My Mom's Bisexual, Amazing Woman

This is actually what the high guard has been doing for the 50 cycles I know this. And Starscream hates losing, but Soundwave can’t be bothered to do anything about that 😒 he’s like a wine mom rn, the way he’s babysitting the whole high guard too. He doesn't really play it with them cuz . It’ll be too easy with his ability, and he’d have to keep hearing everyone argue about who is what

....I did not realize I reblogged so much today... damn ADHD is wild

Gordon absolutely knows. He just plays by the rule of 'If I ignore it its not my problem' because both Bruce and Batman do so much good for the city and the world

[[ artist is tasteslikeanya ]]

wayne family adventures + text posts: batman edition

its my bisexual right to make superbat and batcat jokes in the same post. btw.

(batkids edition)

+bonus alfred (tw suicide joke)

Talia walked over to Damian, her expression a mix of playful reprimand and maternal affection. After a brief pause, a smile broke on her face as she scooped up her ten-year-old son, wrapping him in a warm embrace and showering him with kisses. Damian barely had time to react before he found himself trapped in his mother’s affectionate onslaught, overwhelmed by the scent of her strong perfume.

Damian (embarrassed): I’d rather be stuck in an elevator with Clayface than deal with this… this is my life now. Why is she so smothering?

Talia (ignoring her son's complaining): Shush, let me love you, my sweet tifl! I haven't seen you in three months and this is me being better then my awful, awful, awful father.

Ra's Al Ghul (smoking from a cigarette): I am the reason you stopped being insane after what Nyssa put you through, but sure put the blame all on me.

Damian thrashed his legs in a vain attempt to escape while reaching out to his grandfather for help.

Damian (begging): Grandpa, help!

Ra's Al Ghul: Nope. She once kicked me in the crotch with a heel when I tried to scold her parenting. Bruce, you wanna give it a shot?

Bruce simply walked away, not saying a word. Faced with the relentless affection of his mother, Damian groaned as Talia continued to shower him with kisses.

Talia: You should be happy to have such a strong, powerful, highly skilled, and sweet woman as your momma!

Damian let out a dramatic whine, but he resigned himself to her embrace, knowing this was just part of being her son. For now, he was at her mercy.

“Jim Gordon would play it cool if Bruce ever revealed his identity to him” lies, that man chain smokes routinely for a glimpse of sanity. He’s consciously ignoring so much daily, it’s giving him heart palpitations and high blood pressure.

If he saw Bruce Wayne trying to approach him with that Batman-esque look in his eyes, Jim would probably throw himself off the nearest building to avoid him. He knows, but he doesn’t want to know. If it’s never confirmed directly to his face, then he doesn’t know shit.

It’s telling that he’d rather take twelve decapitation cases in a row (with seven missing heads) rather than spend more than .3 seconds near Bruce Wayne.

Jim can handle Gotham, but not identity shenanigans.

I love Toothless so much as a disabled dragon. Literally some of the coolest dragon rep in any media ever and he's canonically disabled from almost the first moment we see him on screen. And he's a badass. And it's part of him (they don't ignore it! It's a big deal if his prosthetics aren't working properly!) and it just makes him cooler. Don't even get me started about Hiccup's prosthetics literally interlocking with Toothless's--

Lex Luthor hates Superman, Lex Luthor hates the Justice League, bla bla bla… You know who Lex must really hate? Bruce Wayne.

Because he knows that bitch is Batman. He’d worked it through that big brain of his and he’s without a doubt certain that the same idiot who spilled champagne on him last New Year’s Eve moonlights as the Batman.

But he can’t fucking prove it. So he’s resigned to a lifetime of having to make stilted conversation filled with double meaning while Brucie just flutters his eyelashes and pretends to be a ditz. And Lex just has to sit there and take it, because Bruce knows that Lex knows and absolutely uses that knowledge to fuck with Alex at every opportunity—he says the absolute shittest, godawful pickup lines and flirts to his heart’s content, knowing full well that he helped Superman kick Lex’s ass last week and that Lex knows it was him.

Gordon: "You busted up this warehouse because?"

Jaybin: "As you can see, it's a facility for illegal processing--"

Criminal: "Nuh-uh. You can't prove that's not baby aspirin."

Nightwing: *licks it off glove* "Oh."

Gordon:

Criminal, smugly: "What's the matter? Headache go away?"

Gordon: "Give me some of that stuff, mine's just starting."

Based off this post. funny doodles i took too seriously.