When Bruce Met Bernard, He Was Skeptical. He Respects Tim's Choice Of Partner Don't Get Him Wrong, But

jason: *turns corner after stopping a mugging and sees he's actively getting tire-jacked*

jason:

street kid:

jason: *getting prepared to just let the kid have the tire* any chance you're gonna put that back on?

kid: *eyes narrow* maybe. your name red hood?

jason: uh . . . yeah? *gestures to hood* i'm decently sure

kid: *screws tire back on* here ya go then, mister. sorry about that. i didn't know this was your bike.

jason:

kid:

jason: *hands her a flier for a shelter* ya can go here, kid. they'll help. call me if you ever get into any trouble, okay?

later:

jason: dickie i'll tell ya, in that moment i gave up, ya know? i fully accepted it. i looked down at the kid and i thought, "ive been runnin from bein bruce my whole life, maybe its time to give in". i was fully ready to take the kid to the nearest adoption agency by tomorrow. i was plannin' out the kids room in my apartment, stuffed animals and obnoxious night light an all. an then the little gremlin REJECTED ME

dick . . . by giving you back the tire he stole

jason: *crying* exactly

dick: did it ever cross your mind that she did that because she liked you? not the other way around?

jason: of course not! if she really liked me she would have hit me with the tire iron, not given me back the tire! what kind of backward thinking is that???

dick:

cue everyone shuddering in distaste. Bruce was really lacking in the creativity department

edit: link to the fic

How Catwoman treats the old Robins sometimes

Catwoman: Nightwing, how's my first Robin doing? Aww, you still got that cute face. Or should I say handsome, look at that smile.

Nightwing (smiling): Aww, thank you.

Catwoman: Here you go.

Catwoman handed Nightwing fresh brownies. He took them happily. Catwoman then walked over to Red Hood.

Catwoman: Red Hood.

Red Hood (nod): Selina.

Catwoman: Are you better mentally or are you going to shoot me?

Red Hood (shrugging): Don't want to waste the bullets.

Catwoman (patting the man on the shoulder): Same bratty charm. I missed that, glad to have you back.

Catwoman walked off to head back to Batman. Red Hood looked at Nightwing eating the brownies and snatched one away.

Nightwing: Hey! You can't eat any, you have a helmet on.

Red Hood: I'm saving it for later.

This is actually what the high guard has been doing for the 50 cycles I know this. And Starscream hates losing, but Soundwave can’t be bothered to do anything about that 😒 he’s like a wine mom rn, the way he’s babysitting the whole high guard too. He doesn't really play it with them cuz . It’ll be too easy with his ability, and he’d have to keep hearing everyone argue about who is what

While I'm sure bad guys in Gotham have learned over time that the Bats don't kill, that even after bashing your teeth in they'll flag down an ambulance or dump you unceremoniously at the ER, it's still a shaky trust.

One that is easily shaken seeing a child wielding a sword in the dead of night; nobody wants to learn how that is handled nonlethally. Or bad guys just surrendering one late night after running into an alley and Nightwing's standing over their unconscious buddy, holding the gun he wrestled away. They watch Red Hood break into the place they're robbing with a crowbar in hand and just decide they'd rather not chance it. They see a shadow that could be Black Bat and-- you get it.

Canon. Change my mind

Robin era Jason, who's going after the Riddler with Batman, and one of the Riddles is some kind of literary reference, so Jason solves it easily but when he gets to the location the riddle hinted at, it's wrong????

And it haunts him the whole time until they finally catch the Riddler and Jason gets to ask him about it before he gets locked up again, and turns out the Riddler just confused two diffrent barely similar quotes or something.

And Jason LOSES HIS MIND.

HE LOST SLEEP OVER THIS??! THIS?!?! HE THOUGHT HIS KNOWLEDGE WAS WRONG HE HAD TO REOPEN THE ORIGINAL NOVEL, HE'S BEEN CARRYING ON HIM FOR THE REST OF THE INVESTIGATION JUST IN CASE-

Anyways Batman barely manages to save the Riddler from getting a papercover volume shoved down his throat.

One day Tim’s out in casual clothes just roaming because Alfred said he needed to spend time in the sun (Jason said his sickly Victorian child was showing which is what actually got him outside).

Anyway he’s minding his business, bored out of his mind, when an alert about the riddler goes out. He escaped Arkham and Tim is like “I’ve got nothing better to do,” So he tracks him down. Except he tracks him down as Tim Drake, not Red Robin because he was told to get sunlight as Tim.

Kid basically knocks on the door the Riddler’s hideout like “I’m bored and I’m pretty sure I can out riddle you.” And the Riddler isn’t gonna take that challenge sitting down.

He doesn’t even have a plan set up yet. Just drags Tim in like “guess I’ll use this kid as bait he is influential.” And the entire time he’s setting up his elaborate trap he’s shooting riddles back and forth with Tim. Ten minutes in he’s given up on the trap because Tim is not only keeping up but is also dishing out stellar riddles. Riddler’s not about to risk killing one of the few people in Gotham that are actually entertaining.

By this point the Bat’s “Tim Radar” Has gone off. They haven’t heard from him and he hasn’t checked in for the Riddler Breakout. So they track him and they find him sitting in Riddler’s hideout with a mug of coffee playing the equivalent of four dimensional chess but it’s the game Clue.

It ends with the Riddler being willing to go back to Arkham so long has he has regularly scheduled enrichment time with Tim.

Tim’s content with that. Honestly he had a lot of fun.

Bruce is exhausted.

You know the dread you feel when you see the villain/monster of a horror movie just standing out in the open? Waiting for the protagonist/main character to see them?

Sometimes Bruce does that as Batman — waits directly underneath a streetlight, or in the center of a day-lit alley. Waiting for their eyes to slip past him, only to dart back to his chest, shoulders, and head in sudden, trembling terror.

Because it’s not about hiding. It’s about being seen. About intentions being unmistakable, until the criminals find themselves wishing for the uncertainty of shadows again. Darkness, instead of the dead-eyed, blunt obviousness of daylight.

STOPPPP I SAID OUT LOUD 'I can't go back to therapy cause what if they fix me and i lose my swag' AND FROM ACROSS THE PARK RED HOOD POINTED AT ME AND SAID "HE GETS IT"

why is this my life now 😭😭