Nightwing Being Hurt In The Field, And Over Comms He Can’t Get Out What Was Wrong, Nearly In Shock,

Tim gets back to Drake Manor really late one night early in his Robin career and finds the fridge empty. He doesn't have the energy to cook anything and decides to order a pizza.

The last thing he was expecting was for the delivery driver to be amnesiac Jason Todd, who got the job because he needed the money.

The last thing Jason expected on his last delivery of the night was for the customer to take the pizza, scream bloody murder, and then slam the door in his face.

Hehehe 😊😘

This is 100% smth Jason would do SPECIFICALLY to fuck with Tim

Jason: *icing cake he baked* Tim: oh, cool. Can I take a picture? That’s really pretty. Jason: uh, sure? Why? Tim: to post it on insta. Jason: *stops icing cake* what’s insta? Tim: Tim: *look of slowly dawning horror* you died. Oh my god you died— Jason: *muttering* I thought we already acknowledged that. You know, quite explosively acknowledged it Tim: *completely speaking over him* DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT A SNAPCHAT IS? FUCK— Jason: dude you’re hyperventilating

Fashion meme with the Batfam 

I actually made it comic form lmao this was fun

Yes, yes he is

soundwave superior ai artists inferior

Bruce: A memo from the Justice League.

Bruce, reading from a paper: Due to elevating cursing from the other heroes that we believe is coming from batfamily, we now are changing the way things are phrased.

Bruce, to Jason: “Ask me if I give a fuck” will be now “Of course I’m concerned.”

Jason:

Bruce, to Tim: “Who gives a shit?” is now “I wasn’t involved in that.”

Tim: *nods*

Bruce, to Stephanie: “Kiss my ass” is now “I don’t think you understand.”

Stephanie: Okay.

Bruce, to Dick: “Suck my dick” is now “Have a nice day.”

Dick:

Bruce, to Damian: And finally “Who the hell died and made you boss?” is now “You want me to take care of this?”

Damian: Yes, Father.

Duke: Bruce, you want me to write a reply email from you about this?

Bruce: Yes, please reply: “To the Justice League, of course I’m concerned. You want me to take care of this? While I wasn’t involved in that, I feel you should reverse these changes as I don’t think you understand. Have a nice day.”

The batkids: *snickering*

Alfred: That’s my boy.

Selina: I love you.

Jim Gordon once every few weeks, shouting talking by his window: would be a shame if someone tracked down the culprit in this case file I am leaving UNATTENDED at my desk and paid him a nasty visit. Sure hope this ABUSER, who used MONEY to get the charges dropped and is currently out and about doesn't get into a nasty ACCIDENT.

Batman wondering why he even bothers staying in the shadows anymore: ...

Gordon: Oh well, time for my lunch break

Dick: shit, with B out of town I forgot about Gordon's thing

Jason: Gordon's thing?

Dick: you know, the thing he always did where he'd leave casefiles on the roof of people who really needed to get beaten up?

Jason: ...that's what those were for?

Dick: yeah

Dick, hefting a file up: anyway, do you wanna take this pedophile or should I?

Jason:

Dick:

Jason: what were you thinking

Dick: I'm open to suggestions

Jason: kinda hard to diddle kids if you don't have functioning hands, yeah?

Dick, shuddering: now you sound like him

Ok but like- imagine Bruce Wayne deciding to become Batman at like mother fucking 15??? It would be the dumbest fucking thing ever

Imagine, Bruce after returning from patrol:

Alfred: master Bruce…homework

Bruce: I don’t need homework! Im Batman!

Alfred: Even Batman needs to do his homework!

Bruce: Hmp! *locks himself in his room and blasts my chemical romance on his speakers* nobody understands me…

Bruce not experiencing Damian’s baby and toddler years was probably for the best, because can you imagine how sickeningly sweet and positively over-the-top he would’ve been?

Damian would’ve been dressed in those adorable animal, character, and theme onesies. Halloween? Pumpkin that baby. Christmas? Lil baby angel outfit. Hanukkah? You’re a latke now, sweet boy. It’s Tuesday? Guess you’re a starfish today, baby. A limitless amount of adorable, ridiculous outfits.

And don’t let the facade of high-society sophistication and propriety fool you—Bruce would’ve been calling that baby everything but his name. Stinky man, my lil boo boo, baby boy, sweetheart, goober. When Damian sees a cow for the first time and goes “moo”? Guess your name’s Moo Moo now. What? I could just call him Dami? No, thank you. His name is Squish today. He will be Chubby Bunny tomorrow. No, I am not taking notes or suggestions.

Randos trying to touch or hold Damian? Be prepared to catch a whole Batfamily’s worth of hands. No, don’t look at my baby—bitch, I said don’t look at my baby. See, you looked at him, and now I have to buy your whole life on a discount. Look at what you made me do.