,” you tell him, smiling softly when you feel his lips against your forehead.

“i missed you, too,” he murmurs, “more than you know.” his fingers are intertwined with yours, and you let yourself appreciate how much he seems to like touching you. “‘think i owe you a date, though.”