Do Not Go Far From Me

Do Not Go Far From Me

Loki x FemReader

Angst, fluff, two idiots pining, implied spice.

A/N: The reader decides to quit the Avengers and move into their own apartment. Loki finds out on a returning trip to Earth, and is not happy.

Maybe a multi-part piece?

And yes I got the idea from a critical role quote. 🥸

Enjoy 🤘🏼

It was getting late, and yet the bustling sounds of New York City still crept its way into your new studio apartment. You thought you had adjusted to the city life, but as you laid there in your bed— eyes staring blankly at the rotating fan, unable to sleep— you realized that that was indeed not true. The compound had definitely been quieter— whenever it wasn’t under attack, but it was hard to call that place home, even after years of service.

There was a knock at the door. You snapped up in bed, abandoning any hope for sleep as you listened for another knock. Sometimes pizza delivery drivers would mistake your apartment for the floor right above yours, more often than you’d care to admit. Usually, after the first attempt they realized their mistake and be on their way.

Maybe I should make a sign, you thought.

You were about to lay back down when there was another quick succession of raps against the door. Your curiosity was now peaked, and you quickly threw on a pair of pajama bottoms before looking through the peep hole. Your heart lurched in your chest at the sight of him. You considered not opening the door, but he could feel your presence already.

“Aren’t you going to let me in?” Loki’s cool voice said from behind the door.

You gave an irritated sigh and unlocked your door, swinging it wide open. Loki stood there, with an amused smirk on his face. He was wearing his usual Midgard attire, an all black suit, prim and proper as always, making you feel silly in your oversized sleep shirt and pj bottoms. He held something in his arm and you arched your brows at him.

“What is that?”

Loki hesitated a moment before handing you a small potted cactus plant. “I’ve been told it’s a warm house gift. Something to give to someone when they have recently changed their living quarters.”

You took the cactus, careful to not prick your fingers with the sharp spines. You gave him a small smile. “It’s a house warming gift, you big doof.”

Loki just shrugged. “I don’t see how this would warm your house, unless you set the thing on fire—“

“How did you find me?” You interjected. Under normal circumstances, you wouldn’t have minded his banter, but things between you weren’t normal anymore. You hadn’t seen Loki in months, and you certainly never told him of your plans on quitting the team. You never liked goodbyes, and so you let Loki be one of the few people you saved yourself from that kind of heartbreak.

Loki rocked on the back of his heels, making an impatient noise as he rolled his eyes. “You’re not a very hard person to find, y/n. It seems one of Earth’s mightiest heroes cannot simply just disappear, even when they move to the slums of —”

You began to shut the door, huffing a breath as you did, but his hand shot out and caught the door. The two of you fought for dominance with the door. You conceited only because you feared the poor door would shatter into splinters, then you would never get your deposit back.

“Okay, okay.” He finally surrendered, sensing your irritation. “Natasha told me where to find you.”

“Why?” You challenged. You put a hand on your hip, not willing to move from the door until he answered. His eyes raked over you once, making you feel oddly exposed. Still, you stood your ground.

“Oh for Odin’s sake,” he exasperated. Loki used his free hand to pinch the bridge of his nose as he took a deep breath. “I just— wanted to talk to you.”

You eyed him skeptically, not sure if you should believe him. You had wondered when the Avengers would try to drag you back into the chaotic mess that was hero work. You figured they’d at least send Roger’s star spangled ass to come recruit you back on the team, not the God of Mischief. Loki didn’t break eye contact with you, meeting your challenging eyes with icy blue defiance. You wanted to smirk. It was fun watching him squirm.

“Fine,” you shrugged. You threw the door open again, this time turning your back on Loki as you went back inside. You heard him follow you in, and he even took the time to shut and lock the door behind him. You placed the small cactus on your coffee table and sat on your single futon couch. Your apartment was still pretty bare since moving in.

Loki scanned the room. You felt yourself stiffen as he gazed over your new home. You hadn’t had the time to tidy for entertaining guests. Your bed was a mess of sheets from your fitful nights, not to mention the unpacked boxes that littered your space. You expected Loki to have a sly remark in place, but instead he leaned up against the wall by the front door and looked at you.

“I was gone for a few months,” Loki began, his voice oddly stern, “and when I return, I find your room empty. I thought perhaps something horrible had happened—“ he cleared his throat quickly. “But instead I was informed that you “quit” as Natasha had put it.”

“Didn’t realized you cared so much, Mr. Mischief,” you muttered. Loki hated when you called him that, and even now you saw his chiseled jaw clench in frustration. He pushed himself off of the wall and came dangerously close to you, towering over you on your couch. You glared daggers at him, unwavering as he sat on your coffee table making sure to be right in front of you. Part of you wished he had sat on the cactus.

