Superman: Using Child Soldiers Is Wrong, Bruce

Thinking about how Odysseus carved the wedding bed out of an olive tree, which means the bed is rooted in the ground.

Thinking about the line “You don’t think I know my own palace? I built it!”.

Thinking about the fact that Odysseus built his entire palace around that olive tree, his and Penelope’s wedding bed, a symbol of their love.

Odysseus’ world is literally built around his love for Penelope.

…..i’m not crying, i just have an odypen in my eye.

Inspired by this post

tim drake pulls home alone style pranks on ra's al ghul in his spare time send post

I bet the JL has a “how fucked are we” metric that’s literally just how many of Bruce’s kids are there.

Like if he pulls up to the alien invasion or whatever with just Robin, then everything’s fine. More than fine, actually, because Bruce feels comfortable enough to bring his eight year old along for the ride. This battle will take approximately fifteen minutes and they’ll all get shawarma after. Not fucked in the slightest.

But if Red Robin shows up too… hmm, okay, this is getting somewhat serious. Tim is one of Bruce’s most trusted partners; he’s the smart Robin, the tactician, the loyal one, and so if Batman brought him along then it means he’s at least a little bit worried about shit hitting the fan and wants one his advisors around. But the combined brain power of Bruce and Tim is pretty much unmatched (DC plot armor for the win), so everything will be fine, basically. Superman might take a hit, but everything’s going to be fine. Just keep calm and you’ll all make it home in time to Door Dash some Panda Express before it closes. So not that fucked.

It starts to get serious after that. When Signal and Spoiler roll up the scene, shit has definitely hit the fan. Batman’s worried enough to call in reinforcements and he’s probably doubting the League’s ability to listen/obey his orders, so he needs a backup plan in case things go really south. But with Signal’s abilities and Steph’s superpower of turning anything into a joke, chances are you’ll be okay. Maybe impaled or something, but okay. But still, fucked.

When Nightwing shows, the JL knows it’s starting to get dicey out on the field. See, Nightwing’s got his own team, his own issues—the fact that he set that all aside to help out his dad is cause for concern. On a scale from 1-10, they are at a 7. Above moderately fucked.

And… oh God. Black Bat? Most of the time the JL doesn’t even see her, but once she makes herself known and starts fighting alongside her siblings, they all start to silently freak out. Black Bat is a fucking machine and if she’s breaking a sweat trying to fight the Big Bad, things are definitely not going to go well. They start praying that Batman figures something out. They freak out. They are intrinsically fucked.

But God Forbid you catch sight of the Red Hood. The prodigal son is a legitimate killer, and if Batman’s letting him blow out brains then the JL knows he’s desperate. And a desperate Batman is not good. At all. They are definitely fucked.

*Tim being thrown back in time and deciding to not get attached to past versions of his family*

Also Tim: *somehow ends up with baby Jason following him around like a duckling*

Tim: ...well fuck

__

fic: A Family History Rewritten by MysticMalady, TheBestTinyDragon

Tim gets back to Drake Manor really late one night early in his Robin career and finds the fridge empty. He doesn't have the energy to cook anything and decides to order a pizza.

The last thing he was expecting was for the delivery driver to be amnesiac Jason Todd, who got the job because he needed the money.

The last thing Jason expected on his last delivery of the night was for the customer to take the pizza, scream bloody murder, and then slam the door in his face.

Red Hood walking into his warehouse to see that Robin!Tim has made Hoods goons take him hostage in "What You're Longing For (You Claim to Abhor)" by @ghost-bxrd

At Wayne mannor

Alfred: Morning everyone I have an announcement.

Bruce: Everything alright Alfred?

Alfred: Yes, I have invited the Kents to dinner in two days time.

Bruce: What...

Alfred: I expect everyone to be on their best behavior.

Tim: When you say the Kents who do you mean?

Alfred: All of them, Jonathan, Martha, Clark, Lois, Kon, Jon, Kara, Otho, and Osul.

Cassandra: How many people will be in attendance.

Alfred: 24 people in total. For our part everyone WILL attend, no excuses. That means myself, Bruce, Dick, Jason, Danny, Tim, Duke, Stephane, Barbara, Harper, Cassandra, Luke, Kate, and Damian.

Jason: This is going to be fun.

Damian: I bet $20 the house burns down by the end of the night.

Danny: I'll take you up on that.

Meanwhile at the Kent farm

Martha: Morning everyone, last night I was talking with Alfred and we've been invited to dinner at the Waynes in two days. We will all be going, no buts.

Jonathan: We expect everyone to behave.

Kon: At least one person will end up in the hospital.

Kara: I think it'll be fun.

Clark: It'll be fun to see Bruce, it's been a while since we've seen each other as civilians.

Martha: Good, now let's enjoy breakfast, there are chores to be done, and they're not going to do themselves.

Part: 13, (all parts)

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!! I bring my followers a longish comic with some Damian feels, I hope you like it :)

Commission Info / Kofi (members get comics a week early)