Bruce: Who Are You? A New Crime Lord?

Bruce: Why pouting?

Clark: You had a kid and you didn't tell me.

Bruce: I had plenty of kids. You need to be more specific.

Clark: You had a kid of your own, and you didn't tell me.

Bruce: Are you making differences between bio kids and adopted kids? 'Cause I have some big news for you, alien boy.

Clark: You had a son with Talia al Ghul.

Bruce: Listen, it was an accident-

Clark: Are you telling me you just happened to get Talia al Ghul pregnant?

Bruce: You knocked up Lois!

Clark: We were engaged? She's not my arch-enemy?? I didn't keep it from you???

Bruce: Hey, cut me some slacks! I was a bit shocked! I mean, how would you react if you found out to have a secret child with Lex Luthor?!

Clark: *nervous laugh*

Bruce: ???

Clark: What an odd choice of words...

(BRB gonna use this dialogue in my Superbat WIP)

Demon: Hey, I took your soul last month and-

Tim: No returns.

Demon: *sobbing* But it's making me sad…

Why have I never heard of this before?

best moments in gaming journalism

journalist gets real yakuza members to play yakuza 3 and asks for their opinions on its authenticity

that’s it

Bruce: You are grounded!

Jason (whole adult): You can't ground me!

Bruce: Grounded!

Jason: But I don't even live here!

Bruce turns Jason around and points to the stairs to his old room.

Bruce: The night, your room. Grounded!

Jason: This some bullshit!

Jason stomps upstairs and heads to his old room. A door slam is heard and then the sounds of random items being tossed around.

Bruce: He'll work it out his system. I'm going to bed.

Dick (looking at Tim confused and then Bruce as the man heads upstairs): Did you just ground a 23 year old?

Tim: And did it work?

Bruce: You forget I'm Batman.

“Jim Gordon would play it cool if Bruce ever revealed his identity to him” lies, that man chain smokes routinely for a glimpse of sanity. He’s consciously ignoring so much daily, it’s giving him heart palpitations and high blood pressure.

If he saw Bruce Wayne trying to approach him with that Batman-esque look in his eyes, Jim would probably throw himself off the nearest building to avoid him. He knows, but he doesn’t want to know. If it’s never confirmed directly to his face, then he doesn’t know shit.

It’s telling that he’d rather take twelve decapitation cases in a row (with seven missing heads) rather than spend more than .3 seconds near Bruce Wayne.

Jim can handle Gotham, but not identity shenanigans.

Ra's losing lasertag is hilarious

Dick: we don’t talk about Jason’s death, Dami, because it’s insensitive and we don’t want to remind him of bad memories!

Damian: *squints*

-later-

Damian: -and then he said because he doesn’t want to remind you of any bad memories, which-

Jason, absently: that’s fucking rude. what bad memories?

Damian: -right?! you coming to the league and becoming my ahki was the best thing that could have ever happened to you. it is NOT a bad memory.

Jason: i mean i was talking about convincing Ra’s to play a match of laser tag with us as ‘moving target training’ but sure you’re great too.

Damian: Grayson simply does not understand our bond.

Jason, not even looking up from his phone: uh-huh. so true kiddo.

Damian: *grins smugly*

Tim, watching them interact:

Tim:

Tim: he’s talking about Jason being beaten and blown up you fucking weirdos.

Tim:

Tim: …you got Ra’s to play laser tag?

Jason: mhm.

Damian: he lost devastatingly quickly.

Another illustration for the alternative events of the second part of How to train your Dragon

Hiccup came to Viggo to ask for advice and support, because he wants to resolve the issue with Drago peacefully. Only now Viggo agrees with Stoick and is going to fly as an envoy to the Berserkers, asking for help in a future war

-If you want my approval, then no. Stoick said it right. You don't negotiate with people like Drago. There is a war coming and the leader must think about his people.... Marauder and I will fly north, I will gather my loyal people. And then I will go to our friends, I think they will not refuse to help us. Don't do anything stupid, Hiccup

I need more Tim protects his family from any racist, homophobic, what not comments.

