Lately Ive Been Bedridden With A Terrible Case Of I Dont Wanna

Me: Why tf does my back always hurt?

Also me:

brb guys, gonna invent some festivals of atonement, maybe some sacred games too…

people will say "why cant the eldritch gods just be nice to humans :((" and then kill a bug for existing near them

"unsubscribe" is not enough. i need a button that says "if you email me one more time i will track you down and kill you with a hammer."

her voice was as silky as silken tofu. but her words were as firm as extra firm tofu

bodies should have crash logs. why the fuck did that just happen.

Shit man, this wizard war is fucked. I just saw a guy clap his hands together and say "the ten hells" or some similar shit, and every one around him turned inside out, had their tibia explode and then disappeared. The camera didn't even go onto him, that's how common shit like this is. My ass is casting frostbite and level 2 poison. I think I just heard "power word:scrunch" two groups over. I gotta get the fuck outta here.