“I did not come here in a joking mood,” he hissed. “I want to know why you left. I want to know what idiotic idea went through your head to make you think that choosing this-“ he motioned to your apartment with his hand, “was the better option?”

His stern voice sent chills down your spine. His eyes searched yours wildly, waiting for you to answer him. Part of you wanted to curse at him for talking to you like that. The two of you had gotten into screaming matches before, but tonight you couldn’t summon the energy to meet his demanding presence. You leaned back into your couch, crossing your arms and sighing.

“I left because— I couldn’t do it anymore.”

You pulled your knees to your chest and rested your arms and head. You fought back the tears that were gathering in your eyes, digging your nails into your elbows to make them dissipate. You felt Loki’s eyes on you but you refused to look at him. One soft look from him and you knew you would fall apart.

“I hated being a weapon. A soldier— being called in to fight battle after battle, risking everything to save a world that has never given a damn about me.” Your voice shook as you spoke. You weren’t this honest with the rest of the team. You had told them you missed living a simple life, missed the freedom that came with civilian life. But it wasn’t completely honest. “I hated the self righteous indignation. The hypocrisy— the secrecy and lies. Avenger. I hated who I was under that label.”

“I grew bitter.” You whispered. “I feared that if I stayed at the compound— if I stayed an Avenger, that I would end up becoming something I would regret.” It had been a fight, a long tiresome fight with Steve and Tony over your departure. Steve had said you had a duty to the world, that without you the avengers would not be the same. Tony, on the other hand, was adamant that your powers were an asset to the team, and he feared what you would do with them on your own. At least he was honest.

“Was I wrong?” You finally looked up at him. His expression was unbelievably soft. He gave you a small grin as he looked down at his interlaced hands.

“I don’t believe so,” he said softly. “Bitterness is a dangerous bedfellow, y/n, I cannot fault you for your choice to leave.”

“I feel like there’s a but coming,” you mused. Loki’s smile wavered, his expression turning melancholy as he met your gaze. “I suppose— I just wish—“ he stumbled over his words. It was unlike him to be so unsure of himself.

He sighed and extended his hand, cautiously taking your hand in his. Your body stiffened at the touch, his cool skin sent a strange heat through your body. His thumb traced over your fingers. “Was all of it unpleasant?” He asked.

Your breath hitched in your chest. “No.” You whispered immediately. You leaned forward, not wanting to shy away from this moment. You took both of his hands in yours, sliding your hands up until you were holding his wrists.

“For every reason i told myself to leave, it wasn’t nearly as strong as the one thing that reminded me of why I didn’t want to leave.” The words felt right as you said them. You held Loki in your hands, using his presence to give you the strength to continue. “Whenever you were there, in those rare moments that you and Thor graced our presence, the compound felt a little lighter. I actually enjoyed when you would come and cause a little chaos in my life,” you gave a small laugh. Loki gave a light chuckle, his blue eyes sparkled a bit as he looked at you.

Whenever Loki made a return visit to Earth, he would always drag you away from your duties to have fun. Your fondest memories came from your midnight excursions with Loki, bar hopping, drunken karaoke nights, and a few secret nights under the stars of Manhattan. He made your time there bearable, but it always came to an end.

“But you weren’t always there,” you murmured. You slowly pulled your hands away from him, wrapping your arms around yourself. “I found myself waiting around, wondering when you would return to pull me out of my thoughts. Then after a while, I decided I needed to pull myself out. I needed something— anything to feel like myself again.”

“Y/n…” Loki began. His voice was thick and deep. Your name sounded delicious on his mouth. You knew you would fall apart. He was the only person who could make you shatter with his words. You couldn’t back down now. You straightened your shoulders, lifting your chin in false pride.

“It’s fine Loki. It’s not your responsibility— I’m not your responsibility. We don’t owe each other anything and it was stupid of me to think— Anyway… I know it isn’t much, but this place is mine, and mine alone. It will hold me long enough for me to figure out what comes next. Believe me, I don’t plan on staying in New York City for long—there are too many memories that haunt me here.”

“And so you plan on disappearing again?” His words turned sour. “Where will you run to next, I wonder? Some dump worse off than this squabble?” You shot up from your seat, Loki followed your motion. The two of you were inches apart, his face looking down in you as you jabbed a finger into his chest.

“Where I go is none of your concern!” You growled. “Isn’t it?” He countered, moving closer. You could feel the heat of his breath hit your face, the smell of him was intoxicating. “No it isn’t,” you hissed. “You have your freedom. You come and go whenever and wherever you please. I think I deserve the chance to do the same.”

