Each Of My Hundred Of Failed Attempts To Write A Story Is Actually A Lesson In Motivation, A Lesson In

Things I wish I knew as a teenager/young adult:

Its better to experiment with hair color, identities, etc now and regret it then staying in the closet

Your clique is out there (even if you're a wierdo furry like i was)

Other lonely depressed socially awkward people exist! Actually theres a lot of them!

Some people are into you like that! You just have to find them i promise i promise someone is out there!

Embrace your wierdness, double down even! The popular kids were probably never gonna jive with you anyway

Please take a moment to ask yourself if your trans, even if you think its impossible. It's totally okay either way but its an important question worth your time even if you decide you aren't (after all its good to understand your gender even if you are cisgender).

My arms outstretched

Palms on the wall

The mirror, the window, looking at me

Reflecting both of us

And neither of us

At the same time

Waiting

Boredom is a drum

I hum

Trum trum trum

Boredom is a clock

I tick

Tik tik tik

Boredom is an air vent

Breathing belabored

Under my own weight

Under the weight of air

Looking down at my phone

My view obscured by hair

Where where where

Am I?

No please I beg you...

Come back...

I love you furry with a basic ass fursona because its what you love, fr.

My skin

Soaked in sin

It's sagging

Un

Like my hearts beating there

I put my hands to my ears

In silent noise

The rumble of muscle

My eyes dialate

My mouth is dry

Like im going to die

I wait in anticipation of silence

To wash over a million hearbeats

I close my eyes

But fades of blue so faint, so fucking faint as nothing

Is still something

Im my meditation of death

Death illudes me

And i will never see her coming.

Biography

MY ACCOUNT IS 18+ MINORS DNI

"This is not for you"

-Mark Z Danielewski, "House of Leaves"

My name is Dreamgazer, and im 26 years old. I use She/Her and They/Them pronouns. Im also cool with any feminine pronouns you might know. I'm a Non Binary Trans Woman. I'm on the AuDHD spectrum. I started this blog because I've been passionate about writing my whole life. I felt it was time to put my work out there again publically, and see what people think. This is your blanket trigger warning for my blog, because I will not individually label each post for potential triggers. Some topics I might write about may be controversial, but judging by the rest of Tumblr I'm actually fairly mild. Feel free to ask me anything or request poetry. You can private message me if your interested in commissioning me for editing or writing, but poems are free. If you've read this far and you like my writing please consider commenting or rebloging. Feedback is important for me to improve at my job, and is always appreciated. Thank you for reading. :)

-I disagree with Radqueers and Conservatives personally but im open to civil dialouge with either.

-This blog is a safe space for LGBTQIA+ and allies. I also have zero tolerance for hate against people for being cis/straight.

Your brain is sick. The meds you are on are not fixing it completley, even if they are helping. Good words and affirmations cant fix it all either. Art and sharing cannot fix it all either. Love and intimacy and sex cant fix it all either. All these little pieces have been enough to at least keep going. You hope everyday that things will get better, and that hasnt gone away forever either.

I like to take a step back occassionally and review things as logically as I can and ground myself. I'd encourage others to do the same.

Cover art idea for Zoomies, my furry zine. Its based on the shit you see out of state, a dead raccoon, with a motherfucking "get well" balloon--

"they stopped talking about luigi mangione to silence us" his next court appearance is 9:00 AM at the New York Supreme Criminal Court, 100 Centre Street, February 21.

the reference number is IND-75657-24/001. it is within your constitutional rights to protest outside of the courthouse, make signs, and voice your opinions as loudly as you can. YOU don't have to stop talking about him. show up.