CEOs Aren't Either, Don't Worry Riri, I Believe In You!

I'm a little slut for oranges

Th blnc ws dstrd lng g. Thr r n vwls nmr. Nw trnslt ths

"Miluji tě<3"

@dr-houses-left-buttcheek

Subject: Regarding Your Translation Requests 🦑📜

Dear Nico,

I regret to inform you that I can no longer serve as your translator, interpreter, or spiritual linguist.

You see, last Tuesday at precisely 3:47 AM, I was visited in a dream by a sentient dictionary named Merriam-Webscream. She informed me, in fluent Morse code and interpretive dance, that continuing to translate for you would disrupt the ancient balance between vowels and consonants. Apparently, the fate of the English language now rests on me speaking only in riddles and sound effects until the next lunar eclipse.

Additionally, my pet iguana (who is actually a licensed psychic) foresaw that if I translated one more sentence for you, the moon would fall out of orbit, and all toast would be permanently burned on one side. I can't let that happen. I love toast. The crust symmetry must be preserved.

So, effective immediately, I shall be communicating only through interpretive eyebrow raises and the occasional honk. 🫨🔊

Please respect my journey.

In confused commitment to nonsense, Ash Licensed Professional in Absolutely Nothing Founder of the “No Translate, Only Chaos” movement™

Sometimes I get scared cause I get reminded that some of my IRL's have my tumblr

people who dont maintag: here is a full analysis of a scene where i write out what each character considered the situation to be, why their pasts made them react the way they did, and why the eventual misunderstanding was as avoidable as it was inevitable… #rambles #idk if this means anything so i wont spam tags ^^;

people who do maintag: i hate blorbo #blorbo #from my shows

My razor once ran out of battery after shaving one leg, and I never found the motivation to shave the other after charging it, so I walked around with only one leg shaven for like a week

accidentally shaved the same leg twice and left one unshaven 😐

breaking into the houses of beautiful women to steal their razors and whisper subliminal messages to them so they stop shaving their body hair

Why am I getting an ad for an 11 years old movie

In case it wasn't clear: DOGE is working with Russia, providing a backdoor for SOMEONE in Russia to login to US systems. PBS Newshour interviewed the whistleblower and yeeeeeah it's pretty damning stuff: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oWpqJ8pD2Ng Basically the cybercriminal version of hiding a blood stain on the floor by ripping out the floor and leaving a gaping hole where floor used to be.... But leaving a great big bloodsmear from the hole in the floor all the way to a suspiciously stinky truck in the parking lot, that's owned by the known neighborhood hitman, which also happens to be piled high with blood-stained flooring.

velmi důležité fr

Prostě tomu tak je 🤷

(obrázek je skoro rok starý ale idgaf)