Hey! Are There Blacksmiths In Your Story? I'm A Hobbyist Blacksmith And I'm Here To Help!

Captain Carrot Ironfoundersson is literature's best King.

'But he ain't the king!' I hear you cry. Even though everyone knows better. He's the King of Ahnk Morpork, by birthright and fact. It's hard to deny, given all the evidence.

But what makes Carrot the best King isn't that he sits on a throne or makes proclamations or wears a crown. He does not, in fact, DO any of that. This is remarkable, given the number of Kings you can find on the Disc that go all in on the usual trappings of the job.

No, what makes Carrot the best King is HOW he, for lack of a better term, rules his people.

He does not rule the city. The Patrician does that, and quite well. But Carrot does rule his people, and he does it with a touch so light, so soft, many of them barely realize he does it.

Part of this is his upbringing. Dwarfs, by and large, do not wring their hands and worry about what tomorrow will bring because, down in a mine, getting to tomorrow is certainly not a guarantee. There is only what is in front of you, and what you can do about it.

Carrot brings this attitude with him everywhere. He shares it with others. He shows his people, by simple dint of a fresh perspective, that what they can do about what is in front of them is not limited by the concerns of tomorrow or the grudges of history.

Yes, lad, you could absolutely stab this other lad because he broke your mate's nose that one time when you were all scrapping over who got what rubbish from the pile. OR, you could put the knife down and join in this game involving the ball I happen to have right here because what lad doesn't like a bit of sport.

Yes, sir, you could try running all of those foreigners you dislike so much out of the city with threats of violence. OR, you could come along with me to this cozy little curry shop that, would you look at that, has been here for ages because the owners are every bit the Morporkian you are, they just handle direct sunlight a tad better by tanning.

Yes, my lord, maybe you should call the guard and have this impudent troll removed from your property. OR, begging your pardon sir of course, but since I AM a guard and that particular troll is Seargeant Detritus, perhaps you should assist us with our inquires regarding this seemingly innocuous murder Commander Vimes seems quite invested in.

And the magical part is that his people DO what he tells them. Suggests to them. They can't help it. And Carrot, despite appearances, knows it.

He KNOWS the power he has over people. And THIS is how he chooses to use it: domestic disputes, police work, and helping out where he can. He doesn't want a throne or a crown. He just wants to help. He wants his people to BE better, not because he says so, but because he knows they CAN be, and they just need to recognize that for themselves.

Captain Carrot Ironfoundersson is literature's best King, because the best a King can be is a servant to, a champion of, and a cheerleader for his people. And Carrot would rather die before he failed at being all of those things, simultaneously, and all the time.

Be Kind. Be Cunning. Do Right.

figure out your pc's average damage output and their optimal damage output. why?

a. you will always have a default strategy to turn to in a pinch and will know the range of what your pc can do under optimal conditions b. your dm knowing that your rogue could hypothetically do 50 damage in a turn under the best circumstances is good information for them to have to balance encounters.

here's how i do it:

first i want to figure out 'what is the most likely combination of action and bonus action to deal damage my character can take on a given turn without using an expendable resource that only effects them that turn', things like a barbarian rage or a bladesong are different because that's a lingering buff.

lets say we're a 5th level vengeance paladin, 20 strength with a longsword & shield

our sustainable turn would probably be presumably to bonus action vow of enmity (and if we already had who could say what we'd use our bonus action for) and then action attack twice.

2d8 + 10 = average of 19 points of damage.

then you want to figure out what's the most amount of damage i could do in my turn under optimal conditions. optimal conditions for our paladin. we already have vow of emnity going. we have branding smite as a bonus action, action attack twice, presuming both hit and we decide to expend our other 2nd level spell slot and one of our first level spell slots.

2d8 + 2d6 + 3d8 + 2d8 + 10 = average of 48.5 points of damage.

assuming you're fighting a fiend or undead you actually get to add an average of 9 more points of damage to that too.

so yeah one can see why this information is both useful to know as a player and as a dm. of course, this is assuming your attacks hit and doesn't take into account advantage/disadvantage or feats like gwm/sharpshooter. but the point is not always to be able to flex about how much damage your pc can deal. it is to KNOW what you can do if you needed to, what is a sustainable option for you damage-wise and helps you figure out whether it serves you / your party better to use your turn to attempt to attack or to use it to support another endeavor in an encounter.

cheers i use anydice.com to do my math for me.

just listened to the eldermourne short rest where emily said she always wanted to play a character where it made sense to take gift of gab

Friends reunited.

wow wow wow its finally finished

I started a doodle midway thru listening to Dimension 20's Neverafter and then just kept going

a special treat for those of us who enjoy watching sam reich torture his friends and/or employees

Glass Onion + Text posts

New Crow Time! It’s the Hound Knight. He’s a good boy!!!

New Vox Machina s2 Trailer Reveals!

Sooo much to see in that new trailer!

First off it looks like some in the party have gotten outfit upgrades (Keyleth, autumn edition, Grog with his new beard and Kraven’s Edge, and Vax with the Deathwalkers Ward presumably)

We get our first real good look at both Raishan and Throdak

First looks at Zahra and Kash!!! Plus presumably a Slayers Take episode

Osysa the Vasselheim Sphynx, plus Kayley and Dr Dranzel’s band!

First looks at some of the Vestiges including Fenthras and the Titanstone Knuckles, feat. Kevdak too

Our first find-a-Matt of the season, being dissolved by Raishan’s acid

Vex gets some new toys including her broom and her definitely-not-a-pokeball for Trinket

and a look at the Raven Queen herself perhaps!

Plus it looks like they’re possibly swapping in K’Varn the Beholder from the Kraghammer arc we missed instead of the Rakshaka for the Slayer’s Take arc.

What do you guys think, see any more easter eggs that I missed?