Like Tim, who is white, non-religious, and queer takes all the negative comments towards him and just steers it past him. So people comment about him a lot, because he just doesn't care and lets it happen.

But then someone comments something about the color of Damian's and Dick's skin, the scarred face of Jason, a stereotype of Cass, called Duke a thug, talked bad about Bruce being a Jew? Oh just consider your life over with.

He will publicly humiliate you. He will grill into you so hard your bones will be scorched black. He will break your company down. He will make you bankrupt. He will expose all of your secrets. Ruin your marriage. Ruin your family. Ruin your image.

Mess with Tim Wayne all you want, but if you mess with the rest of the Waynes, just expect Janet Drake's sole child, her carbon copy, Tim Drake, to appear and put your life to shambles.

It is no joke that Tim Drake is far more protective of his family than Tim Wayne is of himself.

Janet and Jack Drake's forthcoming comes in the way of Tim Drake destroying your life entirely, digging up your secrets and uprooting your company at one small discriminatory comment towards his family.

I had an idea the other day of Nightwing and Redhood getting de-aged to their Robin ages (so both robin)& Bruce taking them to the watchtower because he can't leave them at home lmao- not sure what you'd do with that idea but tis simply something I thought about

okay so because I absolutely adore this but also have someplace to be rn, its gonna be a timed write(ugh back to my english class days) and imma write this is eight minutes so no promises actually this might be really bad but here we go

Bruce didn't know exactly how it had happened. He had just... woken up. And boom there were two small, tiny little robins in his bed, curled against his side like back when they were younger. Dick's hair was silky soft as he ran his hand through it, and Jason was so small, his little head pressed against Bruce's chest. Then they woke up.

"Who is that." Dick's voice was flat. Hard. Bruce bit back a sigh. "Dickie, this is Jason. Your brother." "No he's not." Dick wasn't budging. Bruce fought his huff of annoyance. "Chum, you have to accept that he is your brother. I've already explained it to you. Try to be nice. Please?" Dick glowered at Jason, the other boy unaware as he munched his cereal on Bruce's other side, a book in his other hand.

Bruce smiled fondly and ran a hand through Jason's hair, pressing a kiss to his head. Jason smiled automatically at the gesture, though his eyes didn't leave the page. Bruce realized his mistake a second too late and quickly nudged the kitchen knives away before Dick could reach for them. He tugged his oldest son into his lap instead, despite the boys protests, and rained kisses onto him as an apology.

Dick was laughing by the time he finished, and even ate his breakfast quietly, sitting right next to Jason, and didn't try any physical violence. Bruce wasn't close to enough to hear if any emotional violence had been implemented though, having stood to clean the dishes. His phone vibrated, and he sighed as he spotted the call from Hal. League meeting. Right.

Bruce glanced at the two boys sitting at the table. Dick had stolen Jason's book and was in the process of pretending to pour orange juice over it, while Jason screamed, a butter knife in one hand. Yeah... he could not leave them home alone.

"Is that-?" "are those-?" The whispers started the second he breached the Watchtower, and the way they quickly silenced revealed that they had been happening the whole ride up the elevator. "Stay close to me boys." he murmured. Jason immediately latched to his leg, eyeing the heroes they passed warily. Dick, on the other hand, skipped ahead, until he realized that put him at a greater distance away from his dad than the "replacement" as he had called Jason. Then he did two flips and jumped onto Bruce's shoulders.

Bruce sighed. "Chum, play nice." Dick stuck his tongue out as Bruce settled into his chair, pulling Jason up to sit on his lap as Dick remained on his shoulders. The League blinked at him owlishly. Dick hissed. Jason smiled shyly. "They were hit with a de-aging spell." Bruce answered apologetically with a wince. "Sorry, I can't leave them home alone or one of them will kill the other."

Barry chuckled. "Yeah. Don't worry B, we get it. Red Hood is damn scary." "Poor Nightwing." Dinah murmured. Bruce snorted. "Oh, no no no. Night would be the one doing the murdering." He chuckled, pointing to the child sitting on his head. "Its little Hood I'm worried for."

merry christmas