He took a step forward, causing you to back into the edge of your couch, threatening to trip you up. You glared at the god, waiting for him to say something, anything, but instead his chest just rose and fell, as if he was keeping himself from losing control.

“I think you should leave.” You said bitterly. Whatever it was he wanted to say, he could say as he walked out of the door. “Go back to the compound, to Asgard, I don’t give a shit. Just leave my apartment.”

You side stepped him, not waiting for him to respond as you reached your hand out to open the door. It was as if an invisible hand pulled the back of your shirt, dragging you backwards in a quick, fluid motion. The force spun you around and before you could curse at him, Loki’s hands were gripping your shoulders.

“Do you think I enjoyed leaving you?” He hissed between his teeth. “As if I could want to be anywhere where you are not. Gods! Your such an arrogant thing.”

You tried to pull away from him but his hands held firm on your shoulders.

“Then why did you?” You shouted at him. “Why did you leave me there? Alone? You knew how unhappy i was there and yet still, you left!”

His eyes bore into you with alarming intensity. His expression shifted from anger to that of deep sorrow. He leaned in closer, dropping his sultry voice to a whisper.

“I did leave. Like a coward— I left. It was easier for me to believe that you would be better off here—safer here, than with me. I thought I could survive that, despite what I feel for you… But when I arrived here — when I could not find you—“

He took a ragged breath. Seeing him so undone make your chest ache.

“Go wherever you want. Hide in the deepest darkest parts of the galaxy if that will bring you peace, but do not—you cannot keep me in the dark.” His voice shook as he spoke. You stilled in his embrace, watching as his eyes darkened as they raked over your face. “Please— wherever you go— do not go far from me. I could not bare it—not knowing where you are, or how you are. At least at the compound I knew you were never alone.”

Tears threatened to spill over. His hands softened on your shoulders, the tips of his fingertips grazed the base of your neck and you let out a ragged breath. He had teased you in the past, playing flirty games, testing his boundaries with you in front of the others, but this was different. There was no amusement in his eyes, and in the solitude of your apartment, everything felt too real.

“Don’t push me away, y/n,” he murmured. “I don’t care if you’re an Avenger, or where you live, or who you want to be. I just want—” he choked on his words. It was as if he was trying to say something, but his hands trembled on your body. He cursed himself, eyeing you almost painfully, as if he was afraid. The idea of him being so— human over you, gave you an odd sense of power. You would not push him away.

You let your hand trail up his arm, slowly using your fingertips to trace up until it rested in the collar of his suit. “Then stay,” you challenged. “Stay with me, even if it’s just for tonight. Just— don’t let me be alone. Don’t leave me again.”

Loki’s eyes seemed to darken, and a soft grin spread across his face. His hand trailed up your neck, cupping the back of your head with shattering tenderness. It was all you needed.

You pulled his collar towards you, colliding with him forcefully as your lips met his. He groaned with delight at the motion, gripping your hair as he kissed you. You continued to push him, gripping his shirt as you guided him to the couch. You broke away from the kiss, long enough to give him a shove, knocking him down onto it.

Loki looked up at you, his lips glistening as he smiled up at you. He unbuttoned the coat to his black suit, giving him easier access to move around. You stood above him, watching him as he motioned with his finger for you to come closer. You tilted your head playfully, slowly inching your way closer to him.

It was strangely fun to tease him. To keep your distance from him until you decided. His eyes bore into you, scanning your body as if it was the only thing in the universe.

“I need you closer,” he said in a thick voice. “Now.”

You laughed a little, waiting another moment before moving. Taunting him. You stepped closer, until your legs met his. You stood over him and raised your eyebrows expectantly. He seemed to understand immediately, a wicked grin flashed across his face.

“Please, y/n.”

You slid yourself over his lap, placing your knees on either sides of his hips as you kissed him. His hands flattened against your back, his nails digging in softly on your shirt. You used one hand to pull his chin down slightly, giving you more access to slide your tongue further into his mouth. You reveled in the fight for dominance inside both of your mouths. You bit at his bottom lip, making him curse under his breath while his hands slid upwards to cup your head ahead.

You broke apart from the kiss, staying inches from his face as you both caught your breath. You snatched his hands as they ascended and shoved them in the opposite direction. “I don’t think so,” you purred. You placed Loki’s hands on your lower waist, near the edge of your hips. His hands seemed to fit like a glove as he gripped you and held you closer to him. Loki looked at you dreamily, his eyes glazed over with a dark wanting desire.

You leaned forward, placing your hand along Loki’s throat, exposing his bare skin as you placed your lips by his ear. “My house, my rules,” you growled softly. You felt Loki chuckle underneath your hand. The vibrations from the rest of his body underneath you sent another wave of heat rolling through your insides.

“Then by all means darling,” he mused, “teach me how to play.”