Drakethog - My Left Buttock

Just an innocent Critical Role fan art of Fearne and Orym resting in peace under the red moon.

love how Brennan rolled up with Neverafter like “alright gang it’s the horror season time to explore the Depths Of Dread And Terror” and the most fucked up thing Murph could think of was “what if my wife left me”

SHUT UPPPPPPP WHY IS THIS SO GOOD

I loved my friend.

He went away from me.

There's nothing more to say.

The poem ends,

Soft as it began-

I loved my friend.

[ reality shatters ]

this episode literally chemically altered my brain i can’t stop thinking about it

Captain Carrot Ironfoundersson is literature's best King.

'But he ain't the king!' I hear you cry. Even though everyone knows better. He's the King of Ahnk Morpork, by birthright and fact. It's hard to deny, given all the evidence.

But what makes Carrot the best King isn't that he sits on a throne or makes proclamations or wears a crown. He does not, in fact, DO any of that. This is remarkable, given the number of Kings you can find on the Disc that go all in on the usual trappings of the job.

No, what makes Carrot the best King is HOW he, for lack of a better term, rules his people.

He does not rule the city. The Patrician does that, and quite well. But Carrot does rule his people, and he does it with a touch so light, so soft, many of them barely realize he does it.

Part of this is his upbringing. Dwarfs, by and large, do not wring their hands and worry about what tomorrow will bring because, down in a mine, getting to tomorrow is certainly not a guarantee. There is only what is in front of you, and what you can do about it.

Carrot brings this attitude with him everywhere. He shares it with others. He shows his people, by simple dint of a fresh perspective, that what they can do about what is in front of them is not limited by the concerns of tomorrow or the grudges of history.

Yes, lad, you could absolutely stab this other lad because he broke your mate's nose that one time when you were all scrapping over who got what rubbish from the pile. OR, you could put the knife down and join in this game involving the ball I happen to have right here because what lad doesn't like a bit of sport.

Yes, sir, you could try running all of those foreigners you dislike so much out of the city with threats of violence. OR, you could come along with me to this cozy little curry shop that, would you look at that, has been here for ages because the owners are every bit the Morporkian you are, they just handle direct sunlight a tad better by tanning.

Yes, my lord, maybe you should call the guard and have this impudent troll removed from your property. OR, begging your pardon sir of course, but since I AM a guard and that particular troll is Seargeant Detritus, perhaps you should assist us with our inquires regarding this seemingly innocuous murder Commander Vimes seems quite invested in.

And the magical part is that his people DO what he tells them. Suggests to them. They can't help it. And Carrot, despite appearances, knows it.

He KNOWS the power he has over people. And THIS is how he chooses to use it: domestic disputes, police work, and helping out where he can. He doesn't want a throne or a crown. He just wants to help. He wants his people to BE better, not because he says so, but because he knows they CAN be, and they just need to recognize that for themselves.

Captain Carrot Ironfoundersson is literature's best King, because the best a King can be is a servant to, a champion of, and a cheerleader for his people. And Carrot would rather die before he failed at being all of those things, simultaneously, and all the time.

Turns out the horsemen of the Apocalypse now prefer to go by Shareholder Profit, Private Equity, Corporate Personhood, and Workforce Optimization.

Binx Choppley, sole survivor of the Court of Craft

This is a part of the @d20exchange! A gift for @unhingedandunwell

mighty nein + textposts

“The fire does not burn so brightly as your love”

The latest in my Critical First Kiss art series… or in this case, Critical Final Kiss 😭

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